carefreewannabe:

I think OP was brought up this way. The man provides and the woman stays at home.

And what is wrong with that?

passionate88: Thank U my sister . I no just knw hw some girls dey think o.

They are brought up this way.

delishpot:

And what is wrong with that?

Nothing if two people agree on that but it is wrong to look down upon alternative life styles or people who find themselves in situations that require something else.

Niftyrules:

Hello carefreewanabe, I think the OP is right with what she said above to some extent but kinda been to harsh on men.

What I know so far is that God has made the woman as an help meet for the man but it will be responsible enough for the man to be able to cater for the family's needs cos if he is unable to do so, the Biblical account states that he is worst than an infidel

But @ OP, I will advice you soften ur pedal on this issue.

This is your belief, not mine.

Mondisweets: what will be your business with other girls when you have found one who is already loyal and responsible?

my dear..the devil is already defeated

shelter4luving: Is like out of all the things in the world increasing, the only thing depreciating is LOVE.
when i was a little girl, there's this picture of men i had in my head. i see them as people that are strong, hardworking, brave and people that can defend and protect women. probably all these qualities was meant to be them ,but today, it's difficult to see men with these attribute. what i see now is, different from what i thought.
1. now some men are confidence and bold to publicly tell people how their wife is the bread winner of the family. i even hear this during testimonies in church. oh sorry to say this. if she's the bread winner, please don't expect total respect all the time.
2. Is like all men now want a working, independent woman. so the woman wouldn't depend on them. forgetting that every woman love to depend on his man even if she have the whole money in the world. if a woman cant depend on you, of what use are you to her?
3. a lot of men can actually lie, pretend to love a rich lady just for the sake of her money or fame. that's why you keep seeing advert: ' i want a sugar mummy who can pay' it's disappointing.
4. most men don't even care nor appreciate how the woman manage her time to take care of the children, and still rush home from work to prepare food for the family. rather they keep going around forming Baddest Boy Ever liveth. chasing other ladies and don't even consider how the woman feels. Mr. man, are you not suppose to protect that woman instead of giving her pains and making her cry?
Men, please what's up with you?
if you continue this way, our little boys wouldn't learn how to be real men.
please arise and be the real man you were created to be.

U don married ni?if not,no need to word with u.If u need advice,seek 4 one.

vict505: Chai I weep for some men. In my Estate this is how all the ladies will be going to work early in the morning and the men will be outside standing looking like goat that was released from a coven. But some women too dey foolish am sorry to say that. Why won't you know what your guy is doing for a living? Daris God oooooo

maybe the bitches want to be with the men for reasons you dont know....

Forget about the financial thingy

shelter4luving: if a woman cant depend on you, of what use are you to her?

I think this summarizes it. Women want to use their men, and men are getting tired of that. How do you expect one to love you when all you want is to use him? Women should look at themselves first before pointing their fingers at the men.

aisha2: The question is "What is happening to our women"?
Even our great man mothers were supportive, they farmed vegetables and cocoyam while the men farmed yams, it has and would always be a partnership.

Because God says Men provide doesnt mean women will sit and open the same fingers and toes God gave us to support to collect and amass. Do you know how many men 35- 45 fall and die from heart attack and cardiac arrest all because they are jumping everywhere desperate to make ends meet and they have wives with the sit and collect mentality?

Why then will my parents save, toil and suffer to send me to school if I would end up sitting and waiting for someone to feed me?

Please as much as we have lazy men these days we have lived with a long generation of lazy women the men are just learning now and trying to catch up. It is no ones right to sit tight and expect to be fed and clothed simply because of their gender.

GBAM!!! I can't type it better, you just nailed it. Why on earth should I sit at home and expect someone to always provide for me? What is the essence of going to school and having a degree?

Niftyrules:

Hello carefreewanabe, I think the OP is right with what she said above to some extent but kinda been to harsh on men.

What I know so far is that God has made the woman as an help meet for the man but it will be responsible enough for the man to be able to cater for the family's needs cos if he is unable to do so, the Biblical account states that he is worst than an infidel

But @ OP, I will advice you soften ur pedal on this issue.

