Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! - Family (17) - Nairaland
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| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Emioga: 6:18pm On Aug 22, 2014 |
@picabeau i stay in a duplex but b4 sm1 say i shud be accomodating she has 4houses of her own!!!!!imagine i found out ystaday dat she was taking my turkey eggs(and i am busy thinking dem no lay egg)she has her own chickens!!!!I dont work but am given money @ home monthly despite am married and here is a woman that sells in my home and at d market!!!!!(na only she waka come?)i tot marriage was the starting of a new family bt mine is the continuation of hubby own.no privacy at all bt wetin i go do nw?food and money!!!she fit kill u cos of d 2 as 4 BIL he enters our room anyhow bt i have never stepped in his room@temi if that is d case its better men marry their mothers.dnt i have a mother too?i have been married for two years nw and courted for two and my mother has never and i repeat NEVER stepped my house.she no sabi d street sef talkless d colour@wendy looooool abeg no fight ur hubby on top my matter o thank GOD u guys made up 3 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Nobody: 6:37pm On Aug 22, 2014 |
@Emioga......don't resign concerning the situation. Walahi there is always a way out. Always. Keep that in mind. |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by pickabeau1: 9:38pm On Aug 22, 2014 |
OK... It is well....... I think you need to focus on the baby u r having now...leave battles for now Secondly you will need to get a job or a source of income..who knows the future... If anything happens or hubby loses interest.. They will throw you out.....God will keep your home and nothing will happen. This can be after your baby or you monetise a skill you have or can learn trading, catering etc Also continue interceding Don't fight.. Your condition is not ideal Also you may need a helper... Emioga: @picabeau i stay in a duplex but b4 sm1 say i shud be accomodating she has 4houses of her own!!!!!imagine i found out ystaday dat she was taking my turkey eggs(and i am busy thinking dem no lay egg)she has her own chickens!!!!I dont work but am given money @ home monthly despite am married and here is a woman that sells in my home and at d market!!!!!(na only she waka come?)i tot marriage was the starting of a new family bt mine is the continuation of hubby own.no privacy at all bt wetin i go do nw?food and money!!!she fit kill u cos of d 2 as 4 BIL he enters our room anyhow bt i have never stepped in his room@temi if that is d case its better men marry their mothers.dnt i have a mother too?i have been married for two years nw and courted for two and my mother has never and i repeat NEVER stepped my house.she no sabi d street sef talkless d colour@wendy looooool abeg no fight ur hubby on top my matter o thank GOD u guys made up 1 Like |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by temi4fash(m): 11:51pm On Aug 22, 2014 |
Emioga... I tink u shld begin to look for a way to plan for urself and ur baby.. Just as ma oga pickbeau has said.. The lord is ur strength sister. He wuld see u thru.. 1 Like |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Beetle: 8:14am On Aug 23, 2014 |
Emioga, Hmmm you have to be very smart about this. She has 4 houses and yet live off you two. You need to recruit your mum as well. Let your mum come over. Your type of MIL will never stand competition. Ignore her pettiness, all those silly things forget them. One question I will ask is are you sure she has 4 houses? It might just be a front. If she does then omo you need to start planning. At the end of the day you need your own space too. Start with your husband. You know his weak points, you know how you can get at him. Something drastic needs to be done before she can leave your house. BIL ignore him, it's youthful exuberance. A lot of things you will ignore. It might hurt but omo you don't want high bp. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I can't say much cos at the end if the day you're a WOMAN. |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by pickabeau1: 9:20am On Aug 23, 2014 |
Recruiting her own mother could ignite the already tense situation 5 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Nobody: 10:35am On Aug 23, 2014 |
saponification: Hi everyone I am married n practise MouthAction wit my hubby.but a friend came to me yesterday 2 seek my advice on dis issue.her hubby wants oral/anal sex but she sees it as dirty/unholy.so its causin issues btw them.I couldn't really advice cos I kind of was confused wit d anal sex issue.so pls I need opinions on dis question:Is there any tin/position/method dat couples do in d act of their lovemakin dat can be termed UNHOLY/DIRTY?pls I need opinions backed up wit reasons.thak you |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by krystal101(f): 11:58am On Aug 23, 2014 |
