pickabeau1:


I agree with u

She mixed up perverse sex for love unfortunately it was a game she was not ready for

May there have been some incidences of râpe..i think there was

However the affair was mostly consensual just for the fact she was legally a minor

Tragic...I hear she is in the US

I hope she gets therapeutic help

blog: People condemning sugarbelly should realize she is like most domestic violence victims who never leave that relationship because of love, money or kids..

In her case she was in love. According to all the stories on her blog she was raised by a single mom and didn't have a father figure. Her father was never part of her life. Her mom kept boyfriends of which one of them ended up raping her. That alone has messed up that girl. Ask anyone who was raped as a kid, it's either you grow up resenting men or following them about seeking for validation because of low self esteem..

She suffered from the low self esteem after her first rape ordeal and having no father in her life. This alone will make you clingy to everyone you meet wanting them to love you and doing whatever it takes to make them happy

She was a teenager at 17 with a huge crush on the accused. He swayed her with his play boy style and she fell. Seeing she was head over heels over him, he decided to use her to accomplish his fantasy. He went into an intimate relationship with her, making her love him more. He saw how vulnerable she was. She told him she was raped before by her mother's boyfriend. He saw how messed up she was and how she was all over him and decided to play out his cards. Told his friends and family he has a girlfriend who would do anything to please him and then it all set in

He invites her over, have sex with her and records it without her knowledge. Tells her he would love the cousin to sleep with her and she refused. He beats her up and threatens her with the video. She agrees to it. He apologies later and tells her oh this thing you did just makes me love you so much. She wanting a validation from men and her low self esteem decides to continue saying to herself, if I keep doing this for him, he will never leave me. He will love me forever. And it sets in. She is made to go thru kind of satanic positions and things. And she says I'll keep doing it as long as he would not stop loving me.

You might think that alone is foolish of her but ask people who have never had a father figure not as a result of death but abandonment how they fare. Then couple it with been raped as a kid. You would realize she was just a messed up girl. And the abuser knew. He fuckin.g knew and took advantage of it.

When she realized oh this wasn't working she fled from him. At some point still kept contact with him because she loved him. She hopelessly loved him. And could have continued with their hurtful relationship if he continued promising her

She needs help. She needs a good therapist. She needs to be counseled. Because men would keep taking advantage of her. She would never be in a healthy relationship until her self esteem is restored

blog: At 17,whay a child needs is a mother who can put down her feet and say sit down here. But she didn't have that. Neither did she have a father. Hence her curfew 12am. That alone is bad parenting. How would you allow your 17yrs old girl come in so late. She had no one to guide her and we all know of how such kinds turn out. I don't blame her for it all. I blame her mom for letting her stay out so late. I blame her mom for not putting her mind into what her girl child is doing. I blame Mustapha and his friends for taking advantage of her vulnerability. I blame them for toiling with her emotions, abusing her mentally, physically, sexually, psychologically. I took out time to read her blog and saw how she spoke about it from time to time. I saw where she even mentioned there names as far back as 2008. With tweets with her ordeal.
And we wonder why only 18 rape cases have been solved in Nigeria
That because even your fellow ladies would call you a LovePeddler for putting your self in that equation. The world will come up with stories to defend the accused especially when he is a big shot. I fear the world we live in

The whole story is very deep and which side you tilt to would most likely be determined by the depth of information available at your disposal and from whose side it was shared.

I first read the girl's horrific details of how she was abused severally by the guy and his friends and I felt sorry for her. Then I read barcanista's analysis yesterday with all the messages between both parties which showed
sugarbelly was actually the clingy partner and the one who was apologizing for being flirty with his friends....and I was like, com'on, this girl had to be lying. She must have been wayward naturally and was only too willing to do anything to keep the relationship going yet now, she is crying fowl.

Then I read more details (above) of the girl on a certain blog this night and the analysis of whoever provided this indepth information shed more light on why the girl was that clingy and had little or no self-esteem. It's a crazy story and the problem is in several folds, starting from her background, the way she was raised....everything pointing to a faulty foundation. And one question I keep asking, where is the girl's father in all of this? Why was he absent in her life? Or not as prominent in her life as he should be? Whose fault?

