ihedinobi2:

Actually it's that other stranger you're all fired up to kiss now that yarned real bûllshit. Just keepin' it real wichu.

I never said that they couldn't make it work. I said that a woman like that is not looking to be a wife and mother. Those words have a very particular meaning. When a woman is ready to be a wife and mother, every last person knows it. No one is dumb enough to miss that change.

(un)fortunately I agree with what the stranger said. I still maintain that people want you for whatever it is you can provide for them. People live in communities because they are useful to one another. The moment you outlive your usefulness......pop. Otherwise because we're humans we can afford to let them stick around for old times sake

Based on personal experience, people are nice because they already have some grandiose plan mapped out. I see it so I know. When you don't/can't play a significant role there, you might as well disappear.

**Hence the kiss.


As for the other half of your argument, what can say? We judge people based on what's the norm for us. Our mothers and sisters give us an image of what a family should be like. We grow up with that, assume it's the standard and expect everyone else to be like that.
Doesn't make our ideas wrong. Doesn't make it right either.
People will always do what feels right to them either way. But there are no rule books as to how certain things must play out.

ihedinobi2:

The womanizing James Bond? Ok. Nice.

I'm keeping an eye out for those rare threads about men and our oversexed nature.

Are you guys not all oversexed? Both nice o, bad o, in between, all are hypersexed! It's all a matter of finance or confidence that prevents some of you from exhibiting your natural inclinations!
The ones who don't have confidence are por..n addicts.
There are no strings attached in James Bond relationship. He is honest about it.
However, bad guys do fall in love and in Casino Royale James did and would have remained faithful if she didn't die.

Anyway forget character, a man with a James Bond aura is irresistible. Same way men are attracted to beautiful women with the most uncouth characters.

AmINotHuman:
Well, for all the "nice guys" out there, no one owes you a relationship. A woman is not obligated to date you because you managed to fulfil the basic requirement of being a "nice guy". The real question is, what else can you bring to the table? As shallow as this sounds, are you good-looking? Rich? Smart? Talented? Funny? Any thing more than just being a "nice guy"?

Being a a nice guy is nothing but the bare minimum. Saying "if I were your boyfriend, I won't treat you like that". It's not always about what you won't or don't do ("At least I'm not like the other guys", "At least I won't break her heart" ... and several other reasons while you're not a bad person).

What can you contribute to her life? Women invest too much into themselves (appearance-wise and so on) to meet a certain standard and you have to meet up with that standard, being a "nice guy" just isn't enough.

All in all, you can't force someone to fall for you. If a woman isn't romantically interested in you, there's no need to force it or pressure her or guilt trip her into dating you. It'll only make you her doormat.

I recommend this article for those who want to face the harsh realities of life: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

Nice article. Thanks for sharing

senbonzakurakageyoshi:
@ihedinobi, much of what you've said holds true, but saying that you can't meet a nice guy at a club,restaurant or bar.....I don't think that's right. I have a friend whose parents met at a club....and they've had a pretty amazing marriage. What I can agree with is that you don't find those guys at such places ON A REGULAR. Everybody has their definition of a good time and loud music, dance, a book, a glass of wine and TV.....the difference between a nice guy and otherwise is limits. After all there are people that sit at home and drink themselves to a standstill or smoke weed till they start seeing things.

@ Bolded

Bro that left me in stitches...

Stillfire:


Are you guys not all oversexed? Both nice o, bad o, in between, all are hypersexed! It's all a matter of finance or confidence that prevents some of you from exhibiting your natural inclinations!
The ones who don't have confidence are por..n addicts.
There are no strings attached in James Bond relationship. He is honest about it.
However, bad guys do fall in love and in Casino Royale James did and would have remained faithful if she didn't die.

Anyway forget character, a man with a James Bond aura is irresistible. Same way men are attracted to beautiful women with the most uncouth characters.

Wild things Or at least a hint of it is really attractive.

Stillfire:
There are two kinds of bad boys- the James Bond suave types and the Lil Wayne ghettofied thugs.
There are also two kinds of nice guys - the nerdy nerds and your average, normal Joe.

