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Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga - Family (10) - Nairaland

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Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by elipheleh(m): 12:09am On Aug 01, 2014
cococandy: if I didn't read it,how else did I know what she said?
I did.
First of all I've stopped having the pointless forth and backs about feminism that we do here,no one manages to convince the other anyway.so why sweat it?

Second it's laughable that she thinks she knows better than adichie about the issue. Smh.
There's a reason why she's the unknown and adichie is the star.(Not that it matters)
But I see it self conceit for her to think she knows better.

And yes she's a hater,how can I not point that out? Most of the vitriol she spewed on the lady gave her away to be the classless attention seeking person that she really is.
Matter of fact how can I see her point when I don't know if the topic is about feminism,adichie or adichie's brand of feminism?
Ok so there are different brands and adichie has one brand all to herself. That's nice smiley


How does Nigerian women being almost as educated as females in other parts of the world nullify that fact that for the most part we are still considered less than men?
And does she want us to rule out some parts of Nigeria while conducting the research about female education in nigeria? How convenient!
I mean if it's restricted to the north alone which BTW is more than half the land mass of nigeria it's all good. Right?
As long as it is in the north. No wahala. undecided
And she says she lives in nigeria. undecided


I still don't get why I should sit and discuss chimamanda's understanding of feminism.
Is she setting the rules for anyone?



Look at you for example as a Nigerian girl you are full of low self esteem and that is the problem of all women worldwide. And feminism doesn't exactly boost those esteems as men become more naturally adviced by the the state law to be more intro selfish.

The problem of women is not inequality as there is equality everywhere in Igboland but that of low self esteem , zero personal self believe, self defeating assumptions, inactive laziness, and the likes.

I think in women empowering programmes, women should find ways of boosting their self image issues and stop blaming every child and men for their problems.

Eg. Nobody supported men (like Dangote, Gates etc) to build their empires but all I see everywhere are woman empowerment programs. Then the problem still persists

4 Likes

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by crackhaus: 12:13am On Aug 01, 2014
carefreewannabe:

[s]Social issues such as the name calling of women who are not married and past 30.

Social issues such as the celebraion of "bad boys" but discrimination of women who are not ashamed of having a libido.

Social and economic issues such as the conviction that a woman's primary role is motherhood.

Economic issues such as the ownership of properties.

I could go on and on. [/s]


All these you just listed are just ideologies based on competition which you have disguised as equality. I won't even bother picking them out one by one, but believe me when I say I have good refutations to each.

But see I'm your friend, let me tell you what feminism in Nigeria should be fighting against/for as the case may be.
I only want to help because as I have always known, feminists are a pretty confused bunch, so imma help out:

1. Mama Ngozi just lost her husband, she was made to undergo some traditional rites that were barbaric, she was locked in a room for three days and was given minimal food, she was maltreated because they accused her of killing her husband.

Carefree, as a feminist, this is your fight and should be the fight of all genuine feminists and pro-equalists.

2. Mama Kamilu is old and tired, she has lost her children. She now walks on the street begging alms because her village council banished her on the ground that she is a witch.

Feminists, focus please. This is what you should be fighting against.

3. Blessing and Charity are sisters, they have a brother. John (brother) wasn't asked to go with his Aunt to Spain, instead it was his two sisters who were deceived into prostitution in Spain by their Aunty under the guise of going for schooling.

Carefree, as a feminist, this is what you and your comrades should be championing and fighting against.

I hope you get the point...

8 Likes

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by favouryemmy: 12:13am On Aug 01, 2014
cococandy:
Like I said,I don't see why I should be discussing adichie
Or any other celebrity for that matter. smiley
Enjoy

Cococandy, are you a man? How come your profile pix is showing a man with an intimidating six pack? grin
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by elipheleh(m): 12:20am On Aug 01, 2014
5minsmadness:
As a people who initiated feminism and have finally arrived at the journey’s final destination—a state of existence completely unimaginable to the likes of Adichie—this is how we live as Scandinavians:

1. There is no chivalry left in the land. Men open doors for themselves. Women open for themselves. Anything other than that is foreign and the exception, not the rule.

