chaircover: WOWWWWWW!!! just saw this thread

Haaaaaa!!!!! our son turns 17 in a few days time . . . so we have got this to look forward to

Ive been seeing signs and seems like something is brewing and we are def keeping our eye on the ball. For example how does a 100ml bottle of expensive cologne only end up lasting 3 weeks and my facial wash only lasts 2 weeks. The other day I caught him using my facial steamer. I think most of it is him suddenly being aware of his looks and image. A boy who 2 years ago we used to beg to tidy his room.

The most annoying thing right now is asking him to get something from the car or empty the bin and he takes 10 minutes to change his clothes, comb his hair, tie his shoe laces and splash cologne. The car that's just parked outside our house! The bin men have gone before he gets downstairs. Really annoying.

he had exams recently and I asked him to hand over his blackberry as I didnt want him distracted. you should have seen the look on his face and he negotiated me just taking the battery out of his phone and me keeping the battery and he keeps the phone. I guess he thought I will go through his phone if he gave me the whole thing LOL.

Right now he is kajoling us to change our cars to more trendy 2 door sports cars cos he wants to start driving lessons and doesn't want to be seen driving family cars around town.

These kids sha! Baba oyo just as others have said, keep an eye on things and be there to guide him. What an adult sees sitting down, a child wont see standing up. I pray that we always have cause to be joyful over our children Amen.

biolabee:

yes it makese sense... +20

biolabee:

thamks aluta/// maybe coming from a female.. it will be understood

Baba Oyo: Happy Sunday To you all!!!
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Its amazing how much heat & puff this thread has generated in just 24hrs....I like how my co-nairalanders have dissected & made this a very interesting debate for all to learn from.
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Good you all have your opinions, and I am definitely holding on to mine.....but for all the advocates of gender equalities and moral rights, well I say.......I WILL RAISE MY KIDS WHICHEVER WAY I PLEASE.......THEY ARE MINE, NOT YOURS......lolllll.......this thread is to share a father's experience with his teenage son's first date, let it remain so.!!!
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Lemme do some updating on his date.......L☺OL

alutacontinua:

Bukatyne, but you have to agree with me that a teenage girl getting pregnant and a teenage boy impregnating a girl are two different things, right?

This is not trying to be equal or unequal or hypocritical or play different rules, I think it's God himself that already planned the different rules in this situation. No matter how hard we try to make the female get over it, it can never be like for the male. I don't see this as playing different rules, it's facing reality and calling a spade a spade.

Sisi_Kill: If all girls became "well trained" who are the guys, whose relationship status change we are celebrating and oh so happy for, dating?

If the girls who aren't well trained are the ones who date guys, why are we happy for the guys?

If we have faith in our sons because we have talked to them about being well behaved why don't we have the same faith in our girls and allow them to date?

I don't advocate locking up your kids and forbiding them from dating, Teen dating is a reality we would be silly to ignore but not ignoring it/accepting that reality does not mean we have to celebrate it either.

In my opinion, if you can't open a thread for your teenage daughter dating....you shouldn't open one for your teen son.

On a personal and funny note, Baba Oyo reminds me of my older brothers...I have 3 of them and 1 younger brother (whom I am 3 years older than....3 years oh! 3 Freaking years!!). The day some guy called our house to speak to me, you shoulda seen the expression on my oldest brother's face. He acted like he didn't hear right and when he finally handed me the phone, you could almost hear him going "What the whaaa?" in his head. I took the phone and dude would not leave, he stood their all attention like one of Queen Elizabeth's Royal's guards.

I don't remember what my friend said because I was in a haste to get off the phone. As soon as I hung up, the questions started - Who is that? Why is he calling you? How did it get your number? He has guts oh! Calling you at home blah blah blah...all that righteous indignation from the same dude who was patted my younger brother (whom I am 3 years older than. 3 years oh! 3 freaking years) on the head after his first date.

All four of them had this moment..."oh, their younger brother don growed up". Yet my own dating became such an issue because good girls don't date. So one day, I asked if good girls don't date...why are you dating bad girls? Why do you want to be associated with filth? How do you love someone like that?! Why doncha have any respect yourself? What did I get in return...ehm, ehm, ehm. Yeah that's what I thought

Anyhoo, while I understand Baba Oyo's excitement..."his little boy don growed up" ! I'd advice against labeling girls who do date because these are the girls whom your son/brother/nephew...ya know the Awon Big boiz you are happy for, are dating. I mean if those girls are easy, sluts, bad etc...why is getting them something to be proud of?!!

bukatyne:

It's not even an issue of equality.

