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Where foxy dey now?

As I ran, I turned back to see Flow running not from only one person but from 50 people. All the abokis in the area had joined in the pursuit just for some little change I had picked out of the bag of the call-maker. I increased the velocity of my race but discovered Flow catching up with me. My head was definitely pulling me backward. This was the first time I knew my head was an obstacle.

"Attai, tear if not them go tear you"

Flow said as he passed me like Usain Bolt. The recharge card seller was right there her hand outstretched to catch me. She had outrun the other chasers. I still held unto the money because my very life depended on it. Apart from the drinks and weed we had kept in the almost completed building, nothing was on us apart from the money paid to us by Engineer.

"Gbosa!!!"

I heard a huge fall prompting me to look back and see our very own "chioma" rolling on the ground like a sack of potatoes. She had tripped.

"God, if I escape, I promise not to pick pocket again o"

I prayed in my heart as I strove to catch up with Flow. The prayer was more like asking to stop breathing, swimming is to fish as picking pocket is to me.

"Make we stop to dey run, dem don stop to chase us."

Flow slowed down as I said that. Of a truth, they all stopped as their supposed leader crashed like a rickety vehicle and had to help her up. All this I saw by constantly turning behind me.

"O boy, no go kill us like fowl o."

Flow said pushing me on my chest. I smacked his head.

"Na wetin make you run pass me? You wan make na only me them go kill?"

I said to him forming anger.

"Na me send you?"

He asked hissing.

"What are friends for na? Haba, you self no be better friend. Your head suppose follow my own go down na"

I said to him laughing. He just hissed and continued walking. There was no way we could stop and catch our breath in the process. It had to be done walking.

"Flow, na wetin Dumelo say na?"

I asked him after we had settled down in "Kankana Drinking Spot". He drank his favourite Udeme while I settled for Alomo. Beer was not my thing since I was trying to keep fit and rid my body of unnecessary fat that had gathered. Weed burns fat, that at least I knew.

"Him say make we look for somewhere sleep o, say Alhaji give us tomorrow and him tomorrow na tomorrow."

Flow answered much to my disappointment.

"Na where we go sleep na?"

I asked a question that sounded both wise and stupid at the same time.

"Na for mama house we go go sleep"

Flow answered stupidly.

"How you go take know the value of Mama since your own don kpeme tay tay"

I said trying to get back at him.

"No talk about my mama like that"

Flow warned. I knew he was not joking because I sensed the venom in his voice.

"No vex na, what are friends for?"

I stated the obvious. More like a rhetorical question.

*************************************************************************************

"How much be all night?"

I heard Flow asking a commercial sex worker that had called him. We both concluded to go and spend the night in a brothel since it was already late and the girls there would be looking for extra money. The girls don't usually allow all night when the business was still bubbling but the moment 12:00am reaches, they would accept even a token for an all night. This is how homeless boys get a pillow to sleep on at night and since we were both homeless, we decided to do same.

A night which we came to regret!!!

Foxy_Flow: Sorry bout the short update... More to come soon

More from you, or more from me?

Na so na so step on it

Abi those ashewos don theif ur hard earned cash wey u gus steal. Dis is a well written piece.it got me lol welldone to foxy-flow,flow1759 more energy to ur elbow.

Hehehe.........Diz
story kinda mkz senz oo bur FOXY n FLOW...Com ur kinda cnfuizin us hia
oo hu z Attai n hu z foxy no b 1 persn Nd ehn......Kumelo n
Dumelo mk una pick 1 na.Aprt 4rm dat,Thumbz Up.M feelin u gaiz really.

Sleeping thingz!!!

Wait... Where would I start from? When something bad happens to you which is preventable, it could cause a trauma. You might re-live the experience over and over again. That was the same thing that happened to me that night.

''Baby, come to bed!''

She more of ordered than cajoled.

''Ehm... Are you sure this na right idea?''

I code mixed English.

''Are you scared?''

She asked licking her lips in a bit to entice me. Why should I not be when the person before me looked like Dracula without a mask. I thought I was ugly but seeing her I knew the real defination of ugly. Hers have double ''rr''.

