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3 Days After Our Wedding, My Wife Can't Stop Crying / I Fell Off My Mum's Back And I Am Scared My Man Could Die / I Am Scared To Leave My Fiance Behind For My Studies (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 11:32pm On Sep 01, 2013 |
OP, overhaul everything you have been doing and do no further than you are doing to persuade her, this happens a lot when the wife is not totally in love with the husband, like she had a better sex partner as bf when she was single, if she left another relationship to marry you, then she needs a closure. But then, you can use the jealousy & withdrawal approach to bring her out of her shell. |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by crystalballs: 11:33pm On Sep 01, 2013 |
I can't thank you guys more, I must admit your positive contributions will only spur me to do more. One thing remains that I have vowed never to play away games no matter the challenge marriage brings forth. 6 Likes |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 11:35pm On Sep 01, 2013 |
crystalballs: I can't thank you guys more, I must admit your positive contributions will only spur me to do more. You are gonna hurt yourself a lot by deciding to torture yourself for something that you are obviously the victim. You need to toughen up. |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by souleymon(m): 1:39am On Sep 02, 2013 |
Not an insult, it could be psychological. Was she ever forcefully slept with. Raped 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by swtme(f): 2:37am On Sep 02, 2013 |
This is it,its either ur igwe is very big or because she is pregnant she no longer wants it,it happens 2 most women even me and don't mind ppl that say she is having extra marital affair or she doesn't love u.Pls it happens just be patient 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 2:50am On Sep 02, 2013 |
crystalballs: Am married with Kids, a boy and a girl. She may have been sexually abused in the past and though she loves you,she is reliving the past when you make love to her She is doing it more like a duty to please you not knowing she should also enjoy it Ask her to open up and trust you to help her through it |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 2:55am On Sep 02, 2013 |
Omo_Alata: Please stop blaming yourself for this. This is absolutely not your fault. If your wife is crying during sex then I am leading toward sexuaal trauma. She might have suffered sexuall trauma at some point in her life and she fears sex. Which would explain her reason for avoiding the topic with you. This is a very delicate matter. I think you should sit your wife down and have a serious heart to heart with her. You have to be bold and honest with her. Let her know how her behaviour is making you feel. Let her know the consequences for her behaviour if she continues. If she is very receptive, then I will suggest a counsellor. Please no pastor or imam. Was it always like this when you two were dating or you guys were practicing no sex before marriage? I didn't read you before making my post I think this is exactly what is going on SHe may have been sexually abused maybe by a family member and she is ashamed to admit it and may have kept that secret and carried that heavy burden I don't see any other reason why a woman so is obviously loved by her husband would have this sort of strange attitude towards sex. @ crystal balls you need to approach the subject in a mature,non judgmental way , not when there is tension in the air You may be the person to help her unburden her heart and break that yoke that has bound her 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by DankemzI(m): 3:06am On Sep 02, 2013 |
crystalballs:maybe she's circumcised, i once heard from a Dr. on tv that circumcised female genitals dont enjoy sex 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Abbey2sam(m): 4:31am On Sep 02, 2013 |
crystalballs: You see, i can decide to be selfish and initiate sex when am in need, but this means she would accept even when she is not in the mood... why can't she request since what is good for the goods is good for the gander. Do you mean what's good for the Goose is also good for the gander 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Princesszoe: 4:53am On Sep 02, 2013 |
Billyonaire:And what exactly is your point? That he should commit adultery? Shame to devil. You mean he should defile his marital bed to destroy the glory of his marriage?. The lord rebuke devil. The OP will not do such thing. The mercies of God will not let him fail and he will find solution to his challenges. OP please ignore some comments here. Ignore the comments like: she doesn't love you; blackmail her; cheat on her; involve your parents; you married the wrong woman; or even the comments blaming you for anything. This is your trial time and if you stand this test of time, your marriage will be promoted. You may not understand what i mean until you defeat this. And can you really defeat this challenge? YES, you can. Jidegirl has been wonderful with her advise. Try sticking to her advise or the advises of the post of her likes and you will see that God has really given them the wisdom to help out of your predicament. You must walk out of this victoriously. 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Princesszoe: 4:53am On Sep 02, 2013 |
Billyonaire: |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Princesszoe: 4:54am On Sep 02, 2013 |
Billyonaire:And what exactly is your point? That he should commit adultery? Shame to devil. You mean he should defile his marital bed to destroy the glory of his marriage?. The lord rebuke devil. The OP will not do such thing. The mercies of God will not let him fail and he will find solution to his challenges. OP please ignore some comments here. Ignore the comments like: she doesn't love you; blackmail her; cheat on her; involve your parents; you married the wrong woman; or even the comments blaming you for anything. This is your trial time and if you stand this test of time, your marriage will be promoted. You may not understand what i mean until you defeat this. And can you really defeat this challenge? YES, you can. Jidegirl has been wonderful with her advise. Try sticking to her advise or the advises of the post of her likes and you will see that God has really given them the wisdom to help out of your predicament. Believe this, you must walk out of this victoriously. 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by DEGREE2466(m): 6:53am On Sep 02, 2013 |
