delishpot:
Now I see why marriages dont last in naija. When our young men think its unwise to first talk to an angry man and advice him against beating his wife. When our young men believe that a son should not try to protect his mom no mater what,
When our young men believe that their wives and moms deserve hot slaps and that her abusers should not be asked any question but rather be seen as head and left to do as he deems fit.

Tomorrow people will come here to post and ask why marriages break up.

Ehm women, I hope you see the kind of men waiting to marry you and your daughters in future o.
They will slap you and slap your sons for daring to ask them why they laid hands on you.

See me see ooo, it is terrible . This guy was VERY right to speak up right there and then. It is totally unacceptable no matter what!

When the father sees how much trouble it has caused, he may think twice next time.

idu1:
u r fulish boi...


U want him to beat his dad?

Yes because his dad is a monster just like you who won't do nothing nether. Now pisssoff ratface

Freest:
It happened this morning oh, was bathing and prepping for work when i heard my dad at the top of his voice, before i knew it i heard mumsy crying, he had slapped her. Am in the same house( Haven't been able to move out yet) and i couldn't just bear my mum crying so i went to my dad to tell him what he did was not right. He is almost 60 and so is his wife, at that age you slap your wife i was trying to use the voice of reason as i was angry but kept my calm (Who wouldn't be angry seeing his/her mum cry?) before i could finish explaining and appealing to him i received from his left hand of righteousness a resounding slap... it got me confused as i didn't know what i did to deserve such. I didn't say anything harsh nor abusive. Am angry but didn't wanna return that slap nor say words I'll regret. I told him I'm moving out and he just lost a son, he replied that i wont be missed. I wanna do something he'll never forget, before i leave, please i need advice as it dented my personality even amongst my younger siblings and neighbors. I really am confused on what to do before moving out. Am so pissed now
pls sincere advice. thanks

dis is sad dou,some men ar nt just normal. wel i advise u nt to do anyfin funny,just keep calm,work harder,save some money,park out of d huz.live ur life,cos puppy wil be thinkg dat he provides shelter and food etc for u.anyways hw wil u rate mumsy,good or bad woman, if good plz do take good care of her and for pupsy just do d needful,greet him,dnt keep malice wit him,but hv it at d back of ur mind dat u dnt hv a good father,good dad dnt beat dre wife.plz dnt park out of d huz yet,arrange ur slf first

[color=#000099][/color] All the slaps you are sharing in that house, there is goduooo there is sango

Freest:
It happened this morning oh, was bathing and prepping for work when i heard my dad at the top of his voice, before i knew it i heard mumsy crying, he had slapped her. Am in the same house( Haven't been able to move out yet) and i couldn't just bear my mum crying so i went to my dad to tell him what he did was not right. He is almost 60 and so is his wife, at that age you slap your wife i was trying to use the voice of reason as i was angry but kept my calm (Who wouldn't be angry seeing his/her mum cry?) before i could finish explaining and appealing to him i received from his left hand of righteousness a resounding slap... it got me confused as i didn't know what i did to deserve such. I didn't say anything harsh nor abusive. Am angry but didn't wanna return that slap nor say words I'll regret. I told him I'm moving out and he just lost a son, he replied that i wont be missed. I wanna do something he'll never forget, before i leave, please i need advice as it dented my personality even amongst my younger siblings and neighbors. I really am confused on what to do before moving out. Am so pissed now
pls sincere advice. thanks

thats the difference between making yourself loved and making yourself feared according to machiavelli.
he needs to fear you at this stage and not necessarily love you because you are a man.
he needs to recognise that there are dreadful consequences for slapping a man.
he needs a better reason to choose joy soap over power soap every morning when he wants to bathe. because even the power soap. na person make am
tell him in jayz voice ." sir, after this there shall be no more"
and you- what the deuce are you waiting for? burn out of the house. stand up like the cork you are and crow. you are nobody's birrtch!

