The problem is with you. Please you should know that, one of the reasons why majority of the ladies are yearning to have a matrimony home is the pleasure in sex. When you have that in mind, you will get yourself prepared for the act. The problem you are having is, you refuse to change your orientation about sex. That orientation of what sex is when you were single is still guarding your metality till now. The early you release that you are now married and change your orientation to face the fact, the better for you. Try in as much as you can to key in into the act of love making and the pleasure associated with it. This will help you out of your shell, enhance the preparedness of all your organs that is associated with love making. Cooperate with your husband as he makes some advances that will lure you into having sex with your full mind. Then, this will set your organs ready for pleasurable love making with less or without pain. In alternative, if his manhood is so big, advice him on vaseline gel lubrication on his manhood before the act, though, sometime it is difficult to see oversize manhood at your age (26) no matter how big a man's manhood is when compared with women vagina. Thank You!

you should analyse her story very well before shouting divorce...

RedBenson:
I stated it in the former thread that the wife is the problem they are facing. I wont type much sha, but Madam, learn to advance in your mentality in issues of marriage. Saying "your husband rapes you" sounds ridiculous. He's only taking charge of what rightly belongs to him. As far as i am concerned, he never raped you. He only had sex with you as his wife. Simple! Change your mentality/orientation and you'll see you'll begin to enjoy your marriage. Give him that pusssy you've kept away from him for over 3yrs as much as he wants. E no dey easy to be starved of pusssy for that long and then opportunity comes, if na me sef, na devour i for devour d pusssy. Lol.

oh boy shut up, i'm very sure that from her description of the man, the man won't be able to stay for 3yrs without having sex, dude was probably visiting brothels for his sex sessions and was waiting to pounce on this virgin pucci, he knew that his ticket to this virgin pucci's penetration was marriage, dude finally got his ticket,
i know say ashawo boys like u go dey hail am say him be champion but the man is a maniac.
If he tried this in a western country with a white woman, na 21yrs we for dey talk about now

WAIT LET ME ASK YOU DIS, HU R U DAT UR HUSBAND HAS TO BEG U FOR SEX? SO U WANT TO BE MARRIED AND REMAIN A VIRGIN? Y DIDNT U GO AND BECOM A NUN? MY NL PPL CAN YOU IMAGINE? SO IF UR HUSBAND COMES HOME SAD, YOU CAN'T EVEN CHEER HIM UP. U BE BAD MARKET. U BETA CHANGE . FOR ME I WON'T SUGEST DIVORCE. STOP THINKING OF DIVORCE COS IF U DIVORCE HIM, U WIL STIL DIVORCE UR NXT HUSBAND.

Some comments here are just so funny.
So many imbeciles advising her to divorce a wedding not up to a week?. Some lunatics are even advising her to kill the husband?. SMH.
Why not teach her how to please her husband sexually?. This young man had endured a "no sex" relationship which I knew 99.9% of guys cannot accept, this same guy paid for bride price and ceremony? And you all expect the same guy to be begging his legally married wife for sex?.
Is she not supposed to do her homework properly throughout the 3 years?. Why must she be covering herself?, sleeping with her back facing her husband? And even refusing to bath with her husband whom she is legally married to?.
Common. That young man deserves a good sex for all his years of patience and endurance. Seriously, some people's brain needed electrocution. SMH

TomiwaDamola:
Get a divorce before he begins to do even worse to you.
Also [b]report him to the police [/b]and women's rights groups. You shouldn't have to suffer just because you didn't put out while you were dating.

at the boldened. If she is based in Naija and she does that, naija police might end up arresting her and charge her to court for "refusal to comply with her lawful wedded husband: a constituted authority"

[size=58pt]Death to christianity[/size]!

From the stables of Wale Adenuga's Production

BOTH OF U VE DIFFERENT SEXUAL DRIVE. U GUYS RE NOT MATCH 4 EACH OTHER SEXUALLY. JUST KEEP UP WITH HIS PACE U WILL SOON B LIKE HIM

[b][/b][center][/center]

blesie:
So i narrated how little i can of my ordeal since i got married to this man here last week - https://www.nairaland.com/2030889/he-punishing-me-honey-moon

While i got alot of advises from our dear Nairalanders, i had resolve before not to tell the pastor or my parent but to talk to him as many advised, i couldn't look him in the eye actually, i tried to do that many times since that Friday but I couldnt, so i said ok, after sunday service i will build up courage to confront him and voice out my opinion to him.

