jnrbayano:


Are you guys still living together now?

what difference does that make and how is this question relevant ? lmao

sukkot:
what difference does that make and how is this question relevant ? lmao

From your answer I can deduce you don't live together anymore. The past tense "lived" you used severally is also a pointer.

Now, why don't you live together anymore? Lack of the "unimportant" piece of paper.

No?

jnrbayano:


From your answer I can deduce you don't live together anymore. The past tense "lived" you used severally is also a pointer.

Now, why don't you live together anymore? Lack of the "unimportant" piece of paper.

No?

i was young in mind. i wasnt really ready to get married both mentally physically and spiritually. i was still going through discovering myself etc etc. many reasons. i wasnt ready to plug into the rat race so she can view me as responsible.

sukkot:
well you know her room will be right next door to my room. its not like its miles away. just a few steps. and we will have dinner dates in each others room to make it romantic. of course we would spend the nights in each other rooms but just not all the time. some time a man wants to be alone to think. we are individual entities first and then couples second. every human being needs some privacy sometimes

Ok. I get you now. Its not a bad idea sha. Many women wont mind.as long as romance is part of the deal. Because this different room idea is the fastest way to make a marriage get boring. When husband and wife live in thr same house like 2 strangers. What makes you guys feel like you know each other? What makes it possible for both of you to be able to care for each other in times of sickness? What do you think makes it possible for mothers to man up and care for a sick grown child? Because they have seen it all and done it all for that child. Imagine if that child was given to a nurse to do all the work and then obeday the nurse couldnt come to work early, how will that mom see her babys poop and vommit and spit? She will feel disgusted. That is because she and that child did not bond. Same reason kids care for parents too. They believe the parent packed their shite when they were babies and went the whole nine yards to care for them, thus its easy for them to do same when parents need help.
So my dear its not all that bad. If sanitary towel annoys you, tell her to keep it away from your sight, if you hate the smell of her $Hit, get a house with two toilets/ bathrooms so you guys have another place to use if one just finished pooping. . Nights when you want to be alone, you can leave the room for another room every ones in a while I am sure she will understand.

delishpot:


Ok. I get you now. Its not a bad idea sha. Many women wont mind.as long as romance is part of the deal. Because this different room idea is the fastest way to make a marriage get boring. When husband and wife live in thr same house like 2 strangers. What makes you guys feel like you know each other? What makes it possible for both of you to be able to care for each other in times of sickness? What do you think makes it possible for mothers to man up and care for a sick grown child? Because they have seen it all and done it all for that child. Imagine if that child was given to a nurse to do all the work and then obeday the nurse couldnt come to work early, how will that mom see her babys poop and vommit and spit? She will feel disgusted. That is because she and that child did not bond. Same reason kids care for parents too. They believe the parent packed their shite when they were babies and went the whole nine yards to care for them, thus its easy for them to do same when parents need help.
So my dear its not all that bad. If sanitary towel annoys you, tell her to keep it away from your sight, if you hate the smell of her $Hit, get a house with two toilets/ bathrooms so you guys have another place to use if one just finished pooping. . Nights when you want to be alone, you can leave the room for another room every ones in a while I am sure she will understand.

trust me when i say that is the solution to every marital problem. its not normal for two grown human beings to sleep in the same bed all the time. one may be someone who snores, or likes rolling over and occupying all the bed, some people start sleeping in a certain position and wake up in a totally different position, some people are noisy in bed etc etc. i think it is cute if done every other day but not all the time. listen, there is a reason why over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and this is because people fail to realize that we are individuals first and couples next. every human needs some space. when people cant get space to breath is when they divorce most times.

sukkot:
i was young in mind. i wasnt really ready to get married both mentally physically and spiritually. i was still going through discovering myself etc etc. many reasons. i wasnt ready to plug into the rat race so she can view me as responsible.

So you see that that "piece of paper" requires maturity of the bold for it to be signed.

Is just living with a woman same as getting into a marriage union with your spouse experience-wise?

Answer!

sukkot:
lmao. bruv ? these are the realities of life. nothing to do with me being sick. you never live with woman before ?

Owkay.. Dats d problem. Its like u've libved wit dozens of dem in ur lifetime.. No wonder d sick notion u got. Nonsense!

jnrbayano:


So you see that that "piece of paper" requires maturity of the bold for it to be signed.

Is just living with a woman same as getting into a marriage union with your spouse experience-wise?

