Efemena_xy:

Stories like these make the MrBrownJays and their attitudes to pregnant women look acceptable.

@OP, why should you be having mild to heavy arguments with your spouse frequently? Sounds like you instigate them. Please explain 'heavy arguments'. Do you get violent? Throw things around? Do you have a sharp, caustic tongue that's quick to insult the hell out of the man??

You're pregnant. The least you can do is respect yourself and keep your mouth shut. Why must you have an argument with your husband? Pls don't give the excuse of being hormonal this and hormonal that! Aren't you aware of the complications that can arise from having a high bp, which can be induced from unnecessary arguments?

I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like the more mature one here. Rather than entangle himself with a battle of words, he chooses to walk out of the situation till things cool down. Or what do you expect him to do? Sit down quietly while you heap insult upon insult upon his head? Do you even know what might happen if he snaps?

Or maybe, you really are one of those who has a fetish for violence and only feel loved if your husband plummets the living daylights out of you.

Sorry, but from what you've posted, I support your husband 100%. You on the other hand haven't learnt your lesson. If sitting down to discuss amicably, and keeping your mouth shut while he airs his grievances is too much for you to bear, then don't blame him the day he walks out on you for good... straight into the arms of a more accommodating missus.

Oh, and I need to ask this of you: Didn't you guys date at all before getting hitched? Didn't you study the man before tying the knot and saying "I do"?

Efemena_xy:

Stories like these make the MrBrownJays and their attitudes to pregnant women look acceptable.

@OP, why should you be having mild to heavy arguments with your spouse frequently? Sounds like you instigate them. Please explain 'heavy arguments'. Do you get violent? Throw things around? Do you have a sharp, caustic tongue that's quick to insult the hell out of the man??

You're pregnant. The least you can do is respect yourself and keep your mouth shut. Why must you have an argument with your husband? Pls don't give the excuse of being hormonal this and hormonal that! Aren't you aware of the complications that can arise from having a high bp, which can be induced from unnecessary arguments?

I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like the more mature one here. Rather than entangle himself with a battle of words, he chooses to walk out of the situation till things cool down. Or what do you expect him to do? Sit down quietly while you heap insult upon insult upon his head? Do you even know what might happen if he snaps?

Or maybe, you really are one of those who has a fetish for violence and only feel loved if your husband plummets the living daylights out of you.

Sorry, but from what you've posted, I support your husband 100%. You on the other hand haven't learnt your lesson. If sitting down to discuss amicably, and keeping your mouth shut while he airs his grievances is too much for you to bear, then don't blame him the day he walks out on you for good... straight into the arms of a more accommodating missus.

Oh, and I need to ask this of you: Didn't you guys date at all before getting hitched? Didn't you study the man before tying the knot and saying "I do"?

Efemena_xy:

Stories like these make the MrBrownJays and their attitudes to pregnant women look acceptable.

@OP, why should you be having mild to heavy arguments with your spouse frequently? Sounds like you instigate them. Please explain 'heavy arguments'. Do you get violent? Throw things around? Do you have a sharp, caustic tongue that's quick to insult the hell out of the man??

You're pregnant. The least you can do is respect yourself and keep your mouth shut. Why must you have an argument with your husband? Pls don't give the excuse of being hormonal this and hormonal that! Aren't you aware of the complications that can arise from having a high bp, which can be induced from unnecessary arguments?

I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like the more mature one here. Rather than entangle himself with a battle of words, he chooses to walk out of the situation till things cool down. Or what do you expect him to do? Sit down quietly while you heap insult upon insult upon his head? Do you even know what might happen if he snaps?

Or maybe, you really are one of those who has a fetish for violence and only feel loved if your husband plummets the living daylights out of you.

Sorry, but from what you've posted, I support your husband 100%. You on the other hand haven't learnt your lesson. If sitting down to discuss amicably, and keeping your mouth shut while he airs his grievances is too much for you to bear, then don't blame him the day he walks out on you for good... straight into the arms of a more accommodating missus.

Oh, and I need to ask this of you: Didn't you guys date at all before getting hitched? Didn't you study the man before tying the knot and saying "I do"?

Efemena_xy:

Stories like these make the MrBrownJays and their attitudes to pregnant women look acceptable.

@OP, why should you be having mild to heavy arguments with your spouse frequently? Sounds like you instigate them. Please explain 'heavy arguments'. Do you get violent? Throw things around? Do you have a sharp, caustic tongue that's quick to insult the hell out of the man??

You're pregnant. The least you can do is respect yourself and keep your mouth shut. Why must you have an argument with your husband? Pls don't give the excuse of being hormonal this and hormonal that! Aren't you aware of the complications that can arise from having a high bp, which can be induced from unnecessary arguments?

I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like the more mature one here. Rather than entangle himself with a battle of words, he chooses to walk out of the situation till things cool down. Or what do you expect him to do? Sit down quietly while you heap insult upon insult upon his head? Do you even know what might happen if he snaps?

Or maybe, you really are one of those who has a fetish for violence and only feel loved if your husband plummets the living daylights out of you.