So on sunday, it was going to be our first sunday after wedding, i had arrange our wears, his and my own, i woke up early to make breakfast for him and prepare him for church, before he woke up i was already in the kitchen so i ask him to take his bath and lets go early.

He took breakfast (i don't take breakfast so i didnt eat), we were all fully dressed and ready to set out, i packed our bible and writing note into the car and the gift we wanted to give our pastor too inside the car.

it was almost time and i said, so shall we, he said not yet and i said what is remaining, he said you're remaining, you havent given me nothing this morning, i said but you just took breakfast, he said nope, i haven't had you. This is like 10minutes for church to start oo.

He came closer and i said please dont let us waste time lets go. He changed. Don't let us do what? did you just say waste time? he dragged me down the couch and started what i will call rape again, at the process he had rough handled everything i wore, roughen my hair, i started crying, he walk down the wardrobe pick up something and ask me to wear it, i told him i'm not going to church again, he started begging that i can't do that but i keep refusing.

He shouted i should let us go, and i refused. He came back and raped me again till i agree i will go. So i dressed up and just ran into my own car, took off.

He thought i was going to church, he also entered the car and make his way to church. When he got to church he called me. I didn't answer the phone. i came home and was lying on the bed thinking of what next to do. i was actually thinking of running away without a word so he can come look for me forever.

So he got to church and the pastor and wife ask him about me, he said i must be inside. The pastor sensed something. did you say she must be inside? Did you two not come together bla bla bla. After serious enquiries he opened up that we had an issue in the morning.

I was lying down and i heard the door bell, i thought he was the one, i did not open it. The bell rang a thousand times i ignored it. The pastor wife called but i didn't answer, so because my car was parked inside they knew i was around. Finally i opened and here my pastor and wife have left the congregation standing there with him.

So they came in and ask me what happened, i told them i wanted a divorce, that my husband was killing me. They ask me what happened, if he was beating me or denying me of sex of not providing etc. I told them he raped me everything over everything and that my greatest surprise was to know he is doing all of these because i couldn't let him have sex with me while we were dating.

They then turned to him and ask him what happened. I never knew some people can talk so well that will make a bad case look good. Anyway he's a barrister.

He said: "Pastor i don't know why this happen but i knew i never ask God to give me a virgin as a wife. My brother married a virgin and till today he cannot enjoy sex so he has resulted to having sex outside wedlock but i have promised myself that i wont do that. Whether she likes it or not, she must satisfy me.

Ever since i met her over 3 years ago, i loved her, even though she told me no sex, i thought she was just been careful so i left her. For 3 years i never touched any woman. Here i was thinking she was practising romance, or sex style she will give me on wedding night because she did not have any virgin trait on her. She was exposed (works in the media), talks fearlessly, gives me headache so i thought oh she is a tough girl.

But on our wedding night, my wife here comes into the room. Before i could finish a call, she rushes to take her bath, cover herself up like she is going for a Mecca trip. She comes here lying with her back facing me. I thought to myself, but this is the same lady that smiles and laughs throughout na. What would have happened? i said ok pls come and bath me. She refused. i had to beg. Then she came standing 50 metres away, throwing water on my body, i got so angry i wanted to beat her up but i calmed down and before i could say jack, she got angry that she is not bathing me anymore. I met her again in the room and she said she tired and want to sleep, i tried to beg her she refused I then say to myself, so after begging her for 3 years to date me, kneel down to propose, beg her parent, beg the church i have to beg again for sex in this house. Not in my life! So i had my way, and i made sure i wasn't hurting her because i realised the first time she was a virgin.

Just to please her that she was a virgin which wasnt much of a big deal to me, i entered a car shop, got her a car, i told her this is for you, she said thanks like i bought her a biscuit and the next morning she left to her office in her own car.