Answer!

really ? maturity is needed to sign that marriage certificate ? care to tell me why most marriages end after only 1 year ? maturity eh ?

sukkot:
lmao. bruv ? these are the realities of life. nothing to do with me being sick. you never live with woman before ?

Owkay.. Dats d problem. Its like u've lived wit dozens of dem in ur lifetime.. No wonder d sick notion u got. Nonsense!

sukkot:
trust me when i say that is the solution to every marital problem. its not normal for two grown human beings to sleep in the same bed all the time. one may be someone who snores, or likes rolling over and occupying all the bed, some people start sleeping in a certain position and wake up in a totally different position, some people are noisy in bed etc etc. i think it is cute if done every other day but not all the time. listen, there is a reason why over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and this is because people fail to realize that we are individuals first and couples next. every human needs some space. when people cant get space to breath is when they divorce most times.

Like I said, I get where you are comming from. But, that alone is not the solution to a long lasting happy marriage. If the woman doesnt mind then by all means go ahead, just that with this idea of yours, if there is still no love, trust, romance and all, this arrangement will become borring soon. Before you know it, you may not allow her access to your room as offten as she wants, yesss, and you may not want to hang out in her room as offten as she wants too. what if she desires to be around you a lot? And you say no, you want to be alone. she will start resenting you and before you know it, when you enter her room for sex, she will start feeling like a tool. And then soon enough she will ask what you want when you enter her room. When you invite her over ahe may say she cant come now. Where is the romance in that one?
So like we both agree, yeah there are times a man newds his space and should be able to get it but it shouldnt be the only rule.
What about people who cant affird such luxury? They shouldnt marry or? If a woman made this same post now, it will be termed gold digging. Cos not every man can afford such big homes.

Percentile:



Owkay.. Dats d problem. Its like u've libved wit dozens of dem in ur lifetime.. No wonder d sick notion u got. Nonsense!

hey it is what it is bro. lmao

sukkot:
really ? maturity is needed to sign that marriage certificate ? care to tell me why most marriages end up after only 1 year ? maturity eh ?

Maturity is required doesn't translate that all who sign it are matured. Does it?

I ask again, Is just living with a woman same as getting into a marriage union with your spouse experience-wise?

delishpot:


Like I said, I get where you are comming from. But, that alone is not the solution to a long lasting happy marriage. If the woman doesnt mind then by all means go ahead, just that with this idea of yours, if there is still no love, trust, romance and all, this arrangement will beco,e borring soon. Before you know it, you may not allow her access to your room as offten as she wants, she will start resenting you and before you know it, when you enter her room for sex, she will start feeling like a tool. And then soon enough she will ask what you want when you enter her room. When you invite her over ahe may say she cant come now. Where is the romance in that one?
So like we both agree, yeah there are times a man newds his space and should be able to get it but it shouldnt be the only rule.
What about people who cant affird such luxury? They shouldnt marry or? If a woman made this same post now, it will be termed gold digging. Cos not every man can afford such big homes.

ahhh but you miss the point. this is directed only for nightime. throughout the rest of the day you are hanging out together, going places, watching tv etc etc. then at night if she has a headache or just wants to have privacy she can retire to her space. and likewise me. you making it out like we seperate for the rest of the day. this is strictly sleeping arrangements. throughout the day we are hanging colliding colluding and collaborating. and you dont need a big home in order to have 2 bedrooms. i have yet to see a one bedroom apartment or flat in naija

jnrbayano:


Maturity is required doesn't translate that all who sign it are matured. Does it?

I ask again, Is just living with a woman same as getting into a marriage union with your spouse experience-wise?

brah ? marriage certificate is just a piece of paper. i think you are placing wayyyyyyyy too much emphasis on that piece of paper. a piece of paper does not change who you are

sukkot:
brah ? marriage certificate is just a piece of paper. i think you are placing wayyyyyyyy too much emphasis on that piece of paper. a piece of paper does not change who you are

You will understand when the time is right.

Aurevoir friend

jnrbayano:


You will understand when the time is right.

