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Princessmel:
I know as a lady I shouldn't say this and will probably never tell her to her face cos she can get super big headed but she's fuking drop dead gorgeous and sometimes I think that gets to her head. Tbh, I think shes too good for him but hey! That's just me

. Well, anything to help your friend... You look gorgeous too. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

chukwuma101: . Well, anything to help your friend... You look gorgeous too. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thanks sweety, you don't look too bad yourself

Very few men actually know what they want in a relationship so the first thing they do is "sex" ... then they feel they're the boss... she needs to hold on to what she's got cos trust me it's a lot better she doesn't have her mileage piling up... Most male folks think like kids, most male kids think like he-goats... Most he-goats think with the sticks... so when u have a man who puts u first and starving himself of the pleasure of sex... that's a man who might really be in love... With u... notice the way most males even on here think... They feel sex is the in thing ... let her stay focused on other things in her relationship like making it work...

N.B... just saw ur pic... u r quite gorgeous... smile more girl... ur blessed ...

Princessmel:

Haha reasonable point but if someone you really loved begged you to, would you?

dats a tough choice... It pays to be selfish than do sometin I don't want or like doing...I am a reasonable being, I won't if I know it will affect me psychologically... Sometimes u like someone so much it pains u to hurt her...

krispycash: Very few men actually know what they want in a relationship so the first thing they do is "sex" ... then they feel they're the boss... she needs to hold on to what she's got cos trust me it's a lot better she doesn't have her mileage piling up... Most male folks think like kids, most male kids think like he-goats... Most he-goats think with the sticks... so when u have a man who puts u first and starving himself of the pleasure of sex... that's a man who might really be in love... With u... notice the way most males even on here think... They feel sex is the in thing ... let her stay focused on other things in her relationship like making it work...

N.B... just saw ur pic... u r quite gorgeous... smile more girl... ur blessed ...

Thanks hunny, where were you when i was looking for a man lol, your future/present partner is truly lucky. I think for her , she just wants to prove her love more and invest more into the relationship by giving herself to him but he doesnt see it in the same way

countsparrow:


dats a tough choice... It pays to be selfish than do sometin I don't want or like doing...I am a reasonable being, I won't if I know it will affect me psychologically... Sometimes u like someone so much it pains u to hurt her...

hmm i hear you

Princessmel:

Thanks sweety, you don't look too bad yourself

Gratias

Princessmel:

Thanks hunny, where were you when i was looking for a man lol, your future/present partner is truly lucky. I think for her , she just wants to prove her love more and invest more into the relationship by giving herself to him but he doesnt see it in the same way

I was talking to a friend who had just gotten married and he was having issues with trust... I'll tell u the same thing I told him... sex should be the last thing u use to prove u love a man...

Be stubborn enough to make ur relationship work...

Use ur head before your heart sets in... that way when ur heart is in, it's gonna take a nuke to make it falter...

Sex has been misinterpreted over the years to mean submission/ love... when u love ur man... you prove to him you love him by showing u love him... u show him u love him by understanding him and being supportive... same goes for the man...

Sex is just what comes to play when intimacy sets in...
If he truly loves her, then she has nothing to worry about so she can keep her legs closed... her virginity is a priceless virtue most women don't have... so she should guard it with much aggressiveness...

N.B- it's future partner... that's if I don't end up a rev. Father

krispycash:
I was talking to a friend who had just gotten married and he was having issues with trust... I'll tell u the same thing I told him... sex should be the last thing u use to prove u love a man...

Be stubborn enough to make ur relationship work...

Use ur head before your heart sets in... that way when ur heart is in, it's gonna take a nuke to make it falter...

Sex has been misinterpreted over the years to mean submission/ love... when u love ur man... you prove to him you love him by showing u love him... u show him u love him by understanding him and being supportive... same goes for the man...

Sex is just what comes to play when intimacy sets in...
If he truly loves her, then she has nothing to worry about so she can keep her legs closed... her virginity is a priceless virtue most women don't have... so she should guard it with much aggressiveness...

N.B- it's future partner... that's if I don't end up a rev. Father

So there are actually men like you on this nairaland, im in absolute shock. Im glad i put this question here now, thanks for your very mature and well thought out responses, well your future partner is very lucky and if its reverend, then your congregation are lucky

Well, has she demanded for it or she has been flashing the lights? Let her try giving him a bj to see if he can even get an erect.ion and how long it can stay. Maybe he's hiding something.