She returned and i wanted to kiss her and she said i was disturbing her that she is tired. I was so angry. Whenever i I'm angry, i just have sex with her to calm myself down so i dont go drinking or even beat her. The only day i can admit to raping her was when she returned from work and i had sex with her. She stayed on the couch crying. I took wine in two glasses, gave her one but she pushed the wine glass away from me.
Please don't let this silly advice some people are putting up here to destroy your mirrage. Pls i'm in the same
He continued. "I then said jokingly, 'you see its your time to cry now, im giving you those hot sex so you remember the times you used to punish me, insult me and make me go through hardtime but you've got to change now because I'm your husband, if not you will be crying like this.

Then my wife stood up and said to me, 'God will judge you for your wickedness!'

What!!! So i am wicked for having have sex with my wife? The same woman i paid a huge ransom to her calabar relations to marry her? I got so angry so i raped the hell out of her that day. She almost fainted, though i felt bad afterwards.

So this morning, we were set for church. I wanted to kiss her and just touch her a little because she was looking beautiful. She started that stubbornness again. She pushed me away like trash so i showed her I'm more powerful by having sex with her and she said she wasn't going to church anymore.

I brought something else for her to wear she refused and i remember she does anything i want her to do while having sex with her so i gave her another round and she ran out to the car. I thought she has left for church but no. So, this is what i have been passing through."

My pastor wife was first to comment. She said "What!!! Did you do all that i heard?"

I said, "No ma, he is not saying it the way it is. He raped me."

So they started asking the questions one after the other. ''Did you bath only you on your wedding night?''

My husband jumps in. "Ask her if she ever bath with me together since we were married!"

At that point, i felt like asking him to stop talking. My pastor said, "how old are you again? In case i have forgotten". i said "26, sir".

He said "Why na.. why, did you not read? But you are learned na. Why did you have to do all of these?"

The pastor turns to the wife and said, "mummy, did you not put her through counselling?"

They all started blaming me and apologizing to my husband. My pastor's wife had a one on one with me. They asked me to kneel to beg him.

They ask me to dress up lets go to church, it was suppose to be our thanksgiving sunday. I told them, "i wont be able to go as my eyes was already red". In my mind I'd rather sit and start thinking of how i can satisfy this man.

As advised, i bath with him last night, as expected he had sex with me in the bathroom, i felt like fainting but i kept quiet this time. I bear it like its a price i have to pay.

We had sex 3 times before the night was over. Now he is happy.

HONESTLY IF I KNEW THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE. THEY DID NOT PURSUE ME OUT

pls don't listen to d advise some foolish pple put up here, they are not here to help you, they want to destroy ur marriage. I'm in d same plight, but tank God my man has a change of hrt now. U can call me for further details 08052314536

There are three sides to every your side his side and the right side. First of all your pastor was surpose to counsel you both seperatly to get both sides and then jointly to give the right side I guess time did not permit him to do that. I think you should pray concerning this issue, for you both to marry you must have love for each other and love worketh no I'll against his brother not to talk of his own flesh, you both are making huge withdrawals from your love bank accounts and the reverse should be the case, you both have to rekindle your love for each other and make your marriage work.

andromida:


Romantic? he is inconsiderate of her feelings how can she be romantic? did he have to marry her?

She is not denying him sex, he is raping her anytime she says no. I don't understand he is acting so cruel to his wife and its just one week i can't wrap my mind around this even if she acted pompous when they were dating he had a choice to leave why wait for three years just to rape your wife. Is he a psychopath, a sociopath? What a wicked man!

Andromida come to think of it, goto the first thread on her first post


on there wedding night he demanded for a hot bath, which she denied him , can you just imagine ,shes suppose to be excited and happy, about the wedding but she's doing like she hates him or something
you understand, he has been waiting for 3years

From her story she hasn't even given him sex willingly ,more of like its a one sided thing needed by the guy only but its not meant to be so.

that lady is not romantic, or she hates the guy or she dislikes sex completely
S

pweetixandy:
he is a monster that can be tamed with some good loving. Did anyone teach her how to use d guy when they were dating,no one has to teach her how to love a man and treat him right.