When I read stories like this, I ask myself if mothers who stay in unhealthy relationships, trying to make the marriages work at all cost are actually choosing a better option, then when you read some outcomes of staying in these unhealthy relationships, you again wonder why the person didn't leave. Some weeks back, I read a story of how a man's colleagues had continuously abused his 2 young daughters while he was out working cuz he was a single father and would leave the kids with neigbours and co-workers. I remember asking myself the same question -where is the mother in all of this? It's a very complex situation and the consequences of whatever action one takes might continue to manifest several years after one has taken the decision. It's almost like you are doomed if you stay, you are doomed if you leave.

It's just better for one to get it right from the beginning, marry right from the get-go. It saves one a lot of potential future headache.

crackhaus:

I'm sure you thought the bold text made sense...all I can see from it is you quoting verbatim what you obviously heard/read somewhere from someone you think has figured it all out.

The whole essence of God is wrapped around religion.
The moment anyone starts 'connecting with God' and experiencing this no better feeling, ergo, worshipping him, it becomes religion.
You can only connect to God by believing in a religion that has told you he's there to be connected with in the first place.

The bold text made a lot of sense.
You seemingly conclude that it doesn't make sense to say that God has no religion since the belief in God in itself is a religion. If what you say was right, God would believe in God's existence but wouldn't be sure whether God really exists. Does Crackhaus believe that he exists or does Crackhaus know that he exists?

God does not believe in God's existence. God is certain that God exists. So am I. Since religion is based on the belief that God exists , God can't have a religion because he knows instead of believing. So do I.

I think people who are blaming the girl are silly.

I mean, everyone knows the average 17yr old girl lacks the mental capacity to tell right from wrong, to know good from evil, to distinguish between what is moral and what isnt. The average 17yr old girl is a walking zombie and easily manipulated. I mean, just walk up to any 17yrs old girl on the street and whisper sweet words in her ear, telling her you will give her heaven on earth if only she allows you take Unclad pics of her and engage in sex videos; and you'll see them fall like a pack of cards. They are more or less children and cannot fend for themselves.

Its a wonder some parents allow their 17yr old daughters gain admission into the university at all, I mean, whose going to watch out for them there, knowing the amount of evil sexual predators in the outside world and knowing she doesn't have the mental capacity to think for herself? All it takes is for a random guy to walk up to her and tell her he loves her and she's all confused and manipulated and will do anything including engaging in repeated sexual SinParties with him. What a terrible world we live in! These girls ought to be kept under lock and key until they are 18yrs of age when some magical power will bestow upon them the mental acumen to make right decisions and to act responsibly. It happens magically at the age of 18 dontcha know?

Of course none of the good and virtuous women commenting here were disvirgined until they were well past 18years old. I mean, if any of them were, it would mean they were manipulated and raped as well. But that's beside the point. Its not their responsibility. they didnt know what they were doing. Because they were 17 years or less at the time.

I read a little about the Sugabelly case and it looked pretty simple to me. There's no need going down her family history or that of the accused or who was the clingy partner and what not.

If the girl was 17 and truly there was a time the accused forced himself on her probably including his friends/cousins then it's rape...and one involving a minor.

That's how the law would see it.

Only problem is how she is going to prove her case in court should it come to that.

5minsmadness:
I think people who are blaming the girl are silly.

I mean, everyone knows the average 17yr old girl lacks the mental capacity to tell right from wrong, to know good from evil, to distinguish between what is moral and what isnt. The average 17yr old girl is a walking zombie and easily manipulated. I mean, just walk up to any 17yrs old girl on the street and whisper sweet words in her ear, telling her you will give her heaven on earth if only she allows you take Unclad pics of her and engage in sex videos; and you'll see them fall like a pack of cards. They are more or less children and cannot fend for themselves.

Its a wonder some parents allow their 17yr old daughters gain admission into the university at all, I mean, whose going to watch out for them there, knowing the amount of evil sexual predators in the outside world and knowing she doesn't have the mental capacity to think for herself? All it takes is for a random guy to walk up to her and tell her he loves her and she's all confused and manipulated and will do anything including engaging in repeated sexual SinParties with him. What a terrible world we live in! These girls ought to be kept under lock and key until they are 18yrs of age when some magical power will bestow upon them the mental acumen to make right decisions and to act responsibly. It happens magically at the age of 18 dontcha know?

Of course none of the good and virtuous women commenting here were disvirgined until they were well past 18years old. I mean, if any of them were, it would mean they were manipulated and raped as well. But that's beside the point. Its not their responsibility. they didnt know what they were doing. Because they were 17 years or less at the time.