Out of the above James Bond comes first , average normal Joe second , nerdy nerds third , then last and least and will never ever date- the lil wayne ghettofied thugs.

the stereotypical bad boy i was referring to is james bond. he's a well-known womaniser & yet women find him irresistible. he's got a career, he knows how to get whatever he wants.....he's a charmer, a smooth-talker, he takes the extra effort to look good at all times. surely, women find this kinda men their guilty pleasure. friends/family warned you about him, your conscience warned you about him but still......you rebelled yourself.

In summary if at 25 years old you are still excited about using terms as bad boy to qualify yourself, then I question your mental age. It is so childish. Grow up.

how then do you describe men like this? evil men? bad men? bad bloke, crude dude? of course the general word is bad boy just like you are a bad girl.

ihedinobi2:

I wouldn't expect to find a decent guy in a strip club, would you?

Despite that, I'd say that you're right.

Lol, now that's one of the unacceptables

ihedinobi2:

I wouldn't expect to find a decent guy in a strip club, would you?

Despite that, I'd say that you're right.

What's wrong with a strip club? So a man fancies nursing a drink while beautiful women dancing around half naked. Does that make him any less decent than the one who stays home to watch football?
Both treat women with respect....i daresay the first even more so because he doesn't mind them hanging around his table, and doesn't nurse dark sexual fantasies about them, nor think they are objects for displaying their bodies in a 'liberal' way

Neither does it make him any worse than the one who *borrowing Sebonz words here* sits at home and drink themselves to a standstill or smoke weed till they start seeing things

We judge the first by what we see, and the other by what we don't see.

coogar:


the stereotypical bad boy i was referring to is james bond. he's a well-known womaniser & yet women find him irresistible. he's got a career, he knows how to get whatever he wants.....he's a charmer, a smooth-talker, he takes the extra effort to look good at all times. surely, women find this kinda men their guilty pleasure. friends/family warned you about him, your conscience warned you about him but still......you rebelled yourself.

True! Same way men can't resist beautiful women.

how then do you describe men like this? evil men? bad men? bad bloke, crude dude? of course the general word is bad boy just like you are a bad girl.

But Lil Wayne will call himself a bad boy too...so please separate my James Bond from such razzness, unless you can give me a term to qualify thugs.

ihedinobi2:


The nice guy is simply the dude with moral restraint.

Lol, you believe that?

A nice guy is actually a guy in fear. A guy who buries his legit wants and desires under whatever convenient excuse he can latch onto.

If your strongest drives, as a human, are of the devil. Then you must be a child of the devil. Embrace it.

You should not be at war with yourself.

But if your drives are of God...then he really wants you love chicks, and have fun and cut loose. It is your destiny.

Don't let the so-called morals of an unconscious society define your reality.

Stillfire:

True! Same way men can't resist beautiful women.

so am i right then to say you are attracted to bad boys? beauty or looks have nothing to do with this - we are strictly x-raying the behaviourial attitude.

But Lil Wayne will call himself a bad boy too...so please separate my James Bond from such razzness, unless you can give me a term to qualify thugs.

he would be a bad boy to the ghetto babes around him too. meanwhile, some classy ladies still fall head over heels for the lil wayne type or how do you explain vivica fox running after 50 cent like an ovulating rabbit?

BuddhaPalm:


Lol, you believe that?

A nice guy is actually a guy in fear. A guy who buries his legit wants and desires under whatever convenient excuse he can latch onto.

If your strongest drives, as a human, are of the devil. Then you must be a child of the devil. Embrace it.

You should not be at war with yourself.

But if your drives are of God...then he really wants you love chicks, and have fun and cut loose. It is your destiny.

Don't let the so-called morals of an unconscious society define your reality.

Tsk tsk. So we just go wherever the wind blows us? What happened to choice, and making of ourselves what we want to be?

UjSizzle:

Hmmm I see why Yuzedo likes you.
I'd kiss you now if I could

My girlfriend won't like that very much. She's some vicious nazi-bítch .

BTW, you write really well. Your energy easily shines through too.

coogar:


so am i right then to say you are attracted to bad boys? beauty or looks have nothing to do with this - we are strictly x-raying the behaviourial attitude.