''Please stop doing that''

I said to her as she rolled her eyes on me. I felt her eyes were planning to suck my blood.

''I will give you a b'low'job.''

She offered.

''You never see customer since morning?''

I asked. In my heart I screamed:

''Na only God go punish Flow! See wetin him give me while him dey enjoy that yellow sisi''.

I never knew my prayer was already answered. I was busy thinking how to make the dracula in front of me lose interest.

''Hunnnn... Wetin dey smell''

She asked, twitching her very big ugly nose.

''Na mess o, na so I dey mess if I wan do the thing''.

I replied. Her ugliness broke into a smile which instead of making her a little bit beautiful, did the opposite. She was transformed into a zombie right in front of me.

''Na wetin I like be that''

I heard a sound like a cloth being torn forcefully. She had farted.

''Jesus!!!''

I felt my head swoon, I stopped my self from passing out. She could bite me in my unconscious state. The room smelt like a decaying body whose belly was opened.

''Na so me ma dey mess when I dey do the thing''

She replied me, baring her teeth. My already shrunk diicck shrunked the more. My b'alls disappeared.

''Come climb bed now''

She ordered me. This time she jumped up while I tried bailing out of the room. The door was locked!

''I take God beg you, na virgin I be ooo''

I cried, wishing the tears would fall but I was too hardened plus men don't cry.

''Na wetin you pay for I dey offer you so''

She said advancing towards me slowly. I felt like a trapped animal.

''If to say I know say na wetin I pay for, I for run leave my money''

I wished I said that.

''I know, but the money small and see as you big''

I answered. Truly, I was like a dwarf when she stood up. She had muscles on her arms and a chest on her b'reast.

''Na the last time wey I go call you be this''

She threatened. Her voice sounding like a man. I refused to bulge. She just turned, reached under the bed and...

''Splash!!!''

I was bathed in smelly water. Probably she had used to wash her inner cacus plus panties.

''Get outtt''

She screamed while I struggled trying to unbolt the door. I freed myself.

''Thank you Lord! I no go commit adultery again''

I jubilated.

''Na wetin you dey inside dey do since. Abi the enjoyment too sweet?''

I heard a voice and a low laughter in the darkness. I turned to see Flow, a shadow of his former self. His cloth was torn while his face appeared a little bloody. I looked down to see blood on his boxers. He was not putting on his trousers.

''Flow, where your preek!!?''

I screamed.

''E dey o, but that girl wan kill me.''

I was surprised. I thought he said he had degree in Knackiology from the university of straffing.

''You own better. Na oracle you carry give me.''

I replied him.

''Na rape she rape me ooo''

Flow said, his voice sounding teary.

''Na the first time wey dem dey rape me o.''

He added. I was lost for words to console him.

''Make we dey go before them go rape me join''.

I said to Flow leading the way.

''Nobody move''

A voice shouted. We continued walking because only our looks was enough to tell anybody that we were penniless. We reached outside to meet a waiting police pick-up van. Before our instincts could kick-in we were among 25 men being bundled to Nomansland police station. All of our pleas fell on deaf ears.

''If una no get money, una go go court tomorrow''

A police officer screamed at us. I looked at Flow and he shook his head. We sure were going back to prison.

It was a night too many!!!

I will like to apologize for dropping only an update. I was so busy I thought busy day should be made a public holiday.

Flow also travelled and he could not update because of ... NEPA!!!

I promise today will be different.

Good morning y'all...

The "yellow" Lady almost killed me. Infact i died and resurrected.

My d'ick almost tore to pieces, it's muscles was weak. She gave it to me from behind, above, up side down, down side up, vertically, horizontally, diagonally, even alphabetically.

Yes, Alphabetically because while i rammed in and out of her, she moaned; "Aaaaa Beeee Ceeeee Deeee Eeee" and when she got to "F", she changed tempo and moaned; "Flooo" that sounded like my name "Flow".

That was the first time i heard a Lady moaning Alphabetically, she was like: "Flooo Glooo" and i almost responded; "Glo: with Pride" like the Nigerian Network provider would say.



"oga Police oh! Wetin be this na" Attai complained, it reminded me of the song by the Identical twins P-square.

