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Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 7:57pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
baralatie: I was joking when I called you Mr Freud. Where did your interest in psychology, abuse and domestic violence stem from, if I may ask? |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 8:01pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:You are saying there's a chance, he has not been abused. I don't need to know 100%, the one I know based on what he is exhibiting is enough, this is not normal behavior for a 4 years old, he's already exposed to so much sexual activities. It's really sad his people know no better. 1 Like |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Dheartless: 8:01pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
sweetcocoa: when I was below 5 years, I didn't know how to say it. when I was 9-11, I thought it would have been embarrassing on my own part and I was ashamed to tell it to my parents.....because of this "as long as any of their child was around their vicinity my parents never really talked about sex and none of their children dare show any sexual knowledge else you will be tagged a spoilt child" |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 8:02pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
sweetcocoa: This is why the OP needs to talk to his mother ASAP. And then they need professional help. I hope they can get some. I really do because this is a very sensitive issue that may affect the boy for the rest of his life if not handled properly. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 8:09pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
Dheartless:Okay. This is why parents should educate their kids and be close to them. If you had felt safe you would have been able to tell your folks, there wouldn't be any need feel ashamed because it wasn't your fault. 1 Like |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 8:10pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
Where's the OP? Has the mom been alerted of what could be happening? Please tell her to be very gentle with that child. This is not the time to be harsh. I have a big fear that the older brother may be the perp. (Reason? The boy's doing it to others in the family but not the brother.) If it's the brother, again, it would be a continuing cycle of abuse. Someone must have abused the older brother too. If it's not the older brother, it's probably a female pedophile since he's only acting out on females. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 8:11pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
Dheartless: I'm so sorry for what you went through. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by baralatie(m): 8:16pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:it was in the university.I was looking for books on marriage,sex and women. I first stumbled on prostitution,then on child education later child abuse. then a book on marriage,later a book on women abuse then about on and on! it can a guys perception about women,sex and family responsibility. it is a great read. I had to face my books though!!! 1 Like |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 8:19pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
baralatie: How did it change or influence your perception? |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Dheartless: 8:25pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
ileobatojo:in as much as I hate overwhelming emotions, I really do feel some sense of peace but a little ashamed over your sympathy rendered. thanks a bunch am really glad I could get well. that boy needs help it was such a sad prison/feeling, one has to fight with his thoughts every second |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 8:28pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
ileobatojo:I suspect he's abuser is female too, I think his brother is been there for about 3 weeks or so, what this kid is exhibiting is not a damage that was done in 3 weeks. 1 Like |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by baralatie(m): 8:39pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
carefreewannabe:it was a book"why women kill" a clear fore runner to research on domestic violence.it analyze everything about what made women kill their husbands and then came the ' damning' research on their husbands,their childhood history. I changed from that moment onwards.I would rather be supportive than push a woman to the edge.develop a woman than try to be a superman. coz I have sistas and years later all of them doing well because they are not afraid but are confident they have a support no matter what! 1 Like |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 8:41pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
baralatie: I am glad your read those books. 2 Likes |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 8:50pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
Dheartless: (((Hugs))) Thank you for fighting through and not continuing the cycle. 2 Likes |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Dheartless: 8:50pm On Feb 22, 2015 |
sweetcocoa:true to this. I and my siblings were so disconnected with my parents when comes to sexual issues. 1 Like |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 7:38am On Feb 23, 2015 |
ileobatojo: You are definitely right.. However sometimes some very weird things happen that we cannot justify.. How do you also justify the fact that a four year old sees no remorse in all this! Kids are known to put on a sorry and apologetic face when caught doing wrong. Most will apologise when asked to, even if they don't mean it. This little failure vehemently refused to say he is sorry.. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 8:12am On Feb 23, 2015 |
[b]You see in addition to wanting to "DO" his mum and sister this little fella has got a strong character. From what I noticed he is NEVER satisfied with his share of food. I find it a little disturbing that he steals even from the pot. A neighbour gave the mum some stuffs to keep in her fridge and this guy dealt with it. I don’t need to mention that he is the most stingy kid I know.. After this "DO" encounter I became acquainted with the family and would stop from time to check how he was doing. First I noticed he would never share his things with me. He equally would not share biscuits given to him by me.. When I take with force he will cry till thou kingdom come.. I visited them once when he was eating with the sister… You needed to see his pace of eating..Lol All that in a bit to eat more than the sister.. That is common amongst kid. However the little shock was that when he felt like passing out urine, he did right where they were eating.. Why? Because leaving to go outside to pass urine would let the sister eat more.. During the Christmas period I passed around to give them some toys and Christmas dresses. When I got there the door was closed but there was serious crying inside. I peeped from the window and noticed the six month old was on the ground crying. Apparently he had fallen from the chair.. Our fella was sitting on that same chair. Imagine his younger brother crying and falling to the ground with no show of concern from this guy.. He was there manipulating the mother’s phone.[/b] |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 8:23am On Feb 23, 2015 |
