Kanwulia:
Ask dati una Jesus Christ wetin Judasky do am!

@op, if u ask me, na who I go ask? d matter wey u see so, e tey wey e start... *singing*

I think It's all about pride. Some peeps will insult you if you attempt to help them. That is why I only help peeps that ask or beg for help.

To help dem as in... Shey to help dem find belle ni abi 2 give dem a lift..

Op, sorry for your friend. I have had my own experience of ungrateful women. I dont help women anymore, i rather help men or beggars, i dont know.

Btw, for this same reason, i have decided i will marry a rich working class woman and not the poor wicked leeches i used to think were humble...

E be like say women don run from this thread. Lol

@op i know this is true though i am not sure if this trait is percuilar with females alone.

dabrake:

Can you imagine that
That's why I stopped helping women long time ago. If I must help, you, you must pay me in kind(not just once). Nonsense.

BADOOO

Arosa: @Op, it's human. Not just Nigerian or women.

.

Spot on. Humans are generally ungrateful.

You see it among Naija women because you deal with them in your Naija environment or social circle.

Agreed Naija case is particularly bad.

Number 1 is lucky that the lady is not working in his company. Don't be surprised if she would somehow engineer his sack from that company.

I helped a Naija woman who was like 7 months pregnant when she arrived in Europe. You know some women 7 months pregnant can have small tummy like 5 months pregnancy.

When she delivered I was helping her with the authorities, birth registration, translating for her, being a non-English speaking country.
She later told the authorities that I was responsible for the pregnancy. Just because they put her under pressure to declare who the dad was to ensure he pays child support.

Nna, na so I see oyinbo officials land for my house to interview me.

A woman I just pitied, never knew her before, not my girlfriend. No be small thing o.

danbabe: I wonder what the average age range of people on this site is.

Ask d mods to give u d statistics

Area-Fada:
.

Spot on. Humans are generally ungrateful.

You see it among Naija women because you deal with them in your Naija environment or social circle.

Agreed Naija case is particularly bad.

Number 1 is lucky that the lady is not working in his company. Don't be surprised if she would somehow engineer his sack from that company.

I helped a Naija woman who was like 7 months pregnant when she arrived in Europe. You know some women 7 months pregnant can have small tummy like 5 months pregnancy.

When she delivered I was helping her with the authorities, birth registration, translating for her, being a non-English speaking country.
She later told the authorities that I was responsible for the pregnancy. Just because they put her under pressure to declare who the dad was to ensure he pays child support.

Nna, na so I see oyinbo officials land for my house to interview me.

A woman I just pitied, never knew her before, not my girlfriend. No be something o.

lmao, this is very funny, so what happened to her? Did she get deported?

So these are traits unique to women? I have learned something new today

Area-Fada:
.

Spot on. Humans are generally ungrateful.

You see it among Naija women because you deal with them in your Naija environment or social circle.

Agreed Naija case is particularly bad.

Number 1 is lucky that the lady is not working in his company. Don't be surprised if she would somehow engineer his sack from that company.

I helped a Naija woman who was like 7 months pregnant when she arrived in Europe. You know some women 7 months pregnant can have small tummy like 5 months pregnancy.

When she delivered I was helping her with the authorities, birth registration, translating for her, being a non-English speaking country.
She later told the authorities that I was responsible for the pregnancy. Just because they put her under pressure to declare who the dad was to ensure he pays child support.

Nna, na so I see oyinbo officials land for my house to interview me.

A woman I just pitied, never knew her before, not my girlfriend. No be something o.

Could it be she was in love with you?

bigheart2013: Sorry
to bother good nairalander again with another thread back-to-back.
Please help me solve this puzzle. Why is that each time someone helps
most (not all) Nigeria woman it ends up either in a drama, scandal,
enmity or chaos?

