Madawaki01: and u knw sAy mynd dey luk 4 xcuse to ban dis moniker

am stil surprise that mynd didn't ban you.

The earth stopped revolving in a minute, I became instantly deaf, dumb became my middle name and crippled hugged me. Her purple bra and pants made my breath run away but her b'reast showing in bras killed me. I died standing. My mind was blank, her image transfix before my eyes. I was only jolted and her image dispersed into thin air when I heard a splash. She had dived into the water.

''This girl na mammy water oo''

I said to myself as I watched her swim expertly for some time. Her losened her stuck to her face like a second skinm giving me the impression that she was an half-caste.

''Why is your mouth open?''

She asked me. I blinked to see her standing in front of me with her towel still on and a rubber band in her hand.

''God punish this wild imagination''

I cussed under my breath. I looked at her face to see her smiling but wondered why. Could it be that she liked me already?

''Sorry, beauty have a way of getting me electrocuted.''

O yes, forget what you are thinking. I am a graduate and have perfect command of English.

''Stop flattering me''

She replied with a smile, her cheeks turning bright pink. Who says Naija girls don't blush. Not to mention she was blushing for me. Attai the ugly one. One man's poison is really another man's favourite.

''How can I flatter you when your beauty in itself is flattering?''

I asked her, closing my eyes a little bit in a bid to look sexy.

''You are not serious''

She replied laughing forgetting she wanted swim and my tying her hair together with a band.

''Please take away everything from me but not my seriousness and this heavenly laughter.''

I did a sad face.

''My God, you are funny!''

She exclaimed.

''What's your name?''

She asked.

''Attai, but my friends call me Attaboy''

I added the last name to sound genuine.

''Gift is my name but most people call me Gifteey''

Another mouth opening session.

''Come of it please, my dad allows freedom of religion here. My mum is a Christian.''

She replied, stressing both ''mum'' and ''Christian''.

''That's beautiful and to be candid, I am adopting Gifteey as a second name.''

I said to her.

''Attai, na wetin you dey do there?''

A devil screamed. I have always known the voice of the devil, it is always there to put an end to my happy moments. Flow stood in a white on white suit. His black shoe was shining and his head glistened under the reflecting flourescent light.

''I dey come''

I turned to the girl.

''Please, can I have your number?''

''Do you have a phone?''

She asked like she knew I was phoneless.

''No, but I have a photographic memory and the gigabite of my brain can't me measured.''

I replied her, standing in expectancy while she weighed my request in her head.

''08169367606'' **for babes only **

She called the number out, it sounded special so I quickly memorised it. I thanked her and quickly made my way to where Flow stood.

''Na wetin you and that girl dey discuss?''

He asked, interest showing on his face.

''Na you we dey discuss o. The girl say smell wan kill her for her room. She gats run come outside.''

I had learned to lie from Flow. The alarm written all over his face was nice to behold. I knew he would be blaiming himself for lack of control.

We came back to the front of the building, I had not asked Flow how he got the new clothes he was putting on, I wanted to see if the treatment given to Flow was going to work for me.

''Attai?''

Someone called my name like a question.

''Yes''

I replied walking towards the person. He lead me into Alhaji's main office. Since I saw Gift, I had been a dead-man walking, the beauty of his main office dug a grave, buried and performed funeral rites for me.

''Attai, please take a seat.''

Alhaji in his unsmiling way pointed to a seat, it was not in front of his marble table, it was on one side of his office. The seat is one of those Japanese types which you squat on with a low table in front of you. I pulled my crocodile, heaven pointing shoe and made my way there. I squatted in the chinese fasfion and waited for Alhaji to join me.

This he did moment later, with his trademark logo. Osama looking beards and an unsmiling face.

"another suspense"

sha come update. . .


™ƺƔcιεмεηт®

''Stay off my daughter''

I was not in the least bit shocked. It was in his house I was busy throwing a fling with his daughter. He has every right to caution me. The shock only came when he used a remote to switch one a TV. I saw my ugly head standing there and behaving like I was the world most finest dude. I thanked my stars that the cam was mute.

''Okay Sir''

No point arguing. I had an agenda which I wanted to fulfil well before thinking of women. That was my thoughts then.

''I love the way you composed yourself''

He said changing channels. I saw the scene of the deal replaying. The two dudes had cameras on them.

''Your friend did the same thing but he got fidgety when a gun was pointed at him.''

He flipped the channel and there was Flow, his face contorted like an earthquake was about to occur and it sure did occur. Volcanic lava flowed from his a'rse.

''The two of you did brilliantly well''

He continued. I kept quiet as it was more reasonable to listen well before saying anything.