I think with her mom around, they won't mess with her or look for her trouble. There'd be boundaries and she can have who to confide in pickabeau1: Recruiting her own mother could ignite the already tense situation |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by pickabeau1: 12:03pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
hmmm.. guess we all see things differently.... no mother will like her child in pain... krystal101: I think with her mom around, they won't mess with her or look for her trouble. There'd be boundaries and she can have who to confide in |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Nobody: 12:55pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
krystal101: I think with her mom around, they won't mess with her or look for her trouble. There'd be boundaries and she can have who to confide inI think her sister would be better . So that nobody will read meaning into it. 1 Like |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by temi4fash(m): 2:27pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
softsparkyy:their is definitely goin to be a show down in that house.. If matters are not handled with care.. Woman matter na very serious matter.. |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by krystal101(f): 2:30pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
I agree! She's just alone. Even if its a cousin, atleast some close to her softsparkyy: |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by mamateniola1: 7:24pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
Bringing in her mother will aggravate the matter oh. Her younger sister or someone can come in and just to have a company not with the intention of fighting for you oh and let the person be a patient person too so that both of you wnt loose it at thesame time. other sabi sisters n brothers have said it all. Get a job, get anything that will take you outta the house and above all, choose your battle. If you have to ignore them pls do. You are not stupid but for your peace of mind! |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by mamateniola1: 7:31pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
I don't understand what you mean by backdoor. Is it like the doggy style we know or entering the anus? (which is a no no, healthwise) To me, there isn't no boundary with what you shld do with your husband IF YOU LIKE IT AND ENJOY IT but if she doesn't like, that another issue dunno which is unholy .n for your friend to see that as unholy, she shld have married someone with the same level of spirituality or same moral standard. So maybe she should discuss with him or look for another style she can enjoy with her husband. [quote author=dorosola][/quote] 1 Like |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by imurboss: 8:03pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
@mamateniola, I can understand that 'it's my brother's house' attitude. I can assure u that it's just a phase cos it won't last. What most of this SIL's forget (especially the single ones) is that they will also get married one day to somebody's brother too & the circle goes on cos what goes around comes around. As for your bedroom,u can get a key & lock it up,she has no biz with ur room pls. Once u have started allowing that then u must continue to allow it but if u can put down ur feet at once then it will stop. God will see us through. |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by eagleeye2: 10:32pm On Aug 23, 2014 |
Godmystrength: i can only smile. He pushed me to the wall o. in fact, he suggested i get the money from my parents and because i was just too ashamed of myself, i could not ask my parents (i have borrowed from them in the past and they didn't collect it back from me plus he is owing my mum some money he hasn't paid back), that was why i had to ask my sisters.I am sorry to say this, but your hubby is irresponsible and does not have your interest at heart. God forbid it, if anything happens at the long run, you are own your own. Please start saving up and making financial plans for you and your kids. AND PLEASE STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM OR PITYING HIM. He should start being responsible for his family's welfare. What are you going to tell your kids when they start growing, THAT MUMMY IS THE FAMILY BREAD WINNER? Abeg, wake up, before your kids especially the males take after their dad, and see his behavior as the norm. NB I just have to be blunt. 3 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by IdJack(m): 12:54am On Aug 25, 2014 |
I just feel sorry for all this ladies with their stories, I cannot imagine having a home and allowing my wife to take k of the home financially, pay my kids school fees, pay house rent, etc. Please if you are such a man here, becos i knw we have them in this Nairaland, you should be ashamed of yourself. Even if you dont ave a good paying job, or lost a job, atleast let your action shows that u really try to be a man and are looking for a way to remedy the situation. The same men will come tomorrow now and open a tread "My wife is sleeping around" You better sit up. If you are such a man and you are here, you better logout out now and go find something worth doing for yourself and your family. 13 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by pickabeau1: 1:07am On Aug 25, 2014 |