"wetin we do na?" It seemed Attai was prooving stubborn. Why wouldn't he? When he was on his clothes, albeit wet. I wasn't only putting on just boxers, the boxers was stained with blood.

I knew not how the blood came to stain it. Or was it that the p'.rostitute was a Virgin? Impossicant!

"you! wetin stain your boxers? Na blood abi?" A Policeman beamed his torchlight on my boxers.

"no Officer, na water, no be blood" I lied.

"shut up!! Na blood!!" He yelled.


"na blood sir, na blood" I said fidgety.

"wetin carry blood go your boxers?" He asked.

I thought of a befitting lie to say, but found none, so i decided to say the truth.

But on a second thought, i told myself it was best i lied.

Alas! I came up with a lie; "Officer i dey work for where them dey slutter meat, na the meat blood nahim stain my boxers"

"so na this night you dey slutter meat abi?" The Policeman asked.

"yes Officer, i dey night duty" I replied.


"what of your shirt, where e dey?" He queried.

"for my working place we no dey use shirt work, na only boxers we dey use work" I answered.

He turned to Attai and said; "you! why your cloth wet?"


I never knew Attai to be a wonderful lier like me, so i waited to hear what his lie would sound like.


"Officer na..... Officer na...... Officer na....." Attai suddenly turned stammerer.

"waaaaaarrrrr!!" was the sound of nothing else but a horse whip.

As the Policeman landed the horse whip on Attai, he changed from being a stammerer to being a choir master.

"aaaaaaaaalleeey!!" I thought he was singing an "Alellujay" song.

"Ooooofficer!! Oooonfficer!! Oooofficer!!" He changed to singing a Yoruba song.

"talk na!!" The Policeman gave him another "delicious" whip.


"oooooooooohoooly!!" I thought he was singing a worship song. A familiar worship song: "Holy are you Lord, all creation bow to you" I saw him bowed to the Policeman.

"you no wan talk abi? If we free all of them, na only you we no go free" The Policeman stated.

Attai, on hearing that, started talking.

"Officer i go talk oh" He cried.

The Policeman he was talking to paid him no attention, instead, another Policeman landed a stick on his head. His mountain Everest head.

"Officer na Swim oh..........." I thought he wanted to say he swam in a p'.rostitute's c'.unt, and almost drowned.

"you go swim ehnn!!" The Policeman landed the stick on Attai's head again. I really pitied my friend Attai. For the first time in a long while, i saw tears ran down his cheeks.

"i go swim oh, i go swim Officer" He cried.

"na for this night you go swim abi, you be w'itch?" The Officer fired.

"yes sir!!" Attai answered.

"ehenn!! you be w'itch abi? Na your type we dey find, you go smell pepper today"

"no oh Officer i no dey sell pepper oh" He thought the Policeman said he was a pepper seller.

"i no be w'itch oh, i go swim for Bompoi river oh, na me and this my friend go swim" He pointed at me. And like "Peter", i denied him saying; "Officer him dey lie oh, i no know am, i never see am before oh".

"na lie na my friend him be oh"
"Officer na lie oh, i never see this boy before oh" I and Attai started our usually argument.

"shut up!!" the Officer brought the argument to a stop.

Other guys that were arrested with us were questioned just the way we were questioned.

"okay, if all of una want make we let una go make una empty una pocket, and give us wetin dey inside" that was how currupt Nigerian Policemen could be.

Some guys gave the Policemen as little as 200naira and was freed. But I and Attai had no fardin to offer.

"make we give them that Gold wrist watch na" Attai whispered to my ears.

The thought of giving out such expensive Gold wrist watch to the useless Policemen made me almost cried.


"Officer we no get anything, na only this Gold wrist watch me and my friend get to give una" I spoke to a Policeman as Attai brought out the wrist watch.

On hearing "Gold" the Policemen fumbled as they grabbed the wrist watch from Attai. And they instantly freed us.

"i think say you say him no be ur friend?" one of the Policemen asked as we took few steps.


"him be my friend-friend" I replied as we walked into the dark bush.

"

Always flowing

You guys should pls bear with me, my last update had some mis-spelled words. It refused modifying.