Apart from your not agreeing with all the people calling it rape, what is your take on the situation/scandal?

5minsmadness:
I think people who are blaming the girl are silly.

It's amazing really reading people blaming the girl only. The guy also deserves as much blame, it's not like he can't turn the girl away or mentor her to do something better with her life.

netotse:


Apart from your not agreeing with all the people calling it rape, what is your take on the situation/scandal?

I agree it was statutory rape. It's the law.
I do not agree the girl was forcefully raped. She consented.
I do not agree the girl is blameless. She's seventeen, not brain dead.

@ anonimus - I don't think this case is that simple. Or maybe it's simple depending on what you are focused on and what you really want to achieve.

If it's just the legality of the case one is concerned about and whether the guy should face the law or not, then it's a no brainer, I guess. Having sexual relationship with a girl who is 17 years and 364 days is illegal according to the law and it's a very simple case.

But I am more concerned about the reality of the situation which the law is not concerned about. Firstly, if she had been 18 before these turn of events, would it have made any difference to what the girl was subjected to? If she was 18, would she be passing through these heartaches and emotional trauma she has gone through for years and still going through? Like 5mins said, is there anything magical that would have happened to change the situation if only she were 18?

I guess this is why I am not so keen on pursuing the legality discussion. As her parent, I would be more concerned as to why my daughter turned out that way. Why was she so emotionally unstable? Still stalking a man that had subjected her to such despicable level of abuse years after? Then the issue of her mother's boyfriend raping her even before this whole thing started? Could that be the reason why she suddenly lost herself? For me, I guess, I am more interested in excavating the true reasons why she allowed herself go through those abuses over and over again. It's definitely not poverty cuz at that period, she was was already planning to go and study in the States, and it wasn't that she was unintelligent - she attended Loyola Jesuit, that's about the best secondary school in Naija.

Then again, why didn't she cry out at that time? You were raped, gang banged, punched and yet you kept going back? Why didn't you tell anyone? Didn't she trust her mother enough to confide in her? No sisters, no brothers, no father? No relatives ? No best friends? For someone who is as exposed as that?

Personally, I conclude its failed parenting. Whatever turned her that way is from her faulty foundation.

But good news is that the guy is also beginning to reap the fruits of what he did years ago, I hear he has been dropped from taking over from his father as the governorship candidate and I don't want to believe the reason is not unconnected with this story. Even if he eventually doesn't face the law, he still got served somehow.

Kimoni:






The whole story is very deep and which side you tilt to would most likely be determined by the depth of information available at your disposal and from whose side it was shared.

I first read the girl's horrific details of how she was abused severally by the guy and his friends and I felt sorry for her. Then I read barcanista's analysis yesterday with all the messages between both parties which showed
sugarbelly was actually the clingy partner and the one who was apologizing for being flirty with his friends....and I was like, com'on, this girl had to be lying. She must have been wayward naturally and was only too willing to do anything to keep the relationship going yet now, she is crying fowl.

Then I read more details (above) of the girl on a certain blog this night and the analysis of whoever provided this indepth information shed more light on why the girl was that clingy and had little or no self-esteem. It's a crazy story and the problem is in several folds, starting from her background, the way she was raised....everything pointing to a faulty foundation. And one question I keep asking, where is the girl's father in all of this? Why was he absent in her life? Or not as prominent in her life as he should be? Whose fault?

When I read stories like this, I ask myself if mothers who stay in unhealthy relationships, trying to make the marriages work at all cost are actually choosing a better option, then when you read some outcomes of staying in these unhealthy relationships, you again wonder why the person didn't leave. Some weeks back, I read a story of how a man's colleagues had continuously abused his 2 young daughters while he was out working cuz he was a single father and would leave the kids with neigbours and co-workers. I remember asking myself the same question -where is the mother in all of this? It's a very complex situation and the consequences of whatever action one takes might continue to manifest several years after one has taken the decision. It's almost like you are doomed if you stay, you are doomed if you leave.

It's just better for one to get it right from the beginning, marry right from the get-go. It saves one a lot of potential future headache.

Morning

I agree with what u wrote

Just that I couldn't see a question since u quoted me..

5minsmadness:

I agree it was statutory rape. It's the law.
I do not agree the girl was forcefully raped. She consented.
I do not agree the girl is blameless. She's seventeen, not brain dead.