Princessmel: Hi y'all been a min. My best friend has confided in me with an issue she's having and I know she would hate to know I've made it public but I don't know how else to advice her so I thought I'd put it here. Her issue is that she wants to have sex with her fiancé but the big problem for her is that her fiancé does not want to have sex with her and she does not want to lose her virginity to anyone but him. I advised her that if he loved her, he'd give her what she wanted but she claims that he isn't sexually attracted to her and that whenever she makes an effort, he always finds excuses. What can she do or what should she do? If it helps, my friend is going on 25 and she's been seeing her fiancé for almost 2 years now.

THE GUY IS WHAT YORUBA PEOPLE CALL, "ESHIN INU IWE"....

benromeo39: Well, has she demanded for it or she has been flashing the lights? Let her try giving him a bj to see if he can even get an erect.ion and how long it can stay. Maybe he's hiding something.

she has demanded for it and now she feels she has made herself look like a sex starved desperate lady because he blatantly told her no she said; and i suggested the bj idea to her but she said he claims its dirty and would never let her do such, i really wish i could help her because i know personally if my man denied me sex, its his loss because i will get it one way or the other, don't judge me, some things cant be helped

tunde705: THE GUY IS WHAT YORUBA PEOPLE CALL, "ESHIN INU IWE"....

meaning?

Princessmel:
meaning?

my dear







































THE GUY CAN NOT PERFORM. HE IS IMPOTENT.

tunde705: my dear

THE GUY CAN NOT PERFORM. HE IS IMPOTENT.

as much as i could just accept that, seeing as so many people have put it out there, i know its not true, and i cant just tell her this, it would break her

krispycash:
I was talking to a friend who had just gotten married and he was having issues with trust... I'll tell u the same thing I told him... sex should be the last thing u use to prove u love a man...

Be stubborn enough to make ur relationship work...

Use ur head before your heart sets in... that way when ur heart is in, it's gonna take a nuke to make it falter...

Sex has been misinterpreted over the years to mean submission/ love... when u love ur man... you prove to him you love him by showing u love him... u show him u love him by understanding him and being supportive... same goes for the man...

Sex is just what comes to play when intimacy sets in...
If he truly loves her, then she has nothing to worry about so she can keep her legs closed... her virginity is a priceless virtue most women don't have... so she should guard it with much aggressiveness...

N.B- it's future partner... that's if I don't end up a rev. Father

Bro, I agree with ur point, but the issue is, Marriage is a lifetime thing and I feel certain things should be sampled before u tie d Knot, and anybody that says SEX isn't important in a union I believe is just a fvcking hypocrite...

Okay for example, I marry a man who can't satisfy me sexually and we had the chance of like having sex before the union we didnt because I believe he won't touch me cos he loves me, at the end of the day, u discover u guys are not compatible sexually, tell me if dat enuff isn't enuff to put the marriage to the test...
1. Sometimes d frustration makes u get mad at him for no reason

2. When u catch up with ur girlfriends, and they tell u how they have nice times with der spouses, u will get mad at him for not experiencing such simply because he knew he couldn't satisfy u and he tricked you to such union...

So Mel, not having sex with ur GF sometimes doesn't translate to love, der might be some hidden stuff to it, and in this case there is a hidden stuff to it... The earlier she considers her option d better and I hope ur friend doesn't like sex, cos if she doesn a man that can hold his libido for 2 years isn't going to give her some real good sex...

Princessmel:

she has demanded for it and now she feels she has made herself look like a sex starved desperate lady because he blatantly told her no she said; and i suggested the bj idea to her but she said he claims its dirty and would never let her do such, i really wish i could help her because i know personally if my man denied me sex, its his loss because i will get it one way or the other, don't judge me, some things cant be helped

then she should sit him down and discuss the issue. If he doesn't give solid reasons, she should pressurize him. But wait o, ask her if she made him promise not to ask for sex till marriage, it could be he's just frustrating her because of the silly rules most girls make before they agree to a relationship.

[quote author=Princessmel][/quote] My dear I won't even advice you to meddle into other people's affair. If anything goes wrong as a result of your advice, hell will be let loose on you o.


Keep off sweet heart.

Two things are involved when a chik is flashing the sex light and the guy refuses.

