GboyegaD: @Snazzylove,
Your friend isn't fit to be a mother.

temi4fash: Sir, I find it distasteful telling someone she is not fit to be a mother. Is there a criteria for been a mother?? Please give advise if you want to. And stop throwing jabs at the woman. I remember vividly when I was younger and my mum caught me gambling she beat so te I can remember asking if na she born me. But am a better person for it today. Everyone style of parenting is different the fact that hers does not align with yours does not in anyway make her less of a mother. But to these post me don't no what to say oo.. Brain is still loading. But am sure they must have caught or seen someone doing it.

cococandy: I meant like counseling

But then that should be after they are done trying to fix it themselves.
So yes it should be a thing of last resort.

Emioga: Mine is worse.my MIL and BIL stay with us despite they have 3 houses of their own.its been tough bt to make matters worse hubby will tell u 'its my house and u didnt give me money and u r d visitor ,if u aint comfortable move out''.marrige aint sweet i tell ya

oluwabukunola: what! Is he insane or what oops! Sorry about dat. Ahn! Ahn! Which kain man be dat. Hmm God is your helper o.

oluwabukunola: what! Is he insane or what oops! Sorry about dat. Ahn! Ahn! Which kain man be dat. Hmm God is your helper o.

GboyegaD: @Snazzylove,
Your friend isn't fit to be a mother. .

GboyegaD:

Been abusive is very wrong and I find it amusing when in some cases we support it in the name of corrections. I'm so sure you feel the lady who asked the household to sit on an electric cooker last week is wicked and all sorts but truth is she is not in any way worse than this lady as well. Parenting styles differs no doubt nonetheless, inhumane treatment should be frowned at. My opinion though.

snazzylove:


I don't know the generation you belong to. But if you belong to my generation am not sure you would have spoken in dat manner.

Parenting styles differ. And here is Naija where 'koboko' has been used as a form or restoring sanity in kids since 19...

So are u saying that our parents were never fit to be parents??
Smh

temi4fash: I think we belong to different school of thought as regards these maybe because of my growing up and where I did grow up. The one about the maid to me is extreme. And I don't have problem with your school of thought but with your statement of her not been fit to be a mother. Your use of words.

Wendy80: Good Morn E-Family, Not been here in awhile. Been very very busy lately jare. But I get gist 2day sha des an issue concerning my mate and I don't know how to handle it.
She's been married for 5years now. According to her b4 she got married to her hubby, he was dating someone who resides in the UK and they were still very much 2geda but She still went ahead to date him. She was aware of d Chick in the UK but didn't really care since she's here with him, eventually he married her‎.
She's been worrying her hubby 2get som Tshirts for himself (for himself oh)to replace d wornout ones he has and h‎e agreed. Just 2weeks ago she stumbled on chat btw hubby n Ex about helping him to get some Tshirts and sending dem thru a friend who's in d UK for hols. She agreed and even sent him som pics of d clothes while in a shop. To cut long story short the clothes arrived yesterday and she's really been bitter and had to tell me about it this morning. The 1st question I asked her was if she has had any occasion to doubt his trust and she said No and I told her to relax it might just be a harmless chat but I'm in a dilemma cos in the 1st place she can't talk about it since her source is his phone which she doesn't want him to know about.
‎

GboyegaD:

I grew up in that same generation as you and I think many parents missed it because many of those kids missed it because they got hardened with the beatings. I guess I was carried by my emotions and the fact that the punishment was way beyond necessary if the foundation isn't checked.

snazzylove:


I don't know the generation you belong to. But if you belong to my generation am not sure you would have spoken in dat manner.

Parenting styles differ. And here is Naija where 'koboko' has been used as a form or restoring sanity in kids since 19...

So are u saying that our parents were never fit to be parents??
Smh

GboyegaD:

I grew up in that same generation as you and I think many parents missed it because many of those kids missed it because they got hardened with the beatings. I guess I was carried by my emotions and the fact that the punishment was way beyond necessary if the foundation isn't checked.

snazzylove:

Even the bible said we should not spare the rod and spoil the child. If you read the post very well, she didn't beat on first and second occassion, but on the third, after she probably realized that talking may not do the job.
Yes she was extreme with the pepper stuff, buh am sure she knew its not detrimental to his health besides he's too young to understand.
I want to believe she is a good mother cos she doesn't want her son becoming something else tomorrow or start getting reports from his teachers that he's molesting his classmates in any way.

However like I said earlier, parenting styles differ.

pickabeau1: hmm... maybe a new thread should be opened so that the pros and cons of beating can be well discussed

cococandy: All those things are abuse.

Koboko that peels the skin
Pepper to the privates and eyes.

They are inhuman treatment that deserve jail time.

We can be kind and say those generation of parents didn't know better.
But it isn't ideal form of parenting.
And for all the mean punishment and all what not,is our society better for it?

They should be kept in the past. Where they belong!

pickabeau1: hmm... maybe a new thread should be opened so that the pros and cons of beating can be well discussed

Godmystrength: Did you say putting pepper on his kini is not detrimental to his health? i don't think so. Besides, the pepper ish might not make him stop because he's too young to understand the correlation between touching his kini and having pepper on it as punishment. The woman is harsh o.....if she can do this to her own son, how much more what she can do to another's child..

Godmystrength: but what the woman did is not even beating now. I can imagine the pain and all for the little boy

Oahray: seconded...

cococandy: Maybe he paid the EX for the cloths.

pickabeau1:

Beating, whipping, scolding etc or else this thread will be spoiled..however its you n snazzylove call..




I think so too

Godmystrength: i rest my case then.

snazzylove:

I rest my case too .

snazzylove:

buh I won't call occassional spanking of my childs bumbum an abuse. No.

beeevan: A 3 years old child understands very well and knows why he was punished, if pepper will stop that obscene behavior, then so be it. Kids can touch their stuff but usually when they are absent minded, this child seems to be paying so much attention to his thing and that's unusual. An adult may be abusing this child, this woman should keep her eyes on the ground .
Places where kids aren't spanked or punished, are they any better? If tough love is what it takes to set my child straight, i won't hesitate. Nah so rape they take start and if this rubbish doesn't stop, his lil sis go collect.
The pepper thing seems extreme but if it is effective, why not?

beeevan: A 3 years old child understands very well and knows why he was punished, if pepper will stop that obscene behavior, then so be it. Kids can touch their stuff but usually when they are absent minded, this child seems to be paying so much attention to his thing and that's unusual. An adult may be abusing this child, this woman should keep her eyes on the ground .


Places where kids aren't spanked or punished, are they any better? If tough love is what it takes to set my child straight, i won't hesitate. Nah so rape they take start and if this rubbish doesn't stop, his lil sis go collect.


The pepper thing seems extreme but if it is effective, why not?

pickabeau1: hmm... maybe a new thread should be opened so that the pros and cons of beating can be well discussed