Bluetooth2:


Yes because his dad is a monster just like you who won't do nothing nether. Now pisssoff ratface

ratface

When you mum and dad are having bet you are not invited now probably small yawa gas you wan dey show urself guy u be sit don ur ass for house....Marriage is for better for worse

Bluetooth2:


Yes because his dad is a monster just like you who won't do nothing nether. Now pisssoff ratface

Ha ha. I can imagine ratface on a human. I cant shout o.
But our culture wont allow him beat the man nau! Anyhoe, I dont recomebd he beat his father. He should have yelled and warned him never to try that shiiiii with him again if not he will tgrow him outa the house.

udz:
U are in ur late 20's, then ur Dad FUCKD UP. He doesnt have respect for U yet. try and earn ur respect not by fighting him. Give him a good dose of silent treatment, move out frm his cmfort zone. Bet me, in just 2 months, he will start complaining to every dick and harry to call U and ask why? He wouldnt want to come out open and beg U. Guy am talking from experience.

Guy no play this kind play with my papa o, na only you go use leg waka come house.

If you come the day em wake up from wrong side of em bed, em fit tell you say space no em house again make you go back.

Just kidding sha.

But the op is stupid to think moving out will solve the issue,there are som fada who don't give a phuck about you moving out. When you are tired living with friends or under bridge you find who to help you beg and return as prodigal son.

SAMBARRY:
no the pages in that part of their own Bible is torn or missing. The only pages in their own Bible is wives honour your husbands abi how una dey quote am sef.

bro nah real truth, and dat part children obey your parent in the lord for this is right.

Freest:

i didn't get him angry as he was angry before i even got there. I only went to appeal to him. by the way am more angrier and wanna move out today. But need to teach him a moral lesson before leaving hence d need for this advice

Bros, Its very wrong for you to even confront your dad at the first place without knowing the cause of the slap... and mind you, you dont take side before conclusion! Was that the first time your dad would slap your mum?

dahmie2013:
U're just angry dats y u're asking 4 such. I'll only ask u 2 ask God 2 help u manage d situation, instead of seeking revenge. As 4 ur mum, its so painful such a thing had 2 happen 2 her, console her, but if d thing becomes a repeated actn, I'll advise u find a place 4 her 2 stay so he doesn't kill her. My mum has been in abj 4 over 10yrs nw, cos of work&I thank God 4 dat cos, she might have died 4rm battery. Even now dat she's planning her retirement, we her children are planning 2 get a place 4 her in Akure so our fada doesn't kill her 4 us. I can relate perfectly with ur situatn, just trust God, even myself I'm just begging God 2 get enof money 2 get an apartment&live on my own with my siblings till dey each get married. Staying with him is a nightmare. Urs doesn't sound like its not a constant thing like mine, nywys don't take ny actn nw cos u're angry, ask God 4 peace cos ny actn u take, u might regret cos u did it in anger.

It is well!

It's an interesting topic and I wanted to read your opinion, but I can't read what you wrote. It's not English .

loomer:



Wat if a lady rants in front of ur dad, and rains abuses on him, will he be wrong to slap such lady at a point in time where the insult has gone out of hand?

Yes o,VERY WRONG,hes stronger than her for one and am sure a good dad will never disrespect his kids by slapping a lady!

No disrespect bro but I can't seem to place my finger on why your 60-year old father would all of a suden start behaving like a bull in a Chinese shop and dishing out thunderous slaps to his own family members.

Has he always been this hot tempered hedgehog or is this a recent development?

As for wanting to move out, it all depends on your financial warchest but even that is not advisable seeing as you want to do so in a haste. Remember the saying about hasty climbers.

Whatever the case, I think you should just roll over and let the whole thing blow away. Its not worth the drama. Don't even bother asking your mum and if she wants to explain, tell her its all gone now.

As for your Pal, I'd say you should keep a healthy distance. The two of you mayu hve been watching too much nollywood and your now toying with strong words like its some kind of conundrom. You think all the while he's been looking after you, there hasn't been a thing or two or you did that pissed off his nuts?

This should serve you both as a lesson.

Lastly, youre on the verge of becoming independent and you don't need distractions right now in the form of beefs to prove meaningless points. Come off your high horse.

Op, by the time you get home today, husband and wife go don settle. Na you go con be the enemy of the both of them. And I hope you aren't moving to a friend's or relative's place? My broda, na there you go know the height of disgrace. Just gegely go home, console your mom, talk to your dad and go to sleep. Then starting from the end of this month, start to foot some bills in the house, even if it is ordinary nepa bill, then start saving for your own apartment.

