Night$hift:

You're very correct. Everybody worships money in her family contrary to the way I was brought up. One of her brother's wife openly made this accusation when my wife's family had problems with her family last year. I am beginning to think it runs in their blood but unfortunately, you won't notice it when you are more financially bouyant than them which was the case when I married her.

o42austino: @Op, my bros i understans u to my bone but the truth is that u did not start early to handle her Bleep up and that of her family. My woman use to behave like ur wife, calling her mum and all her family members whenever we hv little misunderstanding. My mother inlaw use to call me to ask Whats going on but one day i told her never to call my fone again and i went as far as Banning their family members not to come to my house again except during child birth that i know that she needs her mum.
Before i took this harsh but useful step she(my wify) use to talk to me as his house boi and she use to shout divorce to my hearing as if she is delivering presidential address or command to me but one day we had exchange of words and she packed her baggs and leave without a word. maybe she thinks that i will hold her back but i did not. I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH THAT I COULD NOT WATCH HER LEAVE BUT I HV TO PRETEND AS IF I DONT CARE. after the event i called my home boi that is living near her parent house to info him and let him tell d developments. later the guy call and told me she is at their family house. to be honest i locked up but was feeling her absence at home but i hv to do what a man had to do. After two montths of not hearing from me their people called with a peace offering.

OP, the bulk of the blame lies with u for giving her a three year leverage which has now become a habit and attitude but all hope is not lost. Am not an advocate of divorce so u will not get that from me but if she ever mentioned that word again force her to the wall to see what happens dont shy away from it. I know ur problem maybe money but dont let her use that as a leverage. She is not the only woman that has money, one of my two my sisters has money more than the husband but she respect and fear the man die that she can't do anything for anybody without the husbands approval and she is building house now in ABJ with the husband full blessing so don't let ur wife get away with her tricks. be the master of the game and stay ahead of her but let her know every munite that u love her. If i can stop my woman so u can.
I opened a thread here called ABUSIVE WOMEN, THE RAISING THREAD IN OUR SOCIETY and chicks tot it was a joke but now is another case of q young dieing in silence and depression of the verball abuse he is suffering in his family. I THINK IS HIGH TIME AN N.G.O IS SET UP TO PROTECT THE RIGHTS OF MEN IN A RELATIONSHIP.

o42austino: @Op, my bros i understans u to my bone but the truth is that u did not start early to handle her Bleep up and that of her family. My woman use to behave like ur wife, calling her mum and all her family members whenever we hv little misunderstanding. My mother inlaw use to call me to ask Whats going on but one day i told her never to call my fone again and i went as far as Banning their family members not to come to my house again except during child birth that i know that she needs her mum.
Before i took this harsh but useful step she(my wify) use to talk to me as his house boi and she use to shout divorce to my hearing as if she is delivering presidential address or command to me but one day we had exchange of words and she packed her baggs and leave without a word. maybe she thinks that i will hold her back but i did not. I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH THAT I COULD NOT WATCH HER LEAVE BUT I HV TO PRETEND AS IF I DONT CARE. after the event i called my home boi that is living near her parent house to info him and let him tell d developments. later the guy call and told me she is at their family house. to be honest i locked up but was feeling her absence at home but i hv to do what a man had to do. After two montths of not hearing from me their people called with a peace offering.

OP, the bulk of the blame lies with u for giving her a three year leverage which has now become a habit and attitude but all hope is not lost. Am not an advocate of divorce so u will not get that from me but if she ever mentioned that word again force her to the wall to see what happens dont shy away from it. I know ur problem maybe money but dont let her use that as a leverage. She is not the only woman that has money, one of my two my sisters has money more than the husband but she respect and fear the man die that she can't do anything for anybody without the husbands approval and she is building house now in ABJ with the husband full blessing so don't let ur wife get away with her tricks. be the master of the game and stay ahead of her but let her know every munite that u love her. If i can stop my woman so u can.
I opened a thread here called ABUSIVE WOMEN, THE RAISING THREAD IN OUR SOCIETY and chicks tot it was a joke but now is another case of q young dieing in silence and depression of the verball abuse he is suffering in his family. I THINK IS HIGH TIME AN N.G.O IS SET UP TO PROTECT THE RIGHTS OF MEN IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Night$hift:

My brother, I don hala, I don shout, I don talk softly, I don preach, I don beg, I don cry(sic), I don kneel down sef. I no know wetin una want make I do again yet she won't give any reason for her actions. Na only to craze remain , and everyday she keeps graduating from one seemingly wicked act to another.
I have examined myself and my only offense in all sincerity is that I am making less money than her at the moment.

joel lala: She is angry and misbehaving just keep quiet and give her time to calm down..once she calms down go and meet her and hold her then tell her you are sorry..forget whether u are right or not just try it, she will start getting confused and having a soft spot for u..she wont even knw what to tell her mom...

Nashville:

Aww, how sweet!

joel lala: She is angry and misbehaving just keep quiet and give her time to calm down..once she calms down go and meet her and hold her then tell her you are sorry..forget whether u are right or not just try it, she will start getting confused and having a soft spot for u..she wont even knw what to tell her mom...

joel lala: She is angry and misbehaving just keep quiet and give her time to calm down..once she calms down go and meet her and hold her then tell her you are sorry..forget whether u are right or not just try it, she will start getting confused and having a soft spot for u..she wont even knw what to tell her mom...