God made the woman as an help mate for the man not a leech. She should be able to contribute her quota to the family

carefreewannabe:

Nothing if two people agree on that but it is wrong to look down upon alternative life styles or people who find themselves in situations that require something else.

Ok. Yes if hubby and wife decide that one should stay hone while the other hussle, I totally stand by them be it hubby at home while wifey works or vice versa. But to insist that you will stay at home while the other partner is ckearly struggling to meet family needs is wickedness. Esp if its the man that has decided to ignore his financial responsibilities. I underatand if a woman with kuds worry about their upbringing and care and decide to quit her job to look after her children till they are old enough. But I see no reason why a man will be happy to sit at home doing nothing and is contented with that life.
I also understand if things are rough for a man and he needs his wife to stand in the gap financially but I know such men will not want to be in that position for long and they will be looking for a means to get back on their feet. But for a man to just think the fact that he has blokos is the only thing that makes him deserve respect is BS.
Just like a woman deserves respect not just because she got a child but because of her effort in bringing up a good child, standing by her man, cattering to family needs ie food, maintaining clothes, etc etc and is a good helper in the community. Able to advice young women and can guide young men when need be. That is what makes a woman deserve respect.
So all thise men thinking because you feed your wives she doesnt deserve respect, are wrong.
Both genders have a given role to play and deserve respect after they fulfil those roles and not because they have blokos or because they have va jay jay.

@op totally true nd on point. As a guy it equally makes me feel bad to know dat over 80 percent of the young married guys also look at other ladies or even have relationships with dem. I was in my uncles car one day and I cud not believe dat he had d effrontery to call his girlfriend on the fone just few seconds after calling his wife. Its just appalling to know dat it is now a trend among so called married men to pass advances and comments on young girls other than their wives or kids

carefreewannabe: I just read the first few lines and it made me SCREAM:


PLEASE, TALK FOR YOURSELF AND YOURSELF ONLY.


I do not like to depend on anyone AND there is nothing wrong with a man being confident enough to say that his wife is the breadwinner if the situation and circumstances require it or if the couple wants to have it this way.

Take your own advice and talk for yourself only. You can hardly say that "there is nothing wrong" with something somebody else finds something wrong with if we all have to speak for ourselves, can you?

delishpot:

Ok. Yes if hubby and wife decide that one should stay hone while the other hussle, I totally stand by them be it hubby at home while wifey works or vice versa. But to insist that you will stay at home while the other partner is ckearly struggling to meet family needs is wickedness. Esp if its the man that has decided to ignore his financial responsibilities. I underatand if a woman with kuds worry about their upbringing and care and decide to quit her job to look after her children till they are old enough. But I see no reason why a man will be happy to sit at home doing nothing and is contented with that life.

I agree, it is wickedness.

I also understand if things are rough for a man and he needs his wife to stand in the gap financially but I know such men will not want to be in that position for long and they will be looking for a means to get back on their feet. But for a man to just think the fact that he has blokos is the only thing that makes him deserve respect is BS.

I agree.

Just like a woman deserves respect not just because she got a child but because of her effort in bringing up a good child, standing by her man, cattering to family needs ie food, maintaining clothes, etc etc and is a good helper in the community. Able to advice young women and can guide young men when need be. That is what makes a woman deserve respect.

A woman deserves respect whether she makes the effort to bring up children or whether she chooses the career path, same for a man.

So all thise men thinking because you feed your wives she doesnt deserve respect, are wrong.

And vice versa.

Both genders have a given role to play and deserve respect after they fulfil those roles and not because they have blokos or because they have va jay jay.

I don't agree. People and couples should not be given fixed roles but have the FREEDOM to choose what suits them individually.

How many women can actually take care of themselves financially before adding a man to the equation ?

Stop this irony. It is a personal pursuit to desire success so any man who wants to be insulted should go ahead and depend on a woman...

ihedinobi2:
Take your own advice and talk for yourself only. You can hardly say that "there is nothing wrong" with something somebody else finds something wrong with if we all have to speak for ourselves, can you?

My statement started with the personal pronoun "I".