Does statutory rape even exist in naija? I've been approached by "two ss1 girls" before while standing outside my house! I doubt if they were virgins! Although I'm not a fan of 'under 18's', This sugarbelly girl is like the majority of young naija girls who value money and grooving over anything else this days!

The guy was a governors son, and decided to enjoy the perks that come with it, that girl was on a mission! Just like so many others who are addicted to rich men and their kids! I see chicks like her everyday! Our society as well as most african societies are messed up in this regard(morals etc)! The guy and the girl are both guilty as charged of "RUNS", and these are its consequences!!!

Kimoni:
@ anonimus - I don't think this case is that simple. Or maybe it's simple depending on what you are focused on and what you really want to achieve.

If it's just the legality of the case one is concerned about and whether the guy should face the law or not, then it's a no brainer, I guess. Having sexual relationship with a girl who is 17 years and 364 days is illegal according to the law and it's a very simple case.

Exactly, this is my point.

But I am more concerned about the reality of the situation which the law is not concerned about. Firstly, if she had been 18 before these turn of events, would it have made any difference to what the girl was subjected to? If she was 18, would she be passing through these heartaches and emotional trauma she has gone through for years and still going through? Like 5mins said, is there anything magical that would have happened to change the situation if only she were 18?

Outside of the law we can consider so many other factors but the law has to have a benchmark. In Nigeria there are many youths in their mid twenties who still don't know their left from their right. Countless number of 21-23 year Olds have seen worse treatment than Sugabelly disproving that something magical happens at 18 and the kid suddenly 'grows up'. In the face of the law there has to be a distinct line between minors and adults capable of handling responsibility.

The case of rape on the other hand if proved is punishable by law regardless of the ages involved.

I guess this is why I am not so keen on pursuing the legality discussion. As her parent, I would be more concerned as to why my daughter turned out that way. Why was she so emotionally unstable? Still stalking a man that had subjected her to such despicable level of abuse years after? Then the issue of her mother's boyfriend raping her even before this whole thing started? Could that be the reason why she suddenly lost herself? For me, I guess, I am more interested in excavating the true reasons why she allowed herself go through those abuses over and over again. It's definitely not poverty cuz at that period, she was was already planning to go and study in the States, and it wasn't that she was unintelligent - she attended Loyola Jesuit, that's about the best secondary school in Naija.

A very deep question without a straight forward answer. Kids have been brought up in rich homes and still made a nuisance of themselves while others have been brought up with single/abusive parents and channeled the energy to being better persons.

Then again, why didn't she cry out at that time? You were raped, gang banged, punched and yet you kept going back? Why didn't you tell anyone? Didn't she trust her mother enough to confide in her? No sisters, no brothers, no father? No relatives ? No best friends? For someone who is as exposed as that?

So many people are in abusive relationships and will even go as far as defending the one abusing them. Why they do this beats me but something is definitely wrong somewhere.

Personally, I conclude its failed parenting. Whatever turned her that way is from her faulty foundation.

IMO failed parenting is not the only cause or might even be the least of the causes. Peer pressure for example could be another. Sometimes I ask myself what happens between the innocence of a 2 year old and the waywardness of the same person 18 years later. It's not just the parents, the person might even have the best parents. Other factors come into play.

As a parent you can only put in the best in training your kids but as most people say, 'pikin wey wan spoil go spoil'. This is where, for Christians, we pray for God to take control even as we keep being great parents.

But good news is that the guy is also beginning to reap the fruits of what he did years ago, I hear he has been dropped from taking over from his father as the governorship candidate and I don't want to believe the reason is not unconnected with this story. Even if he eventually doesn't face the law, he still got served somehow.

If APC had tried that they would've gifted PDP more ammo to use against them in court. The guy's image has been tarnished nonetheless.

An0nimus:


It's amazing really reading people blaming the girl only. The guy also deserves as much blame, it's not like he can't turn the girl away or mentor her to do something better with her life.

The babe is getting majority of the flak because she was the one who broke the story sounding holier than Mother Teresa, gleefully taunting a family having lost their patriarch, only for the world to realise she was a happy customer the whole time it lasted and even begged, begged for more. She made it sound like she was imprisoned when in reality it was a mutual wildness they shared. Do you think if she'd been married to this guy we'd have heard a pip? Would it still not have been a relationship started on statutory rapè? Bros, this babe is not out for justice, she came for revenge. Sorry, there are others out there who deserve true sympathy, I can't be wasting mine on a perverse brat.

