*THIS HAPPENED AT SENATOR OMISORE'S RESIDENCE*

[Omisore punching calculator and writing on his note pad. Then the phone rings]
OMISORE: Hello! Who is this?
GEJ: It's me your President. Sorry about the loss ehn...This APC rascals are stubborn ooo.
OMISORE: Ha, my president, na so we see am ooo. In fact, that yeye Raufu get juju.
[Continues punching calculator loudly]
GEJ: Iyiola, what is that sound I'm hearing?
OMISORE: I'm calculating sir.
GEJ: Calculating what?
OMISORE: All the money that I've lost on this election sir. Ha, owo wo igbo ooo. With all the bags of rice, salt and gallons of kerosene.
GEJ: My friend stop that! Afterall, it is not really ur money.
OMISORE: [Speaking in agony] What do I do about this 1,000 bottles of champagne now!
GEJ: 1,000 bottles of what! Do you plan to open a bar?
OMISORE: No sir! I planned to use it for celebration when they declare me as winner ni. Ha! Mo gbe ooo.
GEJ: Stop that my friend! It is a blessing in disguise!
OMISORE: Blessing how! You know I'm not from the royal family and the Ooni of Ife has no plans to die now. So being king is not an option.
GEJ: I am making you an ambassador. A very special, very powerful and very dignified ambassador.
OMISORE: [Quickly drops calculator] Ambassador to where sir?
GEJ: To Liberia. You will have 3 private jets, 4 large mansions, fleets of cars, several foreign accounts...
OMISORE: Ehnnnn!!!!
GEJ: Forget what you're thinking. You're a man nw... We shall provide you with golden gloves, diamond nose pads, extreme security...
[Omisore faints on the other end of the line]
GEJ: Hello! Hello!! Hello!!! Chai! Network ehn..

INSTEAD OF HIM ASK PEOPLE TO RETURN HIS RICE AND KEROSENE.
I ADVICE YOU GO TO ILESA AND START PACKING YOUR RICE THROWN ON THE STREET