zoelife:
. Divorce? Alimony? Yes, good for the now. But the divorce rates keep climbing. The marriage institution daily eroding. I think the divorce solution has in a way urged overcasual sex, homosexuality, singleparenthood and in extremes, heterosexuality. Our kids Can't we work on a more lasting, albeit slow solution?

That horse has since bolted
The marriage institution is on a slippry slope downwards

There is no lastin solution as long as the parties in the Union are human and imperfect.

naijababe:


We all loved Omotola because she was already married before she became a huge star, her marriage was part of her appeal. Funke on the other hand became a star before she was married, in fact if Funke had stayed with her philandering hubby, it probably would have hurt her career. Think about the huge public venom that greeted her marriage to begin with, in a lot ways you can argue that she was under a lot of pressure to leave. Very similar to Cheryl Cole in fact.

funke agreed to be a second wife and you expect her to complain about a philandering hubby .... I don't get. What career you talking, omotola was close to it before she got married. We just see the super star smile on TV , we don't know what they go through in their homes. They should never be brought into this @ all . Well if I can see another man kiss my wife on screen , I can as well kiss another woman , she need not to get angry at that.

zoelife:
. Divorce? Alimony? Yes, good for the now. But the divorce rates keep climbing. The marriage institution daily eroding. solution. I think the divorce solution has in a way urged overcasual sex, homosexuality, singleparenthood and in extremes, heterosexuality. What will be of our kids Can't we work on a more lasting, albeit slow solution?

it all depends on the religious belief of the family. The bible says the only reason divorce is welcomed is on the bases of infidelity. Sis, there is no general solution to this in a world where homosexuality is encouraged , you should expect anything. All we need to pray for is a God fearing suitor with conscience , who will always want to draw back to God when he makes mistake.

Onegai:


Please who is this child with internet disturbing me?? How hard is it to work for the Underground Railway museum in Cincinnati OH or how hard is it to work in a company on K street, DC and mingle with the political crowd?
How hard is it to do clever stuff, oh I forgot, us "gehs" are meant to remind ourselves that when you cheat, we should be grateful one of you "princes" put one cubic zirconium on our finger and "saved" us by making us a "Mrs".
Oya! You're right! You know all! You're too correct! Chai, your correctness in all things makes sense! The Spirit of Being
Ever-correct could learn something from you!
Please go and find someone else to be exchanging pleasantries with on NL.

STFU! Internet gives bums the opportunity to chat shiit. You honestly think everyone is ya age mate or ya level cos you have got internet access, no?

So, in 1998, 16 years ago, you were up, close, and personal with DC crowd. And by now you should in ya forties, yet you are supposed probably in ya late 20s or early 30s. Which means you were underaged when you worked there. Freaking liar! Go tell ya porkies to stark illiterates on ya level.

You quoted me, I didn't quote ya. But when start chatting shiit and telling porkies, I will call you out for it. Up, close, and personal my black ar.se, just the same way you always know someone that is connected to everything.

Aren't you same prick that jumped into a convo I was having with someone about the British army and Syria, like you know when you don't know nothing?

Get the fvck out of my face, trifling little slag.

majekdom2:
funke agreed to be a second wife and you expect her to complain about a philandering hubby .... I don't get. What career you talking, [b]omotola was close to it before she got married. [/b]We just see the super star smile on TV , we don't know what they go through in their homes. They should never be brought into this @ all . Well if I can see another man kiss my wife on screen , I can as well kiss another woman , she need not to get angry at that.

No, she wasn't! She won her first award for Mortal Inheritance and was already married to Matthew before the movie was made. We always knew her as Omotola, star actress, wife of Capt Matthew.

My point about Funke is whether or not she complains but that staying in the marriage could have hurt her career.

Jeedus Shymexx!!! Why are you so hot tempered? For heavens sake this is just internet banter now!!!

happywife:


I have never believed in divorce.
and that will not make me happy either

Im my opinion, adultery isn't better. If you want to remain married,go back to the Originator of the institution, God. Its not too late to get Him involved. Only Him can see the end from the beginning.
Remember your kids are watching, instill the right values. Stay strong

naijababe:
Jeedus Shymexx!!! Why are you so hot tempered? For heavens sake this is just internet banter now!!!