2. Men pay their bills. Women pay theirs. A couple visits a café, the man pays for his coffee and the lady pays for hers. Anything other than that is foreign and the exception, not the rule.

3. Men do not compliment women. Instead, because men and women are engaged in an eternal battle for equality, each party expects to be complimented. Anything other than that is foreign and the exception, not the rule.

4. Like the French and the Germans jointly told Britain when that island nation pushed to renegotiate its EU membership conditions: The European Union as an organisation isn’t an à la carte setting where one enters and decides what to take and what to omit. You either are fully in, or fully out. Put differently: there’s no such thing as cherry picking when attempting to adopt feminism. You can’t say ‘I want that aspect of it, but not the other one’. It is and will always be a chain of realities—imperceptibly linked—and once you try securing an element, be sure to welcome the rest which will inevitably follow.

5. We Scandinavians have championed the feminist cause since time immemorial. Still, our women over here have yet to invent anything beyond roadside hair salons. The national innovation coffers are accessible to both sexes equally. But it’s the men who continue to invent and innovate and help this region maintain its spot as the leading innovator globally. That’s to say that there is no proof that feminism could turn women into the world’s top inventors of things and founders of top companies. The reality in Finland, after one hundred years of feminism and equal opportunities, is that men alone still found the major companies whose taxes take care of the nation, and when such firms employ women it isn’t purely for their skills but also for the sake of diversity.

6. Unfortunate rivalry or war between the sexes is big in our homes and workplaces.

7. Our families are often broken and passionate love is now foreign or the exception.

8. It’s not uncommon for our children to be victimised by battling parents, and for them to be eventually raised by the government.

9. We no longer make enough offspring to perpetuate our civilisation.

10. And finally: there is little to zero love, kindness, and humaneness left around here. We seem to have stifled all of it with the warring energy we’ve been emitting for the past hundred years. This was the reason nobody thought it necessary to assist Adichie in carrying her bags in Sweden.

cry cry cry


I think this kind of society will be enjoyable for me as a man. I am tired of chivalry undecided
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by pickabeau1: 12:26am On Aug 01, 2014
carefreewannabe:

Without feminism we would not have education and enlightenment of females.
Slut-bashing and the celebration of "bad boys" is unfair and unjust.

Well.. i agree in the sense of the western context
Traditionally african women have always had a seat at the table
History abounds with examples.. there are many threads here on that

However female education is a given (bar the North) which has cultural issues.. so i dont expectthat to be an item anymore



Another reason why feminism is needed.

Explain how it is needed. I said traditionally men were providers, nowadays women are working and earning as men
What is the need again



Cool.

But it seems to be common sense that men are polygamous by nature and therefore cannot control themselves and so the wife has to forgive, pray and fast. This is Nigeria for women. Tell something like this a woman in a developed country and she will laugh and then slap you grin

Why not protect polyandry and polygyny?



Pray and fast?

The holy books allow for women to leave an adulterous man
There are laws to provide for settlements even in naija
So whats the issue

Polyandry can be enshrined in the constitution however you will see no(ok let me say less than 1 percent) man delve into it
no man wants to raise another mans bastard

If it will make u ladies free the guys from the polygamy rant, lets make it enshrined in our law
Will men accede to it is another Q




Kay17..assume i dont know... answer what are d issues
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Decryptor(m): 12:54am On Aug 01, 2014
carefreewannabe:

It is sad we have women like this. I have just been arguing with a woman who has an income but belives the man has to pay all the bills undecided

I weep for our daughters.

I am a feminist in the sense that women should have the same social, political and economic rights. I HAVE NOTICED that women are VERY OFTEN part of the problem and not the solution.

I do not hate men. I do not want to eat my cake and have it.

Now you are making sense to me. If the bolded is what you seek after, it is not wrong. It is the type of woman whom you made mention of who wants men to pay her bills that is the real problem and not women like you who hold a reasonable stance in the area of women equality. Because believe me, I am pained when I hear that in some parts of Nigeria, women are not allowed to vote or hold some public offices and this is usually in the Northen part of Nigeria. Like you truly said, I feel for the upcoming generation of women to come unless there is a rapid change which is what I wish for
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Graviton2(m): 4:26am On Aug 01, 2014
coogar: adichie should stick to writing stories & leave social issues like feminism alone. she's a hypocrite.