Sorry, but from what you've posted, I support your husband 100%. You on the other hand haven't learnt your lesson. If sitting down to discuss amicably, and keeping your mouth shut while he airs his grievances is too much for you to bear, then don't blame him the day he walks out on you for good... straight into the arms of a more accommodating missus.

Oh, and I need to ask this of you: Didn't you guys date at all before getting hitched? Didn't you study the man before tying the knot and saying "I do"?

vanitty: Common sense prevailing, it surely can't be the lady's fault, for him to come back and beg with his family, he knows what he is doing is wrong. Also his disappearance for 5 good years from his family home.

Listen poster, don't let anyone portion any blame on you. All marriages have issues, if we all decide to run away, no one absolutely no one will remain a couple.

This is a very unusual scenario i must say. When he left, were you aware of his whereabouts? If you were not, next time he disappears, please make so much noise about it, you don't want to become a suspect (Heaven forbid)

You answered your own question really, inform his and your family. Also, your hubby needs to see a shrink, this is a mental issue that he needs to work on. My own conclusion from this is he is a lazy man that shy away from his responsibilities, a very insecure man that uses no stress no wahala persona as a front to hide the fact that he is simply not man enough. How does one run away from your own child and wife. Na wa.

I wonder how he is at work when faced with different issues.

ablyguy: I know of a man with not so different behaivour. He's a driver. Whenever he has a misunderstanding with his wife at home, his heart keeps fluttering, making him restless and out of focus which according to him affects his driving. Because of that he usually distances himself from arguments and would be the first to beg no matter who is at fault. Unluckly for him he married a wife with an acerbic tongue. He does the same with ousiders. But when it comes to physical provocation he turns into something else. If you value yourself during conflicts you don't want to lay your finger on him. He won't run away from a physical fight but would from a verbal one.

I think the problem with this kind of people usually stemmed from their mother. If the mother was verbally abusive, then expect such behaivour from him. Because the only way he learnt how to handle such was keeping quite. But running away from home for months is something I can't explain. Probably what was said to him must be really bad?

I think the only way to solve the problem is to watch what you say to him. If you can't, then look for someone else that can tolerate your words...

Gunzilla:

Dude why cant you comment based on the facts as the woman presented her story ?? Instead of going on a rant as to what MAY or MAY NOT be the husband's side Some people sef !!

Efemena_xy:

Stories like these make the MrBrownJays and their attitudes to pregnant women look acceptable.

@OP, why should you be having mild to heavy arguments with your spouse frequently? Sounds like you instigate them. Please explain 'heavy arguments'. Do you get violent? Throw things around? Do you have a sharp, caustic tongue that's quick to insult the hell out of the man??

You're pregnant. The least you can do is respect yourself and keep your mouth shut. Why must you have an argument with your husband? Pls don't give the excuse of being hormonal this and hormonal that! Aren't you aware of the complications that can arise from having a high bp, which can be induced from unnecessary arguments?

I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like the more mature one here. Rather than entangle himself with a battle of words, he chooses to walk out of the situation till things cool down. Or what do you expect him to do? Sit down quietly while you heap insult upon insult upon his head? Do you even know what might happen if he snaps?

Or maybe, you really are one of those who has a fetish for violence and only feel loved if your husband plummets the living daylights out of you.

Sorry, but from what you've posted, I support your husband 100%. You on the other hand haven't learnt your lesson. If sitting down to discuss amicably, and keeping your mouth shut while he airs his grievances is too much for you to bear, then don't blame him the day he walks out on you for good... straight into the arms of a more accommodating missus.

Oh, and I need to ask this of you: Didn't you guys date at all before getting hitched? Didn't you study the man before tying the knot and saying "I do"?

khiaa:

Did you read her post entirely? If a man leaves his wife 2 weeks after the marriage and stays gone for 4 months, he is not leaving because of anger, he is leaving because he has someone else to run to. Do you think he is living in a hotel for 4 months and going without sex for 4 months, I don't think so. Anytime a man leaves his wife for that long you can bet there is another woman ( or man ).

oraclefemi:


SHUT UP ! YOU JUST PISSED ME OFF, DONT TWIST HER STORY !!! OFFER ADVICE , DONT JUDGE HER..YOU ARENT WALKING IN HER SHOES...I DETEST PEOPLE LIKE YOU..

Efemena_xy:

Stories like these make the MrBrownJays and their attitudes to pregnant women look acceptable.

@OP, why should you be having mild to heavy arguments with your spouse frequently? Sounds like you instigate them. Please explain 'heavy arguments'. Do you get violent? Throw things around? Do you have a sharp, caustic tongue that's quick to insult the hell out of the man??

You're pregnant. The least you can do is respect yourself and keep your mouth shut. Why must you have an argument with your husband? Pls don't give the excuse of being hormonal this and hormonal that! Aren't you aware of the complications that can arise from having a high bp, which can be induced from unnecessary arguments?

