“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).
Before the need for submission, there must first
be acceptance. Marriage is not a difficult
institution when there is a leading husband and a
wife who is willing to accept his leadership. But
the type we have this day is one where there are
two heads, an unwilling-to-submit wife or an
irresponsible head. Issues will abound in such
relationship.
Although, the above verse would raise a lot of
opinions as to the case of being submissive or not
but I’ll try and do justice to it on a ‘different’ note.
Wives are to submit (yield to be controlled) to
their own husband but when you allow your ego,
status, femininity (misinterpreted) or
achievements to influence you, there would be
issues in your marriage. There cannot be two
sailors in a ship, so is it with marriage.
Submission is a critical factor in marriage. It
determines the cooperation, growth, agreement,
orderliness and the success of any marriage. If
he’s leading and you’re not following, you cannot
arrive at your destination. And if he’s not leading
and you’re following, where are you going?
Consider this issue before you make any
further move.
How can I be submissive as a woman? To answer
correctly, the following questions would help you
narrow down your answers and your response on
the following would determine the kind of
relationship you’d have.
1. Which Kind of Husband Would He Become?
The kind of husband you marry will determine
whether you’ll be submissive or not. Study him
carefully and prayerfully while you’re courting.
Let me share a real life story with you. A man was
dating a lady for marriage in view. They were in
the same department in the university. Along the
line they were in love but before it get further into
her, she prayed about the relationship. God
revealed something shocking to her. She saw
herself on a ladder and this man was telling her to
come down. All through her stay in the university,
he was all over her till after service before she
boldly ended the relationship. What do you think
would happen if she didn’t pray?
Prayer would reveal future issues and diligent
study would make you discover his nature and
personality.
Some men are bossy, some are mamma’s boy,
some obstinate and some are archaic in their
thinking.
The Bossy type believes you’re an option
and he sees himself as the main man in the
marriage. He gives the rule and you must do
it without compromise.
The Obstinate believes that his own opinion
and suggestions are what you must adhere
to whether it is wrong and right.
The Archaic-thinking-man believes that
how is father ruled his mother is what is still
obtainable in this 21st century. He is not
given to change and doesn’t believe in new
ideas.
Mamma’s boy are tied to their mom’s
apron. His mother still have a major role to
play in his marriage. Even when the
scripture says he must leave and cleave to
his wife, he is still joined to her. If you marry
this type of man, you will be submitting to
him and his mother.
2. Is He Leading or Driving You?
Regardless of the category he falls into, you must
also check if he’s a leader or a driver. A leader
carries you along as he shows example on how to
go about it.
Whatever influences a man will determine his
headship. Some have ego, status, wealth and their
achievements as their major influence in the
relationship.
When a man drives you, he will use you for his
own benefit, purpose or gain. He’s the type that
believes he does you a favor by marrying you. He
won’t see marriage as an institution to learn and
grow but a business platform. If you are married
to any of these men other than the one whose
influence is Christ, expect a tug of war kind of
relationship.
3. Is He Helping or Hurting You?
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved
the church and gave himself for her (Eph. 5:25),
also love her as your own bodies” (Eph. 5:28). This
is the basic injunction of husbands in marriage.
A man that loves you will not hurt you. A man that
loves you will help you grow to become better in
life. He will add value to your life and bring out the
best in you.
If you are married to a man that loves you as his
own body, you won’t have problem submitting to
him. But if he abuses, victimizes and makes you
less better than when you met him, examine the
relationship before you go any further.
Ladies, think, look and pray very well before you
consider a man for marriage. Marriage is to be
enjoyed when a man loves his wife as Christ loved
the church and she submit to this kind of lordship.
Anything apart from these would make a wreck of
your marriage.
Ask yourself these 3 important questions and give
honest answers! Don’t be carried away by
ephemeral things (gift, false care, premarital sex
etc) but consider the issue of submission before it
becomes a problem. If you cannot submit to him,
don’t accept his proposal.

Gift, False care and Premarital sex are factors ladies use in determining who to marry..

Pastors also encourage them to use the first two factors to gauge a loving man. That's where we are..

But my mind tells me that as a businessman, you don't invest in a very risky asset which may not be able to yeild good returns in future..

So the girls keep looking for a mugu with gifts and false care who they will dupe and dump later while the smart guys are looking for a woman who can hold herself against greed and premarital sex during dating..

Av bn duped