Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not - Romance - Nairaland
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| Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by franzis(m): 12:41pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Thanks for the good works you have been doing, may God bless you. Help me post this to your readers I am getting married soon & my husband-to-be has not & does not intend to give me a dime to make some preparations from my end(of course I got my wedding gown & every other thing I need with my money already). My folks are agitated that as a man, he should @ least spend something for his bride even if not much. Just this evening, we agreed to get our rings separately ‘cos we stay very far apart & he was soooo cool with the arrangement suggesting that I should give him a call before making the purchase, with no talk about how he’d refund me the money(for buying my own ring, not his). This, coupled with the fact that I would be responsible for the wedding cakes (60K) has really made my mum & siblings to be sooo pissed off with me for not taking his‘stinginess’ up as a serious issue to be dealt with. Please note that he is a very God-fearing man His input towards the general aspects of the wedding include: invitation cards, hall decoration, live-band. Are my mum & siblings overreacting or am I the one blinded by love? Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancee Or Not? I need objective responses please. You could be saving a life. Thank you 1 Like 2 Shares |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by TolaniLuv: 12:44pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
I think you should cancel the wedding' it doesn't make any sense getting married to a lazy or stingy man ! You be the one feeding him too later after u got married to him... Btw, what's your tribe? |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 12:47pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
tell it to GOD in prayers!!! |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by delishpot: 12:47pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
With all these writing on the wall, she still dey ask JAMB question? I must be Mrs by force. Dont halt the wedding o. I sha hope she saved enough to care for her kids in future too. No be in future now she and the man go dump them for one school for 10years. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Xplicit1(f): 12:48pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
I don't tink u should go ahead wit d marriage, cos in d long run, it will b a serious problem. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 12:58pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
franzis: Okay, given that he is a God-fearing man that suggest to me that he should be easy to talk to. So, why not discuss your frustration with him to avoid any misunderstanding. Maybe he thinks that you don't need his help. Just on a side note, is this a gay marriage? 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by manutdadex(m): 1:50pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
those of u sayin she shud brk d marriage,una think say na Bf and Gf issue? Abeg talk to u man...never assume anytin a relation, dialogue is d ansa.. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Stepout(m): 2:18pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
I am a Man, it will be very bad if you can't be free enough to open up to your fiancee instead of all this public address things. Anyway you have made a good step by seeking for advice. Talk to him coz it is ur husband to be, share your plan, do things together and be cautious of family, but always care for them.......wish you all the best. Happy married life in advance. Invite me for the holy matrimony |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by lomzy1(m): 2:26pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Both of u have to discuss this before you get married. It may be a source of conflict in your marriage. Its good to share responsibilities but I think this is beyond limit. Talk to him since he's a God fearing person, he should be able to understand and adjust. Your siblings are right to be concerned, cos they are the ones you may run to when problems start if u don't settle this issue now. I don't think they are over reacting. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by rattlesnake(m): 2:28pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
franzis:collect back the "groom price" u paid him |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by technophile(m): 2:44pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Always check their posts before answering their mumu questions, I don't know the kind of pleasure some people derives by coming to nairaland and start framing up fake story for the people. This guy already has a topic titled:- Confessions: I Slept With My Driver Just To Have Kids For My Husband. But for this current topic, e never get married. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Coldplay007(f): 2:47pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
I've read this story on NL before, like a year ago.....   |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 2:53pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
technophile:Please help me share it to ur reader means he is not the actual owner of the script 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by sexylogan(m): 2:59pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Xplicit1: I'm with you on this. A man that is dodging responsibilities even before tying the knot is not going to change afterwards for the better. @ OP, you are giving him excuses already for not doing what he should be doing. I hope you are prepared to take care of the household finances in the future. As the saying goes, "Only a fool tests the depth of water with both feet" A word is more than enough for the wise. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 3:08pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
