Yea. Do that

Wendy80:
I didn't ask her about payment but I will find out from her sha.

She needs to be sure before she gets upset over nothing

Me don't think the punishment was extreme if its not detrimental to his health. When I was growing up their use to be these family friend we use t have their son was just extremely stubborn all methods proved abortive. The parents was frustrated, when it was too much they took him to remand home at yaba or so they left him there for 3 days una when he came back the guy brain reset. Now the guy is one responsible dude now. Me self I don't chop some kind beatings that when I remember self I just thank God say them beat the devil comot. Shebi its the bible that says in the heart of a child is madness but with better cane it would be chased out(modified)

A remand home is like a form of juvie right?
As long as it is legal and recognized,
Totally cool.

temi4fash: Me don't think the punishment was extreme if its not detrimental to his health. When I was growing up their use to be these family friend we use t have their son was just extremely stubborn all methods proved abortive. The parents was frustrated, when it was too much they took him to remand home at yaba or so they left him there for 3 days una when he came back the guy brain reset. Now the guy is one responsible dude now. Me self I don't chop some kind beatings that when I remember self I just thank God say them beat the devil comot. Shebi its the bible that says in the heart of a child is madness but with better cane it would be chased out(modified)

Snazzy your friend is already shying away from s*ex education. She might have passed the message but not the why. The boy may confront whoever he learnt it from that its bad and the person may say otherwise and even encourage him to do it in mum's absence(even if its not the case, he may carry the curiosity to the wrong source in the near future). She should deal with the root cause. A lady once caught her 2yr old daughter sucking her bro(4yrs) di*k, she was shocked and asked. The lil gal said 'thats how daddy usually ask me to do his'. She confronted her hubby who denied(but i believed the lil gal). This boy definityly picked it from somewhere. So she should gently ask the boy where he learnt to do it so as to remove him from the source, then give him se*x education his lil mind can comprehend like no body should touch his kini else he reports to mum, touching his kini the way he does is a bad behaviour for a child just like lying and stealing etc.

cococandy: A remand home is like a form of juvie right?
As long as it is legal and recognized,
Totally cool.

yea I think so.. Heard its a place for stubborn kids under 18 so we were told when we young..

It's cool.

temi4fash: yea I think so.. Heard its a place for stubborn kids under 18 so we were told when we young..

cococandy: All na parenting.

And for all we know,it may be causing issues between some couples.

Chill.

You also should chill
You have strong opinions on spanking..have u forgotten we have discussed before
Raising a new thread will not lay this one to a wasteland

I'm going to break the no insult rule today
Snazzy your friend is a fackin wicked witch.She should be crucified upside down and pepper stuffed down her vajay,eyes and mouth.
I know how hubby cries like ayamatanga when there's excess pepper in food not to talk about a 3 year old that's just a toddler,a baby for Chrissakes!
Na her type de give pesin pikin electric cooker treatment.
There are gentler ways of helping a child stop a terrible habit.She didn't even spank his bum,she put pepper in his genitals.!!!!!
Can you Imagine the agony this baby must have experienced? An adult that understands what pain is would be screaming,not to talk of a kid,a freaking toddler!
There is a reason for every behaviour in children especially the formative years...Its something some children do till they are even 5.. It's exploration and curiosity which is normal in kids that age.You have to keep on correcting,reprimanding,giving time out,if you have to,a tap on the bum(some even cane)...I believe that persistent talking and correcting could work wonders.
Ask the baby why he's touching his peepee,is it itchy?is he in pain? Does he want to wee wee? If no,then you tell him to stop..monitor him,keep stopping and reminding him sternly.Eventually it will end.

We should learn that there's a difference between discipline and brutality.

Googled it and many parents have the same complaints..They are advised to keep talking.
I will post some of the advice that i found a bit palatable.

1.
It is simple curiosity, and really nothing to worry about, but obviously you don't want him to do it in inappropriate places, so my suggestion is to do what we did with a little girl I used to work with. She was 4 and was always putting her hand in her knickers. Whenever she did this we would send her to wash her hands. She got sick of having to leave her play or whatever and gradually learned not to do it. Don't teach your son that he is doing anything 'bad,' just explain that is where his urine comes out which might have germs in, so he has to wash his hands after touching there.