''Initially, I was thinking of making you both dealers but there is a change of plan. You are both educated, brave and crafty. You will work with me personally.''

I was wondering deep within my heart where he was driving at.

''You will come with me on every trip that I take, both within Kano, outside Kano, within Nigeria and all over the world.''

Now this was new. I signed in to become a dealer, not some thug or better still bodyguard. Bodyguards die quickly, they use they bodies as human shields to protect their clients when ever a deal goes dirty. I was still young and dying young was way out of my dictionary.

''You see that house you both worked in as labourer?''

I nodded. My voice had been mute since God knows when.

''A flat had been dedicated to you and your friend. It will be furnished with everything you need. You just have to stay here for 3 months to complete a training process. Then you will go to Somalia to complete your training with the rebels.''

That sounded new, I turned my coward ear the other way.

''Accounts had already been opened in your names.''

He said handing over a cheque-book to me. A brand new phone followed with a car key. On it was the logo of Toyota.

''If you continue on this path, you will be known all over the world.''

Alhaji concluded, using his hand to wave me off. I was too overwhelmed to say anything. I stepped out of the office to meet a young man waiting for me.

''Follow me please''

He motioned to me.

''Select whatever you want''

I was in a boutique right inside the house of Alhaji. I took a black tuxedo and the replica of the wrist-watch I had moved. I followed him to another room where my hair was adjusted. In the mirror I looked like the perfect gentle man.

My phone rang.

''Nice choice Attai, the wrist'watch fits you. The police returned at as soon as you gave it to them.''

This was too much to bear. The twists and the turns were all beginning to make less sense to me. The line went dead. Immediatly I dialled Gifteey's number.

''I already have your number. Would talk to you when you fully become incorporated.''

With that the line went dead. My destiny strecthed before me as I stepped out to meet Flow waiting for me.

''Attai, we don hammer''

He tapped me on his shoulder unsmiling. We both had the same thoughts.

''Nothing good comes easily.''





TO BE CONTINUED....

[b]Good morning y'all...

Yesterday was outrightly annoying so I managed just an update. You all know that feeling when you wake up happy and some sadist come to rub off his spirit on you. That was what happened.

It's a new day and I am very happy. Sometimes, in fact, most times, when you don't have a girlfriend to make you think all the time, you become inspired.

A special thanks to Flow for agreeing to do this with me. I started weakly but have garnered strength after each update. To my fans and followers, wait, not fans but FRIENDS, you guys are the reason I am writing. After ''Attai... The Player from Kano'', you've always wanted something. I have tried different things but seemed to find solace in this one. FLOW, na because of you o. Your updates are crucial and inspiring. May God bless you for me.

Madawaki, Seankaycombz, Chistar, Gifteey100, Cavali, Yemi2plus, Sambroose, Damex, Younghakuna, ... See, una many... I am using a phone right now... I will compile your names when I'm on a system. May God bless you all for me.

Mynd_44, thank you for not banning me. We both know how annoying I can be.

And to all my silent followers plus the guests that grace this page thereby increasing my amount of views, you guys are the bomb.

Finally... All thanks to Almighty God for this inspiration, to Etisalat for the free MB, to my boss, for allowing me do Nairaland because he love my poems and proses. Also to Seun Osewa... You gbasky. To Ishilove... To Mimi... To Greyce... To all the wonderful friends in my life... God bless you.


PEACE OUT!!!


Still I FOXZEE ---- 419 [/b]

Kia Attai you be our man............keep it coming

Mynd_44, thank you for not banning me. We both know how annoying I can be.

yemi2plus2: Mynd_44, thank you for not banning me. We both know how annoying I can be.

What's wrong with my statement eh? Lol... This my moniker na peace maker...

Foxy_Flow:

What's wrong with my statement eh? Lol... This my moniker na peace maker...

let's hope so

yemi2plus2:
let's hope so

Stop.. I know...

I wonder wetin make you dey look for trouble now... Well.. My battery is low and I'm gonna update only when I charge the phone...

Foxy_Flow: [b]Good morning y'all...

Yesterday was outrightly annoying so I managed just an update. You all know that feeling when you wake up happy and some sadist come to rub off his spirit on you. That was what happened.

It's a new day and I am very happy. Sometimes, in fact, most times, when you don't have a girlfriend to make you think all the time, you become inspired.

A special thanks to Flow for agreeing to do this with me. I started weakly but have garnered strength after each update. To my fans and followers, wait, not fans but FRIENDS, you guys are the reason I am writing. After ''Attai... The Player from Kano'', you've always wanted something. I have tried different things but seemed to find solace in this one. FLOW, na because of you o. Your updates are crucial and inspiring. May God bless you for me.

