naijababe: @ jide, half the time when i read the family thread, my eyes are popping outta their sockets. Me, i don't know what to believe again. Make everybody shinw their eyes and sign a prenup if they have to!!!

Now you're talking.

Prenuptial kę? Ki lan so ki lon so? ( I feel you're fed up yourself even cc was frustrated these days)

Most of the stories are Real!

See the yetty woman? A woman whose husband was her first, good grades and all while in school. What do you say to that hun? Abandoned with a kid and expecting just like that I've been going back and forth to that thread speechless.

First of, she needs a routine psychologist session or her postpartum depression no go get number 2!

Now how can one discover the hidden characters? coz this days pretence encapsulates many courtship.

.

Now how can one discover the hidden characters? coz this days pretence encapsulates many courtship...

godello: Now how can one discover the hidden characters? coz this days pretence encapsulates many courtship...

Well that's another Topic for another day.

But : Shine your eyes well well and control the ants in your pants ( no rush for testing ).

IMHO Lowering ones expectstion wil go a long way in making things work out after the ceremony.
Further more, willingness to continue wit the journey and compromise wil ensure that smal problems were not allowed to get bigger unneccessarily.
Wat do U Guys think?
BTW, sometyms, we feel we know a lot of things wic is true to some xtent but do we put them into practise? NO.
Bottomline. Most of US know exactly wat it takes to have a peaceful and blisful marital life but the one mil dollar question is why are we not ready to do them? I seek the answer to this frm fellow forumites. My 1 kobo

Well being that I am a married man, i'll chip in my 2 cents...before saying I do,

1. get to know your Partners friend (It will give you a microcosm idea of who he/she is, and perhaps what kind of family friends y'all will have after marriage).

2. get to know your partners extended family and immediate family.

3. Talk about the future, her/his fear, Ideal family size, your interests and pay very close attention to how they treat others (especially the poor n illiterate)...if you find the way your partner treat others disgusting, correct them and see how they take your correction.YOU CANNOT FAKE HUMBLENESS.this is very important as when married, you guys will come across family members that are either or both..(destitute/illiterate)..But always be willing to politely demand your partner respect others...if he/she is not showing any changes over the course of your courtship, be ready to see it OVER the LIFETIME OF YOUR MARRIAGE.

4. iF your partner always put you FIRST,in anything whatsoever, RETURN the favor because it will carry over in your marriage.

5. This part is very Pivotal. in the course of your courtship, TEST your partner with your money, Occasions , Time , whatever and see how well they manage it..and this includes you LADIES. Yes, TEST your money with your man. it doesnt have to be a huge amount. Ask your partner to remind you of occasions that u may/mayNOT FORGET- it could be a simple," babe i've got this project that needs to be fixed before tuesday, pls remind me to do it by monday"

I did all these things with my LOVELY wife and I sensed her doing some too in the course of our 2 years COURTSHIP..before I come slap her finger with a nice diamond princess-cut ring. The greatest thing to ever happen to me is finding my best friend, my love , the woman that understands me better than myself , the one that encourages me , my better half and the mother of our beautiful daughter.

GUYS CLOSE YOUR EYES MAKE I TELL THESE WOMEN wey dey read my post ONE other small secret
ladies learn how to cook very well and take pride in running your kitchen's day to day activity...I cannot stress this enough ! believe me, if he leaves home to your breakfast, he'll RUSH home for your DINNER! and you will both have plenty of time to bond and plan next day ! I'm saying this because I listen to how my married/dating friends complain about their girl's cooking...and how they like to OVERSTAY at my crib when they visit..just because wifey they execute some " ofe Oha " LOL..Ike is OUT

now, am even more scared than i use to be.

stiiv: now, am even more scared than i use to be.

bros, u are not alone. This marriage issue....it seems the more you try to understand, the more you are confused.
God knows if i am gonna make mistakes in my life, it mustnt b in marriage.

What is the point of going into it if it wont b blissful........come to think of it, i have lived just about a fourth of my life. I cant imagine sharingng the remaining three-fourths with someone and my life is not better than it was as bachelor.

I tell my friends that i imagine a time in future when the people who marry are less than those who dont. I.e marriage may go 'out of fashion' (which seems to have started happening). Lord help us all *sighs*

stiiv: now, am even more scared than i use to be.

bros, u are not alone. This marriage issue....it seems the more you try to understand, the more you are confused.
God knows if i am gonna make mistakes in my life, it mustnt b in marriage.

What is the point of going into it if it wont b blissful........come to think of it, i have lived just about a fourth of my life. I cant imagine sharing the remaining three-fourths with someone and my life is not better than it was as bachelor.

