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AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) - Literature (13) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) (31929 Views)

"Nwa Aba Na City" (a Pidgin Story) / As E Dey Happen (pidgin Tory Wey Sweet Wella) / Man Wey Dey Reason (2) (3) (4)

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Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by DONMAYOR19(m): 8:09am On Aug 08, 2014
stormybucci: which thing??
read our comment from nxt page u will get my msg.....how ur night bro?
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by tenajtek(f): 8:13am On Aug 08, 2014
[color=#006600][/color]
Gd money &d health all. How i wish say na dis kain script Mr Ibu dey act. #justsaying #wa1aka1a pa1asasa
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Heymus(m): 8:54am On Aug 08, 2014
DONMAYOR19: Timothy3113 u should said, don't be deceive with the (f) sign o, na only me dey get the original pagelady.
abeg oo oga mayor, i no dey drag woman with you oo, make e no com b like chiboy and Goke. Abeg me i no fit fight ooo.
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by stormybucci(m): 8:58am On Aug 08, 2014
DONMAYOR19: read our comment from nxt page u will get my msg.....how ur night bro?
my nyt was bitter sweet(don't ask me how). Did u hear abt d bathing with salt nd water nd drinking of salt nd water as ebola permanent prevention(i jst do myn nw nw. I never wan die)
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by DONMAYOR19(m): 10:43am On Aug 08, 2014
stormybucci: my nyt was bitter sweet(don't ask me how). Did u hear abt d bathing with salt nd water nd drinking of salt nd water as ebola permanent prevention(i jst do myn nw nw. I never wan die)
everywhere I go, I go dey carry salt water along, any contact I use the salt water to rinse the place....me no want wahala o.
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by DONMAYOR19(m): 10:44am On Aug 08, 2014
Heymus: abeg oo oga mayor, i no dey drag woman with you oo, make e no com b like chiboy and Goke. Abeg me i no fit fight ooo.
grin grin grin
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by VigorousV(f): 10:45am On Aug 08, 2014
Sammy,wer art thou?
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by VigorousV(f): 10:47am On Aug 08, 2014
Wer ar d old ebiagers?did der travel cuz d ppl am seeing here ar new 2 me

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Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 11:24am On Aug 08, 2014
VigorousV: Wer ar d old ebiagers?did der travel cuz d ppl am seeing here ar new 2 me

It's true... they're on holiday. How was your nite?
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by VigorousV(f): 12:48pm On Aug 08, 2014
SammyHoe:

It's true... they're on holiday. How was your nite?
twas gr8 nd urz?
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Timothy3113(m): 2:00pm On Aug 08, 2014
We the old ebigites are around o
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by edogho(m): 3:00pm On Aug 08, 2014
stormybucci: wetin happen?? abi u don die?? ***weeping profusely***
now i know ur mind. chai, u hate me dat much? then me, u, donmayor19 and all nairalanders na ghost and nairaland na d great beyondgrin .make i go eat jor.
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by DONMAYOR19(m): 3:53pm On Aug 08, 2014
edogho: now i know ur mind. chai, u hate me dat much? then me, u, donmayor19 and all nairalanders na ghost and nairaland na d great beyondgrin .make i go eat jor.
put enough hot water plus plenty salt for ur soup o, don't want to hear story o
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by stormybucci(m): 4:04pm On Aug 08, 2014
DONMAYOR19: everywhere I go, I go dey carry salt water along, any contact I use the salt water to rinse the place....me no want wahala o.
lmfao!!! take am easy ooo
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by stormybucci(m): 4:07pm On Aug 08, 2014
edogho: now i know ur mind. chai, u hate me dat much? then me, u, donmayor19 and all nairalanders na ghost and nairaland na d great beyondgrin .make i go eat jor.
see ur mouth... u no invite me cum chop abi?? i don vex sef... Dat food no go digest
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by edogho(m): 4:43pm On Aug 08, 2014
stormybucci: see ur mouth... u no invite me cum chop abi?? i don vex sef... Dat food no go digest
I think say u say i be ghost abi no be u dey cry beforegrin
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by edogho(m): 4:49pm On Aug 08, 2014
DONMAYOR19: put enough hot water plus plenty salt for ur soup o, don't want to hear story o
dat go only cure constipation. jus know say i dey immune.
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by stormybucci(m): 6:04pm On Aug 08, 2014
edogho: I think say u say i be ghost abi no be u dey cry beforegrin
i was weeping 4 u cus i thought u were gone
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 6:44am On Aug 09, 2014
Una gud morning o. Update in progress!!
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Timothy3113(m): 6:58am On Aug 09, 2014
Sammy Hoe: Una gud morning o. Update in progress!!
waiting
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 8:11am On Aug 09, 2014
Timothy3113: waiting

Food is ready
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 8:13am On Aug 09, 2014
Tory continues

[b]January 2
6am-1pm

I do as if I never wake up. E remain small space under my eyelids mey I dey take see Goke small small. I begin hear when Goke dey tol with the other person wey dey inside the danfo. Na yoloba den dey tok but me understand them wella because me sef don sabi yoloba die. Infact, me go fit become another Sunny Tee Amama, Omo Nna wey dey sing Fuji. I pity the guy sha, because hin just die e never tay.