Bros this is the few things i think i can suggest to you: 1. How old was ur wife when u married her - reason being that some girls who marry too early dont know what they actually need in a man until they are older 2. Has she dated someone she truely love but did not marry him maybe because of the guys fault or hers 3. Do u know any of her close friend before she got married to you and get a clearer knowledge about ur wife's behaviour from her 4. Is ur wife naturally an introvert or is it only when it comes to discussing ur sex life with her that she becomes silent 5. Can you both watch a pornographic movie together and see whether she can be moved by what she watched 6. If it persist and u think you cant endure it u can talk with ur wife's mum, i think she can also be another helper that will tell you why her daughter behaves that way or what had happened to her daughter in the past. I feel ur pain anyway and i must tell u that u are a patient and God fearing man and i pray ur wife turns to be better because her attitude could lead any man to philander 2 Likes |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 7:33am On Sep 02, 2013 |
maybe its because your balls are made of crystals, sex with hard objects can be quite painfull..........you know? |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Abbott(m): 8:33am On Sep 02, 2013 |
rigormortis: maybe its because your balls are made of crystals, sex with hard objects can be quite painfull..........you know? Loools. Something cheering @ least. Op, it's all good. I'm certain you will pull through and she will come around with all the honourable and sensible perspectives shared here. Enjoy! 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by crystalballs: 8:48am On Sep 02, 2013 |
Tnx guy's. |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by adorable29(f): 9:23am On Sep 02, 2013 |
Princess zoe: And what exactly is your point? That he should commit adultery? Shame to devil. You mean he should defile his marital bed to destroy the glory of his marriage?. The lord rebuke devil. The OP will not do such thing. The mercies of God will not let him fail and he will find solution to his challenges. OP please ignore some comments here. Ignore the comments like: she doesn't love you; blackmail her; cheat on her; involve your parents; you married the wrong woman; or even the comments blaming you for anything. This is your trial time and if you stand this test of time, your marriage will be promoted. You may not understand what i mean until you defeat this. And can you really defeat this challenge? YES, you can. Jidegirl has been wonderful with her advise. Try sticking to her advise or the advises of the post of her likes and you will see that God has really given them the wisdom to help out of your predicament. You must walk out of this victoriously.AMEN! God bless you! Agents dey ds nairaland O! Ironically, mostly d females dat are telling him his wife doesn't l♥√ him. Is sex d only way to show love? Prostituites hav sex wit strangers dey don't love!!! That's propably wat their boyfriends told them while cajolin dem 4 sex!!! They might as well tell him to end d marriage nd abandon his family just 4 sex! SMH! 2 Likes |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 10:02am On Sep 02, 2013 |
And no one thought your wiife might be a lesbian... |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by sylvia78: 10:08am On Sep 02, 2013 |
adorable29: AMEN! God bless you! Agents dey ds nairaland O! Ironically, mostly d females dat are telling him his wife doesn't l♥√ him. Is sex d only way to show love? Prostituites hav sex wit strangers dey don't love!!! That's propably wat their boyfriends told them while cajolin dem 4 sex!!! They might as well tell him to end d marriage nd abandon his family just 4 sex! SMH! Thats the point. I dont think they have any emotional connection. I see no reason why a woman who has three kids for her husband would be crying during lovemaking. Maybe shes feeling like she doing the husband a favour. In this case, with time she might totally withdraw from intimacy. Oh well,hope they sort it out soon. 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Amhappy(f): 11:20am On Sep 02, 2013 |
@ Ops I was like ur wife. I hated 'sex'. For me it was a burden. Sorry ooo i like my sleep and see sex @ night or early morning as deprieving me of it. But i disliked it mainly blc i grew up to view sex as sinful,dirty and a stupid act. When i started dating it was a huge No No. After i lost a guy i loved so much blc of it,I hated sex more. The next guy i tried to date forced me,i lost my virginity and hated sex even more. When i met hubby i told him No sex. He kept to it until after our trad. I hated him for asking for it. During sex i will tell him to stop and he obeys. Sex was painful too,dont know if the pain is real or imaginery. I once visited a doctor for help. Now things are a lot better. I think solution started coming when i changed my mindset and Hubby was really patient. So there is hope for your wifey. God bless you 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Tinkybabe(f): 12:23pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
^^ Your testimony is enlightening. Shows to prove that people's conclusion about she not loving him or being molested could be wrong. OP I would suggest you take on board the reasonable pieces of advice here and discard the silly ones..especially ones saying you should commit adultery. Like many have said, you need to talk to her. Let her know how much pain it's causing you whilst making her realise you care so much for her..even if it means showing her this thread.Be very gentle with her during the discussion...cuz you can't solve a thing unless you know the problem. .and you can't know the problem unless she talks. Wish you the best . 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Chomzy19(f): 12:36pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