Look, even if you are a virgin , one knows if he\she is an emotional person or not. You cant starve a guy for three years, and after that you start giving him stories. Am not supporting the guy, but am saying her uncalculated crafts are producing negative effects.

If this story is true, these are my position:

The man's concept of marriage is flawed - he is treating her like an asset he acquired, to the extent that he would rape her. How do you see such sex where the man is trilled & satisfied while the woman is sad, battered and wounded. Who enjoys such sex?

The man being a lawyer is a trained liar. He probably used that to bail himself at the court of Mr & Mrs pastor. God dey oh!

The man should forget the initial sakara she did for three years, it is part of the game and he might have had it hard but he needs to imbibe the spirit of forgiveness so that he can save his marriage.

The man should try to understand his wife, give her opportunity to make up for the ish over the years, tolerate her and help her become a better woman. Rape is definitely not a show of love.

The Lady might not be telling the whole truth but I have a lot of reasons to believe her side of the story, if true. She should involve her parents and his parents in the matter, the Pastor isn't helping matters.

one question OP are u intending to become a writer because if u are u'd better start looking elsewhere because writing is definitely not for you plus this story is dogsh8t didn't need to read much before i knew.

nice fiction... pilot test for your nollywood script

sunnyflakes:
BOTH OF U VE DIFFERENT SEXUAL DRIVE. U GUYS RE NOT MATCH 4 EACH OTHER SEXUALLY. JUST KEEP UP WITH HIS PACE U WILL SOON B LIKE HIM

You don't think he should slow down his pace?
If she's supposed to be catching up to him, then he's expected to slow down first and then carry her along.

Abi sex na marathon?

pweetixandy:
he is a monster that can be tamed with some good loving. Did anyone teach her how to use d guy when they were dating,no one has to teach her how to love a man and treat him right.

A monster that can be tamed with some good loving. You sound like a white gal

sarutobie:

so you go say no sex to your fiance for three years, and when he finally puts a ring on it, you still say no sex on your wedding night? taaa! gbafuo gi!

Nwanem dont quote me wrong, i never said she shudnt give him any.....but dat kind of punishment is extreme na. A nu ma like umuwoke like him!

onihaxy:
Some comments here are just so funny.
So many imbeciles advising her to divorce a wedding not up to a week?. Some lunatics are even advising her to kill the husband?. SMH.
Why not teach her how to please her husband sexually?. This young man had endured a "no sex" relationship which I knew 99.9% of guys cannot accept, this same guy paid for bride price and ceremony? And you all expect the same guy to be begging his legally married wife for sex?.
Is she not supposed to do her homework properly throughout the 3 years?. Why must she be covering herself?, sleeping with her back facing her husband? And even refusing to bath with her husband whom she is legally married to?.
Common. That young man deserves a good sex for all his years of patience and endurance. Seriously, some people's brain needed electrocution. SMH

GBAM

Indeed some people on this thread are ret.arded goons, infact i got infuriated by some comments here

Ggg

onihaxy:
Some comments here are just so funny.
So many imbeciles advising her to divorce a wedding not up to a week?. Some lunatics are even advising her to kill the husband?. SMH.
Why not teach her how to please her husband sexually?. This young man had endured a "no sex" relationship which I knew 99.9% of guys cannot accept, this same guy paid for bride price and ceremony? And you all expect the same guy to be begging his legally married wife for sex?.
Is she not supposed to do her homework properly throughout the 3 years?. Why must she be covering herself?, sleeping with her back facing her husband? And even refusing to bath with her husband whom she is legally married to?.
Common. That young man deserves a good sex for all his years of patience and endurance. Seriously, some people's brain needed electrocution. SMH

THIS!

andromida:


She does not have to divorce him. She can try a separation until he comes to his senses or they can have two homes he should be demoted to boyfriend level and married on paper since he can't control his animal instincts around her they can have visitation rights if kids show up whatever works for her and if they divorce i hope he can live with the stigma of divorce as well that is if this story is true.