STILL FLOWING

flow1759: You guys should pls bear with me, my last update had some mis-spelled words. It refused modifying.


STILL FLOWING

one problem of typing with phone

"But Flow, you mumu o, see as you carry us enter bush for Nomansland"

I said to Flow after we had gone deep into the bush. Nomansland is notorious for ritual killings and dumping of dead bodies in the "Maikwatashi" bush. Several times back then, should a child go missing, one of the sure place to find its body is to take a stroll through Maikwatashi. You might stumble on something that looks like that child's own.

"How I go do abi you want make those Policemen charge us to court again?"

Flow asked.

"E no better make we go jail go chop beans than make some Alhaji put our head inside im cupboard?"

I said the obvious.

"But you be coward o, no wonder you no gree talk when that policeman dey ask you question."

Flow stated but stopped abruptly. The only light source we had was the moon that was up overhead but the surrounding darkness still have this eerie feeling. My skin started to crawl as I listened for what had made Flow stop. Soon a stench hit my nose.

"Hunnnn.... Na wetin be that?"

I asked.

"Na my mess dey sweet you like this? What if I shi't?"

Flow made an irritating statement.

"So na mess make you stand like say you see bad thing. In fact self, I dey come make I sh'it"

I said to Flow pulling my trouser down.

"Make I join you jor"

Flow stated immediately squatting some distance away from the place I had squatted. I was finding it hard to press the rock-solid sh'it that was threatening to tear my a'rs'e out. Flow's shi't maintained a tempo of "putuputu" like a song that had reigned one time. "putuputu no fe, If obama hamma, all the way from kenya to america"... Una know the rest.

"Flow, my nyash don block o, sh'it no gree comot and if I force am, my nyash go tear".

I said between clenched teeth, the breeze of harmattan not helping matters as it dried my anus giving a feeling of cold.

"But you take Alomo na, why the shit still dey stubborn?"

Flow asked refusing to open his mouth. He knew he too was not immune to the stench of his sh'it as it would kill him.

"I tire o, na this time na im igbo dey make sense"

I stated the obvious. Legend have it that whenever you want to take a sh'it and it is proving stubborn, wrap a jumbo size weed, light it, drag it and try again. You will come back having wind blowing inside your stomach as your bowels will be as empty as OJB's account.

We were in that position for long, not because I wanted to keep on being there but because my sh'it had come out and was hanging between my anus and ground. I could not push it out and could not take it back in. I was in a state of innuendo. Flow was relieving the last particle in his bowels.

"Flow, I don die!!! Na me be this?"

I was sweating on my foursquare head.

"See, relax the muscles of your nyash, the sh'it go come out"

Flow advised. An advise that when I tried, it was like a rugged stone was buried halfway in my ar'se.

"E no dey work oooo"

I screamed back at him.

"Push am hard like say you dey for labour at the count of three. 1, 2, 3!!!"

I pushed hard and the stubborn faeces came out with liquid feeling others following. It was like I was in heaven as the burden was taken off my shoulder.

*****************************************************************************

"See that house wey the generator dey on, make we go sleep there"

I advised Flow as we found our way out of the bush into Burma Road.

"No, make we go sleep for church."

He said back.

"Na boxers you wan carry go sleep for God house abi?"

I asked him looking at his blood stained boxers.

"Na true sha. Make we sleep for under the balcony of the house."

Flow answered. We got their, laid down on the hard earth talking of the multiple twists and turns our lives had seen that day as sleep slowly came to steal us away. As soon as I started hearing movement, I stood up and found Flow still sleeping peacefully. I woke him up and off we went to board a bike which took us straight to Works Layout. Our last day as labourers and servants to the illiterate Engineer.



TO BE CONTINUED!!!

I doubt ladies will like this story

keep droping d bomb my two ogas at the top.. infact am enjoying u two xpecially d big boss flow.. nd baba floxy u na dey try wella and na y i choose una two and oga mazi as my mentor... pls go help read my story too A TOUR WITH A GHOST and advice,correct and encourage a new writer... God bless Flow, God bless Floxy-Flow, God bless NL, God bless us all!!!

If ppl shud kip commentn it wl tk d beta part of d pages