Timbuktou:


The babe is getting majority ofbthr flak because she was the one who broke the story sounding holier than Mother Teresa, gleefully taunting a family having lost their patriarch, olybforbthe world to realise she was a happy customer the whole time it lasted and even beggeg, begged for more. She made it sound like she was imprisoned when in reality it was a mutual wildness they shared. Do you think if she'd been married to this guy we'd have heard a pip? Would it still not have been a relationship startednon statutory rapè? Bros, this babe is not out for justice, she came for revenge. Sorry, there are others out there who deserve true sympathy, I can't be wasting mine on a perverse brat.

Be nice Tim

Kimoni:

Be nice Tim

Be nice! Because he is saying the bitter truth?

Exactly, this is my point.

If this is her objective, then she has to do more than blogging the issue. She should press charges, at least there is a lot of awareness on this particular case, so she might as well see it to the end. Gathering public sympathy is not enough.

Outside of the law we can consider so many other factors but the law has to have a benchmark. In Nigeria there are many youths in their mid twenties who still don't know their left from their right. Countless number of 21-23 year Olds have seen worse treatment than Sugabelly disproving that something magical happens at 18 and the kid suddenly 'grows up'. In the face of the law there has to be a distinct line between minors and adults capable of handling responsibility.
The case of rape on the other hand if proved is punishable by law regardless of the ages involved

I agree

A very deep question without a straight forward answer. Kids have been brought up in rich homes and still made a nuisance of themselves while others have been brought up with single/abusive parents and channeled the energy to being better persons.

She was raped by her mother's boyfriend at a very early age and the issue was swept under the carpet, she watched her mother have a chain of boyfriends and her curfew in a city like Abuja is 12 midnight; honestly, anonimus, I don't see what else to call this other than failed parenting.

But I consider you point that some were raised in same or even worse circumstance but still turned out okay which is why I would not consider her totally blameless. She needs to reevaluate the whole situation with objectivity and pick out points where could have acted better to avoid some or all of the things she went through. But totally absolving herself of every blame is what I may not readily agree with. There has to be a level of self-responsibility from her side.

IMO failed parenting is not the only cause or might even be the least of the causes. Peer pressure for example could be another. Sometimes I ask myself what happens between the innocence of a 2 year old and the waywardness of the same person 18 years later. It's not just the parents, the person might even have the best parents. Other factors come into play.

I am not sure I read anything indicating that she was under pressure to act the way she acted. It looks more like she needed a man's love and when the guy showed her "true love" initially, she was swept off her feet; and even when the guy's intentions became glaring, she wouldnt let go cuz she felt she would never see anyone who would love her this much ever again. Like there was a wide vacuum in her heart, the guy filled it and she just wasn't ready to let it go despite what she had gone through.

As a parent you can only put in the best in training your kids but as most people say, 'pikin wey wan spoil go spoil'. This is where, for Christians, we pray for God to take control even as we keep being great parents

I have a daughter and if I tell you I am not worried, I would be lying. Problem is knowing the exact steps you will take as a parent to a girl child to prevent your daughter from experiencing this. But like you said, for Christians, prayer definitely comes first. God help us.

If APC had tried that they would've gifted PDP more ammo to use against them in court. The guy's image has been tarnished nonetheless.

lol...a wonderful Xmas gift it would have been.

If the Audu guy is brought to book I would shed no tear. He broke the law, and the only thing keeping him free is the statute of limitations which I believe has expired.

Kimoni, as to why she turned out this way, you can only blame her mothers poor parenting skills. This woman allegedly had numerous boyfriends, probably how she was able to fend for kids, and it's obvious she had no idea what to do in terms of discipline and setting boundaries for her daughter. This is especially clear where the girl claims the mother was well aware of her relationship with th I guy and they even fought about it. Lol. They fought . And then a 17 year old had a 12am curfew. Shege. How the times have changed.

I'm thinking if this is my daughter, I would do all I can to make this dude get his comeuppance, I swear I would, but would that reverse the damage done to my daughter. More importantly, how did my daughter get to that point in her life where she's literally willing to drink from a septic tank to keep a man who obviously doesn't give a hoot whether or not she exists.

