dad007: AHHHH,YOUR OWN DIFF FROM MY OWN OHHH....WHEN EVER MINE IS HIGH(ANGRY)SHE BEGINS TO CLEAN THE HOUSE,OR JUST GO TO BED AND LIE DOWN....UNTIL I GOES TO HER AND EHMMM....YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

o lawd..goes to who?

You are exaggerating the problems in your marriage. Other than this, and the intense anger you both feel toward one another could be best described as two highschool lovers!!!

I would recommend that you approach your wife at night alone in your room and ask her if she is aware of what she has been doing and the way it makes you feel. Express more concern about her and what is going on with her in a non aggressive way, or she will feel as if you are attacking her personally. Tell her you want to understand what is happening and that you wish to tackle this obstacle together....because you lover her...Thats why she's your goddamn wify!

CAUTION: Make sure you are in a defensive position, so as to prevent an incoming slap just incase you are married to a psychopath.


Don't forget to Start off with telling her that you love her...except you are lying m.or..on

Amaaskia: Hahaha OP confess. What did you do to her?

She is not a mad woman to just sit down and get angry like that.

Confess ooooo

This story is weird. Nigerian wives are usually very subdued and they fear divorce greatly so I don't understand how one of them would offend you then turn around to slap you and stop you from taking food from the pot knowing fully well that she is the one in the wrong while you are completely innocent.
Very weird.
Op please come and narrate what exactly caused the misunderstanding between the two of you before she decided to slap you.

Amaaskia:


Hitting her back isn't gonna settle the issue but worsen it.
You're a man, you don't hit a woman- no matter what. What if you hit her and she collapses?
You can't compare the strength of a man to that of a woman!

Instead of slapping her back, ignore her and walk away. That makes you a real man.

Do you know ignoring me is worse than beating me?


Seriously, NL has too many cavemen!

the same goes to the woman. What if you hit HIM and he collapses.
this is the more reason u should not wait to hit back at her.
I BELIEVE AND LIVE BY THE LAW OF MOSES DO ME AND I DO YOU GOD NO GO VEX

kensto: I was having an argument with my wife over an issue which she was at fault. I angryly left the house to cool temper. I later came back and asked for my food ,she ignored me. I went to the kitchen to take my food, opened the pot to take the food. She came from where she was staying walked to the kitchen and closed the pot and then slapped me saying "how dare you touch my pot". I just stood there for some minutes wondering what i would do to her

she slapped you, you stood for some minutes wondering what to do, so during dat few minutes of wondering you quickly brought out your phone, logged in to nairaland to ask us what to do?? Pls sir, are you still standing in her front waiting for our answers??

Please tell me what to do.

oh yes you're still in her front! Brb with my answer

bukatyne:



@OP:

If you are certain that this is all that happened and you have not slapped or done similar before, please WARN her sternly never to try such with you again and mean it. Also tell her that there is nothing like 'her pot' or whatever. You have become one and relate as such

I totally find no fault in this line of reasoning. The warning should be delivered in slow motion. It works for me in different situations.

nna_bu_ike: Additionally, after delivering the 24 lashes with my belt buckle, then using pliers I will slowly tear out pieces of her skin and flesh and make her eat it!!

Beast! Mtchewwww

omo na to speak in tongues@ first den on second attempt I go hold ha hand jst as God did wen Abraham ws 2 kill Isaac [color=#990000][/color]

troy20:
i find your reasoning anoingly amusing.

Hey!!! ...he has not asked him to hit his wife back. Or are u saying he shld brood in hunger? ...what's ur point exactly?

MCKULQ:

the same goes to the woman. What if you hit HIM and he collapses.
this is the more reason u should not wait to hit back at her.
I BELIEVE AND LIVE BY THE LAW OF MOSES DO ME AND I DO YOU GOD NO GO VEX

Shame!

Bros na u be the wife oo. I neva marry. I go post my advise when I marry in 6-7yrs time. Just go cool ya head off sumwhere and wait till then bro.