2.
It's simple curiousity. He's certainly not seeing it as a s ex object, and he's not getting se xual pleasure by touching it. That being said, it is not appropriate for him to touch his pe nis unless he's going potty or in the bathtub. And you should tell him "no" when he's not in those two situations.

3.

i was worried at first when i see my son 'handling' himself but not to worry. they r just amazed at their body. its a kind of a 'comfort zone' some call it? some kids dig nose. some scratch a ss & smell.

humans! lol
good luck

From a frustrated mom

my son is now 3 and has been touching himself for about a yr now at least since he's been out of diapers.. he has been caught at daycare one to many times and its starting to anger me.. what do i do? i've asked him why he keeps doing it and of he obviously doesnt know why other than it tickles.. what do i do. i'm afraid of parents of other kids in the same room making a big deal.. i've talked to the teachers but they cant stop him either. when he's at home and i see him i tell him no and he stops but at school he hides in other places and keeps doing it. i've told him that he has to keep his private a secret so that he doesnt take it out and show other kids but now he's doing it under the covers during naptime. no one i know has ever had this problem with their boys and i'm starting to feel embarrassed about it. i must have turn 5 shades red today when the teacher told me he decided to use his spoon to pleasure himself. he has never done that here... what do i do .. how do i tell this boy not to do it. i dont aprove of this at all and to me it is not ok to do it. and i'm frustrated plz help?

ANSWERS


Unfortunately it is one of those things that is perfectly natural and normal- exploring and discovering our bodies, that doesn't quite fit into our society.never make him feel ashamed over it- you'll give him all kinds of hangups later in life. Explain, like maybe going to the bathroom, that although it feels good and it is his body, he can not do it anywhere anytime. Show him how other men and boys don't do it in public and that it's private, not dirty, just private. Boys seem to be facinated w/ their privates all their life (lol), so I think he's perfectly normal. Add to the list of embarassing things kids do....


2.

Not unknown with young children.
From young they play with their fingers and toes.
Important not to make a fuss so that it does not become a big issue in his mind.
Quietly ask him not to...but in any case he's likely to grow out of it.

3.

Kympen, he has no concept of the "magnitude" (oops ) of the importance of that organ. Even when I was 9, after going to the zoo and seeing (what I did not know was a male) a large zebra, I promptly went home and drew him complete with his long dangling male organ, utterly, blissfully oblivious to the fact that it was not simply some sort of tail or "trunk." Only when my father told me, "You don't need to include that," and I answered (totally puzzled and confused) "Why not?" and he replied with a strange tone of voice and facial expression, "It's just not proper," THEN did I realize that it had something to do with private parts. I felt exceeding shame about something that should have never been made an issue.

4.
This has worked beautifully for me. Whenever he does it, gently and kindly smile, and say, "Those parts are special and they are just for you. We have to treat them with respect." Then just take his hand away if he doesn't immediately stop. As long as he learns to treat this part of himself with the appropriate reverence, he will stop doing it as soon as he is developmentally ready.

My nephew who is 3yrs virtually pulls his p*enis weneva he is idle. Even wen clothed, his hand alwaz find a way of gettin dere. My sis tells him she'll put needle and methlated spirit(he is scared of both) on his p*enis and immediately, he removes his hand. U can reprimand a child but puttin pepper on a child's private is child abuse, barbaric, inhumane and wicked. Social workers shud take d child frm u. It means u will do worse if he does smtin more than dis

snazzylove:

Even the bible said we should not spare the rod and spoil the child. If you read the post very well, she didn't beat on first and second occassion, but on the third, after she probably realized that talking may not do the job.
Yes she was extreme with the pepper stuff, buh am sure she knew its not detrimental to his health besides he's too young to understand.
I want to believe she is a good mother cos she doesn't want her son becoming something else tomorrow or start getting reports from his teachers that he's molesting his classmates in any way.

However like I said earlier, parenting styles differ.