1) He doesn't want to loose interest: As a sex meniac u said, he has been there and done that. Soo he has seen all shades of "opante".
Soo to him sex is no biggy. If ur girl pushes him further and he has sex with her, the interest will go down and the relationship might crumble.

2) You can only accuse a non-virgin girl of cheating. Soo it's possible he doesnt want to open it so that he can easily checkmate her.

Whichever way it is, ur friend shud chill bcuz he values her enough not to be fixated on sex from her which is by the way the "only" thing ladies use to control a guy.

countsparrow:


Bro, I agree with ur point, but the issue is, Marriage is a lifetime thing and I feel certain things should be sampled before u tie d Knot, and anybody that says SEX isn't important in a union I believe is just a fvcking hypocrite...

Okay for example, I marry a man who can't satisfy me sexually and we had the chance of like having sex before the union we didnt because I believe he won't touch me cos he loves me, at the end of the day, u discover u guys are not compatible sexually, tell me if dat enuff isn't enuff to put the marriage to the test...
1. Sometimes d frustration makes u get mad at him for no reason

2. When u catch up with ur girlfriends, and they tell u how they have nice times with der spouses, u will get mad at him for not experiencing such simply because he knew he couldn't satisfy u and he tricked you to such union...

So Mel, not having sex with ur GF sometimes doesn't translate to love, der might be some hidden stuff to it, and in this case there is a hidden stuff to it... The earlier she considers her option d better and I hope ur friend doesn't like sex, cos if she doesn a man that can hold his libido for 2 years isn't going to give her some real good sex...

hmmm youve thrown a spanner into the works. you make quite a valid point o, me i no know again

Princessmel:

as much as i could just accept that, seeing as so many people have put it out there, i know its not true, and i cant just tell her this, it would break her

Night, i need to sleep tomorrow na work. Bye...

benromeo39: then she should sit him down and discuss the issue. If he doesn't give solid reasons, she should pressurize him. But wait o, ask her if she made him promise not to ask for sex till marriage, it could be he's just frustrating her because of the silly rules most girls make before they agree to a relationship.

yes she was quite hard on him in the beginning with the whole no sex/virgin thing because she thought he would 'chop and clean mouth'

tunde705: My dear I won't even advice you to meddle into other people's affair. If anything goes wrong as a result of your advice, hell will be let loose on you o.


Keep off sweet heart.

I understand but shes my best friend and if i dont advice her, someone else will who may give very bad advice, thanks for your concern, seep well

Princessmel:

yes she was quite hard on him in the beginning with the whole no sex/virgin thing because she thought he would 'chop and clean mouth'

like I said, that could be the problem. Few guys will agree only to make you regret later, I have done this, it's a possibility that's what he's doing. It doesn't make him love her less, she did it too, so she should endure it.

Confussion2: Two things are involved when a chik is flashing the sex light and the guy refuses.

1) He doesn't want to loose interest: As a sex meniac u said, he has been there and done that. Soo he has seen all shades of "opante".
Soo to him sex is no biggy. If ur girl pushes him further and he has sex with her, the interest will go down and the relationship might crumble.

2) You can only accuse a non-virgin girl of cheating. Soo it's possible he doesnt want to open it so that he can easily checkmate her.

Whichever way it is, ur friend shud chill bcuz he values her enough not to be fixated on sex from her which is by the way the "only" thing ladies use to control a guy.

point taken sir, cheers for your input

benromeo39: like I said, that could be the problem. Few guys will agree only to make you regret later, I have done this, it's a possibility that's what he's doing. It doesn't make him love her less, she did it too, so she should endure it.

lol thats harsh though because its not like hes a virgin too

Princessmel:

lol thats harsh though because its not like hes a virgin too

lol, life isn't fair.

Hmmm!!! This is Alarming..... I'm short of words for this..... I guess the guy maybe shy to have sex with her or maybe he's trying to take things slowly so that no one would get hurt in the long run.....


#MY OPINION

countsparrow:


Bro, I agree with ur point, but the issue is, Marriage is a lifetime thing and I feel certain things should be sampled before u tie d Knot, and anybody that says SEX isn't important in a union I believe is just a fvcking hypocrite...