You have said it all.
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by pickabeau1: 6:42am On Aug 01, 2014
MrAnony1:
The types of feminists you listed aren't in the same category we are discussing.

I have already answered your question here: https://www.nairaland.com/1835324/adichies-feminism-vacuums-fallacies-gonzaga/2#25110073

If you disagree, you are welcome to explain why you think that such a distinction either doesn't exist or is irrelevant.


Bro.....you have not answered it
Rather just said a radical feminist demonizes men

How do I recognise a regular feminist or a radical one

Do they not use the same language...
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by MrAnony1(m): 7:07am On Aug 01, 2014
pickabeau1:


Bro.....you have not answered it
Rather just said a radical feminist demonizes men
Wow! You asked me the difference between a radical feminist and a regular feminist and I explained to you that one demonizes men while the other doesn't. I wonder what else you expect a difference to look like.


How do I recognise a regular feminist or a radical one
You will recognize the radical feminist as the feminist who demonizes men. The other feminist who doesn't demonize men is NOT a radical feminist. Can I spell it out for you any better?

Do they not use the same language...
I don't understand this question or how it is relevant to the distinction I put forward.

Has it now been made clear enough to you? Do you still disagree with the distinction, and if so, why?


Edit: Here is what a regular feminist sounds like:
carefreewannabe: . . . . .Like I said, you are talking about feminism without getting the idea behind it. I am a feminist and I do not hate men.
https://www.nairaland.com/1835324/adichies-feminism-vacuums-fallacies-gonzaga/6#25124459

A radical feminist is more likely to say something along the lines of "men are pigs" . . . .or something subtler that still demonizes men: something like "teach your sons not to rape" (assuming that men are rapists by default)

If you can't understand what I'm saying by now, then I cannot help you at all.
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by MrAnony1(m): 7:22am On Aug 01, 2014
carefreewannabe:
Now answer my questions, please:

- Do you believe women should have the right to vote?

- Do you believe women should be paid the same salary as men doing the same work?

- Do you believe women should have the right to be educated?
Just wanted to quickly respond to these:

To answer your questions, I would say YES to all. . . . . but that is not where the conversation ends we must also ask

- Do women have a right to vote in Nigeria?

- Are women paid the same salary as men for doing the same work in Nigeria?

- Do women have the right to be educated in Nigeria?

If the answer to these questions is YES (and I believe they are) then we must ask: What then is the relevance of feminism to the Nigerian society?

1 Like

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by MrAnony1(m): 7:53am On Aug 01, 2014
I have enjoyed reading your posts so far on this thread and while I don't agree with you, you seem to be one of the few people on here who actually know what they are talking about. Now to my objections.

carefreewannabe:
Social issues such as the name calling of women who are not married and past 30.
This is not a feminist issue. There is also name-calling for men who are not married past age 40

Social issues such as the celebraion of "bad boys" but discrimination of women who are not ashamed of having a libido.
How exactly are bad boys celebrated and how exactly are women "discriminated against" in this regard?

Social and economic issues such as the conviction that a woman's primary role is motherhood.
What is wrong with this? How exactly are women worse off because they are expected to be mothers primarily?

Economic issues such as the ownership of properties.
But the Nigerian law does not prohibit women from owning property, neither does it limit their property rights as opposed to men. So what's your point?


I could go on and on.
Please do
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by MrAnony1(m): 8:10am On Aug 01, 2014
TV01:
Progress made by women was handed to them by men - and in many cases, rightly so - just don't make it sound like women fought and single-handedly achieved the gains.
This is simply not true. You cannot give someone a universal right you can only stop violating it. This is like saying that the white man gave you your right to freedom. It was not his right to give, he merely stopped violating it. Universal rights such as the right to be treated equally are not the property of an oppressor to give. No one has the right to withhold from you that which is rightfully yours.

This is what feminists fought for - they fought against the violation of their right to be seen as equal human beings with their male counterparts - and they must be commended for it.


Why are you making it sound like feminism is no longer extant in the West? Especially when it's toxicity is deeply evidenced in society.
In what way exactly is feminism toxic?