If she doesn't address the root cause of the problem then she hasn't stopped him but has thought the child to pretend. Anyways, I wish them all well.

emeraldoe: My nephew who is 3yrs virtually pulls his p*enis weneva he is idle. Even wen clothed, his hand alwaz find a way of gettin dere. My sis tells him she'll put needle and methlated spirit(he is scared of both) on his p*enis and immediately, he removes his hand. U can reprimand a child but puttin pepper on a child's private is child abuse, barbaric, inhumane and wicked. Social workers shud take d child frm u. It means u will do worse if he does smtin more than dis

My nephew is like too. Does he suck his tongue or bite his lips while touching his pee pee absent mindedly?

hispinkolo: I'm going to break the no insult rule today
Snazzy your friend is a fackin wicked witch.She should be crucified upside down and pepper stuffed down her vajay,eyes and mouth..

U are banned

Meanwhile wia u hide since

But we weren't talking about spanking were we?
We were on the koboko and pepper angle.

Anyway I've chilled.

pickabeau1:

You also should chill
You have strong opinions on spanking..have u forgotten we have discussed before
Raising a new thread will not lay this one to a wasteland

cococandy:

Not the same as pepper and koboko. Those are extreme so I get gboyegad's annoyance.



I think she should have even been more concerned about finding out why he's doing it.
Maybe things they see or watch when no one is looking or more dangerously if someone somewhere is touching him.

Most times someone somewhere is touching or masturbates in his presence . Most parents are extremely careless, as far as kids are concerned everyone is a suspect. Stuffs like this is why am extremely paranoid about live ins of any sort. When kids go outside, they reflect what they are taught at home. My 4yrs old reported a girl for opening her pants in class today and that was the first thing he told me when I came to pick him, i told him that he did well. Kids are sensitive and an irresponsible adult around them is pure disaster.

True

beeevan:



Most times someone somewhere is touching or masturbates in his presence . Most parents are extremely careless, as far as kids are concerned everyone is a suspect. Stuffs like this is why am extremely paranoid about live ins of any sort. When kids go outside, they reflect what they are taught at home. My 4yrs old reported a girl for opening her pants in class today and that was the first thing he told me when I came to pick him, i told him that he did well. Kids are sensitive and an irresponsible adult around them is pure disaster.

alutacontinua:

and now, beevan sounds like my mother when I was growing up
I love my parents but when I remember how much I went through in the name of 'correction'

really, african parents need to tone it down. Pepper on a lil boy's di*k, WTF

Lol, the pepper thing really get as e be but I really hope it stops this di*ck tugging youngster in his track. This woman needs to look around her and know what's going on with this child.

cococandy: But we weren't talking about spanking were we?
We were on the koboko and pepper angle.

Anyway I've chilled.

OK...fair enough

cococandy: Yea. Do that
She needs to be sure before she gets upset over nothing

He didn't pay. She said when she saw the clothes she asked how much he paid for the clothes and he said he didn't pay a dime and she went mute.

Pepper discipline ke? @ this age and time? That's a big No No from me. Don't think I can ever do that to anybody, how much more my child. #SMH

hispinkolo: @bellong,
Hahahahahahaha I knew you'd mention being like Jesus...

@zeb04
Trust me when I say you can be nice to someone you resent.I am now an expert at it.Basic niceness not over extending myself kind of niceness.

Husband isn't confrontational,won't crucify you but will leave you to bear the heat alone.In some situations it's best to avoid anything that will lead to feeling that heat at all and that's why I decided to join the o Yes members.

The day I'll explode shaaaa hehehehehehehehehe

SEEMS your sweet heart is just too cold to keep a vibrant woman like u at home?he should be happy he has some one lik u by his side,all d same,pls keep your bp in check all d time.you do not want TO get into more health troubles.but how come u are so close to your inlaws?are u people staying in d same enviroment?how far apart are you all (in terms of residence)

Godspearl: Family and inlaw trouble can b so annoying,My hubby's family had a meeting and my hubby's immediate broda talked abt me dt I don't usually participate wheneva they have party dt I jst come like a guest.I wasn't bodad cuz I knew its d wife dt told him all dt jst bcuz wen my brodainlaw was graduating from seminary I dint help her personally wit cookin I sent my maid to help... fast forward yesterday my brodainlaws wife called dt she wants to do a surprise bday party fr her husband.(d husbands bday is july 30 bt she wants to do d party 3rd august) which falls on my hubby's bday. What shld I do as I don't want dere wahala again.

