Chillisauce:
After beating her black and blue, with all the pains and swollen parts you still fvcked her

What of the times prior to this incident when she was the one actually doing the BEATING and still fvcking him. Pls stop reasoning like a demented chimpanzee!
Animals everywhere, that's what some ladies like OP ex have turned into.
OP was unfortunate to find himself with a psychotic patient parading herself as a normal human being and God saved him from her and you are here ranting trash.

mcdokwe:
I read a lot about how men who hit their partners are nothing but beasts, I nearly joined the bandwagon of accusers because I couldn't fathom how uncontrollable one's temper could be as to turn one's partner to a punching bag.

Don't get me wrong, I deeply regret I ever hit her, unfortunately that is one reason that apparently hold water as a reason for leaving even though she never gets to tell the whole story.

She had been a very good girl, and even till date, the only girl I have lost myself in love to. Yes, I have been a broke ass nigga and thankfully she could be a low maintenance lady.

She once told me how some of her stupid friends asked if I have hit her before obviously looking for shortfalls to convince her she shouldn't be dating me and how she proudly told them I hadn't for once.

In fairness to the truth, I learnt a lot from her and having her taught me how to treat my sister who was her age better.
At a point in her life, she had no genuine friend and would always moan to me how bad some friend or the other treated her and how she wasn't interested in their friendship anymore and I had to constantly remind her that people are different and so with their motives, I always encouraged her to try to understand such motives before writing them off.
I literally became her only friend and unfortunately shoved some people who could have been some sort of relief aside so much that we had just each other
Days became weeks and months and she conceived for me and a lot started changing about her. Maybe in her bid to feel acceptable, she got entangled with people she wrote completely off before, this wasn't a so much of a challenge because atleast she could whine less about them to me, her dress sense changed and she turned deaf ears to my appeal for explanation, I had to adapt to some of those challenges but unfortunately those friends became more valuable to her than myself even though we had a child coming and lived together, she shared less of her worries with me but would tell them even the minutest detail of our relationship which were frequently misrepresented maybe in a bid to gain sympathy which she eventually got. They explained my actions and inactions better than I could and she could go for days without talking to me so long as the meal was provides and the babies need met, she opted for a break anytime I told her of her upsetting attitude and the need to work on it, but would never tell me of her own misgivings towards me even when I plead so I could work on myself too, but would rather discuss unthinkable issues with her friends.

Fast forward to that particular day, a lady who I encouraged her to make friends with because of her distress and the feeling we could be of help to sent a text to her sim which happened to be on my phone saying she needs to know when I left the house so she could come over and I was wth! This is some one I brought in, someone whose coming means she is to fend from my toil, and I asked what it could be that I did that should warrant such. I sent her a text telling her never to bother coming anymore as I wasn't leaving the house that day anymore. She called her back and asked her only God knows what and my lady went up in frenzy insulting me not minding that a third party was there.
Minutes later the other girl stopped by to apologise stating that I misunderstood her text but my girlfriend continued the insult asking why she should bother to explain or apologise. After a while every other person left and she became apologetically cosy, well I shrugged her off knowing her being apologetic doesn't stop her from insulting me the next minute if she felt like, and true to my prediction, even while she was still being sorry, her words turned from being apologetic to outright insult, calling me unprintable names and how I am a hopeless orphan (I lost my dad the previous year and my mum is still very much alive and she is so lettered and knows what an orphan means) well I said something too of her family because I was hurt but could never match her with words and I made to leave the house in that fit of anger. But she locked the door and wouldn't let me. She turned apologetic again and then insulting, in that state all I could do was pity her because I couldn't imagine how someone could be so unstable, I was visibly frustrated and made to leave the house which she wouldn't have either and I had to forcefully remove her from the way. She came back hard on my, making for anything. That could be converted into a weapon, thankfully I was stronger and made her efforts futile. I pinned her to the ground with the intention to make her realise I am stronger than our love sessions where I played weak to let her have an upper hand so she could give up already, but the moment I released her a bit, she reached for my phone and smashed it on the floor repeatedly, I regrettably gave her some blows and because I didn't want it to continue, opened the door so a neighbour could come in a stop the fight. I later stormed out with the child and headed for a family who had rendered enough care to us and she later found her way there, I expected her to behave more in their presence but that was to wishful of me and unfortunately the ladies couldn't stop me as I gave her even deadlier blows but mehn, she never really got enough.