'Why na! If the husband dey lose the bread and the wife dey win am, na wetin concern u na? Sey una want make both of them lose the bread ni. If dem both lose am, sey you go give them your own bread'. I be winner sha. The Op has a classical 'adamic' mentality. It is good for a man to provide for his family, but the contemporary economic situation has made it ,if not, mandatory for both husband and wife to contribute to the family. In a situation whereby both are working and the wife is privileged to earn more salary than the husband, should the husband now break-up the marriage? If the husband should decide to dissolve to marriage, it is people like the OP that will call him 'ENEMY OF PROGRESS'. In life, i have learnt never to believe in what people write, say or do. I should just be aware of what they write, say or do, then apply my brain. Life is not a place where you believe in just anything you read, hear or even feel.

woman,speak for yaself,not all men wanna be like dat

delishpot: Ewooo, OP don put hand for tortise nyansh. Wait make naija men come catch you.
Me don dey ready to see a lets hang all women post. Hiannn you dare question why men want women to feed them and at the same time respect them as her provider, protector and support?
You dare ask why boys of these days dey happy to just park blokos go left sidon yapkata for chiar and wonder why them wives no fit pay school fees, house rent, buy clothes, clean house and cook food while dem the golden men just sidon enjoy tv and insult any photo wey a man dey bathe him pikins Or dey help him wife fix her shoe Or help him wife sweep or help him wife wash and clear kitchen or help him wife baby sit?
You dare question why our boys decide say its ok for their wives to feed and shelter them but not ok for them to help wife with chores?
Ok wait there, wait make naija boys show you how not to question their authourity when it concerns common women, ordinary women, just women, simple women , just , ordinary, common women.
Dem dey talk people and things wey deserve rights you mention women? Ok.

I see why feminism appears popular with Nigerian ladies from this post.

Perhaps we need to dial back the hands of the clock to understand how things came to this. Apparently, before the advent of feminism men were cruel to women thus they needed protection. Seeing as they couldn't appeal to any other authority, they took matters into their own hands and decided that they must be awarded equal rights with men. So women became providers, hunters and gatherers like men. But someone still has to take care of the domestic stuff. So the women declare that men must share the housework too.

Becoming providers too means that there is increased competition for economic gain. The sensitivity of society to women means that women will be prefered for the award of some of that gain. Men are thus rendered redundant. The tragedy is that terrible things are conceived by idle minds and carried out by idle hands so the less-engaged men now begin to grow wild and put unnatural pressure in unnatural places. Men are not normally domesticated so they go outside and wreak havoc with their excess energy, read adultery and loafing and consumptive living.

And the women feel overworked because she is quite conscious of the state of the home in a way that men ordinarily aren't. And she begins to demand that men go back to being men. But then how can the men do so having been rendered rather useless in their specialties?

If women want men to be men, they should simply let him be the man. Or else they really should quit complaining. What we are suffering today are all of them the results of bad choices made by our mothers and fathers decades, maybe centuries, ago. If we want different results, we should start by re-examining those choices and endeavoring to understand them.

Edited

Sophyrocks: *Sniff sniff sniff*

I smell something. Brb.

I smell victory

carefreewannabe:

My statement started with the personal pronoun "I".

It should have continued with "I" then, that is, '"I" find nothing wrong with...' Then you would be speaking entirely for yourself as well.

carefreewannabe:

I agree, it is wickedness.



I agree.



A woman deserves respect whether she makes the effort to bring up children or whether she chooses the career path, same for a man.



And vice versa.



I don't agree. People and couples should not be given fixed roles but have the FREEDOM to choose what suits them individually.

Dont get it wrong, I am not saying if and only if she has kids. I meant for thise with kids( these are more than those without)
If you have kids as a woman then you are expected to care for them and yes its not an option to decide you will just have the kids and keep them at home without doing anythingvfor their wellbeing. If you cant do it, give them to those who want kids and are ready to care for them.So I am not saying barren women dont deserve respect, they have roles to play at hone and community too. Yes a person who decides to just sitdown and look at the world with folded arms has nothing to be respected for. But he or she has the right to live the path chosen as long as no one gets hurt.