Who are these ones insulting people's husbands.. 1 Like |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Nobody: 8:09am On Aug 25, 2014 |
pickabeau1: Who are these ones insulting people's husbands.. Is dat an insult or a piece of advice? 12 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by pickabeau1: 8:44am On Aug 25, 2014 |
So where do u guys get off insulting others husbands calling them irresponsible... Candis009: |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Godmystrength: 9:06am On Aug 25, 2014 |
pickabeau1: Who are these ones insulting people's husbands..I am beginning to loose interest in this family section now.............. the reason i deleted the other thread. You can't solicit for advice or words of encouragement without being insulted directly or indirectly..... 3 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by pickabeau1: 9:11am On Aug 25, 2014 |
Godmystrength: I am beginning to loose interest in this family section now.............. the reason i deleted the other thread. Yo can't solicit for advice or words of encouragement without being insulted directly or indirectly..... Try not to take it to heart. Take the good advice and leave the rest That's why some posters open new accounts to table their point and then deactivate after 1 Like |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Godmystrength: 9:17am On Aug 25, 2014 |
pickabeau1:okay. you are right. |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by mamateniola1: 9:46am On Aug 25, 2014 |
Goodmorning@all. but seriously, we don't need to use such words as 'irresponsible husband or wife '. Tho We all understand how angry one can be when we read or hear of some of our husbands' or wives' ways but monkey no fine but him Mama like am. Peeps that are getting discouraged, pls don't oh. Peeps using such words will stop henceforth plsss.me dey enjoy this thread n learning from it, let's not put off some ple abeg. Some have worst cases n they need help, someone to talk to,they will be happy to share n offload wharever dts bothering them |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by snazzylove: 6:01pm On Aug 25, 2014 |
PLEASE NO INSULT OR CARELESS TALK. Someone's problem might look cheap or irrelevant to you but it is their problem and if they have a solution to it they won't make it public. So let us pls be very matured about this and submit only candid advice and opinion. Grcias![/quote] This is just to serve as a reminder to all. Pls no one will feel good having his/her spouse called names or be insulted, no matter how 'bad' u think their spouses are. Pls we are talking about peoples soul mates not just anyhow pple. Those in the habit of insults and name calling kindly desist from it. Keep some of these opinions to urself rather than voicing it out and hurting the other person more. @Godmystrength, dear just as adviced by pickabeau1, don't take such things to heart. Most people here are just fault-finders and trouble moguls. Cheers! |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by IdJack(m): 6:06pm On Aug 25, 2014 |
I am not insulting anybody, just that sometimes some men need to be flogged. I Pray for God to help them...and me too. For those ladies, God will turn things around for your good. pickabeau1: Who are these ones insulting people's husbands.. 5 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by pickabeau1: 6:11pm On Aug 25, 2014 |
IdJack: I am not insulting anybody, just that sometimes some men need to be flogged. Yes..some acts may be inexplicable but points should be made in a mature manner n show empathy. Calling someone spouse irresponsible is irresponsible 4 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by snazzylove: 6:15pm On Aug 25, 2014 |
pickabeau1: On a lighter note. This one got me  3 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by Godmystrength: 8:27pm On Aug 25, 2014 |
pickabeau1: . Sorry but i gat to laff  1 Like |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by eagleeye2: 9:02pm On Aug 25, 2014 |
I am sorry oooooo I thought this thread is about counseling and sharing of problems. I didnt know that in counseling, you have to pretend that black is blue or dark gray, and white is cream color. . ndo, pele, sorry at all those whom I have offended by speaking the obvious truth. 9 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by pickabeau1: 9:05pm On Aug 25, 2014 |
Obvious truth?.. That must be laced with insults ..?  If you are a counsellor n your approach is to be insulting... You will be shot by your counsellees 2 Likes |
| Re: Counselling: Strictly For Couples And Intending Couples! by eagleeye2: 9:29pm On Aug 25, 2014 |
eagleeye2:Apart from the word Irresponsible, what other word, phrase or sentence, do you find insulting in all what I said, @ pickabeau1? 1 Like |
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