I'm attracted to the Bond types not the thugs. An alpha female like myself can only be attracted to an alpha male
I am attracted to the suave, pristine, immaculate, confident and intelligent. Because I'm all of those things, add classy to the mix.
This type is surprisingly a gentleman and holds that one woman to high esteem.

he would be a bad boy to the ghetto babes around him too. meanwhile, some classy ladies still fall head over heels for the lil wayne type or how do you explain vivica fox running after 50 cent like an ovulating rabbit?

Lol, Vivica in her heydays wouldn't have. She was desperate.

UjSizzle:

(un)fortunately I agree with what the stranger said. I still maintain that people want you for whatever it is you can provide for them. People live in communities because they are useful to one another. The moment you outlive your usefulness......pop. Otherwise because we're humans we can afford to let them stick around for old times sake

Based on personal experience, people are nice because they already have some grandiose plan mapped out. I see it so I know. When you don't/can't play a significant role there, you might as well disappear.

**Hence the kiss.

You don't need to explain the kiss. I already forgave your cheating àss. I mean, what choice do I have? All you do is go around kissing people. *shrugs* I might as well live with it.

Perhaps people you have met are mercenary. I have met some too. But I know that there are people whose hearts are actually good. They're nice to you because that is all they're supposed to be. Relationships can change and someone who was particularly nice to you because they're, say, in love with you, will have to go dark on you because you can't love them back. They're not suddenly "un-nice", they're just human. There are no self-sustaining machines in existence, except God. So when someone is loving and not getting loved back they can hardly stick around until they shrivel up, turn psychotic and die, maybe even by their own hand. They have to heal.

If you call that changing because you don't love them back and thus have no relevance to them, you're sorely mistaken.

Relationships can change for various reasons but nice people will be nice to you whether they derive benefit from you or not. What benefit is there in helping an old lady across the street and even all the way to her home on a dark night with nobody to applaud him for it? People are nice if they are nice. There need not be any scheme to it. The problem some people have is in failing to see that the love that makes a young man drive a lonely old lady home and keep her company till she's ready to turn in is not the same love that makes him pick up the phone everyday to call up a young lady and ask how she's doing.

It's not all the same love. How I love you as a friend is not the same way I'll love you when I decide you're the woman for me.

As for the other half of your argument, what can say? We judge people based on what's the norm for us. Our mothers and sisters give us an image of what a family should be like. We grow up with that, assume it's the standard and expect everyone else to be like that.
Doesn't make our ideas wrong. Doesn't make it right either.
People will always do what feels right to them either way. But there are no rule books as to how certain things must play out.

There are rule books. The rules are writ large every bloody place you look.

Whether we've grown so smart that we suddenly know that marriage is a load of bunkum or we think it might still make sense, some things can never be defined by us humans. They are what they are independent of us.

I will tell you this: a woman who is looking for a thrill will never have my babies. Heavens, no! A woman who is looking to prove something to the world is not a woman I'd trust with the deepest vulnerabilities in my life. Impossible!

Any man that says he wants that is welcome to have it all. But I will not mince words when I push for hard laws to protect my children from the human beings that their union or whatever they prefer to call it yields.

Stillfire:


Are you guys not all oversexed? Both nice o, bad o, in between, all are hypersexed! It's all a matter of finance or confidence that prevents some of you from exhibiting your natural inclinations!
The ones who don't have confidence are por..n addicts.
There are no strings attached in James Bond relationship. He is honest about it.
However, bad guys do fall in love and in Casino Royale James did and would have remained faithful if she didn't die.

Anyway forget character, a man with a James Bond aura is irresistible. Same way men are attracted to beautiful women with the most uncouth characters.

See?

You think if we aren't out straffing every chick we think is hot, we're pretenders or inconfident or broke. What can I say? I hope that you don't think your husband's being anything other than honest, confident and financially capable when he maintains hotel rooms in every city for his "away games".

No strings attached is honest. Ok.

As for the James Bond aura, what man does not know how to affect airs? If I had not taken the lesson about empty tins seriously, I'd never have bothered with honesty. The thing I tend to like about people is the honesty that does not prepare you for the amazing depths to their person. You think you know everything and can't be surprised and then they surprise you.