Nah ma'am, a lot of these trifling little skets on here are utterly disrespectful. Look at this stupid kiddo calling me a child, when I have been civil all through.

All these young skets that started growing ti.ts a few years ago think the anonymity of the internet gives them the right to talk to people anyhow. Don't talk to me like that. And you know how we do out here - you address everything and return whatever energy you get. Someone needs to train these slags on how to talk to people.

majekdom2:
it all depends on the religious belief of the family. The bible says the only reason divorce is welcomed is on the bases of infidelity. Sis, there is no general solution to this in a world where homosexuality is encouraged , you should expect anything. All we need to pray for is a God fearing suitor with conscience , who will always want to draw back to God when he makes mistake.

"it all depends on the religious belief of the family."
Hell No,
it is individuals not family belief

naijababe:


No, she wasn't! She won her first award for Mortal Inheritance and was already married to Matthew before the movie was made. We always knew her as Omotola, star actress, wife of Capt Matthew.

My point about Funke is whether or not she complains but that staying in the marriage could have hurt her career.

I don't know captain , never seen him . I have seen omosexy on tv and read she got married to a pilot .... That's it for majority. There are loads of peeps who were married before coming to limelight but yet it still failed.Funke was only being stigmatized for being a second wife. If that man was single she may have had no problems. Bianca ojukwu remained married even after her marriage was after she was crowned most beautiful.... My point is we should not compare the life of a super star or the next neighbor with ours , cause we do not know what they are going through. Like the other lady said, some women don't care if their suitor cheats with the whole world. They have made the choice not to be bothered by it and have found their way dealing with it. I don't support infidelity at anytime , yea, if you cannot cope with it, do what will make you happy and is not considered as sin.

GoodFaith:

"it all depends on the religious belief of the family."
Hell No,
it is individuals not family belief

when I say belief , I respect the fact that some Nigerians are not christain.Islam encourages polygamy. If such man decides to have an affair , you can't conclude he is cheating. He may be willing to have her as a second wife. Your belief is part of what makes your personality.

Mosandie:


Im my opinion, adultery isn't better. If you want to remain married,go back to the Originator of the institution, God. Its not too late to get Him involved. Only Him can see the end from the beginning.
Remember your kids are watching, instill the right values. Stay strong

does she believe in God ? That's what she should be asked , if she does she would not think of doing that

majekdom2:
I don't know captain , never seen him . I have seen omosexy on tv and read she got married to a pilot .... That's it for majority. There are loads of peeps who were married before coming to limelight but yet it still failed.Funke was only being stigmatized for being a second wife. If that man was single she may have had no problems. Bianca ojukwu remained married even after her marriage was after she was crowned most beautiful.... My point is we should not compare the life of a super star or the next neighbor with ours , cause we do not know what they are going through. Like the other lady said, some women don't care if their suitor cheats with the whole world. They have made the choice not to be bothered by it and have found their way dealing with it. I don't support infidelity at anytime , yea, if you cannot cope with it, do what will make you happy and is not considered as sin.

Agree on bolded. All we are saying is that some women who choose to stay do so for a host of reasons and are well within their rights, however right or wrong it may seem to the rest of us. It is easier to use celeb couples because of what is published about them even if the reality maybe somewhat different.

majekdom2:
when I say belief , I respect the fact that some Nigerians are not christain.Islam encourages polygamy. If such man decides to have an affair , you can't conclude he is cheating. He may be willing to have her as a second wife. Your belief is part of what makes your personality.

Islam permits polygamy but forbids adultery and fornication If he is courting her to marry her, the other wif(v)es should know about it. No room for hide and seek oh.

majekdom2:
when I say belief , I respect the fact that some Nigerians are not christain.Islam encourages polygamy. If such man decides to have an affair , you can't conclude he is cheating. He may be willing to have her as a second wife. Your belief is part of what makes your personality.

I said individuals because individuals belief are some time different from family belief
Some time individuals develop their values and morals from family background and culture
People raise in the same house some time have different belief

MadCow1:



My reliable Sources informed me that Suen has been made an offer he couldnt possibly refuse to isolate the Muslim section from the rest of Nairaland..


