Why is there this conflict between the sexes.The guy does not trust the gal and the gal feels the guy is pretending.I grew up among boys,the only gal in a family of 7 and so i've seen thngs,heard some and learnt much.This however puts me a little too much on the defensive.Drives me crazy atimes cause I just want to believe what the new guy is saying without giving it second thought and at the same time,dont want to fall victim of vain talk. You know,bet the best thing is to listen to your inner mind,your head and then your heart follows.

Another thing is when women think just cause a man is a 'born again' that doesnt mean he is a good husband material.

Like its been said, why do men feel they have to fool women into believing they are something they arent.

I totally agree with what the poster said that - when a man starts calling you a pet name after a few days thne he is a phony.

Let me add to the subject matter.

Another mistake girl/Women make in relationship could be

1. Dating/courting for a longtime
2. Which could leads to pre-marital sex and the guy may not be  interest in the girl after disvirgin her
3. Dating someone for a serious relatnship when the person does not even knw his bearing in life.

To Layi:
I believe we all have a tendency to pose (pretend) as a part of our strategy to get whatever we we want. We do that while attending job interviews, we do it while trying to convince a prospective client. Its all part of the art of negotiation.

And mind you, Most ladies only profess to like men who are down-to-earth and don't pretend about who they are. But watch them and see the kind of men they end up falling for; men who lack the kind of quality of your own mind. Men who are only full of talks but no balls.

My take on the issue is this: find that woman you want and do whatever you have to do to win her love. That's the way the world is, Anything but committing a crime.

To all the ladies: Look well before you leap.

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life can so funny,y do fools fal in love anyway?because they did out of plain truht and trust.no form of pretense.u know.basedon my relationship wit some of them,i firmly believe anyone who truly love u 4 whoever u r and hope 2 be ios worhtwhile.4 others,mayb thay r shortsighted to c in2 d future.
some ladies think of a man dat can satisfy present needs n 4get one fact.
dat man true man appreciate in value over time.
i sent a text 2 my ex n later called her.she refused ti pick my call.as a true man of clear mind just hold on to bin urself,in due season the rightful lady will surface.remember,some ladies think of NOW!!!!

cheers

Layi ~ you would be a most precious diamond. Unfortunately, many women when younger would mistake the lump of coal and overlook such a fine man as you. Men - give women time. After they have been let down again and again by the bad boys/playas, they will WANT the man that before they only wanted to be "friends" with. Their loss. I'm a "simple" women, looking for a "simple" man, please do not read into that. I only prefer reality, the kind of man who has staying power, in life. THAT is the one for me. I think when a woman is taken in my a playa/pretender, it's cuz she is pretending too. Naw, not for this chica. Ain't got time for it. Give me a REAL man.

It's amazing reading what people write sometmes. The way I see it is that most people (men and women) are just drawn by what they can't/don't have. And there is this withdrawal syndrome that the more the opposite resists the more you want to have her/him therefore you get technical, wise, and creative which ever  works for you. Talk to any woman or man even on this forum each person would only tell u the good side of them with few exceptions. Those games will eventually stop when we all stop over stating our standard or requirements and start seeing opposite sex as the best until proven otherwise.

It's amazing reading what people write sometmes. The way I see it is that most people (men and women) are just drawn by what they can't/don't have. And there is this withdrawal syndrome that the more the opposite resists the more you want to have her/him therefore you get technical, wise, and creative which ever  works for you. Talk to any woman or man even on this forum each person would only tell u the good side of them with few exceptions. Those games will eventually stop when we all stop over stating our standard or requirements and start seeing opposite sex as the best until proven otherwise.

Men and women will never stop playing games. the initial buzz you get when you are attracted to someone causes so many problems the tiny white lies the I'm the best person acting does not last forever the mask slips eventually,

@Lady T

You sound so experienced, i wonder what you've been through ? Love is truely a delicate thing. They used to say the first impression lasts longer, not anymore. These days it seems like the first impression between men and women last until they leave the bedroom.

BTW, why are you still up so late? i thought you guys are in early mornings over there.

I have a strategy that works for me when picking guys. it has never failed me or let me down.I tend to avoid the loud, empty barrels as they have nothing to offer. The braggarts and ego inflated ones were also a no go area. The name droppers and brand name lovers got on my last nerves. **sigh** Thank Goodness my dating days are over.
When my single friends come crying with man trouble , i dont even know where to start advicing. their picks were bad from the get go.

Well, to each his or her own. You get what you bargain for--ALWAYS!


_{Reading "The Parable of the Sower" in preparation for "Sunday Massss"!}

you really reap what you sow.
between the nerds and the popular jingos lie a vast untapped stata of correct guys. that's where 'spoilt' often went fishing. those guys are good looking, successful and a maybe just a teeny wee bit nerdy. They are perfect boyfriend/husband material. come without all the annoying drama too.