If parents trained BOTH boys and girls to flee pre-martial sex, don't you think that teenage pregnancy and all other consequences would reduce? As the difference made girls shun pre-martial sex?

ileobatojo:


Exactly. And for those that wont shun,simply teach sex education as thoroughly to both boys and girls. No need jubilating and turning cartwheels when one is about to have sex and bringing out koboko for the other like a non critical thinking person. Apart from the religious part,it is for the global good. It shows you can actually apply your brain and think and not just follow senseless traditions like sheep because that's just the way it is. Anyway its a waste of time. Many people here are too just too dumb to get the point . Not all parts of this post is directed necessarily at Aluta ( I know you responded to her post)

biolabee: @ileobatojo

So on top this matter people are now dumb?
Na wa oooo

when did being realistic translate to that[b] n is it smart insulting others who dont necessarily agree with your own POV[/b]

biolabee:

good morning also... since u mind the illogical equality.. carry go
for me.. i will endaeavour to train my kids on dangers of immorality but i will be more circumspect with my girls..
if u no like am well....

biolabee:
Its life... get with the program

biolabee: thamks aluta/// maybe coming from a female.. it will be understood

bukatyne:

It's not even an issue of equality.

If parents trained BOTH boys and girls to flee pre-martial sex, don't you think that teenage pregnancy and all other consequences would reduce? As the difference made girls shun pre-martial sex?

God didn't plan different rules else the punishment for adultery/fornication would differ from male to female

Sisi_Kill:

You know...this is the exact point a friend brought up yesterday when we discussed this issue. He said the teen girls who get pregnant did not get that way on thier own, so instead of locking one set of children away and throwing the key then turn around and pat another set on the head why not educate them ALL instead.

The pride should come not from keeping them from temptation but teaching them to look at temptation in the eye, say "Ain't nobody got time for that" and walk away.


Dating is not a big deal, it is all part of the progression of life but we have given it more value by doing two things..

1) Forbidding it thereby make it more tempting.
2) Celebrating it like it's some grand achievement.

Either way....if care is not taken, we may be inadvertently writing a check we can't cash.

@ Baba Oyo

Baba Rere please understand this is NOT an indictment on your parenting skills, I believe many here will agree with me that you are fantastic father and hubby (caught up on your romantic getaway with Iya Oyo.... I bow ) this is just general discussion about an everyday, can't be ignored issue. I like that your son is free enough with you to tell you about this...it gives me hope because I know the list of badly behaved teen boys will definitely be short one name. No one can tell you how to raise your children (and I doubt anyone want to either), they are fruit of your loins and no expert no matter how many letters the have after their names can know them like you do.


@ All
I don't understand how the idea that just because some of us are not high fiving over a teenager dating, we are being hypocritcal or pretending or burying our heads in the sand etc? Again teen dating is a reality that one can't ignore even if they tried to. It is everywhere it permeates everything we do and see...can't turn on the TV without seeing images of teenagers on their first date, discussing their boyfriends/girlfriends, it's on radios. You see them at the malls, shopping centers, on the streets. There is an entire industry dedicated to accommodating them....so how can one pretend it doesn't exist? No, we aren't being hypocritcal....we just don't see what the big todo is (especially when it is made a big no no for a specific set of people) and it has absolutely nothing to do with being unhip or having an bush orientation.

ileobatojo:
As opposed to these kind, non snarky words from you?

biolabee:

Happy sunday
All kids are equal and should be discouraged from immorality but a gender is more important than the other

Pity it's the female one

Ish

bukatyne:

I did not want to post but...

I believe it is the parents of girls that should even be clamouring for the boys to be well trained because it affects them directly. Do you plan to follow your girls to school, church or around? Wouldn't you be happy to find out that a boy that fancies your daughter has been properly trained and taught the importance of waiting for sex?