She was later forced into one of the rooms in the apartment and locked up with the baby.
After a while I walked to that point seeing how pitiful she looked asked her with tears in my eyes why she was acting the way she does to which she replied with a tone that could melt the devil's heart that she didn't know and was sorry. We packed up and went back home to the astonishment of all who saw us fight. Needless to say we made love that night after which she confessed she never knew I could hit her even after I was with her at the delivery room and declared no woman should be beaten by her man. She also owned up and apologised for pushing me to that point.

She also told me how a particular friend of hers who came in after the fight had told her not to have sex with me that night and all that.

The relationship lasted for a little longer without fights and she left while I was away for reasons still not clear to me, and looking back I regret that I ever let her pushing me to the point of hitting her but I still believe firmly that she deserved it.

That girl needs to be prayed for. Deliverance.

DICKtator:


Dude you are so a biatcch!!

Man the fuxxx up!!!
Went through some of your thread where you have been on this girl's case like a pooooosssie!!

Man the fuxxx up

When they discover that you can't do without them,then they start to withdraw!
Laws of attraction ishh!!
Be a man,move on.
Ignore her for donkey/camel years!!

Chase God and money!!!!

Let her read about you in the news!!
Let her stooopid friends talk bout how rich and good looking you are!!!

She would come back begging!!
Her types fall under the category of those that don't really know what they want so it is for you to control like a military man
Not some softness chilling level!!!!!!
You got me so fuxxxing annoyed ,making me carry the matter for my head!!!
WTF is wrong with you?

Phucccck her!!
Phuccck Ijeoma!!!
You fuxxxing deserve better!!
Don't text her!
Don't call her!!!!
If your child grows up and ask what happened
Show her your NL post which should explain everything!!!!

Grow some balls
Isn't it pooosie that bleeds?

Or you got sanitary pad on?

Man the fuxxx up please!!!!

u see this ^^^^ that's how a real guy's reasoning should be,....we all have somethings in common, like BEING ALLERGIC TO BULLSHII ,HATE stupid shii, SEEING THINGS THE WAY THEY REALLY ARE WITHOUT SENTIMENTS and TREATING F UPS WHEN ITS DUE. some smart ladies will learn but most of the FISH BRAINS and some that have lost their at the mercy if saloons won't. hahahhahahah


lol any reasonable lady will realize that she should never try such thing on a man after reading all these but the stuupid ,unreasonable, dumb ones will still do a similar thing to their partner tomorrow... THANK GOD THAT SOME GUYS STILL KNOWS THEMSELVES DESPITE HOW CRAZY LOV CAN MAKE THEM...

Agrika:
Not ur fault dearie, ...women should learn hw to be ladies...u don't push a man to the wall and expect him not to "react"...even though na saint sef.

BUT IF ITS UR FELLOW MAN PROBABLY ONE BIGGER THAN U,, NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES U MIGHT JUST SHUT ND PERM..............BEATING CHILDREN IS NOT EVEN ACCEPTABLE TALK MORE OF A WOMAN.....WHERESTHE SENSE IN HITTING A FULL GROWN ADULT?? SO THAT "WHAT"WILL HAPPEN?

I feel she harboured deep resentment towards you which kept on piling up and she didn't know how to express it, so instead she chose to fight, insult and call you names.

She might have been influenced by her friends' negative advice or maybe she just wasn't happy with her life and with you.

I didn't see you mention that you were married or engaged, being pregnant and having a kid under normal circumstances can be trying to a woman, hormones and all that, now talk more about a woman who has underlying issues in her relationship.

From where you explained her as a low maintenance chick, I am forced to deduce that you might have also taken her for granted. Women who expect little materially expect much more emotionally.

You said you let her take control during sex, what if she wanted more? What if she didn't want to be in control all the time?

I think she couldn't express herself to you and you couldn't understand what was going on with her, but don't think for a second that she deserved the beating she got.

Could you put your hand to your own mother if she had done the same thing? No, you wouldn't have.

Why? Respect!

You might not know it but you took your girl for granted, lost respect in her and she might have sensed this and it probably added to her annoyance and dissatisfaction with you.

Finally, if you indeed believe she deserved the beating you gave her and that you don't know the reasons she left, then its for the best she did because its better to be alone than unhappy with the person one is with.

twerkjack:
BUT IF ITS UR FELLOW MAN PROBABLY ONE BIGGER THAN U,, NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES U MIGHT JUST SHUT ND PERM..............BEATING CHILDREN IS NOT EVEN ACCEPTABLE TALK MORE OF A WOMAN.....WHERESTHE SENSE IN HITTING A FULL GROWN ADULT?? SO THAT "WHAT"WILL HAPPEN?