Here are some examples:

1. I opened this thread because a friend helped a Nigerian lady
get a job in a big firm in Nigeria. The lady resumed without even
calling to update him. When the man asked her why, she said she was
grateful but added that God only used my friend to help her, it wasn't
by his own doing. It could have still happened through another person.
My friend was shocked at this type of 'Thank You'
2. A man in USA who used his financial records to file affidavit
of support for her niece in Nig to relocate to USA made news when he
ended up in court and nearly ended up in jail, when the girl turned
around to sue him for not supporting her financially in USA.
3. Some Nigerian men (not all) who trained their wives in school
are regretting it today, after the said wife graduated and either dumped
them or became very unruly when they start working.
4. Some people who opened businesses for their sisters in Nigeria
are regretting it today, as they ended up enemies and insulted.
5. Some who gave gifts to female friends in Nigeria always have
one story of ungratefulness or the other. They complained that generally
most Nigerian ladies have a mindset that they get what they get because
they are attractive women, and generally men are 'mugus' who spend on
women to get something in return.

My Questions:

1. What is the cause of this general feeling of ungratefulness, and how
can we change the mindset of our sisters to start being grateful?
2. What is the best way to give a Nigerian lady a helping hand without
attracting these types of ungratefulness, since some of us either still
have females we are helping or intend to help?
3. How should one react when one's help is either misinterpreted or
treated with ungratefulness, without ending it in drama or enmity?

calm down,women r d most grateful personality,in d whole wrd.

yerima11: I helped my gf secured accomodation while in school and I took some of my furnitures in my room and fix it in there for her. After some time, one fat Igbo guy start sleeping in the room with her and when I confront her, she said the guy is teaching her Anotomy 211 (lol). Later she dumped me and move on with the Igbo guy and the guy also, later dumped her very well. I locked up and loosed her.

Now I am serving, I helped one female corper secure space in a corper's lodge, pay her dues and then lock up totally. She never appreciated it and I pretended as if nothing is has happend btw us.

Women can be so so so ungrateful, because they feel they deserve all good things!

Next time, improve your English and you will not get dumped.

I don't think this is exclusive to Nigerian women, it happens everywhere, people will always be ingrate and greedy especially blacks, Any help you offer to anyone, don't expect anything in return, Expectation always hurt

Xsolutions: Nigerian women most especially the young ones have been trained and engineered to think of themselves more Highly than they ought to...therefore they are unruly and proud with a hardened and seared conscience and that is why many of them don't make great wives

I know also such a woman, selfish, make an advertisment in an newspaper that she is now married that all ther document will have the new name, but 8 month after this she start with her PHD in an other country and there he use her maiden name, what do you think about such a wife because her husband has ony a BSc. degree and he pay her stay in the other country.

iskalamong: (1) THE CAUSE:
The cause is very easy to identify. It's because they have forgotten how needy they were before.
Alot of people fall under this category.
You help them and they forget you and think they are better not because of you. Most people just remember today and forget tomorrow. @ op a very nice and pressing topic.
It's the same with those who are your friends who have a little upliftment in their status or life and they start boning (slang for ignoring especially when you greet them.)

(2) HOW TO AVOID THIS:
There is no sure way of avoiding this behaviour. Although it comes mostly from women, its also done by some men.
The only solution is to avoid helping people with such behaviours (for people who have portrayed such behaviour before. ). Or better still help and expect nothing in return, not even a Thank you. That's just the only way to go about it.


(3) HOW TO REACT
Just ignore and forget.
Assume you did it for God and he (God) will surely reward you.
People are just not trustworthy enough to help them so they can help you later rather help because it's good and nice for you to do so.
Even helping so that you can be helped (not compulsorily by the one who helped you.) can also sometimes be disappointing.

Thanks and God bless you for addressing my questions. I want to keep helping but asked the questions to know how to avoid the pitfall of others. I have a little 26yrs old sister. After the death of our mom, being the last born and only girl, she became the queen of the family. I saw her through university in Nigeria. She's in Canada now doing her masters at almost $36,000 USD. Being the oldest son I sold one house, and going through 'hell' now to pay her tuition in Canada. I just don't want to ever think she will be ungrateful to me one day after this. I haven't even married because of carrying the burden of others. Maybe my expectations from them is high. I just don't want to regret all this one day. This is why I'm asking experienced people for guide. I got some points already. God bless you all.

richoko60: I don't think this is exclusive to Nigerian women, it happens everywhere, people will always be ingrate and greedy especially blacks, Any help you offer to anyone, don't expect anything in return, Expectation always hurt

Hmmm I'd say it's in all human - whichever colour. The same ingrates only come to you when they are in need of something.