What was supposed to be her first line of defence against this cruel world was practically non-existent. Some things are unsalvageable, this is one of them.


PS: Netotse, I couldn't reply you yesterday, but this sums up my thoughts on the matter.

Timbuktou:
If the Audu guy is brought to book I would shed no tear. He broke the law, and the only thing keeping him free is the statute of limitations which I believe has expired.

Kimoni, as to why she turned out this way, you can only blame her mothers poor parenting skills. This woman allegedly had numerous boyfriends, probably how she was able to fend for kids, and it's obvious she had no idea what to do in terms of discipline and setting boundaries for her daughter. This is especially clear where the girl claims the mother was well aware of her relationship with th I guy and they even fought about it. Lol. They fought . And then a 17 year old had a 12am curfew. Shege. How the times have changed.

I'm thinking if this is my daughter, I would do all I can to make this dude get his comeuppance, I swear I would, but would that reverse the damage done to my daughter. More importantly, how did my daughter get to that point in her life where she's literally willing to drink from a septic tank to keep a man who obviously doesn't give a hoot whether or not she exists.

What was supposed to be her first line of defence against this cruel world was practically non-existent. Some things are unsalvageable, this is one of them.

My thots exactly!

Mothers and daughters now fight these days o the days of my mother's "pankere" Jeessu but I was a good girl most of the time though, mostly reserved for my 4 brothers

Kimoni:


My thots exactly!

Mothers and daughters now fight these days o the days of my mother's "pankere" Jeessu but I was a good girl most of the time though, mostly reserved for my 4 brothers

Anyway we slice this thing, the odds were stacked agianst her. I think the worst thing that can happen to anyone is having incompetent parents. Was she the only teenager to go work with that guy? Mind you, she had been sexùally active before meeting him. I personally know a 21 year old with a body count of 12 as at last year and she has a similar upbringing of a dysfunctional home, except in this case her father is extremely abusive. We can talk till we're blue in the face about how dirty Audu is, butbwill that reverse the experiences of Sugabelly, and more importantly, would that deter sexual predators? They will always be among us, it's left for us as parents and society to protect our children.

Timbuktou:
If the Audu guy is brought to book I would shed no tear. He broke the law, and the only thing keeping him free is the statute of limitations which I believe has expired.

Kimoni, as to why she turned out this way, you can only blame her mothers poor parenting skills. This woman allegedly had numerous boyfriends, probably how she was able to fend for kids, and it's obvious she had no idea what to do in terms of discipline and setting boundaries for her daughter. This is especially clear where the girl claims the mother was well aware of her relationship with th I guy and they even fought about it. Lol. They fought . And then a 17 year old had a 12am curfew. Shege. How the times have changed.

I'm thinking if this is my daughter, I would do all I can to make this dude get his comeuppance, I swear I would, but would that reverse the damage done to my daughter. More importantly, how did my daughter get to that point in her life where she's literally willing to drink from a septic tank to keep a man who obviously doesn't give a hoot whether or not she exists.

What was supposed to be her first line of defence against this cruel world was practically non-existent. Some things are unsalvageable, this is one of them.


PS: Netotse, I couldn't reply you yesterday, but this sums up my thoughts on the matter.

Thanks, I'm with you on this, there's no way we can call the girl innocent, she needs to accept some form of responsibility. That said, the major failure I see in this whole affair can be expressed in terms of upbringing, for both parties.

Timbuktou:
If the Audu guy is brought to book I would shed no tear. He BROKE THE LAW, and the only thing keeping him free is the statute of limitations which I believe has expired.

Kimoni, as to why she turned out this way, you can only blame her mothers POOR PARENTING SKILLS. This woman allegedly had numerous boyfriends, probably how she was able to fend for kids, and it's obvious she had no idea what to do in terms of discipline and setting boundaries for her daughter. This is especially clear where the girl claims the mother was well aware of her relationship with th I guy and they even fought about it. Lol. They fought . And then a 17 year old had a 12am curfew. Shege. How the times have changed.

I'm thinking if this is my daughter, I would do all I can to make this dude get his comeuppance, I swear I would, but would that reverse the damage done to my daughter. More importantly, how did my daughter get to that point in her life where she's literally willing to drink from a septic tank to keep a man who obviously doesn't give a hoot whether or not she exists.

What was supposed to be her first line of defence against this cruel world was practically non-existent. Some things are unsalvageable, this is one of them.