Shut your hole! If it is her fellow woman that she shut the door, smashed her phone, I bet the girl will beat her to a pulp! Can she verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abuse a woman bigger and stronger than her the way she has been abusing the husband? That is the correct question! Her fellow woman will not condone half of what the husband have condoned without beating her to a pulp. Pls stop reasoning from your anus!

repogirl:
I feel she harboured deep resentment towards you which kept on piling up and she didn't know how to express it, so instead she chose to fight, insult and call you names.

She might have been influenced by her friends' negative advice or maybe she just wasn't happy with her life and with you.

I didn't see you mention that you were married or engaged, being pregnant and having a kid under normal circumstances can be trying to a woman, hormones and all that, now talk more about a woman who has underlying issues in her relationship.

From where you explained her as a low maintenance chick, I am forced to deduce that you might have also taken her for granted. Women who expect little materially expect much more emotionally.

You said you let her take control during sex, what if she wanted more? What if she didn't want to be in control all the time?

I think she couldn't express herself to you and you couldn't understand what was going on with her, but don't think for a second that she deserved the beating she got.

Could you put your hand to your own mother if she had done the same thing? No, you wouldn't have.

Why? Respect!

You might not know it but you took your girl for granted, lost respect in her and she might have sensed this and it probably added to her annoyance and dissatisfaction with you.

Finally, if you indeed believe she deserved the beating you gave her and that you don't know the reasons she left, then its for the best she did because its better to be alone than unhappy with the person one is with.

I said I wasn't going to comment on this again but your post is reasonable and as such elicits a response.

Maybe I indeed erred in my choice of diction.

But people fail to get the underlisted from my post

The lady meant much to me

I never intended to hit her

She provoked me most times without intending or knowing it maybe taking my resilience for granted too

Her sharing issues concerning us with strangers wasn't helping the relationship

The post wasn't about justifying my actions until others made it so

It was about causes and reactions

We all are expected to learn from this,
Just like I tried doing with her, I would always storm out from my parents, siblings, friends and just anyone just to avoid using exchanging heated words and possibly blows not because I am scared of them, but because I don't want to regret my actions later.

I still would chose her above many others like I've done before, but really wish she gets helped to understand some of these things because I believe it would also help in her day to day relationship with others outside me.

mcdokwe , good morning.

I have come to this one a little late, so I won't read the whole thread before commenting - indeed, I don't really need to.

I don't subscribe to the mantra that "a man must never lay his hands on a woman". For one, it's not hollistic or complete; there should be zero tolerance for any kind of abuse from men or women.

Secondly, there may well be occassions where laying hands on a is actually neccessitated. For example where a life is endangered.

I am, however, of the school of thought that believes a man should always rise above any emotional hysterics from the women in his life - and certainly not respond in kind. And where at all possible, refuse such women entry into his space.

You give something away as a man when you allow yourself to respond emotionally to a womans provocation. Always try and rise above it. I am heartened by the fact that you realise you could have handled the situation differently - and better. Take the lesson - become a better man.


Best
TV

mcdokwe:
I read a lot about how men who hit their partners are nothing but beasts, I nearly joined the bandwagon of accusers because I couldn't fathom how uncontrollable one's temper could be as to turn one's partner to a punching bag.

Don't get me wrong, I deeply regret I ever hit her, unfortunately that is one reason that apparently hold water as a reason for leaving even though she never gets to tell the whole story.

LAGATA:
@op, are we neighbours? had the same bitter experience last night. We have bn married for Seven years and i have never imagined i cld ever raise my hands on my woman. No matter to what extent she provokes me, i still tru find a peaceful way of resolving issues. Mine is even a bit challenging coz of cultural differences (am yoruba and shes hausa). The past seven years has bn so challenging. we have lost 2 innocent kids so u can imagine the frustration and challenges. What is it abt our women being 'misled' by their unmarried and divorced friends?

You do well to seek peace and resolve issues peacably...

LAGATA:
The height of provocation was ystday. Imagine my woman exchanging luv msgs wt an unknown man. Confronted her wt all the proofs bt she was still denying to the extent of creating a fight. Had to land her a slap on her face. So sad i have never done such. Realising i shldnt have done that and controlled myself, spent the whole night pleading wt her to forgive me for my actions and not even wt wat was on ground. Even wt the sleeping pills i swallowed, i jst cldnt slp. Rather i was feeling so bad and full of regets for raising my hand on her.... To all the ladies out there (single and married), pls forgive us. Appologies too for the long gist

...but this I don't get

You confronted you wife with incontrovertible proof of her cheating?
She vehemently denied to the point of causing a fight?
You slapped her during the scuffle?
You spent all night pleading with her - presumably to forgive the slap?
You took sleeping pills ontop !