So basically, you are free to enter any part of Nairaland except the area that houses the potentia Terrorists and Mujahadeens..



The Isolation of the Muslim section of Nairaland should be a cause for National Security concerns..

Madcow o. I ga eji ochi gbuo mmadu

na today man dey cheat abeg focus and move on jare or better still u too cheat and be even

SirShymex:


Lol, MJ took "rock her world" to his grave...I can't rock anyone's world.

You know, I am not trying to be a cockblocker because that girl is in for it if she lives in London. I know you very well, man!

GoodFaith:

I said individuals because individuals belief are some time different from family belief
Some time individuals develop their values and morals from family background and culture
People raise in the same house some time have different belief

oh I get you, but religion has got it's root in the family till perhaps the kids are grown to make choices. I doubt if we have got elders on nairaland . I mean people in their 60s and above. There are so many things the youth don't understand. I personally know as one grows he sees his past flaws clearly.

cococandy:


no they will spend it looking for the love the husbands didn't give them from their sons. Frustrating their daughters in law and generally being a nuisance to the young couple because they spent their youth and the age they should have been loving up living in bitterness .

This is deep menh, let me enlarge it

[size=24pt]no they will spend it looking for the love the husbands didn't give them from their sons. Frustrating their daughters in law and generally being a nuisance to the young couple because they spent their youth and the age they should have been loving up living in bitterness [/size]

also color it for those that have color blindness

no they will spend it looking for the love the husbands didn't give them from their sons. Frustrating their daughters in law and generally being a nuisance to the young couple because they spent their youth and the age they should have been loving up living in bitterness

The color is not even showing. Mtcheew

saucechilli:


This is deep menh, let me enlarge it

[size=24pt]no they will spend it looking for the love the husbands didn't give them from their sons. Frustrating their daughters in law and generally being a nuisance to the young couple because they spent their youth and the age they should have been loving up living in bitterness [/size]

also color it for those that have color blindness



The color is not even showing. Mtcheew

lol. that Is true 100percent. Tales of clashes between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law mostly arise because the mothers forget that the sons aren't their husbands. The man who should have been loving them and giving them the attention they need didn't do that. Probably abused them and cheated on them all through the marriage and they swallowed the bitter pills "because of their kids". Now a daughter- in-law wants to come steal their consolation from them? It didn't dey.

cococandy:
lol. that Is true 100percent. Tales of clashes between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law mostly arise because the mothers forget that the sons aren't their husbands. The man who should have been loving them and giving them the attention they need didn't do that. Probably abused them and cheated on them all through the marriage and they swallowed the bitter pills "because of their kids". Now a daughter- in-law wants to come steal their consolation from them? It didn't dey.

This is clearly an assumption, there's no way you could possibly know this.

You'll be a mother-in-law someday who may just feel the need to frustrate her daughter-in-law.

crackhaus:

This is clearly an assumption, there's no way you could possibly know this.

You'll be a mother-in-law someday who may just feel the need to frustrate her daughter-in-law.

but seriously do we still have mother in laws coming to disturb their sons' wives these days.thats ancient if you ask me . I have not seen such in 20 years. Perhaps, except those who reside in the village with their nuclear families.

To put this story to rest
Girls/women please cut off all men D to end men cheating
Have good life ladies

crackhaus:

This is clearly an assumption, there's no way you could possibly know this.

You'll be a mother-in-law someday who may just feel the need to frustrate her daughter-in-law.

Most women who become so attached to their sons usually don't have husbands - dead or alive.

crackhaus:



You'll be a mother-in-law someday who may just feel the need to frustrate her daughter-in-law.

why would I feel that need? People who feel such need are usually people who are frustrated themselves. So question is why will I be living in bitterness up to the point of frustration with no hope for change or repentance from such a man and do nothing about it because erm he's a man and there's nothing I can do about it or one of those other lame hare brained excuses some females come up with to excuse bad behavior just to feel like they are not the only ones in misery.