And with hope and time to avoid the mess in places like Scandinavia.
In what way exactly is Scandinavia a mess.


P/s: Like you, I do not agree with the feminism of today but we must represent the feminist position accurately and respectfully even though we disagree with it.

1 Like

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by MrAnony1(m): 8:25am On Aug 01, 2014
TV01:
Women have the right and opportunity to marry or not. That some believe - as I do - that marriage is central for both men and women and should be entered into mindful of biological imperatives, does not call for a "movement" to still dissenting beliefs


Why is the celebration of bad boys a social issue? Are they bad by themselves? And if they are bad, is the answer to enjoin women to be equally bad?


Women are designed for motherhood. why is it wrong for men and or women to consider this a primary role? Why is it an issue if some believe this? Why mist feminism eradicate different convictions?


Where are women legally refused the right to inheritor own property?


Needlessly so. Feminism is causeless and the gains often attributed to it happened despite it, not because of it. Progress would always have been made in terms of equality. Fact. Feminism has just co-opted and claimed those gains, Now given it's head, it is clearly evident how destructive it is.


TV
Beautiful response. If I had seen this earlier, perhaps I wouldn't have asked the same questions
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by MrAnony1(m): 8:33am On Aug 01, 2014
crackhaus:
All these you just listed are just ideologies based on competition which you have disguised as equality. I won't even bother picking them out one by one, but believe me when I say I have good refutations to each.

But see I'm your friend, let me tell you what feminism in Nigeria should be fighting against/for as the case may be.
I only want to help because as I have always known, feminists are a pretty confused bunch, so imma help out:

1. Mama Ngozi just lost her husband, she was made to undergo some traditional rites that were barbaric, she was locked in a room for three days and was given minimal food, she was maltreated because they accused her of killing her husband.

Carefree, as a feminist, this is your fight and should be the fight of all genuine feminists and pro-equalists.

2. Mama Kamilu is old and tired, she has lost her children. She now walks on the street begging alms because her village council banished her on the ground that she is a witch.

Feminists, focus please. This is what you should be fighting against.

3. Blessing and Charity are sisters, they have a brother. John (brother) wasn't asked to go with his Aunt to Spain, instead it was his two sisters who were deceived into prostitution in Spain by their Aunty under the guise of going for schooling.

Carefree, as a feminist, this is what you and your comrades should be championing and fighting against.

I hope you get the point...
Exactly! These are what feminism ought to be about. Championing the cause of women NOT demanding an respect for their promiscuity.

1 Like

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by pickabeau1: 8:45am On Aug 01, 2014
Dude or Dudette

What i hear u say is the insults is what differentiates a radical feminist from radical one and you used a post from a poster as an example
Whati if i bring out posts where she has insulted people.. she suddenly becomes radical// thats weak men

I expected something along the lines of ideological differences not something which is a personality issue

Insulting or using cuss words should not be an ideological characteristic but a personal one





MrAnony1:
Wow! You asked me the difference between a radical feminist and a regular feminist and I explained to you that one demonizes men while the other doesn't. I wonder what else you expect a difference to look like.


You will recognize the radical feminist as the feminist who demonizes men. The other feminist who doesn't demonize men is NOT a radical feminist. Can I spell it out for you any better?


I don't understand this question or how it is relevant to the distinction I put forward.

Has it now been made clear enough to you? Do you still disagree with the distinction, and if so, why?


Edit: Here is what a regular feminist sounds like:

https://www.nairaland.com/1835324/adichies-feminism-vacuums-fallacies-gonzaga/6#25124459

A radical feminist is more likely to say something along the lines of "men are pigs" . . . .or something subtler that still demonizes men: something like "teach your sons not to rape" (assuming that men are rapists by default)

If you can't understand what I'm saying by now, then I cannot help you at all.

1 Like

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Dipwater(m): 9:04am On Aug 01, 2014
mappete: Even though i feel Chimamanda's ideology is a bit extreme, her arguments have some validity to it. You have no right to assume that feminism isnt an issue in Nigeria or is only limited to the Northern parts if you've not actually been a victim. And if at all Chimamanda is speaking for the minority, what about that is so offensive to you? Aren't they humans as well? Or dont they have rights as well?