Madawaki, Seankaycombz, Chistar, Gifteey100, Cavali, Yemi2plus, Sambroose, Damex, Younghakuna, ... See, una many... I am using a phone right now... I will compile your names when I'm on a system. May God bless you all for me.

Mynd_44, thank you for not banning me. We both know how annoying I can be.

And to all my silent followers plus the guests that grace this page thereby increasing my amount of views, you guys are the bomb.

Finally... All thanks to Almighty God for this inspiration, to Etisalat for the free MB, to my boss, for allowing me do Nairaland because he love my poems and proses. Also to Seun Osewa... You gbasky. To Ishilove... To Mimi... To Greyce... To all the wonderful friends in my life... God bless you.


PEACE OUT!!!


Still I FOXZEE ---- 419 [/b]

Awwwww!! I love this. U are the man.

Don't you think its high time this story hit the Front page?

Lemme update now, am a bit free.

Always nyc

FOXY U NA BABA, FLOW U NA OGA...... I 2 gbadun U both.,..... *BUT AM STILL IN DIS CORNER OBSERVIN AND PUFFING MA WEED*

As we stepped into our Toyota Camry 2.2, i almost cried. The last time i drove a car was in 1999, not to talk of me owning one. Co-owning one rather.

"Attai you sabi drive?" I needed to know.

"no oh, my papa no even get bicycle when him dey alive, com talk of motor" He replied.

"even if your Papa no get motor no mean say you no go learn how to drive"

Of a truth i told him, my Dad couldn't boast of owning a car tyre, yet i learnt how to drive from the streets. The streets thought me practically everything; how to steal, how to lie, how to woo a Lady, how to f'.uck, how to be a gluton, how to smoke, etcetera. I was a first class graduate of the University of Hard knocks, the street was my Lecturer.

"what of you, you sabi drive?" Attai asked.

"i be professional driver na, i dey drive Tipper, Lorry, Ambulance, even Catapillar sef" I exaggerated.

"okay take key drive us go our new house" He handed me the car key.

Since it had been long i drove last, i was a bit jittery initially.

"Flow drive sofre-sofre oh, na night be now oh" Attai advice.

"Attai Forget, no be you go tell me how to drive"

To be sincere to myself, i drove roughly, and i wasn't drunk.

"Flow take am easy oh" Attai advised for the umpteenth time as i overtook a fuel tanker.

I drove in a neck-breaking speed without my seat belt on.

All of a sudden; "gbooooooooor!!" i hit an Infinity jeep. And that was the beginning of troubles that almost lasted till "infinity".

In a sticker pasted behind the jeep was written: "ARMY: Victory is from God alone" and i prayed that same God would save us that night.


"Flow make we drive with speed run" Attai suggested.

"make we go beg am, him jeep no too spoil, na only the light" I said.

The chubby man i guested was an Army Officer already stood holding an Army belt, he was threatening to deal seriously with us. A threat Attai thought was an empty threat.



"Mr Man we don beg you tayah na, wetin you want make we do? No be only your light spoil, our own spoil sef" It seemed Attai never saw the Army belt he held. Or so i thought.

"na who you carry belt for, who you wan flog?" He actually did see the belt, but maybe he thought it was Boyscout belt.

"do you know who i am?" was a question for Attai to answer.

"who are you?" He rather answered with another question.


"i am a Captian in the Nigerian Army, i will deal with both of you" The man said for the records, what never recorded in Attai's dull brain.

At that moment, cold chivers were acrobatically dancing all over my system.

"na because you hold belt for hand nahim make you be Army officer, abeg make we hear word jor" I was wondering what gave Attai such confidence.

"if na like that them dey take be Army Officer, that mean say i for don be General, my friend Flow for be Major General" Attai looked at the already "melting" Flow. I was melting like Ice cube on a sunny day.

"na your papa go be Major General" I almost cursed Attai.

Where luck smiled on the doubting Attai was when a patrol Van parked and two Soldiers came out. As a sharp guy, i brought out the new phone Alhaji bought for me and pretended like someone called me and i was recieving the called. As i did so, i moved few steps away from where Attai stood.

"shun sir!!" the two soldiers greeted the man. That was when it dawned on Attai that trouble would rain on him.

"soldiers! deal with this stubborn grasshopper" The man ordered pointing at Attai. I thank my stars it was just Attai he pointed.

Since they say in Army; "obey the last order", the two soldiers quickly grabbed Attai who took few steps to run.