Chomzy19: Women are IN CHARGE of d kitchen, I hp u don't go struggling for kitchen rights wit ur wife

So they think, until you stop eating their food and start eating out. Then they'll know who's d boss.

D best thing for u to do is to start crying after receiving dt dirty slap, after all u r in pains.

Nothing much... She just av to provide 3cows, 7goats, 5kolanuts,plus 2bottles of shnap..then later she go bab her hair to apeace d gods dats all

@ op enroll in a self-defense class, not only because of your wife but for any future aggressor / attacker.
Learn to defend your self always, it humbles the attacker!

Swiftlee:
eh?

oh yes

Oh blood of god,I swear na backhand i go use service am,she go dey see stars,infact she go see phyno and think say na timaya.

Majority of the comments here on this thread is the reflection of soooooo many marriages out there, no wonder, there're so many abusive marriages.
Na wa o!

Oh blood of god,I swear na backhand i go use service her back,she go dey see stars,infact she go see phyno and think say na timaya.

kolidave: yeah it matters. Cos if he's the one that drops d money for soup and food in the house she won't have the nerve and courage to slap him and call it her pot cos she obviously knows where the money is coming from. And if he's the bread winner like I said she'll give him that respect and wouldn't lay a finger on the sole provider of the house.....

This mentality is wrong.

Is a wife doing her husband any special favor if she is taking care for her family?

Will the husband have the right to abuse the wife if he were the one providing?

ledafaze: My advice...

I am not married.. but in such situations, I have programmed myself not to say anything... but to walk into my library room/corner, take a book and continue reading...

She will calm down.... You need to study her anger level... so as to know how she gets angry... at what level... and how soon she recuperates...

But give her the feeling that you really HATE what she did so she can start begging you....

And DONT deny her anything o!

mr man no excuse for a wife to slap her husband even if she's the bread gainer of the family,unless if she's pregnant and her oestrogen and adrenalin working at another level,just leave i advise dont touch her,if na me she will surely regret her action shaa

alutacontinua:

I disagree with ur last paragraph. If d op were to be a woman, you wld nt include dt part of doing internal check because nothing shld make a man hit a woman.

You wld rather tend towards telling d woman dt dis is just d beginning and she has to get herself out of arm's way before it's too late.

IMO, as a feminist (who blivs in equality), dt's d same tin u shld be telling dis man.


His wife is violent nd might av abusive tendencies, period!

Thank you... The hypocrisy here on NL is too much

At op if what you wrote was what you really did,i have to commend your maturity. One of the problem we have in our present generation is that a lot of people are not ripe for there current position or situation,just because a woman is 30 years of age does'nt mean she is mature for marriage likewise as a guy just because you can impregnate a lady does not mean you are ripe for marriage. marriage is more than just saying i love you "tori torun",or sex.marriage means maturity. The question is if a woman can raise her stupid hand to slap her husband,is she even ripe for marriage? If i am correct i belive our culture still lays emphasis on men been the head of the family and not vice-versa.

No matter the position of the woman either as the bread winner or as the bread eater,it does not warrant any form of rudeness from her in the family. I remember growing up as a kid whenever my elder bros did me sumtin wrong and i told my uncle,even thou my bros will be rebuked but he will never be rebuked when i am there,just in other to protect his maturity over me cos there is a high tendency of me disrespecting as a kid. Likewise is the family a man will always be a man,as a lady never take the role (authority,decisions,glory) of a man in the home no matter your position.
Now back to your question @op,please never let any woman hold you ransom by her actions,just like mynd_44 said

Mynd_44: locate the nearest buka, order for some amala and ogunfe and go somewhere you can be until night or when you are calm and your anger has subsided

. first locate a very good eatry and download beta food for belle then get a good place to lay your head and sleep abegiiii. let her no you can not be held ransom by her actions. If you have kids go home play with them,take them out and have fun,but just ignore your wife "when i mean ignore am not talking about total ignore oooo,greet her good Morin,thats all,how was ur nyt? period natin more,no pecking or anytin of such. don't call her attention to what she did,cos if you do that then she don get ur weak spot be that.JUST IGNORE HER.dont eat her food since its her pot.
Finally sit back and relax........believe me she will come back with tears begging for forgiveness.

