Often times, we do meet people and fall in love with them despite their many shortcomings. Unfortunately, most books and articles we read these days tell us not to try to change people we are in a relationship with. This has however become the undoing of many unhappy relationships and marriages today, as people don't want to be CHANGED.
The fact is that someone can get committed to a terrible flirt, a drunkard, criminal, an abusive man, nagging woman and other shortcomings, but no one would want to have to cope with your vices for life.

I am of the honest belief that we get into people's life to impact them and bring about a positive behaviour in them even though that shouldn't be motivated by the desire to change the person. Such behaviour modification should come about with love and openness between both parties.

If you happen to have an undesirable character your partner is having a hard time coping with, make yourself amenable to change unless you want your partner to be unhappy thereby making yourself unhappy too. (Now that is a horrible decision to make) friendship should be fun and when it is not, it should be two people commonly dealing with a challenge and not people struggling to stay together.

If you cant influence anyone you're with positively and push them to be better, then you must be doing something wrong but you have to be realistic in your expectations and the way you go about effecting that change. Key thing here should be communication & Approach

Atigbo eeeee,osheeeeeee

mcdokwe: Often times, we do meet people and fall in love with them despite their many shortcomings. Unfortunately, most books and articles we read these days tell us not to try to change people we are in a relationship with. This has however become the undoing of many unhappy relationships and marriages today, as people don't want to be CHANGED.
The fact is that someone can get committed to a terrible flirt, a drunkard, criminal, an abusive man, nagging woman and other shortcomings, but no one would want to have to cope with your vices for life.

I am of the honest belief that we get into people's life to impact them and bring about a positive behaviour in them even though that shouldn't be motivated by the desire to change the person. Such behaviour modification should come about with love and openness between both parties.

If you happen to have an undesirable character your partner is having a hard time coping with, make yourself amenable to change unless you want your partner to be unhappy thereby making yourself unhappy too. (Now that is a horrible decision to make) friendship should be fun and when it is not, it should be two people commonly dealing with a challenge and not people struggling to stay together.

Sometimes people are not ready for the change so all your efforts to motivate them will lead to constant friction. Everyone grows at their own pace and some people will not grow since you cannot force things you either accept them as they are or you walk away.

In all things its always better to be the change you want to see.

andromida:

Sometimes people are not ready for the change so all your efforts to motivate them will lead to constant friction. Everyone grows at their own pace and some people will not grow since you cannot force things you either accept them as they are or you walk away.

In all things its always better to be the change you want to see.

it is all about choice like you said, but some people want to be in relationships but don't want to have adaptive behaviours to the expectations of their partners

chidimarc: it is all about choice like you said, but some people want to be in relationships but don't want to have adaptive behaviours to the expectations of their partners

Love is about acceptance. Yes you can inspire a person to change but rather than get with someone with plans to change him or her it is better to accept the person as is. If you cannot accept the person walk away.

My biggest issue with that statement has always been; If u expect someone to love u as u are, then try t make d person u are one someone can easily n comfortably love.
Anything outside that is just selfish n wicked.

A statement common with people with terrible character

I think when we say 'love me as i am' we refer to the naturl shortcomings not the 'acquired'.
A drug addict cant come and tell me to love her as she is, but if its a blind person , something that happened without preordinance of course i will love you the way you are

...When the perfect comes the imperfect wil run away...

okay

That's why you have to be playing the real you role in any relationship cuz no matter how imperfect u ar , there are still pple out there who will care for u and love u just the way you are , unconditionally.
But if you have being hiding under mask and pretending to be who u ar not in any relationship, is like u ar caging urself. And u will end up frustrated so by the time u won't be able to hide ur real self any more was where the problem ly
Some may turns u down today cus of who u ar pls dnt stop being real you

Never change for no 1.

.

Oxone: If you cant influence anyone you're with positively and push them to be better, then you must be doing something wrong but you have to be realistic in your expectations and the way you go about effecting that change. Key thing here should be communication

Word!

none of my bizness tho

If you don't want your character to change so as to build a mutual and understanding relationship, then your relationship status should also remain unchanged

superior1: A statement common with people with terrible character

Exactly... And they have no desire to change.

