mutiply: 1, have known her for 3months. 2 she is gonna be 30 in november. 3 we have gone out twice, we stay in different cities but not far from each other. 4 she used to call but stopped the very day i asked her out. She hardly calls me and dnt return my calls if she missed it. She used to chat but not always. 5 Am working but on low key, still trying to get a bigger job,( you know the job challenges in the country) she is working and self dependent. 6. I only spent about 3k plus on the dates which we both ate and drink but i spend alot on recharging my phones, i call her like 4 to 5 times in a day. 7. I like her cause she hard working, has this inner beauty and she is intellingent. Everything about her makes me happy but she does nt feel a thing for me. Dont know how long i can hold on. I dont want to be in the friend zone. NEVER

Brother, you are very close to that zone. Plus, did you say you call her 5times a day Hell No!

Stop calling her from today and channel that time and energy into finding a better job.

Thank me later.

mutiply: 1, have known her for 3months. 2 she is gonna be 30 in november. 3 we have gone out twice, we stay in different cities but not far from each other. 4 she used to call but stopped the very day i asked her out. She hardly calls me and dnt return my calls if she missed it. She used to chat but not always. 5 Am working but on low key, still trying to get a bigger job,( you know the job challenges in the country) she is working and self dependent. 6. I only spent about 3k plus on the dates which we both ate and drink but i spend alot on recharging my phones, i call her like 4 to 5 times in a day. 7. I like her cause she hard working, has this inner beauty and she is intellingent. Everything about her makes me happy but she does nt feel a thing for me. Dont know how long i can hold on. I dont want to be in the friend zone. NEVER

I really wish there was some straight written down rule I could give to you but your story is one I'd have told you to forget about her. No time really for jagbajantis.

But seeing that you love her really as said by you, I'd say you give her one more month and arrange another physical meeting. Deviate from the restaurant thingy. Do something else. Her expression and reactions to your gestures should give you all the cue you need. If still negative, you're probably in your thirties, set your life into motion to be an eligible bachelor. If you get what I mean.

Cheers!

Kinkybraids: Nice...

Im so guilty of the mean face thing. I do it to fend off guys I dont want but i guess it scares all of them away . Its a face that just comes on when im walking...I just hate being harrased. Im friendly but some men can be so forceful.

I also dont know where to draw the line on playing hard to get lol. I just feel like there is a positive relationship between playing hard and how much he will value you. So I play harder and he will love me 'harder'

how can i stop the above...whats the normal limit on playing hard ?

You need to understand that playing hard to get isn't commensurate with getting highly valued. You only need to live normally and follow your heart with your brain as the GPS device. Lol!

The female folk was created to be wooed and chased. Don't chase Mr. Right away with your face while he's chasing you oo.

Cheers!

For the 1st time in a very long while I've come across a brother this reasonable and observant. O.P God will bless you for me and the rest of our kind. If I had my way, every female on this forum would pay for this singular information you are giving out free of charge. Verily, verily, I say unto all ye 'hard to get women' that a time will come that you'll not only trace back the fellow who approached you but pay to get his attention. High 5! To all the brothers who place money and more money above the sentimental old fashioned load of crab. Booyaah!

Kinkybraids: Nice...

Im so guilty of the mean face thing. I do it to fend off guys I dont want but i guess it scares all of them away . Its a face that just comes on when im walking...I just hate being harrased. Im friendly but some men can be so forceful.

I also dont know where to draw the line on playing hard to get lol. I just feel like there is a positive relationship between playing hard and how much he will value you. So I play harder and he will love me 'harder'

how can i stop the above...whats the normal limit on playing hard ?

Look at this scenario, would you enter a shop, walk to the shelve and order for a loaf of bread which even though looks like it's just from the over but is squeezed up, or would you rather choose a smooth loaf even though you know it has been out of the oven for like 3 hours.