Then you see an air of mystery and suave and think this is some deep secret you'll never get to the bottom of and you're all fired up to go digging. Only, you never dig too far before you hit the bottom and then you want something new.

I like solidity. I like substance. Let that just be me but I like it. I don't need airs. And in all my life I have never liked beautiful women with uncouth characters. I find them so annoying that that is the most civilized way that I can talk about them.

senbonzakurakageyoshi:


Lol, now that's one of the unacceptables

Exactly

UjSizzle:

Tsk tsk. So we just go wherever the wind blows us? What happened to choice, and making of ourselves what we want to be?

Well, from the highest philosophical perspective, we merely have apparent choice.

And closer to home, you didn't choose your drives, desires, inclinations, etc. Every action is spawned by preceding chains of events of which you are not at the cause.

UjSizzle:


What's wrong with a strip club? So a man fancies nursing a drink while beautiful women dancing around half naked. Does that make him any less decent than the one who stays home to watch football?
Both treat women with respect....i daresay the first even more so because he doesn't mind them hanging around his table, and doesn't nurse dark sexual fantasies about them, nor think they are objects for displaying their bodies in a 'liberal' way

Neither does it make him any worse than the one who *borrowing Sebonz words here* sits at home and drink themselves to a standstill or smoke weed till they start seeing things

We judge the first by what we see, and the other by what we don't see.

So it is now hypocrisy to stay at home and not go watch "half-näked" women dancing on poles? Now I've heard everything.

Where do you people get these weird ideas? Smh.

By the way, strip clubs have half-nâked dancing women? I thought it was a full show. Why would I go to a strip club for half-nakëd women when I can just buy a music video or put on Soundcity?

Sophyrocks:


Oh yes. I have friend zoned a player. Because i saw he was indeed a player. There is always one special person your heart beats for no matter how many peoples' hearts you play with. players are not always tough. they have a weakness. All you have to do is play his/her game unknown to him/her after gaining their trust. It takes a very wierd and complicated person to be able to do that.

And you are one very wired and complicated person.. ... That cool

For me the game is what I make it to be.. ... But am not player

Just a nice guy

BuddhaPalm:


Lol, you believe that?

A nice guy is actually a guy in fear. A guy who buries his legit wants and desires under whatever convenient excuse he can latch onto.

If your strongest drives, as a human, are of the devil. Then you must be a child of the devil. Embrace it.

You should not be at war with yourself.

But if your drives are of God...then he really wants you love chicks, and have fun and cut loose. It is your destiny.

Don't let the so-called morals of an unconscious society define your reality.

Lol. I don't aspire to be a slave to my appetites. Self-control is why the world is not up in flames yet. The day we quit restraining ourselves, we will råpe and kill, pillage and burn and do everything we want to without a thought.

Stillfire:


I'm attracted to the Bond types not the thugs. An alpha female like myself can only be attracted to an alpha male
I am attracted to the suave, pristine, immaculate, confident and intelligent. Because I'm all of those things, add classy to the mix.
This type is surprisingly a gentleman and holds that one woman to high esteem.



Lol, Vivica in her heydays wouldn't have. She was desperate.

She said "Bond types, not thugs". What exactly am I missing? Bond was not a thug? *confused man here*

BuddhaPalm:


My girlfriend won't like that very much. She's some vicious nazi-bítch .

BTW, you write really well. Your energy easily shines through too.

Your girlfriend sounds really scary

Thank you

ihedinobi2:

So it is now hypocrisy to stay at home and not go watch "half-näked" women dancing on poles? Now I've heard everything.

Where do you people get these weird ideas? Smh.

By the way, strip clubs have half-nâked dancing women? I thought it was a full show. Why would I go to a strip club for half-nakëd women when I can just buy a music video or put on Soundcity?

Haven't called it hypocrisy. I'm saying what's wrong with someone choosing to unwind that way? One man likes the quiet of his living room, and another likes the noise of a nightclub. Does that make the latter an indecent person?

***Depends on how naked is naked enough for you. And yeah they don't always take off all their clothings

UjSizzle:

Haven't called it hypocrisy. I'm saying what's wrong with someone choosing to unwind that way? One man likes the quiet of his living room, and another likes the noise of a nightclub. Does that make the latter an indecent person?

