Godmystrength: talk to her again and again with the hope that she will change, if she doesn't,ignore her (the silent treatment),if no changes, then pray for her .

On prayer to change a stubborn spouse... This may help since the technique worked for one guy based abroad
...https://www.nairaland.com/1864516/imperfections-marriage-pav-2

Wendy80:

He didn't pay. She said when she saw the clothes she asked how much he paid for the clothes and he said he didn't pay a dime and she went mute.

My hubby? Try this?
Lai lai. He will not wear those shirts oo. No fights. I will politely destroy them.
#JikTinz# Rubbish

I have been following quietly and I must commend everyone.
Marriage is for the strong and brave not for small boys and girls.
I have learnt and still learning.
I have been married for 4yrs and I can say I still feel like a learner but God dey.
Kudos everyone
Mi luff yah plenty

snazzylove:

My hubby? Try this?
Lai lai. He will not wear those shirts oo. No fights. I will politely destroy them.
#JikTinz# Rubbish

snazzylove:

My hubby? Try this?
Lai lai. He will not wear those shirts oo. No fights. I will politely destroy them.
#JikTinz# Rubbish

;Dif my husband tries it...it's his business because I can't come and die over an over grown baby dt refuses to stop been spoon fed.
I will even ask why he didn't get my size let's do to match.
I have seen too much to allow anybody give me BP or die prematurely. My daughter is too special to suffer so I better laugh n stay alive for her

kokox:
;Dif my husband tries it...it's his business because I can't come and die over an over grown baby dt refuses to stop been spoon fed.
I will even ask why he didn't get my size let's do to match.
I have seen too much to allow anybody give me BP or die prematurely. My daughter is too special to suffer so I better laugh n stay alive for her

Lol. Somthings are better imagined.

@ Snazzy laffin so hard @ bleach thns.
@ kokox lol @ doin to match.
Anyway I told her since d chat is all about sending clothes and nothn more she shouldn't "kee" herself jare. But should be vigilant sha.
If ex chose to be sending clothes to a man who left her to marry som1 else na she know oh make she no go find her own husband

Wendy80: @ Snazzy laffin so hard @ bleach thns.
@ kokox lol @ doin to match.
Anyway I told her since d chat is all about sending clothes and nothn more she shouldn't "kee" herself jare. But should be vigilant sha.
If ex chose to be sending clothes to a man who left her to marry som1 else na she know oh make she no go find her own husband

It's guilty conscience disturbing your friend and it will keep worrying her she dated him knowing he had a babe hence she will always worry about his loyalty since he was not loyal to this seemingly nice woman he may not be loyal to her who was a full participant in breaking the other woman's heart.

She can snoop from today till thy Kingdom come she will always need to watch her back. See how mean women can be to other women, see the nasty things you are saying, what did the woman do to your friend? She was on her own your friend came and dated her boyfriend then married him. Your friend may have been too desperate afterwards to properly define her marriage she just wanted a husband.
Anyway, the relationship and marriage started on a deceitful ground so let her deal with it with her husband and not needlessly drag the other woman because of her status.

If no one else will say the truth I will. Women stop being mean to each other, your friend is the reason why men will be saying women are each others worst enemies forgetting the millions of other women who look out for others na the bad ones we go hear

aisha2:

It's guilty conscience disturbing your friend and it will keep worrying her she dated him knowing he had a babe hence she will always worry about his loyalty since he was not loyal to this seemingly nice woman he may not be loyal to her who was a full participant in breaking the other woman's heart.

She can snoop from today till thy Kingdom come she will always need to watch her back. See how mean women can be to other women, see the nasty things you are saying, what did the woman do to your friend? She was on her own your friend came and dated her boyfriend then married him. Your friend may have been too desperate afterwards to properly define her marriage she just wanted a husband.
Anyway, the relationship and marriage started on a deceitful ground so let her deal with it with her husband and not needlessly drag the other woman because of her status.

