Rosarie:
my dear ur preg has nothing to do in d issue.infact wen u bth feel like nothin to discuss d baby somehw brings a talk.i took in ma weddin nite n went tru all u re sayin.marriage is patience.n above all prayers cos trust me satan is api wen couples quarrel or fight cos den u bth re vulnerable.ma dear hold GOD NOW dan ever.wen u feel tired tink of ur baby.due to so so quarrel i almost had ma bby tru operation cos i was always tinking n ma huby was alwys depressed.u both find it hard to agree on one thing.so now cast yr burden at GODS feet n jst tink of d bundle of joy.forgive n keep prayin dat where GOD needs to work on ur both characters he should.forget d divorce na mouth ur hubby dey.i n ma hubby said worse dan dose back then.i ve friends who also experienced same.we all look back n laugh.i showed ma hubby ur post n he said tell her we ve been dre n made it tru n same will b for her.but hold GOD in dat six years u had not been joined so d bth parties re been careful.plsssss dnt tell ur issues to friends if u want to njoy ur home.wen dat baby comes dts d sec u c first changes but like i said one party has to come down for d other no matter d hurts dat does not mean doing it to stipudity level.jst try n avoid some issues then wen d other party is calm evn if it takes weeks politely talk tins tru n as a woman b patient in d walk of marriage n life

zeb04:
he hasn't changed and you know that because you the one leaving with him.

Someone who is alredy threating divorce 2months into marriage.

Please fear God oh
Stop being biased.If you are a christian,give christianly advice.

Timbuktou:
Is it really that difficult to look at things from someone else's perspective, especially if they're more experienced than one is?

TV01:

Where did I offer any advice? Carefreewannabe was interested to know what I thought, I responded in a tongue in cheek manner. Feel free to offer your own advice to the issue, rather than taking it upon yourself to grade other peoples posts or analyse their faith.

Toodles

TV

Timbuktou:
Which is where I think the problem may lie. Perhaps, she may not have gone on with the marriage knowing his true opinion on her personality. She's not the only one he coulda married, that's not wise of him in my opinion. Divorce-whispering after only two months of marriage is ridiculous.

chaircover:
Its likely that something must have changed

You need to ask yourself some serious and truthful questions
What could have triggered this . .
it could it be anything eg the pregnancy (was it planned), the traditional wedding (families are very good at flexing during weddings), an attitude of yours he has constantly complained about, that you said you would work on, his financial situation after spending on the wedding, it could even be something as simple as his things being moved from where he put them now that there are 2 of you living in the house. . . .

After taking a deep look at what could have casued this, then you have a heart to heart talk with him and ask him what you have done/doing/did and take it from there. If its just new weddng blues, then explain to him how unhappy his attitide makes you feel

Yes!! if there were issues or you had done something wrong, then he should have called you first and he shouldnt use harsh words on you and the divorce word shouldnt be used anyhow, but sometimes one of you has to be the "bigger" person if you indeed truly want it to work and marriage is indeed a school of its own where both partners are contonously learning.
There will be times when he too will be the "bigger" person . . . . . .It goes round in roundabouts.

Dont forget that you are pregnant, so you really dont want anything stressing you, so the earluer you can both resolve whatever the issue is and settle into a peaceful union, the better. Dont also forget to pray for your marriage, you and him . . . Very important.

crackhaus:
Interesting...

After putting up with your attitude/character (which you conveniently failed to expand on) for six years, can you blame him for getting fed up just two months after getting married?
He probably made the mistake of believing you would change after putting a ring on it, only you can help yourself at the end of the day.

It shocks me because he knew my character and my personality before he asked me to marry him yet he did.

**I'm liking this...I think I'll adopt a more consult role from now on...only post when I'm specifically asked to. Perhaps direct people to the relevent parts of my large body or work here on NL **

TV01:


...this one has solipsistic, entitlement princess written all over it i.e. I was a right cow, and not only did he not complain, he brought me extra grass ! Well now he owns you and he's milking you. Deal wid it !