African men (both old and young i've found from experience) flock around and desire the best educated females as wives only to tell you after marriage that your education is only as good as the kitchen door or looking after the kids - if all u need is a home-keeper why not settle for the less educated who have less opportunity cost? Some are even "gracious" enough to suggest opening up a shop for you without considering the fact that not only males have dreams, females do to. Why take away my choice?

Have you ever been broke as a student with no idea of when your next allowance is coming? Do you recall that feeling of helplessness? Now think about living with that feeling for the rest of your life because thats what some women endure in this Nigeria. No allowance besides the general feeding expenditure and a husband conditioning getting you a new phone on your delivery of a male child - believe it or not, this is some people's reality. A life whereby one has to result to stealing from ones husband in order to afford recharge card. . .

I could go on but i'll just sum this up by saying - please keep it down if you dont have a solution to or dont recognise/understand the situation on ground and let those that do (like chimamanda) speak for the masses. Her opinions may be a bit far-fetched right now but they'll at least lay a foundation for more accurate solutions to the problem on ground (as is the case with all theories ever developed).


Truth be told most nigerian successful men see women as an object they can buy and keep.it has a lot to do with our culture .most so called successful men that do this are not critical thinkers,they are just the regular naija guys

I luv true feminist and I don't see them as threats.if u are equal to a man u shuld get ready to be equal to the task.don't expect chivalry,no paying of bride price and rest of them

Thank u
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Kay17: 9:23am On Aug 01, 2014
kay17: in your belief, what were the goals of feminism in the past that are redundant today?

pickabeau1:

Kay17..assume i dont know... answer what are d issues


And you dragged the entire world into over 10 pages of your thread. Not only that, you insulted all the African feminists (including those you don't know) of poor intelligence and inability to grasp what feminism is all about AND nagged about how harmful feminism is.

There can be no issues with you when you don't understand the subject you are engaging. There is no common ground.

1 Like

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by pickabeau1: 9:27am On Aug 01, 2014
Ok.. your opinion

If you are ready to discuss further.,.. call me

If not.. lets agree to disagree

Im having a productive discussion with others more inclined to discourse

@Kay17

Are u an igbo woman to come here and say they have no rights as a person
I know of assertive women here of igbo extraction who articulate their points

Painting a whole tribe to achieve a point...hmmm
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Kay17: 9:29am On Aug 01, 2014
@crackhaus

@anony1

Those issues crackhaus diligently made can be resolved if women have the requisite rights. Because most Igbo women are not accorded the human right to dignity of a person, they are treated in such manner. Because most women lack economic rights, they fall into poverty upon divorce or widowship.

Adichie is obviously right. Women are not accorded respect, they are treated like objects, yet if they do have rights which translates to power,they become self assertive EVEN in their sexuality.

1 Like

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Kay17: 9:33am On Aug 01, 2014
pickabeau1: Ok.. your opinion

If you are ready to discuss further.,.. call me

If not.. lets agree to disagree

Im having a productive discussion with others more inclined to discourse

@Kay17

LMAO!!

No, you are building castles in the sky. There was nothing to disagree over

1 Like

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by pickabeau1: 9:34am On Aug 01, 2014
Now i am building castles in the sky grin grin
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Amhappy(f): 9:37am On Aug 01, 2014
Bootybuttchic: we are talking equality here,and not about,oppressors or bullies pls........reread the posts again undecided

I read the post wella and stated that i dont even understand feminism as fair treatment is what humans should fight for not equality.
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by pickabeau1: 9:41am On Aug 01, 2014
Amhappy:

as fair treatment is what humans should fight for not equality.