If no one else will say the truth I will. Women stop being mean to each other, your friend is the reason why men will be saying women are each others worst enemies forgetting the millions of other women who look out for others na the bad ones we go hear

I stated clearly she's my mate not friend. Besides every relationship doesn't end up ii marriage. If my broda inlaw left d oda lady for her then I think he Shd stick to her. I know a numba of good relationship dat Ddnt end up in marriage. For me I don't think I can buy clothes for a man who left me for anoda woman(for Wetin na) just to show I'm nice or probably still in love.. #myopinion

For me I don't think I can buy clothes for a man who left me for anoda woman(for Wetin na) just to show I'm nice or probably still in love.. #myopinion[/quote]
Women and our wahala
She should just ignore him and ask for ha own size o

Wendy80:
I stated clearly she's my mate not friend. Besides every relationship doesn't end up ii marriage. If my broda inlaw left d oda lady for her then I think he Shd stick to her. I know a numba of good relationship dat Ddnt end up in marriage. For me I don't think I can buy clothes for a man who left me for anoda woman(for Wetin na) just to show I'm nice or probably still in love.. #myopinion

Well that is you, no need to abuse her because she is still single.

Once a woman is single then she becomes the target of all sorts of insults and humiliation from other women.
Your mate should sort her insecurities with her husband and the lady should not be told condescendingly to go and look for husband.

Yes not all relationships end in marriage but a decent person dates one who is not in a relationship with another person. Anyone who does that usually spends most of their time trying to avoid someone else doing same to them.

Wendy80: Good Morn E-Family, Not been here in awhile. Been very very busy lately jare. But I get gist 2day sha des an issue concerning my mate and I don't know how to handle it.
She's been married for 5years now. According to her b4 she got married to her hubby, he was dating someone who resides in the UK and they were still very much 2geda but She still went ahead to date him. She was aware of d Chick in the UK but didn't really care since she's here with him, eventually he married her‎.
She's been worrying her hubby 2get som Tshirts for himself (for himself oh)to replace d wornout ones he has and h‎e agreed. Just 2weeks ago she stumbled on chat btw hubby n Ex about helping him to get some Tshirts and sending dem thru a friend who's in d UK for hols. She agreed and even sent him som pics of d clothes while in a shop. To cut long story short the clothes arrived yesterday and she's really been bitter and had to tell me about it this morning. The 1st question I asked her was if she has had any occasion to doubt his trust and she said No and I told her to relax it might just be a harmless chat but I'm in a dilemma cos in the 1st place she can't talk about it since her source is his phone which she doesn't want him to know about.
‎

Why is she bittered? let her just face her work and ignore the US babe since she was aware of her before marriage and still went ahead to marry her husband (sorry o but to me she is a man snatcher)

The same way she didn't care about the US woman when she was dating her husband, she should just continue like that since she is here with him as usual

What even gives her the impression that the relationship between her husband and the US babe is over? There is really no much difference between now and when she was dating the man IMO. The only difference is that she has a ring on her own finger. Shikena. She might never be the only woman in the man's life.

As she get mind snatch person bobo she suppose still get mind dey fight her battle (cos battle dey oo). Its well sha.
The bottom line is that the man is 'hers' now, legally, so make d man maintain too. Even if he married her out of 'neccessity'.

Just showed her ds thread to read and digest by herself
Godmystrength me I don't believe in man snatching thns jare when a man wants to cheat he cheats. I remember when I was dating my hubby, des ds babe who knew us together who was always calling him and sending him iloveu text. Wheneva I com around she will com to the house and be forming friend with me mnwhile she neva knew I know her finish. When we got married she stopped talking to me(goodriddance).
If my hubby had fallen for her will I say she snatched him? For me he chose to follow her.
#myopinion

snazzylove: As she get mind snatch person bobo she suppose still get mind dey fight her battle (cos battle dey oo). Its well sha.
The bottom line is that the man is 'hers' now, legally, so make d man maintain too. Even if he married her out of 'neccessity'.

Na so e easy to maintain? You think it is easy to change a cheating man overnight? no way. The man sef no pure now. He dey date plenty babes all together and wendy's mate just manage to cage him

Wendy80: Just showed her ds thread to read and digest by herself
Godmystrength me I don't believe in man snatching thns jare when a man wants to cheat he cheats. I remember when I was dating my hubby, des ds babe who knew us together who was always calling him and sending him iloveu text. Wheneva I com around she will com to the house and be forming friend with me mnwhile she neva knew I know her finish. When we got married she stopped talking to me(goodriddance).
If my hubby had fallen for her will I say she snatched him? For me he chose to follow her.
#myopinion

So are you saying your mate is not to be blamed but her husband? both of them are to be blamed. I don't blame the US babe. the only thing i don't agree with is her buying t shirts for someone that left her to marry another woman. But what do i know? who knows the arrangement/agreement between Nigeria husband and US babe....

