I and my friends were having a general guys chat about irrelevant topics; most especially girls when I dropped the bomb.


Uthman: I still regret not learning how to ride a bicycle up till now.

Hollu: Its because you're too lazy and you sometimes behave like a woman.

Me: Look at this Uthman ooo, why didn't you inform me so I can teach you how to ride it.

Uthman: Fatal, shey you sabi ride bicycle nii.

Me: Haa, you have no idea, not only can I ride bicycle, I can also pull some stunts, I got speed and more importantly, I can ride bicycle from Lagos to Ilorin.

Stiker: Haa, Fatalveli, baba werey, You mean you free ride bicycle from Lagos to Ilorin.

Me: You think I'm lieing abi, okay let another subsidy or election take place, there won't be any movement of cars on the highway then and I'll gonna show you that I'm one hell of a cyclist.

My friends laughed so hard that day that the laughter irks me, they even reported me and told all the passers by that got curious and asked them why they where laughing and cursing me my tale. I was so embarrassed that day like shit.


Another one loading. You all are free to add yours but no derailing ooo.

Mods, don't move this away from here, I intentionally posted it on romance section because of some stuffs it entails.....

I'll KiP CoNneCtED

I don't tell lies. Am too lazy to. Can't stress my brains trying to remember what I said before,so I just stick with the truth. That's all.

Striker: That third mainland bridge is long ooo, the people that built it really tried.

Hollu: I sometimes wonder how they placed those pillars inside the water, I respect Julius berger ooo.

Uthman: Omo me no get time for that jare, I dey hungry like hell.

Striker: Ebi lon pa mona-mona ku

Me: I dey travel go somewhere one day when I saw one bridge that went directly into the lagoon.

Hollu: Fatal, baba agba, No.1 where you see the bridge jare.

Me: I don forget the place but I no wetin I saw sha.

Striker: Na sango go kill you Fatalveli I swear, you free lie sha, shey them carry swear give you nii.

Uthman: *he laughed seriously that he fell from the chair he was sitting* The part that was really funny was that if a speeding car approaches the bridge, it will just go straight in the lagoon abi.

I made a face, I just remembered that I saw the bridge in my dream and not in reality. But I dare not tell the guys again because they yab me say I dey lie again, na so I keep quite and frown as they kept making jest of me.

I was watching a movie with my area boss one day in a football betting center when one guy name Sir paw-paw dropped a bomb shell.

The movie is titled Jack the giant slayer and they had one tree that served as a bridge.

Gabby: There are different types of bridge ooo. I saw one pix online that the bridge has a traffic light.

Sanjay: Na so me too saw one pix online wey the bridge go open when big boats wan pass beneath it.

Sir paw-paw: Mtchew shey day bridge wey dey open, me don see am before, on my way to badagry, the bridge use traffic light stop all the cars and opened for the boat to pass.

After the bombshell, all the people numbering up to 27 shouted haa, sir paw-paw, even saha wey dey sleep gan opened his eyes, when he saw that the victim was sir paw-paw. He just hissed and went back to sleep.

That topic was what we talked about till evening.

Lol

stuff46:
Lol

Tell us about your own lie fantasies now..... DON'T TELL ME I'M THE ONLY LIAR WE HAVE IN NAIRALAND.... Drop ur adventures. Another one loading

I and my friends are fond of going to the field to play ball every sundays. We were on our way to the field one sunday when Striker dropped it.


Me: Its every time I play ball that I get injure, I'm even tired self.

Uthman: You should caution your self, your rough playing is too much that why you get injured.

Hollu: Perhaps its probably because of his speed, you know say the guy no get control wen he dey attack.

Striker: You should caution yourself oo, so as not to be getting injured again. You know that if you get injured today, even if the injury heals, you will still be feeling the pain on that exact day years after.

Me: Could you be more precise, I don't understand you.

Striker: For example if you get injured on feb.11 2015, and the injury heals, you will start feeling pain in that exact place you got your injury on feb.11 2016, even 2017 and other years to follow.

The way we erupted into laughter was stunning, the three of us started laughing at the same time, even the other guys that usually accompany us to the field were not left out. We laughed really hard that Striker got frustrated and started threatening us with blow, we continued our laughter and even made jest of him, the guy pursued us and seeing that he was furiously charging at us, we all ran for our dear lives because the guy get am for blow....

mtcheeeewwww.

This thread promise to be one kinda hilarious....

Fatal, you be man wey sabi, keep 'em coming.

following jejely.....

We were in our house one day, I meant I, Uthman, Hollu and Striker. Uthman dey inside his room with one of his babes while Hollu too was inside with another babe. I and Striker were in the parlour watching film.