PS: Netotse, I couldn't reply you yesterday, but this sums up my thoughts on the matter.

If audu broke the law? What law did senator yerima and his late dad uphold by marrying younger girls? They were never prosecuted mind you! I thought in their religion early marriage is acceptable? Maybe he wanted to wed 'sugarbelly' initially!!!

I'm only trying to point out the fact that this is the NORM in nigeria! I really don't see how this scandal would help change anything! The only thing that needs to change is the psyche of the majority of our women in their attitudes to wealth and status as well as some men! Its not so much about upbringing/parenting skills anymore as opposed to poverty and its underlying issues!

netotse:


That said, the major failure I see in this whole affair can be expressed in terms of upbringing, for both parties.

Oh, definitely. There was no demand on the guys to be responsible. Audu and Sugabelly had too much freedom and they both misused their liberty. And has been said repeatedly in this thread, in a free sexùal economy the female is most vulnerable. But you'll hear nonsense like slut-shaming, blah blah blah. If this Sugabelly had been slutshamed growing up, it's highly unlikely she'd be in this mess today.

Give it up for the liberated worthless sèx toy. Who's got freedom with no responsibility. And she became a firebrand feminist. What a cliché.

5minsmadness:

I agree it was statutory rape. It's the law.
I do not agree the girl was forcefully raped. She consented.
I do not agree the girl is blameless. She's seventeen, not brain dead.

I agree with what you're saying, the babe made decisions, but at the same time, we must not fail to ask why a 25 year old male would feel a 17 year old intern is best suited to quench/sate his sexual desires/curiousities. This was a girl that had finished secondary school (and had not even entered uni) getting involved with a uni graduate(the guy reach to have pg degree sef), in this scenario who owes who the duty of care? I remember how I was at 25, I didn't have a benz but I was confident as heck, a 17 year old coming to look at me with puppy eyes? I will be formatting and resetting her brain like it was a pen drive . Heck even in uni sef, it seemed somehow to be toasting all them jambites when we were in final year the levels of reasoning cannot possibly match.

There has to be something wrong with a mindset that would seek to exploit such a young girl, granted she might have been forming matured and all (I can imagine her saying "I have a 12am curfew" with a flick of her weave ) but anyone with a semblance of responsibility should and would have realized that getting involved with her was off limits.

I think we men need to begin to have conversations with each other on what it means to be a man. We cannot claim the place of authority and then watch people misuse said authority and look the other way. We need to be able to call each others' bluff that way when the feminazis or whatever they're called come there's nothing they can accuse us of that we haven't mentioned ourselves.

Timbuktou:


The babe is getting majority of the flak because she was the one who broke the story sounding holier than Mother Teresa, gleefully taunting a family having lost their patriarch, only for the world to realise she was a happy customer the whole time it lasted and even begged, begged for more. She made it sound like she was imprisoned when in reality it was a mutual wildness they shared. Do you think if she'd been married to this guy we'd have heard a pip? Would it still not have been a relationship started on statutory rapè? Bros, this babe is not out for justice, she came for revenge. Sorry, there are others out there who deserve true sympathy, I can't be wasting mine on a perverse brat.

Lol take it easy.

Regardless of her motive she has told the whole world of their messed up relationship and they both deserve some blame. We cannot fully absolve the man of any wrong doing like the girl had s.ex with herself.

netotse:


I agree with what you're saying, the babe made decisions, but at the same time, we must not fail to ask why a 25 year old male would feel a 17 year old intern is best suited to quench/sate his sexual desires/curiousities. This was a girl that had finished secondary school (and had not even entered uni) getting involved with a uni graduate(the guy reach to have pg degree sef), in this scenario who owes who the duty of care? I remember how I was at 25, I didn't have a benz but I was confident as heck, a 17 year old coming to look at me with puppy eyes? I will be formatting and resetting her brain like it was a pen drive . Heck even in uni sef, it seemed somehow to be toasting all them jambites when we were in final year the levels of reasoning cannot possibly match.

There has to be something wrong with a mindset that would seek to exploit such a young girl, granted she might have been forming matured and all (I can imagine her saying "I have a 12am curfew" with a flick of her weave ) but anyone with a semblance of responsibility should and would have realized that getting involved with her was off limits.