I agree with this
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Bootybuttchic(f): 9:45am On Aug 01, 2014
Amhappy:

I read the post wella and stated that i dont even understand feminism as fair treatment is what humans should fight for not equality.
u still dont undrrstand whats goin on here,u supported feminism,now u are saying something else....maybe u are on the wrong thread
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by crackhaus: 9:45am On Aug 01, 2014
MrAnony1:
Exactly! These are what feminism ought to be about. Championing the cause of women NOT demanding an respect for their promiscuity.
You see bro, I wasn't even supposed to provide that list but ever since I joined in this feminism gist on NL a long while ago, I have always asked them (feminists) to state exactly what their fight is about in regards to Nigeria...and every time I asked, they never mentioned any of those things I pointed out.
The NL/internet feminists only list things that are either about competition with the male gender or about economic inequality which in reality doesn't even exist in Nigeria.

This is one of the problems with Africans and Nigerians in particular, we copy things from the west and try to effect it directly without remembering that Africa is an entirely different society with different set of rules. This can be likened to a situation where a student during an exam copies answers from another student and replicates every single word, symbol, sentence, and punctuation...yet expects the examiner to not notice.
It's just stoopid, this is why I call African feminists jokers.

Copying or adopting western styled feminism into Africa is not even the crime, it's copying it and applying it hook, line, and sinker.
Not everyone is a genius, not everyone is authentic..the least these feminists can do is to copy and then readapt or reshape western feminism into what suits our society...meaning dealing with the real problems, this is what a smart person will do.

All that talk of equality in marriage, equality in work and pay grade, equality in acquiring property, equality in 'promiscuity', etc are just excuses competitive women use in the name of equality. It's not as if the divide in all these spheres of equality even exist or if they do, are peripheral.

The feminism in Nigeria should be about important things that affect the traditional Nigerian society, some of which I already highlighted in them examples earlier...not about some inexistent inequality in economic, marriage, or the social setting.

10 Likes

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by pickabeau1: 9:47am On Aug 01, 2014
Correct post.. crackhaus


The same copy copy mentality that has turned some of our women into bleached mannequins though we are somehow responsible too
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Djicemob: 9:53am On Aug 01, 2014
Crackhaus,u nailed it.Case closed.
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by crackhaus: 9:57am On Aug 01, 2014
Kay17: @crackhaus

@anony1

Those issues crackhaus diligently made can be resolved if women have the requisite rights. Because most Igbo women are not accorded the human right to dignity of a person, they are treated in such manner. Because most women lack economic rights, they fall into poverty upon divorce or widowship.

Adichie is obviously right. Women are not accorded respect, they are treated like objects, yet if they do have rights which translates to power,they become self assertive EVEN in their sexuality.
You're missing it again. What requisite rights do men have that women don't?
What economic rights?

The issue of maltreatment and poverty of widows is not an issue of rights but one of culture.
This is resolved at the grassroots level between the families involved and/or the community.
In fact, some women have been known to stubbornly refuse any traditional rites that diminish self worth after they loose their husbands...I know at least two.
They refused to be locked in the room, or sleep by the coffin holding the husband's corpse...and nothing happened to them. They stood their ground and they were left alone.

Did you hear that Akwa-ibom state government made it a criminal offence should any woman be forced into harsh and unfair treatment by in-laws at the demise of her husband?

As far as rights go, it already covers women in Nigeria. There are no rights enjoyed by men and restricted from women in Nigeria.

5 Likes

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by TV01(m): 10:10am On Aug 01, 2014
MrAnony1: Beautiful response. If I had seen this earlier, perhaps I wouldn't have asked the same questions
Thanks. Not that I believe CarefreeWannabe has answers. Her feminism is merely a question of women being treated as if they were men.

Now to this;

MrAnony1:
This is simply not true. You cannot give someone a universal right you can only stop violating it. This is like saying that the white man gave you your right to freedom. It was not his right to give, he merely stopped violating it. Universal rights such as the right to be treated equally are not the property of an oppressor to give. No one has the right to withhold from you that which is rightfully yours.
Firstly, the notion of rights is a recent one and oft times subject to perceptions and desires. Having said that, I totally get your point, so allow me too clarify mine;

Take the vote for example. There was a time when women were not allowed the vote. On the face of it, that seems discriminatory. Now delve deeper. Only heads of households were allowed to cast the vote as it was considered the household voted as a block. The Husband was typically the head, so he cast the vote. And perhaps the most pertinent point here is that other adult males who did not head households/own homes, were also denied an individual vote.