@vexx!! handsomeness should be seeing within not without that where you all miss it in life. you see a guy looking so choppy!!! to you he is the guy!!!! what if the guy is an animal in human clothing? tomorrow now, you will all say men are this!!! men are that

WOMAN ARE TOO MATERIALISTIC. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. THEY WILL NOT WANT TO BE WITH A BROKE MAN WHO LOVES THEM BUT WILL CHOSE SOMEBODY BECAUSE OF MONEY.


WOMEN DO NO CARE ABOUT LOOKS IF THE MAN HAS MONEY. JUST THE THOUGHT OF THE MONEY WILL AROUSE THEM SEXUALLY.

Na them sabi? Girl no dey think well. And the ones wey dey lucky to jam the good guy no dey last too becos of envy by their friends.

Abeg NL How do i post a topic on this site? Help a broda out!

NeroPapas:

Na them sabi? Girl no dey think well. And the ones wey dey lucky to jam the good guy no dey last too becos of envy by their friends.

Abeg NL How do i post a topic on this site? Help a broda out!

click this link:  https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/board-21.0.html  then click "new topic" at the top of the page on the right side.

I think we all just got to be realistic in our daily endeavours, be it dating, relationship, business or there about. Lets face the truth and stop daydreaming. Consequently, people will love us for who we are.

The fact abt this is,who really can predict what will happen?some people have lived their life in a minute,moment.another question is ,is it only the woman that makes the wrong choice? deal with what your choice metamorphosis to cos you will grow old and will not be able to chew a gum again.

@great22,
u got it RIGHT here:men are in sizes.I do not agree with those that says here they do not know what they may be doing initially when love struck.If you cant see at the initial stage,there is every tendency that by the time you open your eyes,you may have slept too much and as such made some senseless mistakes.There are still tonnes of REAL guys out there but take this from me:"LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE", So you young woman,who do you attract?

honest opinion, some ladies are soooooo desperate to be with a guy that guys are really having a feild day with the chics.
like ''poster'' said, they pay attention to very ''petty'' stuff. but i think a lady's particular state of being, or presence of mind depends on what she seeks from a guy.
And guys being predators, know exactly what these ladies want and hit target.
Most people will argue with this point, but ladies are at a loosing end. so they must be extra sharp,

Most women want an handsome/good looking, rich (don't want to know his source of money) and other things like that.

Men tends to claim what they are not in order for they girl to fall for them.

So before she finds out, its too late.

relationships are difficult,we think we know wot we want and hope to find someone that sweeps us off our feet but that happens on TV.

of course, it is not a sin for women to want someone that can cater for her needs and by extension, the kids but some usually go over the top.
i guess been realistic might help.

I cannot agree with Viktor more. Most of them women aint looking for a good guy, they're looking for sponsors! I heard of someone who said "hell ya, I know he's ugly but he pays my bills"
When are they going to learn that these things fade off. I for one get tired/bored of things easily, unfortunately it's beginning to affect my relationship with people. I also get bored with people easily these days.
Girls should learn to look out for good qualities in men not the size/contents of their wallets.

Most ladies don't really know what they want. They'll tell you they want a honest, caring, God fearing, handsome, Intelligent and all the other good qualities kind of guy, but give them that kind of guy and they'll dump him for a bad guy. And then when you ask them why they'll say something like "you know, the kind is fine, caring and all that but i love him like a brother, let's just be friends" or "i just prefer this other guy".

One other thing i've noticed with most gals is that they're mostly influenced by their peer groups. Once their friends start hailing any guy and saying good things about him, they'll all want to be with him (That is why the fastest way to lose your boy friend to your friends is to start jisting them about his good qualities esp. how good he is in bed). But if the friends don't like you, sorry for you cos you'll have extra job to do on your woman in order to keep her. By then she'll think she's just managing you. This is common among younger women though.

spoilt:

I have a strategy that works for me when picking guys. it has never failed me or let me down.I tend to avoid the loud, empty barrels as they have nothing to offer. The braggarts and ego inflated ones were also a no go area. The name droppers and brand name lovers got on my last nerves. **sigh** Thank Goodness my dating days are over.
When my single friends come crying with man trouble , i dont even know where to start advicing. their picks were bad from the get go.

                                                                                                                                                                           THEIR PICKS WERE BAD FROM THE GET GO;----this's where d problem is.wrong choice and wrong decision .

For Naija Babe them like fine boy without money and them also like rich guy without no character beat her up Bleep her and useless her.that the result we get from naija ladies. We are tired so we don change rope to Accra Ghana to find material becos Naija girl them go kill you. Have you ever Wonder why they are not featuring Nigerians girl in Nigeria Music? Home work. foot stop.

Like attracts like just like ofala rightly said.