Okay for example, I marry a man who can't satisfy me sexually and we had the chance of like having sex before the union we didnt because I believe he won't touch me cos he loves me, at the end of the day, u discover u guys are not compatible sexually, tell me if dat enuff isn't enuff to put the marriage to the test...
1. Sometimes d frustration makes u get mad at him for no reason

2. When u catch up with ur girlfriends, and they tell u how they have nice times with der spouses, u will get mad at him for not experiencing such simply because he knew he couldn't satisfy u and he tricked you to such union...

So Mel, not having sex with ur GF sometimes doesn't translate to love, der might be some hidden stuff to it, and in this case there is a hidden stuff to it... The earlier she considers her option d better and I hope ur friend doesn't like sex, cos if she doesn a man that can hold his libido for 2 years isn't going to give her some real good sex...

Count.. quite true are your words but on the other hand don't forget the lady in question is a greenhorn! She's never had it before and there is a strong possibility that he's madly into her but not for sexual reasons only... There are very few things that would make a man refuse sex... fear of the unknown, fear of losing her afterward, fear of not knowing what happens next, fear of other things... trust me men can hold their libido, the truth is our generation, we are a bunch of opportunist... We never leave anything to second chance we see it we grab it...
We are the ones that turn the ladies into wild beings and after we causing much havoc we go back to calling them names... Nigerian men a quite hypocritical in their thinking...
So... when u reason with what she said... Two years and she has tried... that sounds like a very principled man... who would rather keep a good girl on the right path than burst her wide open and leave her later... It takes a good man to say No...

In a lot of cases it never starts out as love... The fact that she's a virgin make her earn his respect and unquestionable trust... With those two... love is inevitable...
I'll tell u this... I' go as much as 10 months without sex... despite advances from women... sex is overrated when u have done it to a point it gets boring... It loses its value and taste... so when u eventually meet one woman who appeals to u beyond sex, sex would be the last thing on your mind... All will want to do is be around her and give ur self in all entirety ensuring that sex is the last thing on ur mind....

The question Mel needs to ask her friend is... what's d b f's attitude like... does he show her respect and all? does he show how much he cares Does he act like a man who's in love? Those are the questions ...

krispycash:

Count.. quite true are your words but on the other hand don't forget the lady in question is a greenhorn! She's never had it before and there is a strong possibility that he's madly into her but not for sexual reasons only... There are very few things that would make a man refuse sex... fear of the unknown, fear of losing her afterward, fear of not knowing what happens next, fear of other things... trust me men can hold their libido, the truth is our generation, we are a bunch of opportunist... We never leave anything to second chance we see it we grab it...
We are the ones that turn the ladies into wild beings and after we causing much havoc we go back to calling them names... Nigerian men a quite hypocritical in their thinking...
So... when u reason with what she said... Two years and she has tried... that sounds like a very principled man... who would rather keep a good girl on the right path than burst her wide open and leave her later... It takes a good man to say No...

In a lot of cases it never starts out as love... The fact that she's a virgin make her earn his respect and unquestionable trust... With those two... love is inevitable...
I'll tell u this... I' go as much as 10 months without sex... despite advances from women... sex is overrated when u have done it to a point it gets boring... It loses its value and taste... so when u eventually meet one woman who appeals to u beyond sex, sex would be the last thing on your mind... All will want to do is be around her and give ur self in all entirety ensuring that sex is the last thing on ur mind....

The question Mel needs to ask her friend is... what's d b f's attitude like... does he show her respect and all? does he show how much he cares Does he act like a man who's in love? Those are the questions ...

I like this, like I said it is either of both, Mel needs to give us the full answer to the questions u asked

When u love a gal to the extent ur not touching her becomes a frustration to her, then something else is involved, and permit me to say, the guy is SELFISH, had it been the other way round, I bet he can't wait 2 whole years before we see g-strings flying all over .... If its her choice to get laid, so be it, at least let her gate a taste of what she is getting herself into, and if this said guy doesn't love her enuff to grant her what she wants then let them go der separate ways...

LOVE IS OVERRATED!!!

Princessmel:

Very good advice, I shall relay this on to her. Thanks

In this case, if she's quite close with God, then I think the best thing to do should be to beckon on God...seek for a proof that shows he's the one! it's smhw..we are humans and not God..for 2yrs and he's still bent, sm1 that used to be a sex maniac before? nd u say it's ok? I doubt...a broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage...it do hurt for smtym bt that of marriage will last for a lifetym...so I suggest she get close to good men of God...find out the main thing from God with proof....then she's left to make her final decision...Goodluck to her!