I tell my friends that i imagine a time in future when the people who marry are less than those who dont. I.e marriage may go 'out of fashion' (which seems to have started happening). Lord help us all * sighs *

Ike_77503: Well being that I am a married man, i'll chip in my 2 cents...before saying I do,

1. get to know your Partners friend (It will give you a microcosm idea of who he/she is, and perhaps what kind of family friends y'all will have after marriage).

2. get to know your partners extended family and immediate family.

3. Talk about the future, her/his fear, Ideal family size, your interests and pay very close attention to how they treat others (especially the poor n illiterate)...if you find the way your partner treat others disgusting, correct them and see how they take your correction.YOU CANNOT FAKE HUMBLENESS.this is very important as when married, you guys will come across family members that are either or both..(destitute/illiterate)..But always be willing to politely demand your partner respect others...if he/she is not showing any changes over the course of your courtship, be ready to see it OVER the LIFETIME OF YOUR MARRIAGE.

4. iF your partner always put you FIRST,in anything whatsoever, RETURN the favor because it will carry over in your marriage.

5. This part is very Pivotal. in the course of your courtship, TEST your partner with your money, Occasions , Time , whatever and see how well they manage it..and this includes you LADIES. Yes, TEST your money with your man. it doesnt have to be a huge amount. Ask your partner to remind you of occasions that u may/mayNOT FORGET- it could be a simple," babe i've got this project that needs to be fixed before tuesday, pls remind me to do it by monday"

I did all these things with my LOVELY wife and I sensed her doing some too in the course of our 2 years COURTSHIP..before I come slap her finger with a nice diamond princess-cut ring. The greatest thing to ever happen to me is finding my best friend, my love , the woman that understands me better than myself , the one that encourages me , my better half and the mother of our beautiful daughter.

GUYS CLOSE YOUR EYES MAKE I TELL THESE WOMEN wey dey read my post ONE other small secret
ladies learn how to cook very well and take pride in running your kitchen's day to day activity...I cannot stress this enough ! believe me, if he leaves home to your breakfast, he'll RUSH home for your DINNER! and you will both have plenty of time to bond and plan next day ! I'm saying this because I listen to how my married/dating friends complain about their girl's cooking...and how they like to OVERSTAY at my crib when they visit..just because wifey they execute some " ofe Oha " LOL..Ike is OUT

I agree with the bolded, the rest I am not so sure especially the kitchen part! That's not always possible, especially if both have demanding jobs

@ naijababe, I respect your opinion however, I'm just sharing my two cents and more importantly, whats been working well for my marriage in the area of "kitchen". ON A SERIOUS NOTE AGAIN,I encourage all women no matter how career oriented you are, FIX YOUR MAN HIS MEAL..both myself and partner do have a demanding JOB but she still finds time to fix the family's meal, that My dear, I cherish and even makes me love her more...I return da favor with a goooood massage ! I do cook at times too (but did most cooking when she was preg. or when she's down) but i just like how she takes control of her kitchen, making sure there's always food at home....HE who has ears let them "hears"

How important is the genotype stuff b4 marrying a lady?, I am AS and my girlfriend is AC, and we are not ready to quit d relationship because of this fact. M really confused cos we have a very perfect relationship...n don't wanna loose her. Can we overlook our genes and get married anyway?

harkindele: How important is the genotype stuff b4 marrying a lady?, I am AS and my girlfriend is AC, and we are not ready to quit d relationship because of this fact. M really confused cos we have a very perfect relationship...n don't wanna loose her. Can we overlook our genes and get married anyway?

Try dating a girl that is AD

El Guapo:



Sometimes, asking questions would help in a discourse, dont u think so?

Parents would choose a profession for their kid/ward on the ground that this is the area he/she does well, thereby, the need to direct 'em on that course mounts imperative.

You dont expect a 10yr Old kid to decipher that he/she has got incredible skills on a particular field neither do u expect such child to start having plans panned out on how to be succesful in such field.

Its the parent that does the deciphering, makes the assumed right choice and places the kid on that path, but if it turns out that the kid at getting matured sees the need to delve into another profession citing reasons for such decision, the parents would still have to grant him/her such request.

I dont parade rife views/notions, not even visceral at the slightest thought.

You should give your kids the foundation they need, I.e., giving them a good education. Let them. Hoose their own careers, though you may give them aadvice about life and help them navigate the field of their own choosing. You still possess that Ngerian mentality of choosing your kids' career. Hey you might even choose their life partner for them. Who knows

godello: Now how can one discover the hidden characters? coz this days pretence encapsulates many courtship.

stiiv: now, am even more scared than i use to be.

DarryOsh:
bros, u are not alone. This marriage issue....it seems the more you try to understand, the more you are confused.
God knows if i am gonna make mistakes in my life, it mustnt b in marriage.

Guys, please be encouraged. Do not be moved by the naysayers and the bad testimonies that abound here. If anything, they are unrepresentative, as people only tend to bring problems to this forum.