He did her a favour. Bore with the rubbish during courtship and wifed her. A few more relationships like that and she would have hit the wall - hard - and then had to go through the worse situation of struggling to find someone she liked who would even look at her - desperation.

This way she gets to learn on the job instead of being long-term unemployed ! All she has to do is put up with him as he mans up - just like he did for her. If she's smart she'll adopt wisdom and a concilitaroy approach. He's currently "dealing with her" and she can ameriolate that with a little wisdom and humility.

Notin' spoil

TV


^{**I'm liking this...I think I'll adopt a more consult role from now on...only post when I'm specifically asked to. Perhaps direct people to the relevent parts of my large body or work here on NL **}

TV01:


I smell "entitlement princess". Probably feels she's all that and a bag of chips - any man that gets her is lucky and probably not really deserving.

Oga may well have pandered to this a little during courtship, but no more - he don put a ring on it ! Madam is still forming princess - she's really only a grade II administative assistant for Ikorodu LGA - and doesn't like the fact that reality has bitten. No probs, she'll be fine by the time bambino arrives - she'd better be

He hasn't changed a bit - she woke up !


TV

Aprime:
He Has Changed.. Almost Completely.

He has stopped pretending... Almost completely.

I'm sorry. Am only interested in your title.

crowns2:
@OP very sorry for what you are going through. They say marriage is very different from courtship. Now you have entered the blending stage. Its not time to relax now is the time for you to listen to him more do what he likes. When he is talking harsh don't talk back. Be quiet. Do your duties as a wife. Even when he goes out angry still make sure to keep his food when he gets back home. Now you are pregnant shouldn't be an excuse to deny him sex. Give it to him the way you used to. Also still dress appealing make the home neat. Above all never ever bring your parents or his into it. Solve your problems by yourself. Good luck.

Nonso23:

I tell you!
It's now on an all time high with no signs of letting up any time soon.
Too many unrealistic expectations.

freecocoa:
Even if OP is the one with all the faults, why did this man have to accept it all those years only to cry divorce now? People just like putting themselves in trouble sha, mschew.

Nonso23:

I tell you!
It's now on an all time high with no signs of letting up any time soon.
Too many unrealistic expectations.

freecocoa:
Even if OP is the one with all the faults, why did this man have to accept it all those years only to cry divorce now? People just like putting themselves in trouble sha, mschew.

byvan:



What are you on about? Her husband asked for divorce, why won't she grant it or is marriage by force where you come from? If I am a marriage counselor, yes no worthless marriage will survive my tutelage. They are not even wedded! Dragging someone kicking and thrashing to the altar will always end in regret. This man is already fed up, you can't force a man to remain a husband when he has checked out already, the better people get this, the easier for everyone.

crackhaus:

Apparently in her mind, this dude has to keep on putting up with her character and personality as he always did for six years.

crackhaus:

And you're indeed right on that bit @bold, maybe it's her turn to put up with him - after all if he could do it for six years, she should at least try to do it for a quarter of that time until both can find a common ground.

Odunharry:
crackhaus and TV01 una be clown,

Odunharry:
crackhaus and TV01 una be clown,

Nonso23:

Aside the fact that it's unrealistic and puts unnecessary pressure on your partner and the relationship it is very selfish.

bukatyne:


Honestly, I do not get 'courtship is different'; 'boyfriend takes nonsense hubby is showing up' mentality. And sadly, this does not affect the male folk alone. You will see a lady who has no intention of reckoning with MIL after marriage going to wash her clothes during courtship.

Why can't people be real? If you do not like A, state it and either be patient for your partner to change and move on...

That's why a lot of ladies feel marriage is a bondage... you are smiling with bros, you do not know what he will manifest to after marriage.

freecocoa:
It's really a pity, see the comments on here sef, all sounding like that's how it's supposed to be, smh.