I lost my virginity @ 27, even while l was a virgin, l was sure l love Bleep. Even the woman l want to marry now, told me she's a virgin, since l've not had Bleep with her l wouldnt know, but l believe her.
Look, l was quick to tell her this, '' l love xx much, so if you are not that type back-off, cos am not ready to play games.

Nawa oh,madam this your story get as e bi oh, anyway my advice is tat if you can't tolerate his sexual appetite pack your bag and run fast before you die.
because anywhere you go complain na d same story wey your pastor talk na hin u go still hear, so dear na you Knw where e dey pain you no need complaining here pple will always be pple not many will come to your rescue na only you can rescue urself, but as for me oh its depends on how rough d guy does it u Knw some men like it rough and some women likes it rough too if u feel its too rough for you and its hurt your private I advice u to pack plenty lubricant put so d ting go just dey enter smoothly and without stress, and again its ur mind set you ve already set your mind tat ur husband is a beast if only you can channel tat mind set to accommodating him and trying to enjoy his sex you would gradually like d roughness sumting.

Readonee35L:



Andromida come to think of it, goto the first thread on her first post


on there wedding night he demanded for a hot bath, which she denied him , can you just imagine ,shes suppose to be excited and happy, about the wedding but she's doing like she hates him or something
you understand, he has been waiting for 3years

From her story she hasn't even given him sex willingly ,more of like its a one sided thing needed by the guy only but its not meant to be so.

that lady is not romantic, or she hates the guy or she dislikes sex completely
S

Possibly she has issues as well BUT he is her husband why that level of violence she was crying after the act and he just kept demanding for more what kind of man is that? Didn't i read "he said he was giving her hot sex" this man is not in tune with her feelings he can't be a good husband to her. About the hot bath maybe she was shy some gentle treatment would have yielded results he just jumped from no hot bath to raping her.

blesie:
blesie

without hearing from ur husband it may be difficult to tell his fault, but from ur own admission, It is pretty clear you did not really love him and so basic things like bathing with ur husband and being romantic is difficult. He may have his faults, but after dating for 3 years and going through rigours of marriage, having a wife that considers his sexual advances as rape is a big disappointment. Even if he is bruttish, it's up to you to make him a gentleman.
I suggest u work things out with between urselfs, else he will still likely cheat on you when he is tired of fighting for sex everytime

You people are viewing it from the point of the huusband alone, let him come and narrate his own ordeal too. I partly blame the wife, as a virgin your wedding night should be d best nigght yet u turned it into something else cause of ur stubborness, u refused to bath with ur husband, u lied on bed like a log of wood, to kiss him na wahala, to suck dick self u no fit do! He has been faithful for 3ryears he doesn't deserve to be sex starved. If u had given him peacefully u wwunt be here complaning. A man dat bought u a car few days after wedding. He loves u, sex is only d problem, try to blend ehn. If you divorce him and starve ur next husband of sex na divorce go end am again. Improve ur sex life! Shikena

Stelvin101:


A monster that can be tamed with some good loving. You sound like a white gal

i m a nigerian jor..u like white girls? I can be white for u

This kind of story will only touch the heart of weak men cos I know it's a ''make up'' tory.

For goodness sake that man is sick. He said he has sex when he is angry in other to calm down, who does that. And he almost made you fainted like twice.

Some ladies are just so f*cking annoying and outrightly silly!!!!goddamn dia sorry bottom to hell anyways!!,@op ur hubby needs love and affection nt just sex,he's only punishing u for ur short comings in dose two areas,ion see how ur hubby's gonna rape u if u d one leading him to d bedroom,ion see how he's gonna scream @ u wen u lavish him with kisses any chance u get,give him hugs,hold him tight show him u need him,lay on his chest,play around d house with him,stop being so rigid n annoying around him,make dis changes and enjoy ur relationship,and if u can't adapt to d new environment u find ursef in,or if he aint ready to change from his beastly behaviour den divorce his sorry ass!!marriage aint a must for petes sake,and please u nid to quit telling us dis tales u only tryna earn some cheap pity from d public,u aint here to learn or stick to d advice folks r giving u here,cuz if u r,u should have given us a diff story today bout d changes u made from d advice given last week,n his lack of change in attitude,peace!