God wants men to be the overseer of the women but they (women) supports something contrary. Women should not complain, afterall they want ''Gender equality''.
[/quote]

what do you mean ? , we men are ok

macdanny247: hmmm, i never knew a man could b happy coz his wife is the bread winner.... Am jst hearing this for d first time

bros i shock o..
cos me proud die. i can't even date when i broke... talk more of marry to eats wifes money..

d best way to kill nagging is by being d breadwinner..
thats our pride

ihedinobi2:

I see why feminism appears popular with Nigerian ladies from this post.

Perhaps we need to dial back the hands of the clock to understand how things came to this. Apparently, before the advent of feminism men were cruel to women thus they needed protection. Seeing as they couldn't appeal to any other authority, they took matters into their own hands and decided that they must be awarded equal rights with men. So women became providers, hunters and gatherers like men. But someone still has to take care of the domestic stuff. So the women declare that men must share the housework too.

Becoming providers too means that there is increased competition for economic gain. The sensitivity of society to women means that women will be prefered for the award of some of that gain. Men are thus rendered redundant. The tragedy is that terrible things are conceived by idle minds and carried out by idle hands so the less-engaged men now begin to grow wild and put unnatural pressure in unnatural places. Men are not normally domesticated so they go outside and wreak havoc with their excess energy, read adultery and loafing and consumptive living.

And the women feel overworked because she is quite conscious of the state of the home in a way that men ordinarily aren't. And she begins to demand that men go back to being men. But then how can the men do so having been rendered rather useless in their specialties?

If women want men to be men, they should simply let him be the man. Or else they really should quit complaining. What we are suffering today are all of them the results of bad choices made by our mothers and fathers decades, maybe centuries, ago. If we want different results, we should start by re-examining those choices and endeavoring to understand them.

Edited

And what in these rights make men think women want to rob men of their dignity?

Right to bail
Right to make a female withness equal a male withness in court
Right to Education
Right to inherit
Right to vote
Right to follow any career they feel able to do
Right to be free from abuse( cos some religion feel its okay to beat a wives)
Right to freely express her views
Right to have equal treatment as male co workers in a company or industry
Right to decide whom to marry
Right to be heared when in an abusive marriage
So, which of these makes a man less of a man if granted to your girl children?

dahmie2013: Op dear, I quite agree with u, but being dependent on a man is a no no 4 moi. As far as I'm concerened I don't need a man 4 nything, I can take care of myself, get preg without sex&dere's even a replacement 2 deir joystick . So dear, its a free world, but dere's no replacement 4 my tight punny .

blood of God...end tym comments

delishpot:

Dont get it wrong, I am not saying if and only if she has kids. I meant for thise with kids( these are more than those without)
If you have kids as a woman then you are expected to care for them and yes its not an option to decide you will just have the kids and keep them at home without doing anythingvfor their wellbeing. If you cant do it, give them to those who want kids and are ready to care for them.So I am not saying barren women dont deserve respect, they have roles to play at hone and community too. Yes a person who decides to just sitdown and look at the world with folded arms has nothing to be respected for. But he or she has the right to live the path chosen as long as no one gets hurt.

You forget the role of the father and you forget that a mother can have a career, too.

Op nice one. Well done! As much as being an independent woman is the best, its good to know one has a man who can meet her needs any time of the day.

delishpot:

And what is wrong with that?

There's nothing wrong with that so long as the woman takes her rightful place in the kitchen and remains at the man's beck and call in the bedroom. Conflicts will only arise when the woman tries to be 'equal' with the man but refuses to brace up with the responsibilities of being an 'equal'. No room for double standards. Hope you agree with that?

carefreewannabe: I just read the first few lines and it made me SCREAM:


PLEASE, TALK FOR YOURSELF AND YOURSELF ONLY.


I do not like to depend on anyone AND there is nothing wrong with a man being confident enough to say that his wife is the breadwinner if the situation and circumstances require it or if the couple wants to have it this way.

WISDOM IN A WOMAN, HARD TO COME BY.

MORE GREASE TO UR ELBOW JOR, UV SENSIBLE SAID IT ALL.