Now here are a few tips:

Erase the notion that the harder you play, the more the guys will love you. The truth is the harder you play, the more the guy starts to plan on how just to get you, go between your legs and vanish in revenge for the psychological trauma you caused him.

You can prove to like him but not making it obvious to him as well as not saying yes to his proposals. Offer to pay at times when you both go out for a date, don't always wait for him to call you. You can send him text just to wish him a wonderful day ahead.

The problem is ladies who have no financial, emotional and physical contributions in a relationship will NEVER get respect from her partner.

If after the 3rd date your mind isn't made up whether to date a guy, ask for sometime off so you can make a decision. If after a week you don't still like him, tell him you can't date hum, otherwise, just accept his proposal under the condition that you both must not rush anything as you are still trying to study him and confirm your intuition about him.

Remember, even in a century of meeting someone, you can't know their entire behavior.

acidtalk: Ladies, it is very understanding how you get pressured to settle down and find a man to get married to by family members, friends, colleagues and associates.

Never be deceived, even men too are under immense pressure but most guys easily waive off such a discussion by giving excuses of work pressure, trying to build a career and even in most times claiming how most ladies out there are gold diggers. When deep inside them they know they have no gold to be dug and are desperately also searching for their dream woman.

NOTE: This is not a gender bashing thread and will appreciate if both sexes don't go about hauling blames at each other but rather suggest positive ways to contribute aside what will be listed below.


THINGS STOPPING SINGLE LADIES FROM MEETING A RIGHT PARTNER.

* ALWAYS IN THE MIDST OF FRIENDS: The earlier ladies realize that their always being in the midst of friends is playing a major role in not meeting that mr right the better. From Cinemas, Malls, Saloon, Buffet, Art exhibition, Weddings, and other events, some ladies do not just know how to attend alone. More often than not, a man who sees the woman he likes and intends approaching her but sees her in the company of fellow females will have a rethink for fear of getting embarrassed or made jest of.

Sisters, learn to go to the Cinema, Mall, and other gatherings ALONE. It increases your chances of getting suitors as most guys equally go to these same places all alone with the intention of hooking up with a soul mate. Try it this week and come back with your feedback.

* DRESSING WILD: Most ladies don't know when to draw the line between dressing sexy and dressing trashy. Showing more than 3inches curve of cleavages has surely gone over board in showing cleavages. Excess makeup, heavily tinted hair, fixing eye lashes longer and thicker than bunch of broom, skirt 5inches above your knee caps, jumper tops revealing your mid region, excessively tight tops and pants are all turn offs to guys. Don't get me wrong, you will certainly get more approaches than normal dressed days but don't be deceived most if not all men who come along are only for games and nothing serious. No one will ever accept to buy a sweet whose wrapper is off, except of course the shop owner is offering you such sweet for free. Even at that you will accept it with caution.

* ALWAYS WEARING A MEAN LOOK: For crying out loud no one said you should be walking smiling and waving to the light poles and bill boards on the road but please cut off that mean looking facial appearance. We all have issues bothering us so why make it seem like mother nature handed over to you the problems of the whole 7 billion people on earth. No one gets attracted to a sad face not to talk of wanting to have a saddist on a date or a girl friend. Always try to free the muscles on your face, smile more when you have a chat with people. Above all, always drop your baggage of worries at your door mat before leaving home. You can decide to pick it up when you get back home but please stop taking it along with you, it is ruining your chances of men being encouraged to approach you.

* PUTTING ON A WEDDING RING EVEN WHILE SINGLE: Okay! Ladies STOP this nonsense. Enough of you ruining your future and putting the blames on your village people. Can I even suggest something, Fashion ring or otherwise, can you avoid putting any sort of ring on those two fingers (sure you all know the fingers I am referring to). By putting big fashion rings or small bands on those fingers, men tend to think women are hiding their wedding or engagement ring, or have possibly misplaced their ring and only using that as a temporary identity to their marriage or engaged status.