Truly said

Hmmmmmmmmm....

You dont understand the CONCEPT...PEOPLE ARE IMPRISONED by their on personality...have u heard of this disorder before

Bi-Polar
Borderline disorder
Multiple personality disorder

this is when TWO people share the same mind
..the danger of trying to "change" people is that you will be creating a two head moster

the other day i went to see a friend of mine but when i go to his house he was sitting outside inside his car....i asked him what hez doing outside he tole me he happy that i came that he even wants to leave the house BECAUSE HIS OWN FRIEND WAS INSIDE THE ROOM HAVING A Three SOME WITH two RUNS GIRL....
To my amazement i noticed HIS FRIEND WAS A GUY I ALSO KNOW...THE GUY IS MARRIED..Very cool decent guy and his wife is even a lecturer the daughter of a ex bank MD.....The guy and the wife looks like a perfect match...so to discover this GUY HAS ANOTHER PERSONALITY OUTSIDE THE SEE DECENT FAMILY FATHER AND DAD(THEY HAVE A DAUGHTER) is a mystery

the summary is

the DEVIL YOU KNOW IS ALWAYS BERRA THAT THE ANGEL YOU DONT KNOW...

Maraige and relationship is NOT FOR ANYONE AND EVERYONE
IF U CANT LIVE WITH PEOPLE AS YOU MET THEM THEM LOOK FOR ANOTHER PERSON OR AUCTION THE LOVE ON SOCIAL MEDIA
IT is for your own Good

Since today is sunday i'll like to look at this issue from a christlike point of view.If you want people to love you just the way you are you should remember that the bible says that 'all have sinned' and christ came to redeem us hence this redemption will have to make us better people in character,words and thoughts.So a person who truly loves you will definitely want you to be a better person and hence try to change you to be a better person.p.s. If u want to remain the way you are then you actually are saying that Christ didnt die for you.

Period!

youngice: I think when we say 'love me as i am' we refer to the naturl shortcomings not the 'acquired'.
A drug addict cant come and tell me to love her as she is, but if its a blind person , something that happened without preordinance of course i will love you the way you are

Today is Sabbath Day while Some are busy celebrating Festival of rice and chicken! It is NOT meant for discussion like this...
Therefore,

I believe that when you are in love with people, you try as much as you can to be a better person for them. Its not healthy though for you to go into a relationship hoping to change someone. There will be lots of heart break involved. I believe people should try to get to know each other and decide wether you can deal with the attributes or characteristics.
Am a firm believer of getting to know someone's terrible and irritating part and deciding if u can deal with it or not. The good part, would come as a bonus for all your hard work.
Get into a relationship to Ve fun, grow and learn and impact someone in a gud way.

standd: Love is far far away from the hearts of people these days (especially in the context of relationships)
Anyway, I can NOT imagine dating a thief who would want me to love him as he is....That kind of love is for the gods, not men.

Honestly, a good relationship must make d parties involved beta in some way. Even with all God's unconditional love, He doesnt try to keep people the same way he met them...

Love dey say its a decision. U must ve dat in mind even from adam dat ur partner aint perfect. And in d midst of d imperfection, u shud ve dat patience to correct wit love and not with scolding or shouting.dis whole concept shud best b seen as two people people who re willing to learn frm each other and also willing to teach each other with open heart. D moment u start shouting, screaming or scolding at ur partner, dat simply depict u re perfect which no one is!!!

dhardline: Since today is sunday i'll like to look at this issue from a christlike point of view.If you want people to love you just the way you are you should remember that the bible says that 'all have sinned' and christ came to redeem us hence this redemption will have to make us better people in character,words and thoughts.So a person who truly loves you will definitely want you to be a better person and hence try to change you to be a better person.p.s. If u want to remain the way you are then you actually are saying that Christ didnt die for you.

Well said.