Idowuogbo:
Lolz.. u dey para oo

@topic

I for like comment but my oga don instruct me to zip it. I dont know about u o... but me i dey obey my blokos wella

Lol, he's trying so hard to get on my nerves. Hmm well me dey question blokos sometimes before I decide to obey or not.

freecocoa: I'd like you to kindly respect yourself this night, I have no time to entertain your rubbish tonight, thanks.

classic!

In such a free world? Anybody can do as they please. One hopes though, that she doesn't come complaining when the boyfriend decides to do as he pleases when he pleases.

freecocoa: So a friend of mine called me asking my opinion on this issue.

A very dear friend of hers is having a birthday bash, he invited and she'd really love to go because he's someone she holds dear plus she really wants to have some fun, now she told her friend she'd be there and on the D day gets set to go and told tells her boyfriend(she went to spend sometime with him), he said in quote "you are not going anywhere" and she thought it was a joke, asked why? he said "I don't want You to", she then said let's go together if you are worried about anything, he still refused saying he isn't worried.
She says she's going and he said "don't say I didn't warn you" , she's asking if its wrong to disobey him.

You can guess what I told her, now let's know what you think.

Tell that guy *WAKA*!

freecocoa: Imagine, the truth is I think she lives with this guy if not I don't see what would give him the guts to say that, even at that sef, if its insecurity why not go with her as she suggested? To me I see it as a controlling man wanting to flex his muscles and that can't happen with me.

sometimes men just do it to make sure that their women is submissive and also because he feels threatened by the other guy or just wants to spite the mofo

if you were in his shoes with the same scenario and a girl that he is close too, would you not also tell him not to go...i know the threat is next level ish, but u should respect his wishes the same way u would want him to respect urs...because if u dont, gloves are off...if my babe disrespected me like that, i would not say anything...i'd just be more relaxed planning and playing away games...and when she gets mad...i'd tell her "why are u mad? u started this game na"

freecocoa: Why would it be better? Even husnand sef, the only reason I'll understand is if the partner has a reason to suspect her, still he should look for ways to catch her and take his decision instead of taking decisions for an adult because you feel its your right to.

The moment you get involved with a guy relationship wise, it assume you'd compromise your liberty for the greater good of the relationship. Not that the guy should control your movement but if he is not in support of you going to a certain place, it is best you sacrifice or you may choose to disobey and face the repercussion.

He definitely might have reason for his inadequacy and if it is not something you can manage better quit than whining he is a control freak. Disobedience on the girl part is also as bad as the boyfriend issuing ultimatum.

Hmmmmm, there is this old yoruba proverb; the eyes that will serve one at old age will not be developing problems in childhood days ! - Men are not emotional but calculative, you do that to him and he re-evaluates his future with you! I guess you might say - to hell with him and his future, then what you just told the world is the guy you call bf ain't worth crap!

Boyfriend get level as someone said.
Is he housing her? Paying her bills? etc?
Then she isn't living like an independent adult is she?

That aside, how they communicate between each other is really their own matter.
I suppose that's just him communicating to her that he doesn't want her to do something.
He could have gone about it a different way, but seems he is more of a direct person.

Goldenboy007: Hmmmmm, there is this old yoruba proverb; the eyes that will serve one at old age will not be developing problems in childhood days ! - Men are not emotional but calculative, you do that to him and he re-evaluates his future with you! I guess you might say - to hell with him and his future, then what you just told the world is the guy you call bf ain't worth crap!

Difference dey between bf and husband.
If he wants to get "instructional" like that, he better be the one paying her bills too while they are still bf/gf.

If both are purely independent individuals, and he hasn't even put a ring on it, then he really needs to work on his communication skills.

From observation, These I-don't-need-to-think-about-my-words behaviors typically depend on who has the upper hand in relationships.
Women who date guys above their social rank will experience such interactions. So also will guys who date women above their social rank, otherwise you won't even tolerate the idea of listening to alternatums/demands not to talk of discussing them with anybody (i.e. if he/she walks out of my life, so does the accompanying prestige, money, levels, etc).

Best thing is to date someone at a similar rank or, even better, someone who doesn't care about such things.

2buff:

Difference dey between bf and husband.
If he wants to get "instructional" like that, he better be the one paying her bills too while they are still bf/gf.

If both are purely independent individuals, and he hasn't even put a ring on it, then he really needs to work on his communication skills.

From observation, These I-don't-need-to-think-about-my-words behaviors typically depend on who has the upper hand in relationships.
Women who date guys above their social rank will experience such interactions. So also will guys who date women above their social rank, otherwise you won't even think of accepting some alternatums/demands.

Best thing is to date someone at a similar rank or, even better, someone who doesn't care about such things.