I think ur wife was circumcised, that mst be d problem cos even someone dt doesn't love u will nt find d act so painful after 3yrs of knacking to still cry, n after birthing 2 babies at that... Ask her mum n if she ws circumcised den the only hope is to make use of lubcricants to ameliorate d pain cos truly she is never gonna enjoy it or want it... Again if u truly wanna satisfy her I fink u shld give her orals, n focus on pre-intimacy for her own satisfaction then d actual sex for ur satisfaction... Buh dts if its a physical problem(wch doesn't xplain y she won't say anything to u) Then again it cld be a form of punishment ... Lyk she wont give u d satisfaction of fully enjoying it bt she'll mk sure she fufils her marital obligations... Dts a deeply twisted psycological form of revenge, n d crying n silence is thrown into d equation to deepen ur guilt feelings...d question is y will ur wife want to do that to u, did u/her parents force/blackmail her into dt marrg? Or is she punishing u for sth a man smwhere did to her? |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by crystalballs: 1:09pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
Amhappy: @ Ops I was like ur wife. I hated 'sex'. For me it was a burden. Sorry ooo i like my sleep and see sex @ night or early morning as deprieving me of it. But i disliked it mainly blc i grew up to view sex as sinful,dirty and a stupid act. When i started dating it was a huge No No. After i lost a guy i loved so much blc of it,I hated sex more. The next guy i tried to date forced me,i lost my virginity and hated sex even more. When i met hubby i told him No sex. He kept to it until after our trad. I hated him for asking for it. During sex i will tell him to stop and he obeys. Sex was painful too,dont know if the pain is real or imaginery. I once visited a doctor for help. Now things are a lot better. I think solution started coming when i changed my mindset and Hubby was really patient. So there is hope for your wifey. God bless you Touching.. 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 5:47pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by safeLove(f): 9:17pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
Some can read but cannot understand,some understand but cannot read..#singing in my primary school voice# Pray tell my fellow NLers,where did OP write that the wife compalined of pain during sex? Eh? The woman sheds tears during lovemaking with her HUSBAND. To me that more emotional than physical. Learn to read,my people. No wonder we turn the bible teachings upside down. We read something else and comprehend a different thing entirely. Jeezus! 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Daresh(f): 10:29pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
crystalballs: Mr Crystal balls let me tell you what to do. Get a vibrat0r and put in new duracell or energiser batteries.Get lube too and keep it beside the bed. Then put on slow soft music and start kissing her, from head to toe. Dont just do mouth and breast o, do her neck, her arms, her fingers, suck her toes every single bit of her. Then eat her Womanliness with focus on her cl1tor1s. then pull out the vibrator and place it there. Do up and down and up and down and varry the speed. Make sure u apply plenty lube to it. She will scream but this time it wont be from pain. Then focus it on her clit and put it on the highest speed. She must come. When shes done, wipe her off and go to sleep. DO NOT TOUCH HER. If you do she will assume you did it for yourself and not for her. Tomorrow, she will be begging you for more. I'm speaking from experience here, when a woman is pregnant, the vagina does not lubricate. When there is no lubrication, sex is very painful. I had to use lube to make it better. Till now I still use lube sef, cos I sometimes dont lubricate as well as I want to. You can get a vibe and lube from zeevirtualmedia.com. Next day delivery. |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 11:31pm On Sep 02, 2013 |
ok, it is well. |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Nobody: 6:19am On Sep 03, 2013 |
'' one man's meat another.,.. Nawah! |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by crystalballs: 9:10am On Sep 03, 2013 |
prettyrosefave: I really feel your pain as am a woman who is in your position. Interesting....Let those who are yet to marry not get scared. Marriage is interesting even with all the challenges therein, beside you can never know which colour your would have until you in. Am learning even after 4yrs of marriage and am willing to keep my marriage no matter the challenges. 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by Caracta(f): 12:11pm On Sep 03, 2013 |
crystalballs: Say no more...i'm scared already. Yet you guys smile, cuddle, engage in PDAs and make us (#team single) feel jealous? Awwwww, what will I do now? This is serious business! @topic, I have nothing to add. Never give up on her and please be prayerful. It works. You are a good man. 1 Like |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by crystalballs: 2:11pm On Sep 03, 2013 |
Caracta: Good spirit dear. |
Re: Am Scared To Touch My Wife. by baaliyah(m): 6:11pm On Sep 08, 2013 |
Could there be a woman more frigid than my wife? I doubt. Met in school,courted for 10 years.Never initiated sex for once. She never enjoyed sex even seven years in to our marriage but I endured and tried my best. Now she is an expert, initiates and try styles.I bought many books read them together,watch romantic films etc.I also realized I was giving her when she was not ready. Enough has been said here,I believe u will come back to give testimonies. U are lucky there is a forum like this,I handled mine personally and succeeded,I wish u the best. 2 Likes |
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