"Ki lo sope o se boy yi gan naa?" den dey ask Goke say wetin really do me sef.

"Sebi mo ti so fun yin tele egbon; o muti yo ni se e. Mo de mo o ri. Chiboy la n pe ladugbo nah," Goke reply am say na drink I drink kon collapse for road, so hin kon offer say mey hin carry me reach house. As Goke mention my name for the two people, den shout together 'Chiboy?'

The voices resemble Sule and Omo Iko voices. I raise my head quick salute them.

"Sule! Omo Iko! Long time!" I tok.

"Na Chiboy o, Omo!" Sule shout.

"Chiboy? When Chiboy kon begin drunkard nah?" Omo Iko tok for steering.

"Na lie this guy dey lie o!" I point Goke. "Na blow the guy give me o. Hin wan kill me na hin I faint. I no drink beer o!"

"En hen!" Sule tok! "So Mr Man, o fe lo fiyan s'ogun owo abi? O keran leni," Sule accuse Goke say hin wan go use me do money ritual.

Goke begin look for how hin go take escape. The only way wey hin fit take escape na to pass the door wey dey sule side comot, but Sule no go allow am.

"Oya nah, mey we turn dey go Mushin straight! Olorun, this one don enter gobe today. Awon boys go finish am, once," Omo iko use hin thug voice tok.

"Chiboy, make you dey thank your star o. Na fresh meat you for be because e sure me say na money ritual the guy wan go use you do for Ajegunle where hin tok say hin dey go."

Goke begin shake. Now na me dey get upper hand. I check my pocket, both my phone and Goke phone wey I take no dey inside again.

"The guy don carry my phone sha!" I shout. I give am one punch. "Give me the phones wey you take now now if you no wan kpai!" I stretch my hand for hin front.

"Phone?" Goke dey ask like person wey get amnesia. Omo Iko no fit bear am again. Hin dey slow down make hin park for road make hin fit come down so we go fit beat Goke wella throway ram beside road.

"En hen!" I tok "Give me the thing if..."

Goke rush punch Sule for chest. Sule faint immediately. Goke jump comot for inside bus one time. Chai! The guy don escape.

"Ha!" Omo Iko shout. "Na juju ring the guy take knack Sule o!" Omo Iko tok with shock. Both of us stay there dey look. We begin blow breeze for Sule head mey he take wake up.

So Goke get juju ring for hand. No wonder wey I faint that time when e knack me blow too. Haa! Now na Goke win the fight o. I no go gree sha. Goke no go fit win this fight.
Uuu
I later reach my house when I leave Sule and Omo Iko place. That time Sule don wake up. Sule even dey swear with hin life say hin must treat Goke fvck up. Hin must find am enter rat holen.

I go my shop around that kind 10am. I just dey watch people dey shout happy new year up and down. Their own new year no dey finish? This yoloba people sef. Nna!

Wetin surprise me be say Emeka no show up till 12pm. I go find am for house. Den tok say hin no dey. Ha! Wetin happen to Emeka nah? The last time wey we tok na that time wey the guy dey tok to me for phone say hin wan kon meet me for Ojodu street wey me and Goke dey fight. Abi which kine thing be this nah? Abi police don catch am for there or what? I begin panic.

E be like say I sabi Emeka number nah. Mey I go look for phone call am o. Chai! Goke don go with my phone. I dey think say how I go fit see phone call Emeka. This wan wey be say phone call center no dey plenty again like when be say na fifty fifty kobo gain dey dey ontop am.

One girl begin catwalk come my shop. I rub my eyes wella. Who be this fine girl? My eyes dey cloudy. The girl don approach me wella before I realise say na Carol, that guy wey hin aunty dey suffer ram.

"Mtcheew!" I hiss. This girl wey no go secondary school. The girl don dey smack hin lips from far. I don dey hear the smacking from far. The girl begin put her hands for waist dey waka come.

"Hmm," I sound. She suppose fit help me concerning phone matter nah, mey I take call Emeka.