Koi, koi, koi there was a knock on the door.

"Who is that?" I shouted

"Agbeke" was the reply I got and I and Striker became immediately alerted.

"Open the door for me now" she barked from outside.

"I'm coming, I'm looking for the key"

Whereas the key was inside the keyhole, I wasn't looking for any key, I was just buying myself enough time so as to inform Uthman that his GF is outside.

Suddenly the door bolted open while I was still wondering on how best to approach Uthman and tell him whe situation on ground without alerting the girl he is fvcking.

Agbeke opened the door and entered the sitting room, I was surprised but I later remembered that we don't lock our door unless its time for slumber.

Mtchew she hissed when she saw me on the veranda simply because she didn't see me looking for any key. She proceeded to Uthman doorstep and was about to open the door when I caught her by the arm and stood infront of the door. I wasn't sure whether Uthman locked the door or not but I wasn't willing to take the chances.

"What's happening, why are you blocking me from entering my boo's room" she barked at me.

It there is one thing I hate about Agbeke, its her rudeness, the girl is so rude like seriousbabe. But she was damn pretty as ggrin and mirexxx.

I glanced at Striker on his sit maybe he can come to the rescue but the guy didn't even remove his gaze from the tv. I cursed his mother underneath and quickly got my brain into action.

"He isn't around, he went out" was all I could mutter

"But I called him now and he said he was at home"

"Are you telling me that I'm lieing, why will I lie to you that you boo isn't at home when he is"

"Okay I'm sorry, lemme call him" she said

This is another problem ooo, I was inwardly praying that Uthman had switched off his phone when it started ringing out loud. She stared at me and said "is that not his phone ringing in his room"

"What is your problem, I said he is not around, maybe he forgot to take his phone along with him" I shouted at her.

"Then get the hell out of the way, its my boyfriend room afterall and I wanna wait for him inside."

Now I had no more excuse to give because I can't stop her from entering her BF's room.

"He had looked the door and went out with the key"

"Then let me check for myself"

"Hello, Uthman how far, where you they, your girlfried they here, she just dey disturb us since nii jare, okay I go tell her"

"Uthman talk say make you come meet him for the Mr.Biggs eatery along that ikeja side" Striker said whilst still sitting on the veranda

"But I heard his phone rang from his room just now, how come he called you again"

"He told me he had been waiting for you for about an hour ago and it was when he was about to call you for your lateness that he figured out he didn't pick his phone along, you should go meet him now, don't leave him stranded now"

"Okay, I will, thanks" she said and exited the house.

I heaved a sigh of relieve and hit Striker on the head for his wiseness.

Uthman came out a minute later and walked the babe he was fvcking earlier out. He came back and gave I and Uthman a High-five and thanked us for helping him out. He told us he heard all our conversation, we laughed about it and we reminded him that Agbeke was on her way to the eatery. He just laughed, borrowed my phone and called her that he has left the place because of her lateness, see you tomorrow, he said and ended the call.

Sheenor:
This thread promise to be one kinda hilarious....

Fatal, you be man wey sabi, keep 'em coming.

following jejely.....

Tanx boss

leshluap:
mtcheeeewwww.

Tanx for hissing

Striker too badt

No10:
I don't tell lies. Am too lazy to. Can't stress my brains trying to remember what I said before,so I just stick with the truth. That's all.

this is just my greatest un doing,to lazy to recall past lies,i stoped.

Meaning?

leshluap:
mtcheeeewwww.

It dnt get you laffing doesnt mean you should show the world your foolishness.

I don't even know who gave you a mobile phone or how to use it. Lack of home training

stuff46:
Meaning?


It dnt get you laffing doesnt mean you should show the world your foolishness.

I don't even know who gave you a mobile phone or how to use it. Lack of home training

Dats why I chose not to tongue lash the guy, he is kinda frustrated. God will not let us have his kinda problem....

Your lies no too sweet sha. Make i buy time come challenge you make we drop lies.

My own lies ( tho real life)
Their was this my teacher, he is very fond of lieing. He knew the Abc of lieing, had a Phd in lieing, masters degree in cooking up lie at every point in time. ( mehn i don't know why his parent did'nt even call him linus)

He one's said he used hand to carry frying pan used by his neighbour to fry akara, and poured it on policemen. ( i tire for that hot lie o)

how person wan take carry frying pan when hot oil de, carry am with bear hands? Come come 2years later with no spot on his hand? Even witches and wizard sabi hell fire, talk more of hot oil.