***Depends on how naked is naked enough for you. And yeah they don't always take off all their clothings

Why? It should be a full show

Sagamite:


Of course!

I have always told you guys that women are selfish.

When they friendzone a guy they know fancies them, it is usually for selfish reasons. They are using him to boast their ego and self-confidence.

He is being used just the same way a guy is shaggging a girl who fancies him but he has no interest dating and is going to dump anyway. Then you see women whining about the latter and then trying to train them to be selfless mugus called "real men".

If a girl is not interested in you and showing interest in you, WAKA PASS. Be an expert in waka-passing, cut the BS of "I am a gentleman, I would be patient and give her time" mugu many are trained to be.

I have friendzoned guys in the past and we have become very good friends in the course of time. They are now in happy relationships and we are still friends. I wanted to have them as my friends because I really liked their personalities and company, I just didn't have enough attraction for them.

Should I have told them to disappear just because I didn't want to have a relationship with them?
Was my wish to be friends selfish?

Now that they have other women to give their love and attention to, I still call them my friends and we can count on each other in different life situations.

Not every woman friendzones a guy so that he can boost her ego.

ihedinobi2:


By the way, strip clubs have half-nâked dancing women? I thought it was a full show. Why would I go to a strip club for half-nakëd women when I can just buy a music video or put on Soundcity?

Its atrocious bro...comparing pixels on a screen to real-life, double-deluxe, feminine deliciousness in living colour .

Please never say that again.


And you seem to hold strip joints in contempt. Well, one of the most beautiful sights I've ever experienced was watching a particular girl pole-dance. Was not the crass, artless booty-shaking variety.

Words fail me. But it was art, sublime art.

Perfect form & control (she just floated), a beautiful smile, a beautiful body, eye-contact, absolute grace of motion and genuine enthusiasm. She really had more fun than I did.

It was the divine feminine, the essence of all life, on display, in all its glory. I was enchanted, inspired, intoxicated...stricken!

Had I the inclination, could have most easily sculpted a David or composed a symphony - immediately afterwards. Unfortunately, yours truly drowned this divine impulse in Heineken.

ihedinobi2:

Lol. I don't aspire to be a slave to my appetites. Self-control is why the world is not up in flames yet. The day we quit restraining ourselves, we will råpe and kill, pillage and burn and do everything we want to without a thought.

Compassion and empathy...not morals.

UjSizzle:

Haven't called it hypocrisy. I'm saying what's wrong with someone choosing to unwind that way? One man likes the quiet of his living room, and another likes the noise of a nightclub. Does that make the latter an indecent person?

***Depends on how naked is naked enough for you. And yeah they don't always take off all their clothings

Yeah, good question. What's wrong with unwinding by hanging out at a spot where a woman dances seductively while derobing? Why, nothing. I don't suppose the suggestions I get fed with through my eyeballs really count. I can stare and not do anything about all that stirring in my body. And I can do that every night, if I please.

Pardon my ignorance. I obviously have never been to a strip club. I did think about going a few times. I just worried that I might come back a tad lighter in body weight.

BuddhaPalm:


Its atrocious bro...comparing pixels on a screen to real-life, double-deluxe, feminine deliciousness in living colour .

Please never say that again.


And you seem to hold strip joints in contempt. Well, one of the most beautiful sights I've ever experienced was watching a particular girl pole-dance. Was not the crass, artless booty-shaking variety.

Words fail me. But it was art, sublime art.

Perfect form & control (she just floated), a beautiful smile, a beautiful body, eye-contact, absolute grace of motion and genuine enthusiasm. She really had more fun than I did.

It was the divine feminine, the essence of all life, on display, in all its glory. I was enchanted, inspired, intoxicated...stricken!

Had I the inclination, could have most easily sculpted a David or composed a symphony - immediately afterwards. Unfortunately, yours truly drowned this divine impulse in Heineken.

Oh I will. I appreciate a sexy dance at least as much as the next man. But I can hardly decide that watching a stripper is ever going to be a divine experience merely because you think it was for you, now, can I?

BuddhaPalm:


Compassion and empathy...not morals.

Excuse me, did you just say that compassion and empathy are not morals? Or am I reading you wrong?