No sir,if I do have a son sometime in this life,in my middle age or old age I will be very occupied picking the grey hairs from my darling husband's hair than going around fomenting trouble for my daughter in law because I can't stand the loving my son is giving her.
Ain't nobady gat time for that shiit

majekdom2:
but seriously do we still have mother in laws coming to disturb their sons' wives these days.thats ancient if you ask me . I have not seen such in 20 years. Perhaps, except those who reside in the village with their nuclear families.

you're so cut off from the core Nigerian society

majekdom2:
but seriously do we still have mother in laws coming to disturb their sons' wives these days.thats ancient if you ask me . I have not seen such in 20 years. Perhaps, except those who reside in the village with their nuclear families.

I guess you should ask the ones complaining about it on this thread, maybe it's personal experience.

My paternal granny is still alive - very old and fragile, but alive...and they say my father is her favourite.
I have no incidences or memory of her ever having a disagreement with my mother, like never.

She is also the first wife of three married to my late paternal grandfather.

I just didn't get their logic equating troublesome MILs to abuse and cheating...

cococandy:


why would I feel that need? People who feel such need are usually people who are frustrated themselves. So question is why will I be living in bitterness up to the point of frustration with no hope for change or repentance from such a man and do nothing about it because erm he's a man and there's nothing I can do about it or one of those other lame hare brained excuses some females come up with to excuse bad behavior just to feel like they are not the only ones in misery.

No sir,if I do have a son sometime in this life,in my middle age or old age I will be very occupied picking the grey hairs from my darling husband's hair than going around fomenting trouble for my daughter in law because I can't stand the loving my son is giving her.
Ain't nobady gat time for that shiit

Dont you think its female nature to pick petty quarrels?

The men who found no fulfillment in their matrimonial homes, How come they are not disturbing their daughters husband?

Have we not seen how girls pick petty fights even in school hostels over ordinary bunk space while in the boys hostel you would barely know who owns the space? Or are those transferring aggression from their matrimonial homes too?

Even on this forum how many times have we seen female posters just stay on each others throat for years or those ones are transferring marital frustrations too

thorpido:
Most women who become so attached to their sons usually don't have husbands - dead or alive.

Bullsh1t!
What if she has more than one son, she'd be attached to all of them the same way, yes?

My take is that MIL-DIL relationships are dependent more on the chemistry between both than on just the MIL - she may not just like her son's new wife.

crackhaus:

Bullsh1t!
What if she has more than one son, she'd be attached to all of them the same way, yes?

My take is that MIL-DIL relationships are dependent more on the chemistry between both than on just the MIL - she may not just like her son's new wife.

I think its female nature. The MIL people are complaining about today also complained about their own MIL 30yrs ago, 30yrs from now another set of wifes would be complaining about these MIL
MIL vs wife saga is a common occurrence all over the world even in cultures the men dont "cheat like the devil Nigerian men"

crackhaus:



I just didn't get their logic equating troublesome MILs to abuse and cheating...

it is very simple. A Frustrated,unhappy and suffering-in-silence wife equals a volcano waiting to erupt. Only a matter of time before she blows and since she can't take it out on the almighty man who is the cause of her sorrows so that she won't be seen as the unafrican anti marriage feminist evil woman, she takes it out those beneath her. House-helps, daughters in law et al.
While posing for 25years or silver jubilee celebration of a "happily" married life.

cococandy:


why would I feel that need? People who feel such need are usually people who are frustrated themselves. So question is why will I be living in bitterness up to the point of frustration with no hope for change or repentance from such a man and do nothing about it because erm he's a man and there's nothing I can do about it or one of those other lame hare brained excuses some females come up with to excuse bad behavior just to feel like they are not the only ones in misery.

No sir,if I do have a son sometime in this life,in my middle age or old age I will be very occupied picking the grey hairs from my darling husband's hair than going around fomenting trouble for my daughter in law because I can't stand the loving my son is giving her.
Ain't nobady gat time for that shiit

You missed the point in that bit you quoted.

This is the point:
The troublesome mother-in-laws you say are embittered and frustrated didn't wake up one early sunny morning some yonder years ago to say, 'hey, my son will grow up soon and get married...I'm going to hate/frustrate his wife'.

Do you get it?