sexylogan: How is he dodging responsibilities? Did the OP ask the husband-to-be to do something and the husband-to-be didn't do it? As for me, I am blaming the OP for not opening with the husband-to-be. In my opinion, OP thinks that the husband-to-be should read her mind and that he should know what OP wants. Maybe the guy thinks that the OP doesn't need any help. The word is communication. The OP should open up to her fiance. After that, she can open a thread on nairaland. Then, we can make a better judgement. Maybe the guy has financial issues. Maybe this, maybe that. We would never know till the OP open up to him |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 3:12pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Coldplay007: Didn't you know that history repeats itself ...  King Salamon had put it better "Whatever has happened, will happen again" |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by balogundayo(m): 4:16pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Sister.. Go ahead nd marry him... Ur famuly members are probably reacting that way cos they dont know wah u both planned or his pocket size... They are not in ur shoes... They're saying that cos maybe they think his got money hidden somewhere or he's being stingy... Whichever way... Buh trust me, make the decision urself.. Buh don't jump into conclusion cos ur family members said anything appalling... |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Mprex(f): 4:55pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
franzis:one question, DID YOU ASK HIM FOR THE MONEY? |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 5:19pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Mprex: That is the funny part. Based on her post, she didn't ask for anything but she just expect him to read her mind. The poor man may even be thinking that she doesn't need his help. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by destante(f): 6:02pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Lol this is disturbing honestly. But you said he still made some contributions right? All I would say is, since you have gotten to the marriage preparations stage, it would be absurd to cancel a wedding because you now suddenly know that he is somewhat stingy. I think that is your cross to carry in the marriage, and with prayers that he may change. He is God fearing and all you said, that is his own lapse, he can't be very perfect. It is welli o. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 6:05pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
destante: While I don't agree with the marriage cancellation given that nothing indicates the OP had opened up to her fiance regarding her frustration, I strongly disagree with the bolded. You don't marry someone expecting that they would change with prayers. You don't get into a relationship to change a person. What if they don't want to change ? That is going to be another recipe for disaster. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by destante(f): 6:22pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
TheCongo:oh you misunderstood me. Remember I said that its her cross to carry, that is because I know that you don't enter a relationship to change a person. Again, I said prayers may change the person which is actually true. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by EyeKandy(f): 6:24pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
You may be the kind of lady that won't ask, but expect the man to know his responsibilities. Right? Honey, even the Bible says seek and you'll find. If your desires are not explicitly stated, there's bound to be miscommunication. When you read online that communication is key, it really really is true. Sit him down (or if you live part - skype/facetime) and let him know your concerns. Don't get into a marriage hoping for a change ... it ain't gon work! Don't cancel this marriage plans yet. I was in a similar situation except that my ex had a ridiculous sense of entitlement whereby things should be done for him because "he doesn't have as much". I know he stalks my NL account so I won't give much detail. A wise old woman once told me that my two priorities in a husband should be (1) A man that has my back 100%. (2) A man that's not stingy. Frugality can be tolerated, but stinginess is a no - no. It's not only about money, but how sacrificial he is with his time, love and concern for others. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Mprex(f): 7:03pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
TheCongo:we ladies assume too much. Maybe she didnt even ask him for the money |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by marquiseT(f): 7:21pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
I don't think its normal ur man would expect you to ask before he gives you money for ur wedding ring. Its just expected he pays for that even if he doesn't pay for the wedding cake bla bla...its likely he is stingy...I don't tin should cancel ur wedding, you need to talk to him...but one thing am sure of is,even if he is not stingy, he is inconsiderate... |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 7:26pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
I don't come here on nl to seek for advice. Reason is too many gibberish advice. Most annoying us that the advises come from single ladies that know nothing about marriage. Op, you know your man better. With all you've counted, I see nothing wrong. I think your mom and sis are over reacting. I think you should ask for an advice from your Dad or your close uncle, a man so to say. If you leave this one, you go for another you will find something to complain about. Just hold your peace, and look at his most positive aspect and stay happy. |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 7:37pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
rubbish... maybe he should ask for refund for the parts he is paying for too like the live band etc. Later women will want the same entitlements in marriage as men but are not ready to take up any responsibilities. Im sure he is already spending more than you but you don't want to spend anything. it is you that is very stingy. Times are changing. get with the program |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Bebetter: 8:44pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
[size=28pt]Madam, na you sabi[/size] |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by samtol4(m): 9:24pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Coldplay007:.Correct.I read it also ,the Op just pick d topic somewhere and paste....people began to make comments. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Cancel My Wedding With My Fiancé Or Not by Nobody: 9:39pm On Oct 25, 2014 |
Okay, the exact same story was posted already by 2 other users. Maybe the OP has been changing user ID in order to get as much feedback possible to her confusion. I am so sorry for OP if it get to the points where she have to be running to strangers under different user ID instead of communicating with her man. OP has bigger issue that would be recipe to disaster in her marriage https://www.nairaland.com/1919642/should-cancel-marriage#26605069 https://www.nairaland.com/1893737/having-second-thoughts-concerning-wedding#26133390 |
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