Godmystrength: So are you saying your mate is not to be blamed but her husband? both of them are to be blamed. I don't blame the US babe. the only thing i don't agree with is her buying t shirts for someone that left her to marry another woman. But what do i know? who knows the arrangement/agreement between Nigeria husband and US babe....

U sure say d US babe no be wife too. #thinkingwildly#

Wendy80: Just showed her ds thread to read and digest by herself
Godmystrength me I don't believe in man snatching thns jare when a man wants to cheat he cheats. I remember when I was dating my hubby, des ds babe who knew us together who was always calling him and sending him iloveu text. Wheneva I com around she will com to the house and be forming friend with me mnwhile she neva knew I know her finish. When we got married she stopped talking to me(goodriddance).
If my hubby had fallen for her will I say she snatched him? For me he chose to follow her.
#myopinion

I also don't believe in the man snatching issue, the man is an adult and he made a choice. However, if that babe married your husband will she have the moral justification to shout if she suspects anything knowing how she got him? Hence for any decent person who wants to build a good relationship foundation you do it right from the start.

What I found mean from the first post was the statement about finding her own husband, so far she has not done anything mean to deserve that, being single is not a crime one should be made to feel bad about. Your mate should ask her husband for the full transaction details first before tagging her.
I don't think any woman should use a husband or lack of it to speak down against another woman, we can all be in her shoes and may have been at one time or the other, if your mate has any issues her husband should answer. It is not the woman's fault that she is not married, it shouldn't be used to score cheap points

Off topic, I knew one guy who assumed he was all that and every woman wanted to snatch him lol.funniest thing to watch

Godmystrength: So are you saying your mate is not to be blamed but her husband? both of them are to be blamed. I don't blame the US babe. the only thing i don't agree with is her buying t shirts for someone that left her to marry another woman. But what do i know? who knows the arrangement/agreement between Nigeria husband and US babe....

Me personally I'm not down with I have a girlfriend but u can still be my girlfriend kind of man. Some girls will tell u as long as he's not married to her I can date him(i can't cos I'm d jealous type). That's where I hold her, but I won't say she snatched him cos d man opened his eyes very well and let go of his UK babe to settle down wth her. den for the husband he chose Whc is beta for him afta sampling dem and for the babe in the UK might just be a harmless friend and maybe nothn is going on btw dem. Like I told my mate it myt just be a gift and she should leave it @dat. 5yrs and 2kids is a long time for me to start tellin her u know he had a girl b4 u dated him.
#myopinion

Wendy80:
Me personally I'm not down with I have a girlfriend but u can still be my girlfriend kind of man. Some girls will tell u as long as he's not married to her I can date him(i can't cos I'm d jealous type). That's where I hold her, but I won't say she snatched him cos d man opened his eyes very well and let go of his UK babe to settle down wth her. den for the husband he chose Whc is beta for him afta sampling dem and for the babe in the UK might just be a harmless friend and maybe nothn is going on btw dem. Like I told my mate it myt just be a gift and she should leave it @dat. 5yrs and 2kids is a long time for me to start tellin her u know he had a girl b4 u dated him.
#myopinion

My use of the word ''man snatcher'' is just a niger slang and you should know what i mean by that. But IMO, since the husband choose her over the US babe, she should manage that assurance that he will keep on choosing her over and over again over the US babe. So no problem....

Wendy80:
Me personally I'm not down with I have a girlfriend but u can still be my girlfriend kind of man. Some girls will tell u as long as he's not married to her I can date him(i can't cos I'm d jealous type). That's where I hold her, but I won't say she snatched him cos d man opened his eyes very well and let go of his UK babe to settle down wth her. den for the husband he chose Whc is beta for him afta sampling dem and for the babe in the UK might just be a harmless friend and maybe nothn is going on btw dem. Like I told my mate it myt just be a gift and she should leave it @dat. 5yrs and 2kids is a long time for me to start tellin her u know he had a girl b4 u dated him.

S
#myopinion

Sadly even after 20 years she will still feel some insecurity

aisha2:

I also don't believe in the man snatching issue, the man is an adult and he made a choice. However, if that babe married your husband will she have the moral justification to shout if she suspects anything knowing how she got him? Hence for any decent person who wants to build a good relationship foundation you do it right from the start.