I know there are lots of heart-rending stories beyond Nairaland too, but visualise, plan and prepare for your own marital bliss. It is really not as difficult as some would have you believe or as risky as others say - if done correctly!

I've written much to this end, feel free to take time to read and understand. There are others with good insight here, and many will willingly give advise. But read wide, beyond this forum. Real life models - across a range of ages, lifestyles etc - are also great. Use all this as a guide (not a template), but more importantly, build your understanding.

I have a truly blissful marriage and there are no downsides. God is truly good.

TV

Pls, what of a situation where someone introduced u to d person who is not currently in d country, u guys talk only on phone, n d plan here is for d person 2 come back n do d necessary things on ur head, hw are u supposed 2 knw d person better since action speaks louder dan words

cool

Ifede chidex: Pls, what of a situation where someone introduced u to d person who is not currently in d country, u guys talk only on phone, n d plan here is for d person 2 come back n do d necessary things on ur head, hw are u supposed 2 knw d person better since action speaks louder dan words

You are kidding right?

Somebody you have never seen is coming to do the 'necessary things on your head'?

Has men finished around your neighbourhood?

Tomorrow you will start crying over NL when you find out there is something wrong with him abi?

Ifede chidex: Pls, what of a situation where someone introduced u to d person who is not currently in d country, u guys talk only on phone, n d plan here is for d person 2 come back n do d necessary things on ur head, hw are u supposed 2 knw d person better since action speaks louder dan words

You are headed for disaster, my dear.

honeric01:

Try dating a girl that is AD

Are u really this dumb? Or u just pretending to be a useless mofo?

^^@cc and when people express and share how happily married they are bad belle go overflow majority of some people's nervous system ,

while some hopeless broke a.śš elenufayas question why NL housewives marriages are so perfect. .....

So it's better to stay mute to encourage hope AND allow all bad news dominate this section. That seem to be the ideal marriage in Nigeria.

I've had my own fair share with their jobless remarks .

I'm happily married to the best thing that has ever happened to me ( well my Dad too) .... My lifestyle is all bout planning ahead. Life's not perfect but we try to move with the plan. May sound robotic but it's sweet.

To each his owns ......but I know one thing for sure, if anybody betrayed your plans , it sure wouldn't make him/ her feel good about him/herself except you married a psycho or you're genuinely facing a life changing Dilemma.

bukatyne:

You are kidding right?

Somebody you have never seen is coming to do the 'necessary things on your head'?

Has men finished around your neighbourhood?

Tomorrow you will start crying over NL when you find out there is something wrong with him abi?

take it easy boo, i only asked a sincere question, n dat does not mean I'm d person with d issue

jidegirl12: ^^@cc and when people express and share how happily married they are bad belle go overflow majority of some people's nervous system ,

while some hopeless broke a.śš elenufayas question why NL housewives marriages are so perfect. .....

So it's better to stay mute to encourage hope AND allow all bad news dominate this section. That seem to be the ideal marriage in Nigeria.

I've had my own fair share with their jobless remarks .

I'm happily married to the best thing that has ever happened to me ( well my Dad too) .... My lifestyle is all bout planning ahead. Life's not perfect but we try to move with the plan. May sound robotic but it's sweet.

To each his owns ......but I know one thing for sure, if anybody betrayed your plans , it sure wouldn't make him/ her feel good about him/herself except you married a psycho or you're genuinely facing a life changing Dilemma.

Hmph!!! Jidegirl, o gbede .

Personally, my life is perfect although it wasn't always so! Let's just say we both figured out early enough what was important and what wasn't! I am often gobsmacked at what leads to arguments and fights when I read this section sometimes

Ifede chidex:

take it easy boo, i only asked a sincere question, n dat does not mean I'm d person with d issue

This is NOT take it easy matter!

It's better to shout now so that there is no divorce in future

harkindele: How important is the genotype stuff b4 marrying a lady?, I am AS and my girlfriend is AC, and we are not ready to quit d relationship because of this fact. M really confused cos we have a very perfect relationship...n don't wanna loose her. Can we overlook our genes and get married anyway?

You cannot just overlook your gene. If you go ahead you are risking the birth of a SC child. Then, you will really wish you never overlooked your gene....

naijababe:

Hmph!!! Jidegirl, o gbede .

Personally, my life is perfect although it wasn't always so! Let's just say we both figured out early enough what was important and what wasn't! I am often gobsmacked at what leads to arguments and fights when I read this section sometimes

Perfect Life For real Nbabe??

that statement smacks idealism .....

Awon Oponu pods fellow !!

Like everybody should be part of their bullshito patchpatch kobokobo lowlifestyle bandwagon

Abali1:
You cannot just overlook your gene. If you go ahead you are risking the birth of a SC child. Then, you will really wish you never overlooked your gene....

Tnx, but is dia any oda way around dis?