They beat Attai blue black forgetting i stood there. I thought of running, but thought otherwise, afterall what are friends for.

The extent Attai was beaten was quite appalling, so i took my eyes off.

As i looked away, my eyes caught a dark beautiful Lady came out of the Inifinity jeep.

The Lady looked familiar, or was my eyes failing me already?

I looked keenly, and saw that the lady was Mary. Mary my dear sister, in whom i am well pleased.

"Brother Flow!!" she hugged me. As she did, i noticed she was pregnant. That was when it dawned on me that she might as well be the Captain's wife.

As a good friend i was, i quickly pleaded with my sister to plead with her husband to free Attai.

She did, and the Soldiers stopped beating Attai. By then i saw a brand new Attai, he had two horns.

The Captain who was formerly mad at us started smiling at us all of a sudden. Why wouldn't he smile at us? When his beautiful wife Mary pleaded on our behalf. Mary was the kind of Lady that could make a Catholic Priest r'.ape her. Very very s'exy. I sometimes wished she wasn't my sister, i would had married her.

I chatted with Mary a bit, we exchanged numbers, and she gave me her address in the barracks. I promised to pay her a visit soon.


I practically carried Attai into "our" car, and off we went.

Mhen I love dis foxy and flow u guys are da bomb

Your last update got me rotflmao. A repented silent reader. *wink* I love this story and more butter to yah bread..

''Flow... Flow...''

I called weakly as he zoomed off. He turned to look at me, his face registering pity.

''Attai, how you dey feel?''

He asked an annoying question.

''Trailer don ever jam you before?''

I asked his to which he shook his head.

''Na trailer go kill your useless head. Mumu wey no fit defend him friend''

I cursed. He was expecting so instead of getting angry, he broke into an annoying laughter.

''Na your papa go die like that, ijiot''

He replied.

''Your sister go born goat''

I said to him.

"update too short"


™ƺƔcιεмεηт®

''Na your future wife go born pig''

He answered. I was just too weak to argue, I closed my eyes and rested. My big mouth had brought the whole thing on my head. Minutes later we were in front of our former site. The place had been painted.

''Attai, make we go see our room na''

Flow said.

''E be like you forget say na Alhaji house we go stay''

I said to him. I adjusted the chair and laid down, my body was really painful.

''Owk, e be like na only me go go check''

He said, opening the car and getting out.

Work waited and I was gonna harness it.



TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Foxy_Flow: ''Na your future wife go born pig''

He answered. I was just too weak to argue, I closed my eyes and rested. My big mouth had brought the whole thing on my head. Minutes later we were in front of our former site. The place had been painted.

''Attai, make we go see our room na''

Flow said.

''E be like you forget say na Alhaji house we go stay''

I said to him. I adjusted the chair and laid down, my body was really painful.

''Owk, e be like na only me go go check''

He said, opening the car and getting out.

Work waited and I was gonna harness it.



TO BE CONTINUED!!!

this one na update? Come type long update jor

can't stop laughing......u made mai dea!

yemi2plus2:
this one na update? Come type long update jor

No vex... I no dey right frame...

just call buki: can't stop laughing......u made mai dea!

Fankz for liking it...

Kano tumbin giwa, kodame kazo anfika




Still I Killuminati


Nice stories guy, 2 thumbs up!

Foxy flow,Where are thou..we stil dey wait oo

Errm... I don show... Flow and Foxy, abeg make una delay updates cos I still dey page 2, I wan follow una bumper to bumper...

NB: so.. Flow, ashe kaima kana jin Hausa? Tohh!

killuminati: Errm... I don show... Flow and Foxy, abeg make una delay updates cos I still dey page 2, I wan follow una bumper to bumper...

NB: so.. Flow, ashe kaima kana jin Hausa? Tohh!

Interpret what you wrote as NB?

[quote
author=killuminati]Errm... I don show... Flow and Foxy, abeg make una
delay updates cos I still dey page 2, I wan follow una bumper to
bumper...

NB: so.. Flow, ashe kaima kana jin Hausa? Tohh![/quote]


Ehnehn.......Carry chair n sit dia u hia dnt Do fst n catch up.....Ehn wer ar u gaiz na(Foxy n Flow)

Please update Nairaland's Wole Soyinka and Chinua Achebe.

I Cnt believe dis ooo..... Na jst 10minz I use read all dis story..... Jeezzzz...... Oga flow and foxy cum rescue me wit update abegiii

flow1759:

Interpret what you wrote as NB?

aaw so u no dey hear? Ok.

"Flow kaima kana jin hausa" simply means, "Flow do you too speak/understands Hausa?"

still rock as usual......weldone sir