Please Note: Not all fashion accessories are to our advantage. Some work against us.

* PLAYING HARD TO GET IS NOW ARCHAIC: ladies if you haven't heard this before please TAKE NOTE AND HEAR IT TODAY - PLAYING HARD TO GET IS NOW OLD SCHOOL AND WAY OVER OUR GENERATION.

I usually tell this to everyone who cares to know, A man/woman knows if they will eventually date you within 10-30minutes after their first serious discussion with you. They only need one or two more dates to confirm their earlier decision. Anything more than 3 dates and with no positive or negative feedback is now a waste of time.

Once you aren't looking for a jobless, irresponsible, gold digger, or student, have it at the back of your mind that an average serious minded guy values his time in every facet of his life (including looking for a life partner).

in today's world, men will pick 99times over a 100 Money instead of Woman and as such considers it a whole waste of time chasing a lady when if he channels same energy in trying to make money, his life will be way better.


Copyright (c) 2014 - 3060.

one packet of lollipop sweet for the op, you should consider writing a book u know!

@acidtalk, @Three7Ty9 @Dygeasy Thanks, i really do appreciate ur comments and teachings. Have always been a lovelorn, guess i should just focus on the job tins and find happiness else where.The end of love is not the end of life. Thanks once again.

missbronze: Amebo part 2.

who ask u dis one.?

I'm just being my sisters keeper here. Just being concerned

Dygeasy: You need to understand that playing hard to get isn't commensurate with getting highly valued. You only need to live normally and follow your heart with your brain as the GPS device. Lol!

The female folk was created to be wooed and chased. Don't chase Mr. Right away with your face while he's chasing you oo.

Cheers!

Professor

mutiply: @acidtalk, @Three7Ty9 @Dygeasy Thanks, i really do appreciate ur comments and teachings. Have always been a lovelorn, guess i should just focus on the job tins and find happiness else where.The end of love is not the end of life. Thanks once again.

don't worry bruh, you'll find your soulmate soon

cc150615:
one packet of lollipop sweet for the op, you should consider writing a book u know!

Your plan no go work. Na jedijedi Dem say make you come use kill me?

On the aspect of writing a book, I have been told this over 8years. But by the Grace of God I will launch my book latest by next year. But it's on Entrepreneurship and later the same year, will launch the one on Politics.

Lanre90: The answer to this question is probability
The more single men u hang out with in a platonic way ,the higher yo chances of getting hitched.

seconded!

Nice write up.

Making sense from time immemorial

obayaya:

Professor

acidtalk:

Your plan no go work. Na jedijedi Dem say make you come use kill me?

On the aspect of writing a book, I have been told this over 8years. But by the Grace of God I will launch my book latest by next year. But it's on Entrepreneurship and later the same year, will launch the one on Politics.

none for single ladies? I withdraw my lollipop

acidtalk:
Look at this scenario, would you enter a shop, walk to the shelve and order for a loaf of bread which even though looks like it's just from the over but is squeezed up, or would you rather choose a smooth loaf even though you know it has been out of the oven for like 3 hours.
Now here are a few tips:
Erase the notion that the harder you play, the more the guys will love you. The truth is the harder you play, the more the guy starts to plan on how just to get you, go between your legs and vanish in revenge for the psychological trauma you caused him.
You can prove to like him but not making it obvious to him as well as not saying yes to his proposals. Offer to pay at times when you both go out for a date, don't always wait for him to call you. You can send him text just to wish him a wonderful day ahead.
The problem is ladies who have no financial, emotional and physical contributions in a relationship will NEVER get respect from her partner.
If after the 3rd date your mind isn't made up whether to date a guy, ask for sometime off so you can make a decision. If after a week you don't still like him, tell him you can't date hum, otherwise, just accept his proposal under the condition that you both must not rush anything as you are still trying to study him and confirm your intuition about him.
Remember, even in a century of meeting someone, you can't know their entire behavior.