I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like the more mature one here. Rather than entangle himself with a battle of words, he chooses to walk out of the situation till things cool down. Or what do you expect him to do? Sit down quietly while you heap insult upon insult upon his head? Do you even know what might happen if he snaps?

Or maybe, you really are one of those who has a fetish for violence and only feel loved if your husband plummets the living daylights out of you.

Sorry, but from what you've posted, I support your husband 100%. You on the other hand haven't learnt your lesson. If sitting down to discuss amicably, and keeping your mouth shut while he airs his grievances is too much for you to bear, then don't blame him the day he walks out on you for good... straight into the arms of a more accommodating missus.

Oh, and I need to ask this of you: Didn't you guys date at all before getting hitched? Didn't you study the man before tying the knot and saying "I do"?

iamsaved: Points to note;

**my hubby is the type that likes the easy way out in any situation, not marriage only

**after we got married, he once said that he is suprised he is a married that He is not really the marriage/family type.

**he doesn't like anything, I mean anything at all that will be like stress to him. For instance: the reason he stopped going to redeem church is because redeem is #30 bike from our new location. He joined another church just a short walking distance to and from home because going to redeem will be stressful to him. He doesn't own a car.


**he has always been extravagant, doesn't believe in saving money. Always in one debt or the other while i am the exact opposite in this regard.

ferdimako:

Go and replace this man, he has left the place for ya.Haha

2legit2qwt: I still can't believe some people actually have reasons to back a runaway husband

Even if we are to assume the scenario that the woman is the cause of the problem, a man running away from his home for weeks or months will not fix the issues in his relationship.

ferdimako:

Na u be the side woman.

ferdimako:

Na u be the side woman.

Guyman02: I can observe that you are a very proud woman, claiming all the good part without giving any credit to your husband. Woman! reduce your pride and try another system by being really submissive, talk to him gently even when there is an argument. Try not to order him around and call him names because he refused to do a particular chore. Try to always put him in a good mood and with time he will surely change.
- Do you declare your income to him or you hide it from him.

- Have you ever asked him if he will need your assistance in anyway to help him start saving and cutting costs since you said he spends money lavishly and has no savings. (perhaps your own or his lifestyles might be contributing to that)

- Do you commend him as a wonderful husband and father in front of his and your own family?

- Do you jointly plan your income for the good of the family or you play the wise one who can handle it better i.e go out there and buy whatever you need without his consent.

- What kind of abuses do you rain on him?

- Are you the violent type and sometimes think of slapping him across the face but restrain yourself?

- Do you think by yourself that you have a deadly tongue or people have told you that?

- Do you call him when he is not at home and tell him how much you love him and that you just prepared his favourite dish and that after eating he must reward you with good lovemaking for the night?

- Do you pray together? if yes, are you among the women who would say 'I come against any woman that is after or interested in my husband and wait for the man to say Amen!.

- Do you tell others how irresponsible you think your husband is?

- Do you tell him that you think you can do without him afterall you have a profession and a job?

- Do you bring your profession to the home and doesnt know where to draw the line e.g are you are a lawyer who sees everything in the home from a legal perspective or an accountant who thinks everything should be numerically correct or a medical personnel who thinks that the man is sick in the head?

Please answer the questions which you have consistently dodged in this thread. But most of all, if you start showing him respect and love and treating him as the head of the home and avoiding telling him things and words that you will not use or utter to your boss or employer he will never be tempted to leave home again.

mother28: Am so sorry in what you are passing through. Howerver, it seems like you married an immature and irresponsible man. I understands that every relationship has issues but living for months at a time is not acceptable. I advised you to report this issue to your parents and his parents so they can caution him one final time. If he runs away again, you may want to consider other options. Is better to be single and happy than to be married and depressed,Angery, high blood pressure and take may lead to other health issues like stroke or early death.My sister, your children needs you so do whatever is good for the kids and you.

iamsaved: Quite alot to say but this is the most disturbing part. Should I prepare myself for the inevitable? should I inform my parents that my husband is still the same run-away soldier?

peclint:


When something is broken, the natural way to fix it is by identifying what caused the break, what factors have been causing it to break, what are the possible solutions, you try different strategies to see if they could work, not planning an exit strategy.

As a christian, stop asking for solution to your problem from people who do not share the same christian values with you.
Read your bible, it tells you how to build your home and be a wife. Also pick up christian books on marriages.

Finally anyone reading this, forgive me for my long epistle

freecocoa: A man ran away from home for 5 years because he was asked to do chores, and y'all are here blaming his wife for his running away attitude?you gotta be kidding me.

iamsaved: Before this thread was moved to the front page, i already finalized on what to do but all the same I have picked more advice, tips and suggestions from the recent posts.

Once again, thanks everyone for your various contributions. It is well.

iamsaved: Before this thread was moved to the front page, i already finalized on what to do but all the same I have picked more advice, tips and suggestions from the recent posts.

Once again, thanks everyone for your various contributions. It is well.

Guyman02:
Please can you summarise the most important tips and suggestions you picked up so that others can learn from them. Dont just walk away like that after Nlers have spent their time on your issue. Thanks as you do so.