5minsmadness: @shelter4luving what is happening to our men? Feminism.
Men are being "feminised" as well. No need anymore to play the strong dependable man, riding on a white horse to save the lady from a dragon. That's sexist. Now the lady is the one who saves herself while the men applaud her for being independent and able to make her own choices.
Gone are the days when men were ashamed to admit their wives were the breadwinners of the family. Now its a thing of pride for a man to fold his legs and proudly state his wife is running the financial affairs of the home, after all, there is equality in the family, no captain no head. Its a TEAM effort and anybody can play any role.

The bitter truth is, no man can take care of a child as well as a woman. Women are naturally endowed to cater for and nourish children both physically and emotionally. The man brings in the discipline and hardiness necessary for the child to grow and survive in a harsh society, the woman brings in the love and softness needed to keep the child decent, sane and human . but now women don't have time to do this and (most?)men know next to nothing about taking care of the kids.

The family unit is under serious threat due to this current trend in role reversal in the name of equality and people will keep painting the problem over to meet their own selfish needs.

Personally I think its all part of the divine plan. Things will deteriorate further and there will be absolute chaos. Then peace will come.

carefreewannabe:

It is wrong to disrespect a man who is ok with his wife being the breadwinner. And it is wrong to say that a woman likes to depend on a man. I don't.

Sweetlemon:

Madam wannabe, If you want to keep on misreading and over reading meanings in people's posts so some unambitious broke assses can applaud your superwomanliness, good for you girl.

This topic don stale abeg. I'm tired of talking about it.

Cheers!

femcruz: wey tai2 make he cm finish dis OP, frm the op's side of view it shows dt she wasnt brought up wth money so she had always dreamt dt wen she grow up she will gt a man dt is super rich nd will tender his head to be used Mrg nd Night jst to please her needs but as she grow up she notice say guys don JA! its nw WHAT CAN YOU ALSO OFFER.

OP u compare men of dose days to men of nw, u left out women of dose days. Women of den culd live within dere husband's income, dey didnt nid 5k or 10k b4 dey gt dere hair done. I pity we men alot cos the kind of women we av to put for house in dis present time.

#GOLD.DIGGER

tyor: @ ihedinobi,

I can see your point, VERY VALID. However, it would make perfect sense if you could tailor it to our immediate environment. We cannot all follow the Biblical principles you have quoted there (hence, the reason God created Hell).

Now, ignoring Biblical teachings and folklore, THE MAIN REASON WHY AFRICA IS UNDERDEVELOPED IS BECAUSE WE STILL THINK LIKE THE EUROPEAN THOUGHT IN THE 80s. If Nigerian men thinks, the backup measure to ensuring their child does not become Boko Haram, is to have a reliable and working class woman, so be it.

If Nigeria had safety nets, we would not be thinking like that, since the children can depend on the government to provide for them (if their father cant).

NOTE: It is the duty of government to cater for kids, not the parents (all that story about respect is from the religious perspective).

shelter4luving: Is like out of all the things in the world increasing, the only thing depreciating is LOVE.
when i was a little girl, there's this picture of men i had in my head. i see them as people that are strong, hardworking, brave and people that can defend and protect women. probably all these qualities was meant to be them ,but today, it's difficult to see men with these attribute. what i see now is, different from what i thought.
1. now some men are confidence and bold to publicly tell people how their wife is the bread winner of the family. i even hear this during testimonies in church. oh sorry to say this. if she's the bread winner, please don't expect total respect all the time.
2. Is like all men now want a working, independent woman. so the woman wouldn't depend on them. forgetting that every woman love to depend on his man even if she have the whole money in the world. if a woman cant depend on you, of what use are you to her?
3. a lot of men can actually lie, pretend to love a rich lady just for the sake of her money or fame. that's why you keep seeing advert: ' i want a sugar mummy who can pay' it's disappointing.
4. most men don't even care nor appreciate how the woman manage her time to take care of the children, and still rush home from work to prepare food for the family. rather they keep going around forming Baddest Boy Ever liveth. chasing other ladies and don't even consider how the woman feels. Mr. man, are you not suppose to protect that woman instead of giving her pains and making her cry?
Men, please what's up with you?
if you continue this way, our little boys wouldn't learn how to be real men.
please arise and be the real man you were created to be.

delishpot:

And what is wrong with that?

matify: The woman can be a very enigmatic species to decipher.

Once upon a time, the man had complete control over his enclave to which he bestowed the woman the commander but what did she do?

She craved for the man's office and wanted to explore the man's world. She made advocacy to the high heavens and called the man callous for keeping her subservient to him.

She strove to reverse every word or phrase that had any inkling of masculinity adherent to it e.g. Chairwoman, spokeswoman etc.

She invented a FEMINIST club which had a war chant of " what a man can do, a WOMAN can do better"

Now some men have succumbed to their antic and allowed them to prove their metor but alas they cry blue murder.

What on earth does our women really want?

We love them too much, we are woman wrapper; we are strict, they say we are insensitive; we gladly provide their needs and even wants, they say we inhibit their independence ; we then abdicated our manly office and previleges and KASALA DON SHELE!!!

Sweetlemon:


100000000000000000000000 gbosas for you my guy!

May God continue to preserve men like you. AMEN!

Don't mind that wannabe. She's trying too hard to prove she's a superwoman.