Guy, you are treading a dangerous path. Slapping her was probably not the wisest thing to do, but if you have lived peacably together for 7 years and have evidence of her cheating, the slap is the least of your problems.

Sounds like you've been killing yourself to keep the peace for a while. Possibly what makes her think she can behave as she chooses.

Your play after the slap - which even if regrettable was not the worst thing you could have done, or even the crux of the matter here - only made things worse


TV

misterh:
Self control, you say? When the dude held her down to prevent her from assaulting him, she grabbed his phone and smashed it. So he should have just laughed it off, right? The dude is human and there's a limit to what a human can take before he snaps. When he also went out of the house, the same lady came after him, and in full glare of everyone started insulting him. What is it about the phrase 'women will always be women' , by the way? If it means that they'll always insult their men, then they should know that men also have an ego to protect. They can't eat their cake and have it. Respect is a two-way street.

Well said

sweetcocoa:
I also hope you won't hit him first, or even insult him so much that he'll start to wonder, especially if he can't match you words for words, hope you also won't lock the door when he attempts to leave.

Don't mind her. Sometimes the way some ladies behave makes me think if they ever deserve a "one in a million man". The moment a lady pushes a man to the wall, she deserves what she'll get, besides they are using being the weaker sex as an excuse to infringe abuse in r/ships and marriages.

sweetcocoa:
This isn't even about annoying him, the babe needs to grow up, their problems is mostly caused by the fact that she lets her so called friends interfere in their affairs.

She can't keep messing up and expect the young man to walk on egg shells, he did wrong by hitting her alright but then, there's only so much he can take.

Sweetcocoa, I love ur writeups, thumbs up $ don't mind those girls that are here ranting the guy should never have lifted his hand to hit her when it was obvious she called for it.

sweetcocoa:
What is it with some people saying, OP took her for granted because she bore his child, lived with him outside wedlock and all? Please is the child not also hers? Did she not partake in the $ex they had? Did it all happen as a favor to the OP?

How can you people be making it sound like the OP maltreated an adult who chose to live with a man she isn't married to? Was she held against her will? Does she not have a brain? Can't she decide for herself?

Please you people should quit making it sound like women have to wait to have everything handed down to them, haba!

Walahi, if to say I neva marry, I for marry you quick quick, and if to say my wife no be decent loving woman, I for marry you as second wife with first class privilege.... Nne you will marry a decent man and you go born pikin(s) wey get sense like you.

Leave all those tufulufus and efulefus wey no gree growup ....

OP, remember that is easy to lose your temper with someone you are physically more powerful than.

If your girlfriend happened to be the world karate champion , I guarantee you would not have lost your self control even if she smashed your phone and computer to bits.

Remember, with power comes responsibility.

You have not yet learnt to behave responsibly and to take responsibility for your actions.

What a Coward!

GenBuhari:
OP, remember that is easy to lose your temper with someone you are physically more powerful than.

You made no sense. Proof: his girlfriend lost her temper with him. Does this imply she's more powerful than he is? Even if she was the world karate champion and she angered him enough, he could resort to the use of a deadly weapon; and deathly force. Or world karate champion can deflect bullet? Maybe the moniker you used is affecting your ability to reason.

GentleToks:


Thank you sir for that explanation. Every bit of your words was clearly understood but I still maintain my stand that bride price are only celebrated among the poor.

The first paragraph of your post is quite hilarious my friend, really!! who talks about bride price this day? I can't just imagine myself sitting among friends who ll think the next thing to waste our time on is bride price topic when our age group are somewhere making their millions and billions. Bride price could only be an interesting topic among the illiterates not d educated ones. You know what, the reason why u believed in all these norms is because you re an African man. Supposing you re born in western world, you ll see things from different perspective.


My brother, there are fathers who will never take bride price cos they see it from d perspective of their daughters being sold.

by the Grace of God i don't think am an illitrate even though i hail from africa,,,

bride price as a topic needs to be well discussed, whenever it calls for it,,,and not that we are making it the most useful topic on nairaland. Nooooo

One problem we have nowadays is that we tend to be swifting away from the original culture to embrace the western culture,,that is why you c some girls, naked on the street becos they felt,tying wrapper is now an outdated mode of dressing

i didn't say western culture is bad in anyway,but we shuld always av at the back of our minds that we r not from the western world,we r from africa.