My hat's off for this post! Mehn, you nailed it! Only if all ladies think this way. Once I hit on a girl and she plays hard to get, I take it then as a competition I must win. Ladies, kill this hard to get mentality!

Three gbosas for acidtalk for this thread! You have dealt thoroughly with the topic. I went to a restaurant to buy wine yesterday, and I saw this cool lady. I wanted to walk up to her, but she was in the midst of four other girls, so I just gave up the idea!

acidtalk:


Look at this scenario, would you enter a shop, walk to the shelve and order for a loaf of bread which even though looks like it's just from the over but is squeezed up, or would you rather choose a smooth loaf even though you know it has been out of the oven for like 3 hours.

Now here are a few tips:

Erase the notion that the harder you play, the more the guys will love you. The truth is the harder you play, the more the guy starts to plan on how just to get you, go between your legs and vanish in revenge for the psychological trauma you caused him.

You can prove to like him but not making it obvious to him as well as not saying yes to his proposals. Offer to pay at times when you both go out for a date, don't always wait for him to call you. You can send him text just to wish him a wonderful day ahead.

The problem is ladies who have no financial, emotional and physical contributions in a relationship will NEVER get respect from her partner.

If after the 3rd date your mind isn't made up whether to date a guy, ask for sometime off so you can make a decision. If after a week you don't still like him, tell him you can't date hum, otherwise, just accept his proposal under the condition that you both must not rush anything as you are still trying to study him and confirm your intuition about him.

Remember, even in a century of meeting someone, you can't know their entire behavior.

That point about him getting revenge is really catching my interest. Im actually in a similar situation. There is this guy that i think is good looking, nice but doesnt excite me to talk to him. He asked me out around march n we had a great time but his follow up was weak...maybe he expected me to call. So he went silent but we would occasionally talk. He asked me out again n i always said i was busy bt id see. We met just for a stroll n i felt no chemistry but he tells me he has feeling for me ect. I didnt reciprocate n now he is back asking me out on date and telling me his feelings. Why would a guy chase you for 5 months? Do u think he just wants revenge ? He isnt a bad guy but he can be very proud so i dont get it

Kinkybraids:

That point about him getting revenge is really catching my interest. Im actually in a similar situation. There is this guy that i think is good looking, nice but doesnt excite me to talk to him. He asked me out around march n we had a great time but his follow up was weak...maybe he expected me to call. So he went silent but we would occasionally talk. He asked me out again n i always said i was busy bt id see. We met just for a stroll n i felt no chemistry but he tells me he has feeling for me ect. I didnt reciprocate n now he is back asking me out on date and telling me his feelings. Why would a guy chase you for 5 months? Do u think he just wants revenge ? He isnt a bad guy but he can be very proud so i dont get it

Now seat tight while you strap your seat belt and listen very good.

He didn't keep disturbing you for 5 straight months none stop. He asked you out twice within a space of 5 months meaning he was quite mature to give you a long time to think about it before he brought up same discussion.

For Heaven's sake ladies need to understand that men have a whole lot on their mind to think and sort out instead of just keep carrying woman's matter on his mind. Only irresponsible and jobless guys will think, talk, dream, read, and chat only about females all day without thinking of how to better his life.

If a man ever comes visiting my daughter everyday of the week, I will get him arrested for being a menace to the society.

Now back to this your guy, seat him down and ask him what exactly he is looking out for in the relationship? Just friends, campanionship, lovers, fling, or a future partner. BE THAT BLUNT.

Secondly, ask him if he is really serious why is he dragging the whole thing? Whatever he tells you is the utmost truth. So listen attentively and hold on tight to it.

Thirdly, Never assume Shyness to means Pride. Most people are extremely shy, and so when they talk, people assume they are proud. Because most shy people use words to try to act bold, blunt, and brave when in the real sense they are extremely shy. It is possible it took lots of practice for that guy to summon the courage to ask you out. And your turning hum down made him feel embarrassed and rejected that is why he had to withdraw before coming back months after.