So to potray it as denying women their universal human rights is purposefully skewed. Things have changed, progress has been made and now the vote is universal. It was not truly a question of violation or of withholding in the first instance.

MrAnony1:
This is what feminists fought for - they fought against the violation of their right to be seen as equal human beings with their male counterparts - and they must be commended for it.
Again, a feministic reading of history. Feminists as in women did not single-handedly fight and win anything. And certainly not the recent 3 waves. To follow your ealier analogy, it would be like black people claiming they single-handedly abolished slavery.

MrAnony1:
In what way exactly is feminism toxic?
It's outworkings destroy the fabric of society. One example;

The insistence on unrestricted sexual licence up to and including the convenience murder of unborn children.
As you have clearly heard Carefreewanabe and others argue, under the guise of equality and "reproductive health" they want women to be as promiscuous as they please and be sole determinants of the life and death the natural outcome of human coitus - and the whole reason we are complimentary not competitive - babies.

Further, they push for the resposibility that goes with this right to be bourne by men. Men are to be responsible for the children women decide to unilaterally have - and usually without custody or care rights for the men.

As we have seen recently, they also want to be able to have this "reproductive freedom" and men to pay for their contraceptive or abortion costs. Rights without repsonsibility.

Then there is no-fault divorce. A woman can commit adultery and decide to leave a man who has married, housed and provided for her and their kids unselfishly for years. He is then forced to leave the home but to continue to provide for his ex-wife and children.

The toxicity; . But further we can see the now fractured relationships between the sexes. Marriage breakdowns and hyper-delinquency due to the prevalence of broken homes.

Men are wising up and simply refusing to engage. Commiting to women is a risky and low value proposition for men. The indigenous peoples of most Western nations are in decline. Birthrates are falling.


MrAnony1:
In what way exactly is Scandinavia a mess.
Well the OP made the situation in Finland clear.


TV

**and I'm aware that in a narrow sense Finland is not technically Scandinavia. However, in a wider sense, Finalnd and other surrounding nations are grouped alongside. And more importantly, the social situation in view here is somewhat similar**
Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by crackhaus: 10:11am On Aug 01, 2014
pickabeau1: Correct post.. crackhaus


The same copy copy mentality that has turned some of our women into bleached mannequins though we are somehow responsible too

The same Chimamanda is even one of the copycats. I'm surprised she was against women wearing artificial hair, but in the same vein says women do not need to change their surnames after marriage.

Yea we or rather some men are responsible for getting girls to bleach because of the preference of light skin over dark skin.
But is it the men's fault that these women don't have enough self-esteem to stick to their natural colour? I thought modern women were about confidence and girl-power.
How is it that the same men they call dogs, cheats, cavemen, and insecure are the same men they go all out to impress with make ups, bleaching, and artificial hair..

It just proves this copying of feminism is more about trying to be cool or faking sophistication than it is about actually helping women realize their self worth.

3 Likes

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by shizzle11(m): 10:20am On Aug 01, 2014
joomiegirl:

My dear, really didn't see anything chuavinistic about his post, nor intellectually derogatory about women.




The bald truth is; we africans tend to jump on every western bandwagon that rolls along without fully contemplating the pros and cons.
If the whites think its cool, then we must too? undecided the LGBT issue is a perfect example...I don't condone hate for any reason whatsoever, but what is not good, is not good. Just because the western world thinks its the new "cool"; must we? undecided But I digress.

I agree FULLY. I would lend my voice, and pen and any other thing to advocate against gender discrimination in the workplace; for example.
I believe in merit..irrespective of gender. Educating the girl child. All of that.

BUT It really IS quite another thing to advocate for equality in everything.

Trying to do so is a TOTAL fallacy.

And I believe with all humility that I'm in a position to speak on this matter.

I'm in a field that is predominantly male. About 95% male.
I work hard. I get recognition for my input. As a matter of fact, there are responsibilities that get handed to me by my boss, simply because he believes I'm far more meticulous in those areas than my male colleagues.

But my dear, let me tell you; there are some areas in my field in which even I; would NEVER dream of hiring a female. Areas that require BRAWN.

Areas in which a female can spout till she's blue in the face, but she cannot do what is required...she CANNOT deliver..in those areas!!