What I found mean from the first post was the statement about finding her own husband, so far she has not done anything mean to deserve that, being single is not a crime one should be made to feel bad about. Your mate should ask her husband for the full transaction details first before tagging her.
I don't think any woman should use a husband or lack of it to speak down against another woman, we can all be in her shoes and may have been at one time or the other, if your mate has any issues her husband should answer. It is not the woman's fault that she is not married, it shouldn't be used to score cheap points

Off topic, I knew one guy who assumed he was all that and every woman wanted to snatch him lol.funniest thing to watch

When I say find her own husband isn't to ridicule or abuse her cos I don't know her. Wht I meant is she Shd know ds Man is taken and such gift won't go down well wth most wives.

Wendy80:

When I say find her own husband isn't to ridicule or abuse her cos I don't know her. Wht I meant is she Shd know ds Man is taken and such gift won't go down well wth most wives.

Well the wife should learn the full details of the transaction first before anything.

aisha2:
Sadly even after 20 years she will still feel some insecurity

You are right. I wanted to say dat 5yrs is long enough for her to develop some level of trust, but then I remembered my mum.
My daddy was ill so we suggested dat we get a nanny to be assisting my mum with house chores, (by the way daddy is in his 7o's). Mummy initially agreed, we got one, d day she(nanny) was supposed to resume duty, she didn't show up, we all thot mummy will be unhappy, surprisingly when I called her to find out how she's coping and to assure her dat we will get another nanny, guess what she said?
I couldn't stop laughing, she said abeg oo, she doesn't need any nanny, before they 'snatch' her husband from her
I was like which husband person wan 'snatch'
Seventy something yrs old man datz wat my momma is protecting. I wan laff die

https://www.nairaland.com/elantracey

To answer your question on the other thread. What made me leave? Infidelity, due to work we lived in different citieswith regular visits. A lady called and attacked me once I raised the issue with him and he convinced me she was just a desperate lady who wanted to destroy our relationship.

When the wedding was announced she came forward and said she was pregnant. It was as if my whole world collapsed, that was my life for years, some said I should go ahead and still marry, some asked where I would start from if I left, some reasoned I was not getting younger so accept it. I thought long and hard, remembered all the lies and denials, all the sneaky things, I told myself I would have to deal with this and other ladies in future was I ready? I was not.
So I left, it was hard especially as subsequent relationships didn't go smoothly, I started doubting my decision of wanting a partner who didn't see cheating as a right.

Why I didn't see it? I thought I knew him. I try to see the best in people till they give me a real reason to doubt them. We were in different cities even though we were always doing weekend visits with plans of relocation after the wedding, thankfully I hadn't quit my job then I was to put in my letter the next week when this happened.
However, it was his decision to cheat even if we were in the same town the same house if he wanted to cheat he still would same with me. It was also my decision. Not to stay and I am glad I did even if I had remained unmarried forever it would still have been the right decision.

aisha2: https://www.nairaland.com/elantracey

To answer your question on the other thread. What made me leave? Infidelity, due to work we lived in different citieswith regular visits. A lady called and attacked me once I raised the issue with him and he convinced me she was just a desperate lady who wanted to destroy our relationship.

When the wedding was announced she came forward and said she was pregnant. It was as if my whole world collapsed, that was my life for years, some said I should go ahead and still marry, some asked where I would start from if I left, some reasoned I was not getting younger so accept it. I thought long and hard, remembered all the lies and denials, all the sneaky things, I told myself I would have to deal with this and other ladies in future was I ready? I was not.
So I left, it was hard especially as subsequent relationships didn't go smoothly, I started doubting my decision of wanting a partner who didn't see cheating as a right.

Why I didn't see it? I thought I knew him. I try to see the best in people till they give me a real reason to doubt them. We were in different cities even though we were always doing weekend visits with plans of relocation after the wedding, thankfully I hadn't quit my job then I was to put in my letter the next week when this happened.
However, it was his decision to cheat even if we were in the same town the same house if he wanted to cheat he still would same with me. It was also my decision. Not to stay and I am glad I did even if I had remained unmarried forever it would still have been the right decision.

wow , that must have hurt pretty much , hmmmm its really not so easy to detect a lying tongue Especially on someone you just completely trust .

Elantracey:

wow , that must have hurt pretty much , hmmmm its really not so easy to detect a lying tongue Especially on someone you just completely trust .