We av our culture,the western world has theirs,,,since ancient time till now,bride price is what gives u confidence that this woman is mine,,,,

as a matter of fact where i came from,,if u don't pay ur woman's bride price,she is free to sleep with any other man she wants,,,becos she is not married yet even if she has children for you,,,
on the other hands, if she tries such when her bride price has been paid,,the curse is that her children starts dying one after the other till she comes out to confess,,,,we don't joke with B.P where i came from.

My elder brother married a kogi lady,,now,,the father of the girl at his age was still in a rented house,,,now my brother went into that family,built a house for his father-in-law to be n all dat..

On the day of traditional wedding,the man refused to take bride price from my brother,,due to reasons best known to him,,perhaps, he never dreamt of bin a landlord in his life time,but my brother made the dream come thru for him....

So some fathers may not take bride price from u,if u av won their heart....dat doesn't mean they dash daughters for free or don't know the implication of it....

I think u must av done somethng, which took the place of the bride price.HAVING HIS APPROVAL TO LIVE WITH HIS DAUGHTER IS THE KOKO

EggovinMma:



Who is lynpetra?

you haven't told me the person behind this handle. I sent you a PM but u ignored it. Oh well... Have a nice day.

2sExy1:
you haven't told me the person behind this handle. I sent you a PM but u ignored it. Oh well... Have a nice day.

I didn't. Check again.

EggovinMma:




I didn't. Check again.

you didn't reply anything. Just checked.

2sExy1:
you didn't reply anything. Just checked.

My mail is having problems, just noticed.Will reply as soon as I resolve the issue.

EggovinMma:



My mail is having problems, just noticed.Will reply as soon as I resolve the issue.

ok. I guess you are using yahoo mail. Thats why.

2sExy1:
ok. I guess you are using yahoo mail. Thats why.

Nope . Gmail

yinkus4u2c:


Myopic u say? smh...i dont tink u knw wat dat means.
D lady had her faults, yes! but did d mister's actions solved d probs? Hell no! but rather complicated it. This is whr d issue of selfcontrol comes in,women will always be women.
Ladies r not meant to be trampled upon but be cared for.
at ds juncture...i quit

a very dumb post.lacks logic.

EggovinMma:


Nope . Gmail

that's weird. Can you log into your account? You can send an email to doyen2fine. Its a gmail.

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2sExy1:
you haven't told me the person behind this handle. I sent you a PM but u ignored it. Oh well... Have a nice day.

I believe she is lynpetra.

GenBuhari:
OP, remember that is easy to lose your temper with someone you are physically more powerful than.
If your girlfriend happened to be the world karate champion , I guarantee you would not have lost your self control even if she smashed your phone and computer to bits.
Remember, with power comes responsibility.
You have not yet learnt to behave responsibly and to take responsibility for your actions.

Lets for a second pretend that you are making sense. Can the woman in question verbally abuse, challenge and smash the phone of another woman that is stronger and bigger than her without being beaten to a pulp?
Can all the ladies here running their mouths here tolerate half of what the OP tolerated without beating the hell out of her? Hypocrisy is the worst type of self deception. The OP is a quintessential gentleman, I swear!
That woman owe him an apology big time. My bother God will give you a virtuous woman that will give you peace.

softysparky:

I believe she is lynpetra.

Na wa o. I think say u dey avoid me. Thanks for the heads up.

twerkjack:
BUT IF ITS UR FELLOW MAN PROBABLY ONE BIGGER THAN U,, NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES U MIGHT JUST SHUT ND PERM..............BEATING CHILDREN IS NOT EVEN ACCEPTABLE TALK MORE OF A WOMAN.....WHERESTHE SENSE IN HITTING A FULL GROWN ADULT?? SO THAT "WHAT"WILL HAPPEN?

Nobody said it's acceptable, but women should first and foremost ACT like ladies, u no say d man pass u for power, fit even pass u for height and every every but u go dey look for trouble up and down...later when he "stylishly" hit u, u go begin dey halla...and u know d irony of the whole thing, u need to see these women with thier bosses in office or with any male in any place of authority...so so Yes Sah! yes Sah!....erm by d way am not a "fellow man" am ur fellow lady

2sExy1:
Na wa o. I think say u dey avoid me. Thanks for the heads up.

Avoid kwa
You sure say na me, anyway how are you?

softysparky:

Avoid kwa
You sure say na me, anyway how are you?

I am fine. Na u cos I send u pm one time u sef ignore me. Na wa o. This thing Nairaland babes dey do e no good o. Eh