Does it make sense to you that the men your daughters will marry in future (let us assume they did abstain from sex) are currently been ill-trained and have unhealthy attitude towards sex and by extension the female gender because they are not affected by teenage pregnancy?

The truth if that if the boys are ill-trained or have unhealthy attitude towards sex, it is actually the girls that pay for it. Whether they abstain or not, they will marry these boys except you are gearing them to be lesbians.

Train your sons to be the kind of men you want your daughters to marry.

bukatyne:

I did not want to post but...

I believe it is the parents of girls that should even be clamouring for the boys to be well trained because it affects them directly. Do you plan to follow your girls to school, church or around? Wouldn't you be happy to find out that a boy that fancies your daughter has been properly trained and taught the importance of waiting for sex?

Does it make sense to you that the men your daughters will marry in future (let us assume they did abstain from sex) are currently been ill-trained and have unhealthy attitude towards sex and by extension the female gender because they are not affected by teenage pregnancy?

The truth if that if the boys are ill-trained or have unhealthy attitude towards sex, it is actually the girls that pay for it. Whether they abstain or not, they will marry these boys except you are gearing them to be lesbians.

Train your sons to be the kind of men you want your daughters to marry.

Sisi_Kill: I forgot to ask....if Teen Dating/boyfriend and girlfriend is not about sex as some have proffered why are we scared of our daughters getting pregnant? Abi do we have a buncha Marys on our hands?

ileobatojo:

GBAM!!

That's what I've been saying all along. The problem with high fiving your boy is that there is another parent's girl somewhere that will pay for it. I wonder why some people cannot see this as a problem?

biolabee:

We agreed it is a problem but the reality is that late teens will always want to explore...
As a risk manager, i will focus my resources on mitigating the most impact.. and that is the ladies

gerrit?

ileobatojo: Nope, makes no sense to me.

That is why women should be careful because the burden of an unwanted pregnancy usually falls on us
The man can walk away and continue with his life,the woman is stuck with the babies.

biolabee: This is true, all well and good

So let me ask u one q

Do the westernised and so called 'well behaved' 90s men u n ur ilk play up as a model of male behavior not also sleep with their teenage counterparts

is the explosion in immorality we have in afrika not a hige result of these same western influence

in the old days if a young man messed around with a girl... na marriage be that

all these sezzual license u see now... wetin cause am... same ol same ol feministic ish coupled with 'enlightenment'

bukatyne:

I am 100% certain you were not responding to my post you quoted.

What has feminism got to do with training your boys and girls properly? Where did I or 'my ilk' state that we look up to western men/boys? Who even brought western men or boys into the discussion?

The bolded is so hypocritical! Is it feminists that are training boys to be more sexually liberated or what the heck are you talking about?

Abeg, read my post wella before you quote me.

bukatyne:

I am 100% certain you were not responding to my post you quoted.

What has feminism got to do with training your boys and girls properly? Where did I or 'my ilk' state that we look up to western men/boys? Who even brought western men or boys into the discussion?

The bolded is so hypocritical! Is it feminists that are training boys to be more sexually liberated or what the heck are you talking about?

Abeg, read my post wella before you quote me.

biolabee:

i read your post well and i replied wella....
u bring up western men as models of good male behaviour but convieniently forget that immorality is the meat and bread of the self same west

maybe u have forgottem the feminism thread where ur kind make nigerian males to be Neanderthals and western white males are the epitome of maledom

rihanna displays her punana n goodies on screen
KK uses a sextape to become a diva
teen girls send nude pics too each other on fone...

no need to blow off... its just a discourse

yes its civilisation... indeed?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2325673/Pregnant-teens-yanked-high-school-yearbook-showing-baby-bumps.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2123450/Student-charged-having-hundreds-images-videos-teens-performing-sex-acts-school-laptop.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1352243/Mobile-phones-Teens-use-look-porn-swap-revealing-photographs.html

bukatyne: xxxxxxx

biolabee:

buka.. tired?...au contraire.. im having fun streaming my Game of Thrones..are u a fan
I told u all are equal but the consequences of immorality are more on females... why dont u want to accept that

biolabee:

I told u all are equal but the consequences of immorality are more on females... why dont u want to accept that

bukatyne:

You do not understand my point: Train both boys and girls properly and the consequences will reduce. Shikena! Nobody is talking of equality or inequality here