I hope you are married? If not this your ideology will put you in some quagmire when you get married ! The greatest mistake we make is to always think marriage changes everything! Be clear about this, wedding is a one day ceremony where people come to eat, it doesn't change personality neither does it transform people ! If your girlfriend doesn't respect you in the relationship, marriage ain't changing anything ! Be guided !

Goldenboy007:

I hope you are married? If not this your ideology will put you in some quagmire when you get married ! The greatest mistake we make is to always think marriage changes everything! Be clear about this, wedding is a one day ceremony where people come to eat, it doesn't change personality neither does it transform people ! If your girlfriend doesn't respect you in the relationship, marriage ain't changing anything ! Be guided !

My comment and your reply really have nothing in common.
Are you sure you weren't replying to nother post?

tintingz: Are they married?

Where is your homework?

2buff:

My comment and your reply really have nothing in common.
Are you sure you weren't replying to nother post?

Bros, I responded to your first statement and I quote " Difference dey between bf and husband"..to which I responded " No difference because marriage don't make a difference"

carefreewannabe:

Where is your homework?

forgot to do it.

2buff:

Difference dey between bf and husband.
If he wants to get "instructional" like that, he better be the one paying her bills too while they are still bf/gf.

If both are purely independent individuals, and he hasn't even put a ring on it, then he really needs to work on his communication skills.

From observation, These I-don't-need-to-think-about-my-words behaviors typically depend on who has the upper hand in relationships.
Women who date guys above their social rank will experience such interactions. So also will guys who date women above their social rank, otherwise you won't even tolerate the idea of listening to alternatums/demands not to talk of discussing them with anybody (i.e. if he/she walks out of my life, so does the accompanying prestige, money, levels, etc).

Best thing is to date someone at a similar rank or, even better, someone who doesn't care about such things.

I don't know for them oo.

Boyfriend is different from Husband.

Is he the one paying her bills

Is she living in his house

Is she bearing his name

Are they legally together and approved by the parents in the union
etc

anything aside that the union is just floating, temporary, the relationship can crash anytime and both of them will just move on with no divorce paper sef.

na so some girls will go to their boyfriends house to wash their dirty clothes wash boxers, cook for them, do the chores, sleep over everyday... ahan wetin respect una sef .

Goldenboy007:

I hope you are married? If not this your ideology will put you in some quagmire when you get married ! The greatest mistake we make is to always think marriage changes everything! Be clear about this, wedding is a one day ceremony where people come to eat, it doesn't change personality neither does it transform people ! If your girlfriend doesn't respect you in the relationship, marriage ain't changing anything ! Be guided !

Marriage changes many things that's why it is called marriage, its meant for matured mind people.

Even in marriage a wife has the right to question her husband.

a boyfriend will just wake up and said "don't go there" to his girlfriend without no reason, the girl be i-robot?

Jamieb: the ans is yes. boyfrnds get grade if na fiance e better. if d guy is insecured, let him go wit d gal.

the guy is not insecure, he only knws dat 6 pack turns his girlfriend on....lol

Truckpusher: .....Peeps like you usually stands at attention when your boyfriend walks in until he says ''as you were''

no mind her jor she Js dey run her mouth...lol she say even husband sef. It is girls like this u marry and put in boys quarter because 2 captain no fit dey one ship

If she leaves in my house and I say I'm not cool with party especially if it is late, then it is in her interest to obey, but if she is not leaving with me then wherever she go is her bizness

she isnt crossing the line, she just need to fnd out what he meant by that

tintingz: forgot to do it.

You are not allowed to use statistics again on NL.

freecocoa: So a friend of mine called me asking my opinion on this issue.

A very dear friend of hers is having a birthday bash, he invited and she'd really love to go because he's someone she holds dear plus she really wants to have some fun, now she told her friend she'd be there and on the D day gets set to go and told tells her boyfriend(she went to spend sometime with him), he said in quote "you are not going anywhere" and she thought it was a joke, asked why? he said "I don't want You to", she then said let's go together if you are worried about anything, he still refused saying he isn't worried.
She says she's going and he said "don't say I didn't warn you" , she's asking if its wrong to disobey him.

You can guess what I told her, now let's know what you think.

Abeg make una dey take boyfriend matter easy. Is he her Father? Disobey? Don't say i didn't warn you meaning what?

Meanwhile if na her Papa talk say don't go she will still find a way to skip out so whats her excuse for "obeying" this man.

tintingz: Marriage changes many things that's why it is called marriage, its meant for matured mind people.

Even in marriage a wife has the right to question her husband.

a boyfriend will just wake up and said "don't go there" to his girlfriend without no reason, the girl be i-robot?

