Hey all,
I need some sound advice here. I have been dating a guy seriously for about 4 months. We swore that we would be honest to each other. Over the past 4 months I have caught him in several lies (a few were kind of serious and others not so much). Well, last week he dropped another one. He admitted to me that he had lied about his age. When we met he told me that he was my age but now I found out that he is 4 years older than me.
He told me why he lied about his age- he was afraid that I would not give him a chance given his age and the current position in life he's in (in a way, I am much more ahead than him). Anyways, I am feeling this guy but I also feel like this lie was serious!

I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to continue seeing him while another part thinks that he has told too many lies and the lie about his age is just too much. What really pissed me off is that he knows that I had informed my friends and siblings about him and when they asked how old he was I told them he was my age. There were many opportunities for him to tell me the truth but he never did. I feel like he has made me look like a fool (especially since I informed my fam about his fake age) and that is what is really bothering me about the situation.
What should  I do? If you were me would you overlook this lie? When is a lie just too much?

Thx!

uhmn pretty dicey i beg can u divulge more information on the nature of the other lies make i weigh the thing for my scale before i talk proper

When a boyfriend lies about something as simple as age, it simply means that he does not respect you.

Misty,

If you stay your family/your friends as well as yourself will continue asking the same question, "So what else has he lied about?". If it took lying to attract your attention, well it's going to take lying to keep your attention as well. It's only been 4 months, I suggest you prepare your exit strategy now, before more time goes by and you start falling deeper and deeper into his web of deception. Good luck.

Hmmm

lies hmmm something as early as this that starts with lies will definitely contiune with more lies.

at least his age should have been one of the those things he should have at least told the simple truth.

my dear if i was you i will map out my exit door while i can still see the light. simply tell your family that you can't continue with him again,

cause of some problems in the relationship and if they really want to know the issue just be upfront with them

and tell them that he lies about everythingand it isn't one of those qualities you want in a relationship.

and oh tell the man it is over and you can't stand his lies anymore

Wow. Girl, avoid all liars!

Thanks to all for the replies. I knew what I had to do but was just seeking other opinions.
Anyways, I did what was in my best interest; I let him go. I'm feeling a bit low about it but I know it was the right decision rather than get stuck in the future.

@Mistygirl,
Why let d Guy go so fast?Its not fair at all.See Everybody has Two sides:d good & bad sides,rememba no one is perfect,I undastand how U feel but at least d guy admitted lieing,Try putting yourself in his shoes.So Y U don't Give him another chance,U can help him improve and gradually he will stop lieing,that is why both of U r there 4 each other;improving on each other's weakness and not condeming them.Ok Mistygirl,now U've sacked d guy do U know if d next guy U gonna meet is gonna have a bad side worse than lieing;maybe flirting,etc.Hey Just think about it.Finally, learn how to follow ur heart via God's Inspiration to take decisiöns n stop reiceiving anyhow advice from a bunch of strangers(although they can b helpful atimes).Use d wisdom of God 2 take decision and not that of ur fellow MORTALS!!!!!!!

Lies??

This is a grievious one
And what happened to self confidence?
Let him go jare

Dr.Tony:

@Mistygirl,
Why let d Guy go so fast?Its not fair at all.See Everybody has Two sides:d good & bad sides,rememba no one is perfect,I undastand how U feel but at least d guy admitted lieing,Try putting yourself in his shoes.So Y U don't Give him another chance,U can help him improve and gradually he will stop lieing,that is why both of U r there 4 each other;improving on each other's weakness and not condeming them.Ok Mistygirl,now U've sacked d guy do U know if d next guy U going to meet is going to have a bad side worse than lieing;maybe flirting,etc.Hey Just think about it.Finally, learn how to follow ur heart via God's Inspiration to take decisiöns n stop reiceiving anyhow advice from a bunch of strangers(although they can b helpful atimes).Use d wisdom of God 2 take decision and not that of ur fellow MORTALS!!!!!!!