Chillisauce:

*dead on arrival*

wasak: confiscate her phone, destroy her sim card, if she questions u, tell. her u are treating her like a child because She's behaving like a child, let. her know you'll continue treating her like a child until She's mature! what nonsense!

Ujujoan:

The problem with your home is you . . . 100%

A man is supposed to be strong and firm and take charge of his home. Your wife clearly has no atom of respect for you. She and her family see you as someone they can walk all over and get away with it.

Next time she invites an outsider into your home to settle your differences, send her packing. Inform all her 'peace-makers' that the next time they step feet in your home without being invited by you, they will be going home with you wife that day.

If they call you, ignore their calls.

A home where the man is weak is a bound to have issues like these.

Royal Roy:

Mr Joel I don't subscribe to this at all.

Why should he reduce himself to a lap dog? Why can't she on the other hand deflate her ego?

He has tried all his best and yet It didn't work. You want him to loose the last strand of hair on his ballz too?

Nashville:

He has just answered you. It all started three years ago, when the wife started making more money than he was. The truth is that the wife has problems with her background and that is very difficult to change. You cant blame the husband for the wife's background.

On his own family advising him, there is nothing wrong in seeking advise from family members as long as the final decision is his. Nobody is telling him how to run his house, he is only seeking advise because what he is facing is unusual.

I agree with you his wife does not respect him. She seems like someone that only respects money. I can assure you that if the poster gets a $100mm contract today and becomes very rich, she would suddenly become very respectful again. A woman like this is very difficult to manage. As long as she is listening to her family members, there will never be peace.

vanitty: This "minor" argument that you have that makes her call everyone and their mother, could you please tell us a few? Also has she ever suspected you of cheating or insinuated that she does not trust you?

Night$hift:

1. She stopped my mother from visiting and I said that is not right and when she stood her ground, I banned her mother and every member of her family as well and she started screaming blue murder.
2. She said she was taking the children to cathecism class but ended up in a Priest's hostel giving him food and collecting a pair of shoes in return as a gift without my knowldege even though I was in the house when she left and when she returned. I found out by chance while my children were gisting days later and when I asked her, she ignored me and never saw anything wrong in her actions until it became a full-blown argument.
3. She prepared and was set to jet out on pigrimage alone with the help of one of her friends and only told me in passing some few days to her planned departure. Of course, I stopped her and it became a major issue.
4. I asked for complete financial openness on her part when she got her new job like we were both doing before but she bluntly refused just like she's still refusing now.

baby_123:
This financial aspect. What do you bring to the table in terms of money. Do you spend on your family? Or are you one of those men that spend on strangers and girlfriends neglecting your own family. Just so that you can get outside fame? Just asking.

Night$hift:

I earn over half a million monthly and after setting aside the running expenses for the house, I pump the remainder into family investments (i.e. real estates) with her full knowldege. I do this with all passion that I don't even have any personal savings whihc is why I felt so bitter the day I found out she had built without my knowledge.

baby_123:
What responsibility does she have in the home.
She chosses any responsibility freely and at random ranging from getting some foodstuffs, clothes for the kids to contributing to school fees at times

Why do you think she built without your knowledge?
I think she is having a plan B for reasons best known to her. But I have no other wife and no other children except from her

Are her family members comfortable in their own home or is she from a poor background trying to settle the mum
she's from an average home as her mother lives in one of the two flats built by her late father.

Even if you provide all these, can you hand on heart look back and say you have been a good husband and father.
Yes I can confidently say I have been a good husband and father even though no one is 100% perfect

How are you about how she spends her money?
She has refused to make that a topic for discussion on sevaral occasion saying it is "her money"

Do you dictate everything she does or do you give her freedom to accomplish some goals.
I don't dictate anything to her and no matter how I encourage her to be open and bring any issue whatsover for discussion, she always prefers to keep mute and be conversing with her mother and family everytime. Whenever I am with her, she doesn't take their calls so I don't know what they are discussing

Do you both have a common purse for family expenses?
No common purse whatsoever. I just do the best within my ability and leave the rest to God. Even when I tell her I need to go borrow money with interest from individuals to finance family projects sometimes, she pays deaf ears

You should always have savings and she should contribute to taking care of the home too.
That is what I have suggested now which she is resisting threatening divorce insted That is why you guys are partners.

I see already that there is a communication breakdown, maybe you are not easy to talk to and she is not a good listener either.
She doesn't want any discussion at all because her mindset is that everything centres on her moeny. I have engaged her severally using different strategies like taking her out, etc as being suggested here all to no avail

I feel if you both work on your communication skills and understand that it is okay to lose an argument once in a while then things will be better. However no one can ban the others family members and not expect theirs to be banned too.

baby_123:
This financial aspect. What do you bring to the table in terms of money. Do you spend on your family? Or are you one of those men that spend on strangers and girlfriends neglecting your own family. Just so that you can get outside fame? Just asking.

Night$hift:


Thank you