Dygeasy:

Can I enroll for tutorial classes?

Interesting write-up! Sincerely I'm not guilty of any. Op more grease to ur elbow

obayaya:

Can I enroll for tutorial classes?

School Fees: 1 Carton of Malta Guiness, One Crate of Soya Malt and 1 Carton of Pringles.

Aitee1: Interesting write-up! Sincerely I'm not guilty of any. Op more grease to ur elbow

Good to know. Please do not listen to your female friends who will try to advice you otherwise. They are only looking for who to drag along their misery and lonely lives.

obayaya:

Can I enroll for tutorial classes?

lol! Abeegi!

I'm too smart to be adviced wrongly

acidtalk:

Good to know. Please do not listen to your female friends who will try to advice you otherwise. They are only looking for who to drag along their misery and lonely lives.

acidtalk:


Now seat tight while you strap your seat belt and listen very good.

He didn't keep disturbing you for 5 straight months none stop. He asked you out twice within a space of 5 months meaning he was quite mature to give you a long time to think about it before he brought up same discussion.

For Heaven's sake ladies need to understand that men have a whole lot on their mind to think and sort out instead of just keep carrying woman's matter on his mind. Only irresponsible and jobless guys will think, talk, dream, read, and chat only about females all day without thinking of how to better his life.

If a man ever comes visiting my daughter everyday of the week, I will get him arrested for being a menace to the society.

Now back to this your guy, seat him down and ask him what exactly he is looking out for in the relationship? Just friends, campanionship, lovers, fling, or a future partner. BE THAT BLUNT.

Secondly, ask him if he is really serious why is he dragging the whole thing? Whatever he tells you is the utmost truth. So listen attentively and hold on tight to it.

Thirdly, Never assume Shyness to means Pride. Most people are extremely shy, and so when they talk, people assume they are proud. Because most shy people use words to try to act bold, blunt, and brave when in the real sense they are extremely shy. It is possible it took lots of practice for that guy to summon the courage to ask you out. And your turning hum down made him feel embarrassed and rejected that is why he had to withdraw before coming back months after.

im takind down notes... Ill be honest your interpretation is that he is a grown man ect but his just a student like me. He is a year younger.... I wish i could give him the credit for everthing you said above but his a student and guys from uni play many games.

I was blunt n asked and he answered me with a question... 'what do u think I want?' then he said he wants the same thing he wanted when we first met...to this day i still dont know

But thank you for the indepth advice

acidtalk:


School Fees: 1 Carton of Malta Guiness, One Crate of Soya Malt and 1 Carton of Pringles.

Na your own school abi my own?

Kinkybraids:

im takind down notes... Ill be honest your interpretation is that he is a grown man ect but his just a student like me. He is a year younger.... I wish i could give him the credit for everthing you said above but his a student and guys from uni play many games.

I was blunt n asked and he answered me with a question... 'what do u think I want?' then he said he wants the same thing he wanted when we first met...to this day i still dont know

But thank you for the indepth advice

Student? Well, if you have no plans of settling down soon then you can date him for the experience and to while away time, otherwise, I will tell you to look for a more mature man.


As to his response to your question then it is clear he doesn't quite mean well. Since you are not a psychic or soothsayer, how will you know what is in his mind.

My humble opinion is, from what you have told me, I doubt if he has good intentions.

acidtalk:


School Fees: 1 Carton of Malta Guiness, One Crate of Soya Malt and 1 Carton of Pringles.

If I pay such fees, na automatic first class in premature _ejaculation..

Dygeasy: lol! Abeegi!

.

Aitee1: I'm too smart to be adviced wrongly

Madam

Dygeasy: Na your own school abi my own?

Na your school but you go sha pay teacher. There's love in sharing biko!

obayaya:

If I pay such fees, na automatic first class in premature _ejaculation..

.

Leave me to worry about that.