Khalessi: If the guys on nairaland are indeed the voice of Nigerian men, I pity our ladies.

No! Pity yourself instead. The OP didn't generalize. So why the fuss?

Can the bashing of naija females stop already?

Its a human thing to be ungrateful, its not exclusive to naija females alone, nonsense.

It is very simple.
It is already a FACT that some people return evil for the help received from you!
It is also established that what you do not think of doesn't affect you.

Now to manage this, when helping others(ladies inclusive), never expect gratitude in return. Do it because u want to impart a life.
With this mentality, inconvenience as a result of "ashes for beauty" would be drastically reduced if not eliminated.

It is a natural something. For more details, ask Sultan.

dabrake:
An indirect manner of begging for cheap 'LIKES'. Forget, we understand.

bet why are you wicked?

This is serious. Now i see why most naija guys always demand for sex before helping a woman out.
I have always known never to help a woman or man unless its something i can also give to a begger without expecting anything in return. The only time i can go out of my comfort zone to help anyone is if its a matter of life and death. He so ever forgets when you help them when they are on their sick bed, have karma to answer to. So guys, dont become mr generous to the point of being broke(although its mostly women who will call you stingy when you refuse to spend, guys on the under hand are more understanding)

bigheart2013:


Thanks and God bless you for addressing my questions. I want to keep helping but asked the questions to know how to avoid the pitfall of others. I have a little 26yrs old sister. After the death of our mom, being the last born and only girl, she became the queen of the family. I saw her through university in Nigeria. She's in Canada now doing her masters at almost $36,000 USD. Being the oldest son I sold one house, and going through 'hell' now to pay her tuition in Canada. I just don't want to ever think she will be ungrateful to me one day after this. I haven't even married because of carrying the burden of others. Maybe my expectations from them is high. I just don't want to regret all this one day. This is why I'm asking experienced people for guide. I got some points already. God bless you all.

bigheart2013:


Thanks and God bless you for addressing my questions. I want to keep helping but asked the questions to know how to avoid the pitfall of others. I have a little 26yrs old sister. After the death of our mom, being the last born and only girl, she became the queen of the family. I saw her through university in Nigeria. She's in Canada now doing her masters at almost $36,000 USD. Being the oldest son I sold one house, and going through 'hell' now to pay her tuition in Canada. I just don't want to ever think she will be ungrateful to me one day after this. I haven't even married because of carrying the burden of others. Maybe my expectations from them is high. I just don't want to regret all this one day. This is why I'm asking experienced people for guide. I got some points already. God bless you all.

Mr, what exactly is your problem? Do you help people just because you want them to worship you after the help rendered? I can't even believe you are already lamenting and whining about helping your own blood sister. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I also don't understand how being ungrateful is now a gender thing. I bet if a non-nigerian came here to generalise about nigerians being ungrateful, many posters would have pounced on him and cursed him for the foolish generalization. Now every BOY has a story to tell about ungrateful nigerian women.

You all need to grown up and learn to see beyond your noses.. Awon a se ni loore loso ti oshi.

On another note, its like some of you Nigerian men will not breathe well or feel good about yourselves until you diss the female folks. Does it in anyway boost you already low esteem? Nonsense.

Khalessi: Can these jobless douchebags on nairaland stop making the Nigerian female look bad!!!! This nonsense points you've just listed ain't exclusive to Nigerians ladies only, people from all over the world do it.

SeunPlus: This same traits is also found in men, and even greater.
It's the ladies that cry the most because of the ungrateful nature of men.

freecocoa:
Can the bashing of naija females
stop already?
Its a human thing to be ungrateful,
its not exclusive to naija females
alone, nonsense.

Why do Ladies like defending themselves with the same thing..

Last last they will use their favourite defense "All Girls are not the same. It must be the girls that you Move around with that are ungrateful"

is dia anyfin like NIGERIAN women y'all crazy or wot?

Nigerian ladies dont think deep. Their brains are under their sleepers.

Nigerian women have learn't to be cynical......its a general misconception in Naija that " nothing goes for nothing"