YOU DO NOT WANT COCOANUTS BROKEN ON YOUR HEADS DO U?pls ensure you help wit cooking this time ma,even if u stil wil send your maids.that will help calm nerves.you actually didnt do well by that first action.

PLS MARRIED PEEPS,how do u cope wit a never apologising wife and a talking down wife,after many appeals?

hispinkolo: I'm going to break the no insult rule today
Snazzy your friend is a fackin wicked witch.She should be crucified upside down and pepper stuffed down her vajay,eyes and mouth.
I know how hubby cries like ayamatanga when there's excess pepper in food not to talk about a 3 year old that's just a toddler,a baby for Chrissakes!
Na her type de give pesin pikin electric cooker treatment.
There are gentler ways of helping a child stop a terrible habit.She didn't even spank his bum,she put pepper in his genitals.!!!!!
Can you Imagine the agony this baby must have experienced? An adult that understands what pain is would be screaming,not to talk of a kid,a freaking toddler!
There is a reason for every behaviour in children especially the formative years...Its something some children do till they are even 5.. It's exploration and curiosity which is normal in kids that age.You have to keep on correcting,reprimanding,giving time out,if you have to,a tap on the bum(some even cane)...I believe that persistent talking and correcting could work wonders.
Ask the baby why he's touching his peepee,is it itchy?is he in pain? Does he want to wee wee? If no,then you tell him to stop..monitor him,keep stopping and reminding him sternly.Eventually it will end.

We should learn that there's a difference between discipline and brutality.

May God bless you real good. My thoughts exactly. Children that age don't just wake up & start doing weird stuffs, he's either seen someone do it or someone has done it REPEATEDLY. My 2yr old son would always experiment anything he sees others do. He's a fast learner, during this summer lesson, he used his teeth on a child s back in his class, I couldn't believe it, infact I tot the teacher was telling lies. When I told hubby, my mom & a friend the 1st they ALL said was "its a lie Ryan can't do that", cos he's more on the quiet side than a rough child. Until he tried to bite another child. He learnt it from my sis' kids, whenever we visit them and he takes their toys, 1 of the boys uses his teeth on him. So @Snazzy, that action was really inhumane for a 3yr old child haba

Maybe she needs some spanking or some pepper in her VJ. *just joking * brb. Let me analyse that n come post my suggestion.

gidjah: PLS MARRIED PEEPS,how do u cope wit a never apologising wife and a talking down wife,after many appeals?

gidjah: PLS MARRIED PEEPS,how do u cope wit a never apologising wife and a talking down wife,after many appeals?

Speak to her about it, if she doesn't change, try the silent treatment till she comes to her senses.

beeevan:



Speak to her about it, if she doesn't change, try the silent treatment till she comes to her senses.

YOU mean like ignoring her,stop attendin to her,keepin her out of my mind?

gidjah: YOU mean like ignoring her,stop attendin to her,keepin her out of my mind?

Yes, can you do that? You don't have to keep her out of your mind but you have to pretend you did, it might force her to buckle up.

softsparkyy:
My nephew is like too. Does he suck his tongue or bite his lips while touching his pee pee absent mindedly?

he doesn't

gidjah: PLS MARRIED PEEPS,how do u cope wit a never apologising wife and a talking down wife,after many appeals?

talk to her again and again with the hope that she will change, if she doesn't,ignore her (the silent treatment),if no changes, then pray for her .

So his ex buys him clothes.
As a gift or what?

I can see why the wife is unhappy about it.not only is it not appropriate,it belittles him.
maybe he doesn't know that.

Wendy80:

He didn't pay. She said when she saw the clothes she asked how much he paid for the clothes and he said he didn't pay a dime and she went mute.