Nashville:

I like your advice, but the truth is that it must not happen a second time. If she slaps her husband and offers no apology, then it means she has seen nothing wrong in her actions and it is assumed she will repeat it. So, the man should quickly report to her parents and give her a very very strong warning. This kind of warning involves swearing by Ogun and Sango on how he will retaliate the next time she does it. I will give you an example.

"If you ever try that again, I swear by Ogun (holding an iron rod), that I will give you ten slaps."

If she now tries it again, then na fire for fire o. Violence should not be tolerated at all and must be stopped as soon as it starts.

If she apologised straight after the first time, then no need to report to her parents. The very strong warning should be enough.

I wanted to say next time, he returns fire for fire but I don't want to encourage violence!

Lol at Ogun

@ OP YOU ARE TELLING LIES
LET'S. BE REAL HERE UR LOOKS
FAKE OR IS IT STORY LINE FROM NIJA MOVISE
JUST ASKING O

Op been quiet is d best option. Women can react anyway they deem fit. She will later beg u but my surprise is d food aspect. During fight or anytime u had issues with wife, she will not or will look look for how u will eat food but urs u were slaped. So my advise for u is to check urself and ur attitude toward ur family.

kensto: u know some ladies do think that they are the ones in charge of the kitchen

Almost all women are guilty of this assumption... My mom is among... She once told me a man shouldn't cook in the kitchen when his wife is hale and hearty and not pregnant... Had to jokinly tell her that I will cook with my wife if I had to... I don't blame women for thinking that way...

MCKULQ:

the same goes to the woman. What if you hit HIM and he collapses.
this is the more reason u should not wait to hit back at her.
I BELIEVE AND LIVE BY THE LAW OF MOSES DO ME AND I DO YOU GOD NO GO VEX

Datz a real nigga speaking. Same here bro, i bliv in da law too

bukatyne:

This mentality is wrong.

Is a wife doing her husband any special favor if she is taking care for her family?

Will the husband have the right to abuse the wife if he were the one providing?

. It his wrong for the wife to be d sole provider in a family,very wrong. Its d husbands duty and right to provide and takia of his family. The instance he stops doing that he looses respect both from the wife and people around him. Now I'm not saying he has the right to do so wen he's the one providing buh that respect should be there and the moment the wife disagrees to respect him even wen he's d sole provider then the wife should get ready for watever consequences she mite get from the husband

alutacontinua:

Phew, u're even counting it for me.
I'm sorry if I came across as a mind-reader!

If I lie, oya, tell me, make I know

I really do not have anything to prove to you babe

If you do not like my opinions, jump into the ocean or hug a wet transformer

Even when posters seem to have a 'certain' mindset, I still judge them per posts

For God's sake, please don't quote me if you do not have anything reasonable to say. If you want to gather likes or whatever, find another avenue to do so.

Thanks

One more thing, just ignore her in d middle of d nyte when d thing don hold her tight nd pretend as if e no dey hungry u....like dat she go think properly b4 d next slap... besides na mostly poor men frm nairaland dey receive dis kind insults..

De Beauvoir:

This story is weird. Nigerian wives are usually very subdued and they fear divorce greatly so I don't understand how one of them would offend you then turn around to slap you and stop you from taking food from the pot knowing fully well that she is the one in the wrong while you are completely innocent.
Very weird.
Op please come and narrate what exactly caused the misunderstanding between the two of you before she decided to slap you.

abeg not all Nigerian wives are subdued, I know of a couple when they are about to get married, precisely a day to the wedding, the wife broke a rechargeable lantern on her husband head, yet the man got married to her, now they are divorced, not only men abuse their wives, some women are great abusers