And there are people who have been through much worse,I have a friend who dated all through school and the guy was a medical student, they were together for roughly 8 years when they were to get married. Even at that point she was working and earning very well he was serving, the girl actually interrupted the main wedding, they had to wait till she gave birth for a dna test because the guy was denying the pregnancy, after another 1 year guy turned out to be the father so give and take 9 years gone and it took her a year or 2 to be mentally ready to rate, she married at 33

aisha2:

And there are people who have been through much worse,I have a friend who dated all through school and the guy was a medical student, they were together for roughly 8 years when they were to get married. Even at that point she was working and earning very well he was serving, the girl actually interrupted the main wedding, they had to wait till she gave birth for a dna test because the guy was denying the pregnancy, after another 1 year guy turned out to be the father so give and take 9 years gone and it took her a year or 2 to be mentally ready to rate, she married at 33

aisha2: https://www.nairaland.com/elantracey

To answer your question on the other thread. What made me leave? Infidelity, due to work we lived in different citieswith regular visits. A lady called and attacked me once I raised the issue with him and he convinced me she was just a desperate lady who wanted to destroy our relationship.

When the wedding was announced she came forward and said she was pregnant. It was as if my whole world collapsed, that was my life for years, some said I should go ahead and still marry, some asked where I would start from if I left, some reasoned I was not getting younger so accept it. I thought long and hard, remembered all the lies and denials, all the sneaky things, I told myself I would have to deal with this and other ladies in future was I ready? I was not.
So I left, it was hard especially as subsequent relationships didn't go smoothly, I started doubting my decision of wanting a partner who didn't see cheating as a right.

Why I didn't see it? I thought I knew him. I try to see the best in people till they give me a real reason to doubt them. We were in different cities even though we were always doing weekend visits with plans of relocation after the wedding, thankfully I hadn't quit my job then I was to put in my letter the next week when this happened.
However, it was his decision to cheat even if we were in the same town the same house if he wanted to cheat he still would same with me. It was also my decision. Not to stay and I am glad I did even if I had remained unmarried forever it would still have been the right decision.

wow! I can so relate with this post. Some girls are very desperate. Am glad you made the right decision. How would you have coped with another woman having a child for your hubby?

[color=#990000][/color]

aisha2: https://www.nairaland.com/elantracey

To answer your question on the other thread. What made me leave? Infidelity, due to work we lived in different citieswith regular visits. A lady called and attacked me once I raised the issue with him and he convinced me she was just a desperate lady who wanted to destroy our relationship.

When the wedding was announced she came forward and said she was pregnant. It was as if my whole world collapsed, that was my life for years, some said I should go ahead and still marry, some asked where I would start from if I left, some reasoned I was not getting younger so accept it. I thought long and hard, remembered all the lies and denials, all the sneaky things, I told myself I would have to deal with this and other ladies in future was I ready? I was not.
So I left, it was hard especially as subsequent relationships didn't go smoothly, I started doubting my decision of wanting a partner who didn't see cheating as a right.

Why I didn't see it? I thought I knew him. I try to see the best in people till they give me a real reason to doubt them. We were in different cities even though we were always doing weekend visits with plans of relocation after the wedding, thankfully I hadn't quit my job then I was to put in my letter the next week when this happened.
However, it was his decision to cheat even if we were in the same town the same house if he wanted to cheat he still would same with me. It was also my decision. Not to stay and I am glad I did even if I had remained unmarried forever it would still have been the right decision.

Thank God u stood ur ground not minding wat ppl were saying. A cheat can barely change except with the help of God.
Imagine having to deal with worse things after being married to him.
The other woman n child wud forever be in your life whether u like it or nt.
Not worth it at all
Kudos for being daring and strong

[color=#990000][/color]

aisha2:

And there are people who have been through much worse,I have a friend who dated all through school and the guy was a medical student, they were together for roughly 8 years when they were to get married. Even at that point she was working and earning very well he was serving, the girl actually interrupted the main wedding, they had to wait till she gave birth for a dna test because the guy was denying the pregnancy, after another 1 year guy turned out to be the father so give and take 9 years gone and it took her a year or 2 to be mentally ready to rate, she married at 33

Hmmmm why can't some men just be truthful and kip their 3rd legs in their pants?9yrs gone down the drain....its well.
I can't just imagine the lady's pain.

kokox: [color=#990000][/color]
Hmmmm why can't some men just be truthful and kip their 3rd legs in their pants?9yrs gone down the drain....its well.
I can't just imagine the lady's pain.

God is faithful still imagine if it came out after the wedding