"Oga Chiboy, happy new year!" she shout enter my shop.

"Shame on you, wetin happen?"

"Shame on me?" the girl shock. Omo, kon see as frown take collect like red precipitate for her head.

"Sorry no vex, na same to you me wan tok," I tok dey laugh. She siddon ontop my table.

"Anyway Chiboy, na something I wan kon tell you. Me wan run leave my oga o."

"En hen, wetin kon be my own there?" I give am strong eyes. The girl wan put hin hand for my neck. I grab that hand throway. "Listen and listen carefully, I doesn't want yours presence about me, okay? Fagabond!" I offer ram best grammar wey I get for my cheeks. She smile.

"An ahn Oga Chiboy! You don begin blow your grammars be that o. Shay because person no attend secondary school abi? Oga Chiboy eehn, if I tell you wetin my oga dem do me eeh! You no believe say den tell me say mey I dey fast for new year. Me no eat anything yesterday at all at all. Me even waka come your house sef whether you go fit give me new year food, but your door dey locked. I knock so tay..."

"Enough Carol, kon dey go!" I shout for ram. Me no sabi why I hate Carol like that. She too local for my taste abeg. She no go secondary school! Tufiakwa! I snap my finger.

As Carol dey waka go with shame, I remember say na opportunity dey waka go so. She get one torchlight phone nah. I suppose fit use that one do the call wey I wan do o.
I run follow Carol kon hold am for hand. She turn look me. Water don fill her eyes.

"Chiboy?" she shock when she see me.

"Ayam sorry Carol," I apologize one time. Carol smile. Her smile sef wan resemble Titi own, but na illiterate smile e be jare. Carol follow go back to my shop.

"Oga Chiboy, you nor fit believe say, en...I never chop since yesterday," she tok her mind. I pity ram.

"Okay nah, take this #100 go buy something chop," I give am money. Kon see as Carol dey happy. "But you go do me one favour o."

"Which favour Oga Chiboy?"

"You go allow me use your phone call person."

"Okay, but na flashing credit dey inside o."

"No worry, I go load am. Shay you fit help me buy #100 recharge card come?"

"Yes nah, wey money?" Carol ask.

I send Carol the MTN card. Na so I dey send am message anytime wey she come my shop. True true housegirl work fit am wella.

When she return, I call Emeka with the phone. Na Goke voice I hear.

"Chiboy, now Emeka is with us, ha! ha! ha!" the guy laugh.

"How come?" I ask.

"Forget about that Chiboy. Just go straight to the bank, pay #50,000 into my bank account and then I will release him to you."

I ask am say mey I speak with Emeka. Hin give Emeka the phone.

"Chiboy, go pay the money free me for here o!" Emeka tok.

"But how den catch you again nah?" I shout. "I think say you tok say you tok say you don free before."

"No be you cause am?" Emeka vex for me for phone. "I come Ojodu street no meet you for there na hin I call you say I no see you. You kon text me say make I come one location for Ojota. I reach there na Goke and hin men I see for there nah!"

"Ah!" I grip my head. Na Goke use my phone send the message no be me. Now Emeka don enter wahala. Me no get any 50k to pay o. Now na back to point zero we dey so.

"Oga Chiboy, my phone! My phone!" Carol. begin rush come. Madam go don dey wait me for house!!"

Carol collect hin phone begin run comot.
[/b]
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Timothy3113(m): 8:21am On Aug 09, 2014
Booking space
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 8:23am On Aug 09, 2014
I see Timothy3113 is now back to male grin
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Timothy3113(m): 8:28am On Aug 09, 2014
SammyHoe: I see Timothy3113 is now back to male grin
yes o
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Timothy3113(m): 8:29am On Aug 09, 2014
Oga
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Truth24(m): 8:52am On Aug 09, 2014
me following till infinity grin
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by stormybucci(m): 8:57am On Aug 09, 2014
ghen ghen! ghen!! ghen!!! eshin shin carry kpomo
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 10:44am On Aug 09, 2014
na dis chiboy and his frnd suppose dey dat story "one week, one trouble" weldone bro
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by talk2riel: 11:01am On Aug 09, 2014
E be like say emeka dey this parole with goke o.
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 12:10pm On Aug 09, 2014
Omortolah: na dis chiboy and his frnd suppose dey dat story "one week, one trouble" weldone bro

Lol
Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by DONMAYOR19(m): 12:22pm On Aug 09, 2014
SammyHoe: I see Timothy3113 is now back to male grin
timothy na spirit nah, he rep both male and female....grin how ur side Sammy? Pls do the needful about the pagelord and my pagelady....grin grin grin

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