I think we men need to begin to have conversations with each other on what it means to be a man. We cannot claim the place of authority and then watch people misuse said authority and look the other way. We need to be able to call each others' bluff that way when the feminazis or whatever they're called come there's nothing they can accuse us of that we haven't mentioned ourselves.

Sorry for interrupting you guys but I have been reading your (netotse) submissions about this case and I want to say that I have seldom felt so much RESPECT for someone's contributions on NL.

funlord:


If audu broke the law? What law did senator yerima and his late dad uphold by marrying younger girls? They were never prosecuted mind you! I thought in their religion early marriage is acceptable? Maybe he wanted to wed 'sugarbelly' initially!!!

I'm only trying to point out the fact that this is the NORM in nigeria! I really don't see how this scandal would help change anything! The only thing that needs to change is the psyche of the majority of our women in their attitudes to wealth and status as well as some men! Its not so much about upbringing/parenting skills anymore as opposed to poverty and its underlying issues!

Everything is tied to upbringing, believe me. It's a matter of instilling value in our kids. What values do these people have;

Audu- with money you can have anything and do anything without repercussion. Money answereth all things.
Sugabelly- I am a queen who can do as I please. My happiness is all that matters. However I achieve that happiness is irrelevant.

People have always been poor. There have always been famous, powerful men but the society has always looked out for impressionable young women, even though women like her mother would rather have the freedom to do as they pleased. Like Netotse said, it's a matter of collective responsibility. If you think you're training your kids well and would look the other way when some other kid is straying and it doesn't concern you, think again. These other kids will be Gubernatorial candidates and politicians and ministers. What's even scarier, these are the people our children will go to school with and choose to date. By which time it would be too late.

The saying, "it takes a village to raise a child" is no idle platitude. But what do I know, I'm a bush man swinging from tree to tree in the thick African jungle.

An0nimus:


Lol take it easy.

Regardless of her motive she has told the whole world of their messed up relationship and they both deserve some blame. We cannot fully absolve the man of any wrong doing like the girl had s.ex with herself.

Hehehe. Of course, he does deserve his own punishment. I'm just a little peeved when I read about how innocent and naive she was.

Kimoni

I doubt she'll press charges as she has already dragged his name in dirt. If she does, it'll be interesting to watch how she'll prove her case.

Audu can as well sue her for libel

Timbuktou:


Everything is tied to upbringing, believe me. It's a matter of instilling value in our kids. What values do these people have;

Audu- with money you can have anything and do anything without repercussion. Money answereth all things.
Sugabelly- I am a queen who can do as I please. My happiness is all that matters. However I achieve that happiness is irrelevant.

People have always been poor. There have always been famous, powerful men but the society has always looked out for IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG WOMEN, even though women like her mother would rather have the freedom to do as they pleased. Like Netotse said, it's a matter of collective responsibility. If you think you're training your kids well and would look the other way when some other kid is straying and it doesn't concern you, think again. These other kids will be Gubernatorial candidates and politicians and ministers.

The saying, "it takes a village to raise a child" is no idle platitude. But what do I know, I'm a bush man swinging from tree to tree I the thick African jungle.

Noted tarzan!

Aah, impressionable young women! With their doe eyed innocence, clear skin,firm and perky br........erm! Let me pause here! Lol!!!!

netotse:


I agree with what you're saying, the babe made decisions, but at the same time, we must not fail to ask why a 25 year old male would feel a 17 year old intern is best suited to quench/sate his sexual desires/curiousities. This was a girl that had finished secondary school (and had not even entered uni) getting involved with a uni graduate(the guy reach to have pg degree sef), in this scenario who owes who the duty of care?

That's how some corpers misbehave during service year because their students flash them green light. Instead of the ninjas to be better role models smh

@netotse, saw your last post. Nothing to disagree with there.
Timbuktou has said it all for me. I have nothing more to add concerning both parties except :

Moral Upbringing

Moral Upbringing

Moral Upbringing!!!

Yes it matters!

funlord:


Noted tarzan!

Aah, impressionable young women! With their doe eyed innocence, clear skin,firm and perky br........erm! Let me pause here! Lol!!!!

Biko stop o. Spambot dey ban like Customs these days.

funlord:


Noted tarzan!

Aah, impressionable young women! With their doe eyed innocence, clear skin,firm and perky br........erm! Let me pause here! Lol!!!!

My brother you don't know the half of it...wetin we dey suffer for this life ehn...Smh.