I have already overlooked some of his other lies. He said he lied to me because he wasn't confident that I would want a man like him given his age and his current position in life. I feel like he tried to dupe and trick me into being with him (which he kind of did.) Don't get me wrong, I still like him, but I'm finding this lie just too much to deal with. I wish he was honest with me from the start. You say I should put myself in his shoes. I have tried and in a way I feel for him however why do I have to get hurt in the process. I agree with you in terms of turning to God for guidance, which I have been doing. Another thing; why do people always justify lying by saying that "at least the person finally told the truth." The issue is not when they admitted to the lie but WHY they had to do it in the first place.

misty girl

what were the other lies he told you apart from his age? this will help in deciding the gravity of his lies.

@ poster
You sound like the proud type, lol

I think the dude deserves another chance(s), since he's ur boyfriend.

It would av been a different case if he were asking u out.

The truth is, the lies will never stop. I was in the exact same situation. The guy lied to me about his marital status, his age and many, many, MANY other things. Some big and some small, but lies all the same. I let him go eight years ago and gave him another chance near the end of last year. I had to let him go again because he was still lying about small things and I knew he had not changed.

No one is perfect, so when you are dealing with someone else's flaws you must determine what you can deal with and what you cannot. I cannot deal with liars, but if you can, go for it. Howevere, I do think you did the right thing in letting him go. Of course it will be hard at first because you cared for him, but you were falling in love with a lie. There will be someone else who, though he may not be perfect, will not be so insecure that he must lie to win your affections.

God bless you.

mistygirl:

Thanks to all for the replies. I knew what I had to do but was just seeking other opinions.
Anyways, I did what was in my best interest; I let him go. I'm feeling a bit low about it but I know it was the right decision rather than get stuck in the future.

I support your decision to leave. A relationship built with lies, will remain based on them.

@ops.wat is de big deal about lying to reduce his age when u ladies have PhD in ddat field.

jeffery251:
@ops.wat is de big deal about lying to reduce his age when u ladies have PhD in ddat field.

Lol, guy this thread is 6 years old! Where you dig am?!

Gurgle:


Lol, guy this thread is 6 years old! Where you dig am?!

Are you on a school break?

jaybee3:


Are you on a school break?

Yes, and you? Oh wait I remember

So are you at work now

Gurgle:


Yes, and you?

No wonder

I'm a little too old for uni na... I finished ages ago

jaybee3:


No wonder

I'm a little too old for uni na... I finished ages ago

yeah I modified. are you at work

Gurgle:


yeah I modified. are you at work

Yes i'm at work and it actually feels strange as the floor is somewhat empty and most people are working from home due to the tube strike

jaybee3:


Yes i'm at work and it actually feels strange as the floor is somewhat empty and most people are working from home due to the tube strike

yeah I was passing through a station last night, it was strange to see it all locked up like that

so you don't take tube? or you took the bus today

Gurgle:


yeah I was passing through a station last night, it was strange to see it all locked up like that

so you don't take tube? or you took the bus today

I take the surface train to Canoon street then walk about a mile

jaybee3:


I take the surface train to Canoon street then walk about a mile

Ok. hope your journey home isn't too stressful

Gurgle:


Ok. hope your journey home isn't too stressful

Nah not really

So what you studying?

We looking for programmers and offering good pay package

jaybee3:


Nah not really

So what you studying?

We looking for programmers and offering good pay package

Biology

IT programmers? don't know anything about computers, except how to turn them on haha

Gurgle:


Biology

IT programmers? don't know anything about computers, except how to turn them on haha

Not necessary IT

Quantitative analyst

What you going to do with biology?

jaybee3:


Not necessary IT

Quantitative analyst

What you going to do with biology?

Im not sure, still thinking

Gurgle:


Im not sure, still thinking

Qualitative analyst
Research Scientist
Academics

now who the hell dug up this thing.....


why cant you let ancient threads just die na....