Aurevoir friend

nothing to understand. its just a piece of paper. ini edo got married and divorced in a year. many of ya naija celebrities get married and sign paper and get divorced in a few months. a marriage certificate does not change who you are or your intentions. i think you are placing unnecessary emphasis on it.

sukkot:
now i am not advocating living with women you are not married to. these are past mistakes i made in my unenlightened days. so let me just throw that out there so you dont think i am a reprobate sinner. i have repented from doing that

delishpot:


Good Idea. But why not just make it like her small girl castle you guys sleep in the same room but she uas her small private corner to poop and change her sanitary stuff in peace. Women dont menstruate 365 days you know so why banish her to a room and only allow her "visit" you when you need $€X? My guy, better nor marry jare. Just enjoy having her as a babe and make sure she visits inly when she does not have shit in her tummy and when she isnt expecting her period. Have her only when you want to do the do, and if shit catch her while at your place, send her home sharp sharp
But if the woman doesnt mind being your on call bedmate disguised as wife sha, then go ahead. You are both adults.

even the days of our fore fathers women have their own quaters, they dont cook when on their period, no wonder the marriages were forever


p.s. read things fall apart by chinua achiebe

sukkot:
does it ever get to a point of familiarity and companionship in a wedding ( after a long period ) where you are now like best friends and ' family members ' and then trying to summon up a s-e-xual desire is akin to someone trying to to sleep with their brother or sister, especially if you now have children. apparently elvis presley could never ever bring himself to sleep with his wife priscilla again after she had his baby. and they never had s-e-x after that.

true

:Pn

TDstarr:
even the days of our fore fathers women have their own quaters, they dont cook when on their period, no wonder the marriages were forever


p.s. read things fall apart by chinua achiebe

That was because the men had many wives. The mans room had to be free cos no one wife can dominate the bed. The man had a woman in his bed every night. The wives had their duty roaster and besides, those men had plenty kids you can imagine how it will be if all the women and kids lived under the same roof and the husband slept with all the women in the same bed every night
To make life easy and avoid wahala, each wife was assigned her hut, where she and her kids will have freedom and privacy. No who took my salt? Who stole my meat? Who removed my soup from the fire and put her stupid pot? Who removed my wet clothes from the line? Mama mary go to the back its my turn to sleep on our husbands right hand side
That was why. Those women had no choice. If they did, they would not have lived that life. Ask any woman from those days. Ask them why they did not leave, 99% of them will say...... leave to where? No escaping the obvious they had no choice o.

Lol, Obadiah

sukkot:
ahhh but you miss the point. this is directed only for nightime. throughout the rest of the day you are hanging out together, going places, watching tv etc etc. then at night if she has a headache or just wants to have privacy she can retire to her space. and likewise me. you making it out like we seperate for the rest of the day. this is strictly sleeping arrangements. throughout the day we are hanging colliding colluding and collaborating. and you dont need a big home in order to have 2 bedrooms. i have yet to see a one bedroom apartment or flat in naija

Ok o. Like I said, with good planning it may work but if you dont plan well, it may not work. I did not say more than that o. you still need more than 2 seperate rooms to make a marriage work. Das all.
I know couples who practiced this type of arrangement, their marriage is just hanging there. It did not improve their relationship at all. It takes a lot for a woman to have a happy sex life. It is doable but it requires more effort to keep the union glowing

delishpot:
:Pn

That was because the men had many wives. The mans room had to be free cos no one wife can dominate the bed. The man had a woman in his bed every night. The wives had their duty roaster and besides, those men had plenty kids you can imagine how it will be if all the women and kids lived under the same roof and the husband slept with all the women in the same bed every night
To make life easy and avoid wahala, each wife was assigned her hut, where she and her kids will have freedom and privacy. No who took my salt? Who stole my meat? Who removed my soup from the fire and put her stupid pot? Who removed my wet clothes from the line? Mama mary go to the back its my turn to sleep on our husbands right hand side
That was why. Those women had no choice. If they did, they would not have lived that life. Ask any woman from those days. Ask them why they did not leave, 90% of them will say...... leave to where? No escaping the obvious they had no choice o.

not so bro, women naturally need space, my mum has her own room, same with my dad and they still tell each other i love you,

sukkot:
You know the level of familiarity i am talking about ? you have seen her on the toilet many times and smelt her shyttt, and you may have run into her inappropriately disposed bloody sa-nitary towels a few times etc etc. its like a family member now as opposed to a sex-ual desire driven union. its a companion union and no longer se-xually driven.