sweetcocoa: I am not an expert on child abuse, but I think you can't rule every situation in life based on book theories! Life is so diverse and very funny things happen at times for the weirdest of reasons! As much as it is possible that this child could have have been exposed to sexual abuse, judging by his other comportment I personally do rule out sexual abuse as a 100% likely to be the the cause behind his sexual fantasies.. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 8:33am On Feb 23, 2015 |
grandlexuz:What do you think the problem is? |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 8:38am On Feb 23, 2015 |
grandlexuz:How old is this kid again? This child is the victim here please, with so much tying of hands and beating from his mum/strangers always, what do you expect? 1 Like |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 8:42am On Feb 23, 2015 |
grandlexuz: And your judgement is based on no investigations whatsoever. Now imagine this boy is really being abused and this is your judgement. Hasn't the molester hit the jackpot here? A perfect victim. No one will ever believe that this boy is not just being his usual devilish self. Freedom to molest the child at will. How do you know the child is not behaving this way because he is being molested? You do know it can be traumatic, right? And that trauma can manifest in anger, behavioral problems and what not. Assume the child is really the spawn of satan like you're saying he is. Does it mean a naughty child cannot get molested? This 4 yr old child is not a failure. He's just 4. It's the parent and other adults around him that are failures right now. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 8:45am On Feb 23, 2015 |
sweetcocoa: Yeah very inhumane sweetcocoa. You see in my area we are known to be worse than beasts. No one here has affection for children the way people in your area do..We can even kill our kids for stealing a cube of sugar..Lol |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 8:56am On Feb 23, 2015 |
grandlexuz:You may not see it for what it is and I won't totally blame you for it, it's what the system gave you. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 9:12am On Feb 23, 2015 |
sweetcocoa: No one is talking about her sister as the victim too! I do not know where you live, but this is Africa and beatings to most parents is the first line of discipline or punishment. Some parents would cut off a child's finger for stealing a slice of meat! However like I already mentioned, when I moved to this neighborhood I despised this lady because I felt she was over beating on this kid. I barely answered her greetings. However hearing her story did allow me share some of her plight while letting her realise hitting on the child at every offense was never the best..Mind you I was the little guys messiah for tying his hands that night..If that punishment was too much for him wanting to molest his sister so be it! Imagine you were living in this neighborhood and returning from work one day you found your daughter playing with this little guy..The little fella right ontop of your daughter.. Who would you say is the victim. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 9:22am On Feb 23, 2015 |
sweetcocoa: Oh no far from it sweetcocoa. I was only being a sarcastic there! I am a loving and dedicated father no matter the environment I find myself. Agreeing to tie the little fellas hand was the only way of sparing him from getting 100 lashes from the mum. However you must understand that life in rural Africa is different from life in the US, UK, Victoria Island etc. Counselling, Psychologist etc are not part of the system here... In most Government Secondary Schools in Cameroon there is a counselor who gets paid for nothing. They barely make it to work because no one carries their problems to them! To 90% of African families you don't expect them to give their 4 year old a piece of chocolate after trying to insert a plastic container into their mother's V... |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 9:56am On Feb 23, 2015 |
ileobatojo: Ever since this incident I have been spending sometime with this family...My biggest guess is that he might have seen the mum 'DOING" and definitely wanting to experiment too! |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 10:10am On Feb 23, 2015 |
grandlexuz:I get the sarcasm but unfortunately, it wasn't humorous(not to me atleast) I do understand that life in rural areas is not all that, I do expect however, that as someone who knows better than the kid's parent, you should have done something to help educate her, instead, you applied the same method you claim to know isn't the best. The thing is that, you don't believe that kid isn't acting on his own volition so you won't see the sense in giving him chocolate, drawing him close to earn his trust and have him confide in you. |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 10:14am On Feb 23, 2015 |
grandlexuz:let's agree this is the reason for his action, how then is the boy's behavior a fault of his? Is his mother not supposed to be the one receiving lashes from a cane? Is she not the one who has failed as a parent to protect her child from such exposure? |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by sweetcocoa(f): 10:22am On Feb 23, 2015 |
grandlexuz:For the life of me, please understand that it's not in the least bit normal for a 4 years old to behave that way, you can't hold him responsible for this, he is 4, only 4. Asking who i'll term a victim, if I saw such, just shows you clearly haven't been understanding what ileobatojo and I have been saying. 1 Like |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 12:12pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
sweetcocoa: First I must begin by inquiring if you got any kids of your own? I must also ask if you have lived in Nigeria or ever lived in Nigeria? Are you saying a four year child is never responsible for whatever he does? Are you saying a 4 year old child deserves no punishment for doing what he did and eventually showing no remorse.. Mind you tying of his hands only had to be done when he virtually refused to say he was sorry and will never do it again! As much as I accept with you that parents should be responsible and try to protect their kids, I ask again if you have ever lived in rural Africa. Some women leave their homes at 5am to go to their farms or businesses. They return late in the evening. They do these because they must put food on the table, their kids need to have school fees paid. In the course of the day most of these kids move around in groups. Each teaching the other what they have learned or seen in the movies! To these parents their only tool of discipline is the cane. Why? Because it will prevent the child from doing it again! |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by grandlexuz(m): 12:18pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
sweetcocoa: For the life of me sweetcocoa it is not normal for a four year old child to do what he did and show no remorse! That is why by the end of the day he deserved some punishment of some sort to let him know what he did was bad.. This incident happened a few months ago and after those threats I have noticed some positive change in his attitude. He now knows climbing ontop of his sister would cost his dingdong..Period! P.s.. Very funny how angry the mum got at me that night for not disciplining the guy enough! |
Re: Four Year Old Boy Tries To Molest Sister And Mum! by Nobody: 12:25pm On Feb 23, 2015 |
Little male goats, chickens, puppies e.t.c. climb their mothers, sisters all the time and we go 'ahh, how cute'. |
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