Husband and Boyfriend are just mere titles! Same is wife and Girlfriend ! Relationship remains unchanged!!!! So if two immature get married do they become matured? or will marriage transforms abusive boyfriend to a gentle husband? or a stubborn girlfriend to a submissive wife? What you see in relationship is what you get in marriage!!! that is the whole essence of courtship in the first place !!! Its our greed that makes us lay the foundation of marriage on a faulty relationship !!!

Marriage = Wedding + Relationship

But Wedding = ceremony + come chop.

Therefore; Marriage = (Ceremony + come chop) + Relationship.

NB- Relationship remains constant !

Goldenboy007:


Husband and Boyfriend are just mere titles! Same is wife and Girlfriend ! Relationship remains unchanged!!!! So if two immature get married do they become matured? or will marriage transforms abusive boyfriend to a gentle husband? or a stubborn girlfriend to a submissive wife? What you see in relationship is what you get in marriage!!! that is the whole essence of courtship in the first place !!! Its our greed that makes us lay the foundation of marriage on a faulty relationship !!!

Marriage = Wedding + Relationship

But Wedding = ceremony + come chop.

Therefore; Marriage = (Ceremony + come chop) + Relationship.

NB- Relationship remains constant !

I disagree

They are not mere tittle, check dictionary for the meaning of husband, boyfriend, wife, girlfriend.

A husband has a responsibility to hold/run the family, pay for the bills, be a leader, understand his wife etc that's where maturity comes. A boyfriend doesn't do all does stuff, he's not yet a family man all what he does is have sex with his girlfriend and maybe dump her later.

Some boyfriend that even try and support their girlfriend financially will always want something in return which sex is part of it.

Husband and boyfriend treats can never be in one box.

A bachelor lifestyle is different to that of a married man lifestyle.

A girlfriend is still living with his parent, a spinster... why should a "boyfriend" give her orders?

freecocoa: Is there a law about being un$married at 28? And what is bad advice if I may ask?

Some people are better left ignored.

@OP, the BF is an arrogant, egocentric and selfish dude. He's insecure and I wouldn't even advice your friend to be with the guy in the first place. Insecure men always turn abusers. This is the first sign. He's no tangible reasons and yet he won't allow her go.

Onlinebizexpert: the guy is feeling insecure
em incase the guy no sabi BF and HUSBAND no be samething

that guy needs some growing up to do unless the babe de open her legs anyhow. Boy friend/girl friend should be disobeyed weller. Person wey if time is not taken him no go marry.

Anacksunamun: @OP, the BF is an arrogant, egocentric and selfish dude. He's insecure and I wouldn't even advice your friend to be with the guy in the first place. Insecure men always turn abusers. This is the first sign. He's no tangible reasons and yet he won't allow her go.

Agreed.

At this stage in their lives, he can only ASK her not to go to a party, not TELL her. It should be a discussion, not a no-logic "decree". She has her own life independent of his. Better a "Babes, I would prefer it if you didn't go" as opposed to "don't go or I will make you regret it". If the roles were switched and it was a girlfriend telling that to the guy, I'm sure the same punks talking here will be saying "how dare she".

A lot of small boys here are just gangster wannabees.

If any of my sister's boyfriends ever grows this kind of head, I would personally treat his fuckup myself. If he wants to be TELLING her what to do (no questions asked), then he needs to do the needful and wife her (if she agrees). Other than that, he is simply one of her many random male friends and that is all he will be in my eyes.

This is the same mental audacity that makes these stoopid boys start beating up on their girlfriends upon the slightest argument.
Until her elder brother comes to pay you a visit

laplace12: A LOVE RELATIONSHIP is meant to be a MODEL MARRIAGE where each partner is expected to simulate the husband or wife role though they ain't married yet. If the lady feel she could take such orders when they get married she better start doing so now to a avoid sending the wrong message and probably ruin a beautiful relationship.

That is to say, we get married 3-10 times before we actually get married?
Its this skewed mentality that leaves people heart broken when one party calls it quits...

Btw I agree with aluta, it depends on the dynamics of the relationship but! There are better ways to tell her not to go! Its just messed up n disturbing to say shii like "don't say I didn't warn u"... Unless he knws smtn bad is gon take place tho...

Adaeze003:

That is to say, we get married 3-10 times before we actually get married?
Its this skewed mentality that leaves people heart broken when one party calls it quits...

Btw I agree with aluta, it depends on the dynamics of the relationship but! There are better ways to tell her not to go! Its just messed up n disturbing to say shii like "don't say I didn't warn u"... Unless he knws smtn bad is gon take place tho...

You have comprehension problem. Check for the meaning of MODEL.