Me sef, Ah get muscle? no! cheesy

In light of that alone, what equality are we shouting about, really?

How about the men start a campaign AGAINST maternity leave, for example, since we want equality? Why should we get 3 months off, simply because we put to bed?

In the same vein, how bout the women start campaigning for men to start getting pregnant and carrying babies (I'm sure science can somehow arrange that, now)...

We are talking equality now, abi?

Do you see the confusion?

In relationships, the feminist makes it all a dreary power tussle. She wants to be head. undecided
It throws the family system out of whack.
How about protection? Spiritual headship? Leadership, a father figure?

While it is true that some single mothers have done great jobs in raising their kids, those women certainly would tell you it would have been a lot easier if they had a strong, responsible father figure present.

I don't know about you, but I certainly shudder at the way both sexes are said to relate to each other in Finland.

I may be in a man's world, career-wise, BUT I'm no feminist.

I LIKE chivalry.

I EXPECT it.

Sounds crazy, but If I'm taking a walk with a guy, and I'm closest to the road, I expect him to swap positions with me. Yep.
Those little things say a lot...some automatically do it, and some don't. but then again not every man even knows what it is to be a real man, in the sense God meant him to be.
A man should protect his woman, and his children.

If we go on a date, I expect him to pay. Absolutely. It does NOT mean I cannot buy my own dinner.

If once in a while, I say, "hey, let's do lunch--my treat".... ehen, I know I'm paying. And even at that, does it diminish my sense of worth or independence; if he insists on picking up the bill? undecided
I'm not some helpless female.
And yet, I wouldn't have things any other way than what God designed it to be.
BECAUSE and SIMPLY BECAUSE I have my own roles too. And I'm expected to support him. Allow him to be the leader. Of course I have input. But there can be no two captains in one boat.

Bottom-line, i think this dude pretty much summed it up:






My brother, I really don't know. Seeing as I'm not a feminist. All I see is a lot of man-hating and rage, especially amongst the "radical feminists" or wetin dem call deirselves...
We can talk till we're blue in the face...let everyman do what seemeth right unto him. That is the chaos we live in, in today's world.

Biko, that popcorn don finish?
1,000,000 likes! shocked

2 Likes

Re: Adichie’s Feminism: Vacuums And Fallacies By A. Gonzaga by Nobody: 10:39am On Aug 01, 2014
Kay17:

Again you persist with the same assumption that women lack capacity for deep thought. That women don't know anything especially feminism. That even if feminism is harmful to the society, women still do not know.

The truth remains, gender is a function of culture, don't mistake it with sexes which biological.

The battleground for feminism is focussed on rights. Political, social and economic rights not on courtship issues. Feminism is much more deeper than gender roles. Hence most of the arguments against it are often red herrings and shallow. Should men have more rights to free speech than women OR more privacy rights than women? And issues of abortion and family planning revolve around privacy rights and health rights. But you hardly find people engage feminists on these vital pivotal issues.

Feminism became prominent especially with the political right to a vote.

Rather you get posts like the OP.

Obviously you know nothing about feminism.

I suggest you educate yourself on the tenets of feminism. You obviously are having a hard time coming to grips with play on words. Gender, Sex what is the sole difference? There really isn't any difference unless of-course you begin to lean towards the depraved western mentality that permits such "genders" as bisexual and the likes. A depraved western society of which feminism is a cultural thing. Let us not forget what culture is my friend - the way of life of a people. If feminism is the way of life of the so-called western world, why then should we adopt a foreign way of life simply because it has superficial benefits to a certain gender who are supposedly downtrodden and unequal to a certain "superior" gender. I think advocates of feminism suffer deeply from an inferiority complex that quite frankly I find hard to explain. The harsh reality is that the coefficients of the supposed gender inequality saga is perpetrated mostly by those of the same gender that happens to be victims. So what then exactly are we saying when the women are their own worst enemies.

Like I have said before, advocating for the rights of women within the context of the African setting is laudable. Saying that male and female gender must be treated as equals is highly immoral. Make no mistakes, no sex is superior to the other. The normal natural setting is that both sexes compliment each other.

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