Efemena_xy:

Madam, I was enjoying your post till I got to the last bit! Must you add comedy to it, eh?

Why does she need to find out where he stays for weeks / months on end? How e go help her case na?

vivianc: Hey! Efe the sTory Twister! . As usual, u don add pepper and ajinomoTor.


@post, sorry I'm not qualified to comment.

carefreewannabe:

I really don't get what bothers you so much about this thread. I don't think it is meant to bash husbands all around Nigeria. This is just a pregnant woman asking for advice, not more not less. Of course, she presents the situation from her perspective, the husband's view may or may not be different. She is suffering and asks people for help. This is one of a forum's functions, to seek and give advice. If it bothers you, why do you come here? Your comment is inappropriate. Just keep in mind, that there will be more threads of this kind as there are many unhappy marriages out there. That's life.

iamsaved: I am extremely confused at this point as I need to plan my future and my kid(s) future.

We have been married for 4years now, blessed with a child and expecting the second. For weired and unexplained reasons, my hubby is fond of abandoning our home whenever we have mild to heavy misunderstanding. He first abandoned me 2weeks after wedding over a minor arguement, came back, 4months later after wedding, same thing for one month and finally when I was pregnant with our first child over a little misunderstanding but this time for a long time. Yes I know it sounds funny. We reconciled late last year after he came with his family to beg, my major reason of going back being cos of my child. Now am some months pregnant and he attempted to leave again last two weeks. It was his friend who stopped him from leaving. During the meeting held last, Hia friend asked him exactly the reason he keeps doing that, he said he just doesn't want wahala or stress.

This didn't start with me, he once said he ran away from home for 5years when he was in his early 20s cos his mum was telling him to o house chores.

I regret reconciling with him. If I wasn't pregnant, I know i would have walked out finally since its still the same thing happening all over again.
I am scared for my future and the future of my kids.

sheniqua:
Did he come from a polygamist home and saw his father perambulate from home to home after arguments
He may be modeling the only thing he knows
When it gets rough you run to the other woman or just run
Na wa
Please cut him loose before he transfers the same demons to your sons

A man leaves you 2 weeks after your wedding to return 4 months later and you are having babies with him
Where did you think he went to?
A retreat?
AIDS is real,you better wake up

byvan: A man staying away from his family for that long over a squabble is quite unusual,knowing where he stays when he leaves home might solve the mystery.

Efemena_xy:

Vivi, you don start again, ni?

Abeg leave ma skirt jare. I need to start charging you for my 'stories' sef. Country haaaarrrd o!

Biko, which one be Ajinomotor? na cooking spice?

vivianc:

Yes o, Ajinomotor na cooking spice popularly known as "maggi white." E dey make food sweeT die but might purge you in the long run.

breadplanet: Ive resisted dis urge for as long as i can but i just have to say it! *The woman should try running away too when he finally comes back* whatchathink?

debosky: Even if she scores dozens of verbal points, is that now an excuse to run away from your own house for weeks on end? What kind of man does that?

Leaving for a few hours I can understand, even a night or two if the argument was very severe, but for weeks and to do so regularly? There is clearly a serious issue with the man - running away for weeks/months is no way to resolve problems.

yellowpawpaw:
Honesly speaking,some men r like that.they just don't want wahala. Instead of facing their problem squarely,they will just bolt away.
My nebor in school is a very good example.no strength to talk.any small thing*yp,I no get strength, pls leave me alone*
They exist. Its just that op didn't care to study her man very well.

Fhemmmy:

Run away alone or with the kids? cos a man that could leave behind his home for that long wont give a damn or be able to take care of the kids if the woman is not there

breadplanet: Ease up fhemmy i was just joking.

Lol . . . You got me there

Fhemmmy:

There is nothing wrong in not liking wahala and not being able to face trouble, but to be gone for weeks, i think the dude is only good at his game.

yellowpawpaw:
There is no game here.a player can't just leave his house for months like that unless he is married to mumu.has it ever occured to d wife to find out where he stays and what he does there.she will just fold hands and wait till whenever he comes back.
Madam is yet to say what is goin on.remember,we only heard from op. And no matter what d other person is always painted black so as to gain pity.
Had it been this case was presented in a court,d kind of ?s lawyers will ask op will make her say d truth.
Op,let me ask u,when ur husband take benjonson,what do u do?hv u ever looked for him?,begged him to come back.......

Efemena_xy:

Stories like these make the MrBrownJays and their attitudes to pregnant women look acceptable.

@OP, why should you be having mild to heavy arguments with your spouse frequently? Sounds like you instigate them. Please explain 'heavy arguments'. Do you get violent? Throw things around? Do you have a sharp, caustic tongue that's quick to insult the hell out of the man??

You're pregnant. The least you can do is respect yourself and keep your mouth shut. Why must you have an argument with your husband? Pls don't give the excuse of being hormonal this and hormonal that! Aren't you aware of the complications that can arise from having a high bp, which can be induced from unnecessary arguments?

I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like the more mature one here. Rather than entangle himself with a battle of words, he chooses to walk out of the situation till things cool down. Or what do you expect him to do? Sit down quietly while you heap insult upon insult upon his head? Do you even know what might happen if he snaps?

Or maybe, you really are one of those who has a fetish for violence and only feel loved if your husband plummets the living daylights out of you.

Sorry, but from what you've posted, I support your husband 100%. You on the other hand haven't learnt your lesson. If sitting down to discuss amicably, and keeping your mouth shut while he airs his grievances is too much for you to bear, then don't blame him the day he walks out on you for good... straight into the arms of a more accommodating missus.

Oh, and I need to ask this of you: Didn't you guys date at all before getting hitched? Didn't you study the man before tying the knot and saying "I do"?

mysticgal: op this one na joke,but anytime you know you want to have a quarrel,shut the doors,windows,shutters,blinds,hide the knifes and accessories far where you both cant reach,then put your kid to sleep before you commence your bouts and make sure the key is a hidden agenda,you will be surprised he will sulk in his home,and please solve your problem like matured adults,third parties must not be involved.

Mz_spread: . If I may say,dat was quite harsh of u anty Efe,she needs ur cool advice and not critism. Av always loved d way u handle matters here on NL but dis one is way too harsh. Calm down pls..

yellowpawpaw:
Honesly speaking,some men r like that.they just don't want wahala. Instead of facing their problem squarely,they will just bolt away.
My nebor in school is a very good example.no strength to talk.any small thing*yp,I no get strength, pls leave me alone*
They exist. Its just that op didn't care to study her man very well.

Mz_spread: . If I may say,dat was quite harsh of u anty Efe,she needs ur cool advice and not critism. Av always loved d way u handle matters here on NL but dis one is way too harsh. Calm down pls..

debosky:

There are no normal men like that. No normal man will leave home for weeks/months just because of an argument - he is either dealing with some serious mental issues or has another wife and/or concubine elsewhere.

What normal human being runs away from home because his mother told him to cut grass or sweep the living room?

sheniqua:
Did he come from a polygamist home and saw his father perambulate from home to home after arguments
He may be modeling the only thing he knows
When it gets rough you run to the other woman or just run
Na wa
Please cut him loose before he transfers the same demons to your sons
Allow him to.run off and close your door.,

A man tells you he ran away from home for 5 years because he was asked to sweep the compound and you picked him as a life partner and presented him to your parents as their son in law

A man leaves you 2 weeks after your wedding to return 4 months later and you are having babies with him
Where did you think he went to?
A retreat?
AIDS is real,you better wake up and smell the coffee