Fatalveli:
Dats why I chose not to tongue lash the guy, he is kinda frustrated. God will not let us have his kinda problem....

i no like rubbish and i hate foolishness to the core.

How you see my lie

stuff46:


i no like rubbish and i hate foolishness to the core.

How you see my lie

its nothing compare to the ones I'm about to post

When I was still in secondary school, there was this man name Mr. Taiwo, he was my our English teacher.

There was a day in our compound, I heard shrieks from my neighbours room and I dashed over there to meet the wife of the man crying over his dead body.

"Madam, what happened to your husband" I asked immediately I saw the dead body sprawled on the floor."

"We were both asleep when I suddenly heard him shriek, I woke up immediately only to find him holding his neck and saying my grandmother is a witch, she want to kill me, he kept repeating the statement while I was doing all I can to save him but it is all to no avail till he gave up a ghost" she said amidst sobs

"Eeyha sorry madam, but I'm assuring you that I will resurrect you husband before dawn"

"What, you mean you can ressurect him" she said

"Yes I can and I will but you will have to excuse me"

The lady left the room and I begun the prayer, I prayed and prayed till dawn and I opened the door and got out of their room. I met the wife in the passage and I told her that I'm through. She asked about her husband and I told her that he's inside, I didn't even finish my statement before she dashed into their room.

Moments later I could here songs of praises erupting from my neighbours house and there was a knock on my door moments later. I opened the door to find the couple at my door step.

The wife jumped at me and hugged me tight, thanking me for resurrecting his husband, the man also did the same and I appreciated their gesture, we even drank wine together before they eventually took their leave.


I was dumbfounded when my teacher told us this story and I wanted to hold my laughter but damn, I couldn't hold it. Imagine a teacher telling this kinda lie..... My laughter earned me a serious beating that day, but I wasn't the only one that got canned. All of my classmates too got beaten.

[size=13pt]"Lieing"? [/size]

I was in a commercial bus one day, heading to ikeja from surulere when the speeding car suddenly slowed down and stopped moving, the driver tried all he can to kick the engine start but it is all to no avail, the passengers started mumbling and abusing the driver telling him that they aren't gonna trek to ikeja whilst on the highway.

I stood up and told the passengers to get in the bus including the driver and they started staring at me like I'm a psychopath. Well they eventually got into the car when I repeated my statement, its not like they had a choice after all.

When they all got into the bus, I went behind it and single-handedly started pushing it. The bus started from a slow pace till it start speeding, I didn't even got tired nor break a sweat, I made sure the bus ran faster that the way it was speeding before the engine broke down.

We eventually got to Ikeja 15mins later because of my fast pace. The passengers dashed to my side immediately they highlighted the car and they started praising me, some even carried me up and they started chanting. "Samson the most powerful"

They explained the ordeal to the curious ears that asked about the reason behind the praises I'm getting.

I can never forget that very day in my life. I was treated with utmost respect and it makes me wanna prove my powers on and on again.

hilarious. My think of my own first

mkpakanaodogwu:
this is just my greatest un doing,to lazy to recall past lies,i stoped.

It's because you dont plan your lies.

Bring money make I teach you else you'll end up miserable for not lying one simple lie that was necessary.

Oga fatal, you sabi lie o



Anyways, me no get tangible lie for now, na coming soon I dey now

I GUESS I'M NOT THE ONLY 'LIAR' ON NL.

Iceberylin, ggrin, diddydiva, mirexxx, naijaboy, stuff46, blackett, (Seriousbabe[no derailing]), firstEva, em' unibenstudent, rapmoney, mznelly..... Make una all camecome drop your lies ooo

I don't lie!!!




I only tell white lies!!!

Fatalveli:
I GUESS I'M NOT THE ONLY 'LIAR' ON NL.

Iceberylin, ggrin, diddydiva, mirexxx, naijaboy, stuff46, blackett, (Seriousbabe[no derailing]), firstEva, em' unibenstudent, rapmoney, mznelly..... Make una all camecome drop your lies ooo

...........

Lies dh sweet nehnnnn.....

Especially when e assist you to Nyash babe

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Blackett:
I'm in love with seriousbabe. I want her to be my wife and I want my kids to look like her. . . She's the apple of my eye. I don't normally fall in love with ladies that easily, but with her, I've been floored and trampled upon. I can't live without her. . .

Seriousbabe, I'm officially announcing to you that you've gotten what you're looking for. We all knew you are the owner of Misswanted account where you professed your affection for blackett. The guy just dey do Igara, but now he has also made his intentions known to you. I wish you guys a conjugal bliss. Abi romancelander, what do you think