This is just gross.

sukkot:
lmao. hey, this is why me personally, i think in a marriage there should be separate rooms for the husband and wife. so she can have her privacy. and then when you guys are feeling romantic you visit each others rooms. i think this is what will make marriages last. you dont want to become too over familiar to where the attraction diminishes. she has her own toilet and bathroom in her room and i have mine in my room. so this way there is mystery conserved in the relationship. you dont want to totally demystify the relationship by sharing the same room 352 days in a year

WORD

sukkot:
true enough, we have waste and are human but still there are some things i like to pretend that women dont do. thats the kinda guy i am lmao. i have a sophisticated mind. i dont like anything crude or graphic. and i have to tell you i have run into many used tampons and pad. scared the living daylights out of me. i havent fully recovered yet

Lol. Werey.

kilokeys:

okay.. it seems u rnt close to ladies.. u r a newbie.. ill give u a law.. cletus law

there is an inch radius between the kpekus and the anus


so guy wake up from ur fairytale. women arent fairies.. they are human like me and u. accept it..
gosh.. wetin i dey follow ds psycho talk sef.
mtcheew problem of overfeeding..

guy no quote me again o.. #unfollows senseless thread

Lmao

Different strokes for different folks.
Wallahi talahi, YAH is the best planner

1 Corinthians 7:26-28
26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

sukkot:
does it ever get to a point of familiarity and companionship in a wedding ( after a long period ) where you are now like best friends and ' family members ' and then trying to summon up a s-e-xual desire is akin to someone trying to to sleep with their brother or sister, especially if you now have children. apparently elvis presley could never ever bring himself to sleep with his wife priscilla again after she had his baby. and they never had s-e-x after that.

In most 21st Century marriages, love dies a gradual death the minute the kids start coming possibly because the familiarity actually starts breeding contempt or tiredness from the amount of work involved in raising a young family or because you grow apart due to lack of open communication or boredom and resignation or fear of living with someone you are no longer on fire for and over time the love just depreciates due to bad treatment of one party by the other and the person who should normally be your best friend now becomes comparable to your worst enemy. Or how do you explain the epidemic proportions of divorce in 21st century marriages.

It is now no longer till death do us part and no one mates for life anymore at least not on the long run and it will get worse with the freedom the internet age brings to promiscuity and instant gratification at the blink of an eye couple with the sheer greed amongst todays humans. Animals (e.g pigeons and some other birds) on the other hand are now better than humans at mating for life.

The evidence of marriage becoming more obsolete by the day and going towards extinction is clear for all to see.

Marriage, fools rush in where angels fear to thread. No wonder the Bible says to abstain from marriage if you can hold your self.

Most people pre-marriage don't realise that the wedding day is a 100 metre dash whilst the marriage proper is a marathon than you can only successfully run if you patiently wait for and marry your soulmate.

delishpot:


Ok. I get you now. Its not a bad idea sha. Many women wont mind.as long as romance is part of the deal. Because this different room idea is the fastest way to make a marriage get boring. When husband and wife live in thr same house like 2 strangers. What makes you guys feel like you know each other? What makes it possible for both of you to be able to care for each other in times of sickness? What do you think makes it possible for mothers to man up and care for a sick grown child? Because they have seen it all and done it all for that child. Imagine if that child was given to a nurse to do all the work and then obeday the nurse couldnt come to work early, how will that mom see her babys poop and vommit and spit? She will feel disgusted. That is because she and that child did not bond. Same reason kids care for parents too. They believe the parent packed their shite when they were babies and went the whole nine yards to care for them, thus its easy for them to do same when parents need help.
So my dear its not all that bad. If sanitary towel annoys you, tell her to keep it away from your sight, if you hate the smell of her $Hit, get a house with two toilets/ bathrooms so you guys have another place to use if one just finished pooping. . Nights when you want to be alone, you can leave the room for another room every ones in a while I am sure she will understand.

Delish, you sef... You and sukkkot fit. You both have a love for graphic language.

TDstarr:
not so bro, women naturally need space, my mum has her own room, same with my dad and they still tell each other i love you,

Like I said before, if the woman is fine with it, then go ahead. Its like this, a woman with kids will naturally say ahh, kids are fun to have, kids are good I wont trade them for anything and she means every bit of it but she cant deny that she had to sacrifice a lot of her own comfort, sleep and peace of mind just to be a parent. That is to say, for every move you make, if you do not plan it well, it may back fire.
I never said its a bad Idea, I always said that alone wont help his marriage. I have seen marriages where the mabvworks in Abuja and his wife and kids are in PH, they still say I love you to each other and mean it. My poibt is, if it isnt planned well, the marriage wont survive. I remember my mom had her own room too. She loved my dad too. But look well, you will see that they are not that sexually involved unlike those that sleep in the same room where hubby can just turn around and reach for his woman at night . Most women at that stage have even given up on $ex , they are happy to be left alone. Dem don tire.
I am not saying a man shouldnt have his alone time o, but it shouldnt be the norm.
How can a young marriage cope