Gudintent:

Friendship? What kind of a friend demands 10% of your income. He found him a job, whoop dede doo! You don't demand money from someone for doing good, a simple thank you should be well received and if the friend decides to go one step further and offer him a thank you by giving him something then good, but not for the friend to DEMAND! What happens next, another 10% next month and so on!!! Seriously friends like that I personally don't need!

Or he could resign and avoid paying the 10%.
I, personally wouldn't ask for money but, then again, we don't know to what lengths his friend went to to get him the job. If he's so sure of himself, he should just resign and tell his friend to go screw himself. Bloody ingrate.
Gba'do gba'do has come to collect owo agbado.

pickabeau1:

Are u actually advocating kickbacks because he helped his friend with a job,,

I thought u are a religious big wiggie

u sabi wetin be kickback so?

fresh_dude: u sabi wetin be kickback so?

im not sure you do...
So you support the bribe...

This thread was very insightful. Thanks op.

bigheart2013:
Sorry to bother good nairalander again with another thread back-to-back. Please help me solve this puzzle. Why is that each time someone helps most (not all) Nigeria woman it ends up either in a drama, scandal, enmity or chaos?

Here are some examples:

1. I opened this thread because a friend helped a Nigerian lady get a job in a big firm in Nigeria. The lady resumed without even calling to update him. When the man asked her why, she said she was grateful but added that God only used my friend to help her, it wasn't by his own doing. It could have still happened through another person. My friend was shocked at this type of 'Thank You'
2. A man in USA who used his financial records to file affidavit of support for her niece in Nig to relocate to USA made news when he ended up in court and nearly ended up in jail, when the girl turned around to sue him for not supporting her financially in USA.
3. Some Nigerian men (not all) who trained their wives in school are regretting it today, after the said wife graduated and either dumped them or became very unruly when they start working.
4. Some people who opened businesses for their sisters in Nigeria are regretting it today, as they ended up enemies and insulted.
5. Some who gave gifts to female friends in Nigeria always have one story of ungratefulness or the other. They complained that generally most Nigerian ladies have a mindset that they get what they get because they are attractive women, and generally men are 'mugus' who spend on women to get something in return.

My Questions:

1. What is the cause of this general feeling of ungratefulness, and how can we change the mindset of our sisters to start being grateful?
2. What is the best way to give a Nigerian lady a helping hand without attracting these types of ungratefulness, since some of us either still have females we are helping or intend to help?
3. How should one react when one's help is either misinterpreted or treated with ungratefulness, without ending it in drama or enmity?


Update 1, Nov 4, 2013: I wish we don't turn this into bashing of Nigerian women. I asked 3 specific questions to see how we can train the mind of some sisters to see the benefits of being grateful, to teach brothers how to give the right way, and how to handle disappointments when they come. I pray we focus on that to make this thread more constructive.

Always helped somebody to get a job in a "big firm" (Not small firm.)