MrRenaissance: Carefreewannabe is not trying too hard to prove she's a superwoman, you are the one trying too hard to encourage the archaic mentality imbibed in the average Nigerian girl to be dependent on men. It's a shame that most Nigerian girls think their lives begins and end with men. I'm sure you are a working class lady, earning your salary, and you are here encouraging women to be lazy and cling to men for stability. The OP is nothing but a leech. Omotola earns more than her husband, does it mean she doesn't respect her husband? this is a modern world, a woman can earn more than the man and still respect him!

Oahray: the woman's rightful place isn't in the kitchen. It's good she works too. However psychological and even physiological differences between men and women, make women better suited to care giving in the family.

Men's traditional role (I'm not talking African culture, but the human race as a whole) as head of the family makes them the default breadwinners. But that is changing, and so must everything related.

Conflicts arise when two members try to assume the same role. It's a given.

The world is changing, let's see where it takes us to. The alarming number of single parent families is just a tip of the scary iceberg.

Jman06: It's good she works too? And then use her earnings for what? See, let's shun double standards and find a lasting solution to this confusion which our marriage institution in Africa has been drawn into by western influences. Now, let me propose two solutions and leave you to choose between them: 1. That all our girls should be withdrawn from school while only boys should be allowed to go to school. Also, all our women in paid employments be denied their jobs and be sent back to the 'kitchen' where they can only engage in petty trading(if they so wish), while our teaming unemployed young men be given their jobs. And women should derive joy from their roles in the 'kitchen' and not start trying to copy the west. And that any woman who tries to take up a paid job outside petty trading should be jailed for life while the same treatment should be meted out on any man who fails to provide for his family. 2. Let's continue in our new found order where women and men are given equal opportunity in all human endeavors while marriage becomes a partnership whereby both men and women are equal partners and make equal contribution in running the affairs of the family, without any grumbling from either side. And that the bills paid to contract such marriages should be shared equally between the partners. And that under such marriages, women should forever stop complaining that men are no longer their old selves, while men should stop lamenting that women no longer take full responsibility of the 'kitchen', and any partner who asks for extra pecks aside this new arrangement should be jailed for life. So sweetie, can you choose from the above conditions?8-)

ihedinobi2:
How is she encouraging women to be lazy and clingy? How do you know that Omotola respects her husband or even really brings in more than he does? Do you live with them? Do they share their financial records with you? Does your wife earn more than you and still respect you?

Let's be careful with assumptions, shall we?

Oahray: to each one his own. Choose for yourself what you want as long as your partner wants the same. It's not mine to choose for the world.

Don't ever call me sweetie again

bukatyne:

So basically you do not expect your wife to respect you if she earns more than you?

Interesting

matify: The woman can be a very enigmatic species to decipher.

Once upon a time, the man had complete control over his enclave to which he bestowed the woman the commander but what did she do?

She craved for the man's office and wanted to explore the man's world. She made advocacy to the high heavens and called the man callous for keeping her subservient to him.

She strove to reverse every word or phrase that had any inkling of masculinity adherent to it e.g. Chairwoman, spokeswoman etc.

She invented a FEMINIST club which had a war chant of " what a man can do, a WOMAN can do better"

Now some men have succumbed to their antic and allowed them to prove their metor but alas they cry blue murder.

What on earth does our women really want?

We love them too much, we are woman wrapper; we are strict, they say we are insensitive; we gladly provide their needs and even wants, they say we inhibit their independence ; we then abdicated our manly office and previleges and KASALA DON SHELE!!!

MrRenaissance: I didn't even bother to reply him, it's a waste of time. Many women earn more than their husband, and their marriages are still intact. I wonder how earning more than a man means the man shouldn't be respected. I blame the sick mentality our Nigerian parents used in raising our men and women up. I don't see why my future wife (I'm not married, forget my moniker) won't respect me if she earns more than me. That she earns more me doesn't make me less of a human or prone to her insults. If my future wife doesn't respect me as I respect her, no matter who earns higher, I'll divorce her if she can't change her attitude.

bukatyne:

So basically you do not expect your wife to respect you if she earns more than you?

Interesting

Jman06: lol @don't ever call me sweetie again. Like i care?! See, i only use that word 'sweetie' in a sarcastic way on nairaland. So, don't even start giving yourself false hope over something that can never be yours.8-)

MrRenaissance: I didn't even bother to reply him, it's a waste of time. Many women earn more than their husband, and their marriages are still intact. I wonder how earning more than a man means the man shouldn't be respected. I blame the sick mentality our Nigerian parents used in raising our men and women up. I don't see why my future wife (I'm not married, forget my moniker) won't respect me if she earns more than me. That she earns more me doesn't make me less of a human or prone to her insults. If my future wife doesn't respect me as I respect her, no matter who earns higher, I'll divorce her if she can't change her attitude.

carefreewannabe: I just read the first few lines and it made me SCREAM:


PLEASE, TALK FOR YOURSELF AND YOURSELF ONLY.


I do not like to depend on anyone AND there is nothing wrong with a man being confident enough to say that his wife is the breadwinner if the situation and circumstances require it or if the couple wants to have it this way.

ihedinobi2:

Eer, he's sort of a dude, you know.

egopersonified: op, if only by the several threads we had seen b4 the nl tsunami, it is very clear that men have actually turned to the babies they are called. you ve said the truth but it doesnt apply to all cases.