Adyrin:
Must you report your family on NairaLand
Na wa for some people sef Ooº°
So W̶̲̥̅̊ђA̶̲̥̅t exactly do yu want us to do?
To come and give your father general slaping section?

Nawa for u o. he just wanted advice on how well to handle the situation. some comments might really be of great help to him

JeffreyJamez:
Na you make mistake na...... if I were you,the moment he slapped my mum,he had lost that respect and na as e dey hot I go yarn am scores.... if e do anyhow e sef go collect anyhow... what non-sense!!....

Anyways..... if he has a car,break windscreen and tear the tire..... and tell him you did it! For every slap your mom collects, damage one personal item of his that is precious to him...e go learn quick.

him doing all these you stated won't help matters, rather it ll worsen it. Remember, we are supposed to honour our parents? I know what the man did was wrong but his role now (the son) is to bring peace, I am guessing the dad isn't a beater, something must have happened. Let him find out what that is. It is always good we learn people around us, always close your mouth, distance your self from an angry person. The man is still his father, let him be the matured one here and make peace. If he leaves the house now who ll protect the mother and siblings from the fathers hands? Incase he wants to now make it a habit of slapping, everybody.

Anger, anger, anger. You want to leave the house because your dad slapped your mum; because you intervened and he gave you a hot slap also? Would your mother also follow you when you leave? What your dad did is wrong but hey, they are husband and wife. You will be surprised to find out that they have pushed the episode behind them. Your anger and supposed action would only be the constant reminder to the sore wound.

If you are in your late 20s as you said, it means they have come a long way. Do you by chance want to split them? At least, your mum should pack out of the house since your father is a wife-beater. Hia.

If you cannot engage your dad when he is more sober, please leave the house for them asap. YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO START YOUR OWN HOME. Your mum knows what to do, if at all she needs to.

It's funny how ppl who have never been victims of domestic violence come on social media and spew trash like “your mum must have done sth to deserve dat slap” “why would you try to defend her” and other nonsense.

Mr, you were right to try and defend her, it's a consolation to your poor mother that at least someone stood up for her.

My dad is a wife beater too, can't count the number of beatings I have taken for my mom cos I always jump in and take the beatings instead (mumsy is over 50 and I want her to reap the fruit of her labour).

Silent treatment works when dealing with beastly fathers. Treat him as you would an older acquaintance and not a father. When you can, move out, but not before letting him know his behaviour made you lose respect for him.


Above all, try not to replicate his behaviour. It's so easy. You hardly see it coming

This Op sef, let me start by commending ur pman who's a real soldier even at 60yrs
These are ur sins Mr op, first u didn't marry ur mother for him so there's a limit to which u can interfere even if she's ur mother. Secondly if u think u r now a man, den u have no business living in his house. Thirdly I smell a lot of immaturity in ur write-up bcz if u have really kept a girl for say 5yrs as ur baby then u will know dat tamming the excesses of a woman u love isn't easy. Then finally, align urself more with ur daddy bcz u still got alot missing in u as a soldier just like ur daddy. Don't make ur dad see u as a weakling instead of a soldier that he is

OP, you want to teach your dad a moral lesson before you park out of the house... cos of this single occurrence? If he was used to "teaching you lessons" for misbehaving since he gave birth to you; Im sure you won't be alive today.

Grow up! Talk to mum to find out what happened (Im sure a real mum will ask you not to interfere, and even refuse to tell you what it was so as not to bring enemity between you too) and then talk to dad... He is your dad joo.

Dont do anything stupid cos even your mum will be against you. They have been married for ages and theres no greater bond than that. You might think you are doing mum a favour but you will be compounding issues.

simplemach:
You are even lucky it was only a slap u got.

Extremely lucky indeed. If I were the father, I would have given him five times of that slab. Very silly boys of these days.
Who does he think he is to confront his dad? A sixty year old father for that matter. Na him fault?

I Think You acted UNWISELY and You LACK Respect For The Oldman.. Why Confront Your Father Just Like That?? You’re Lucky It Was Just A Mere SLAP! By Now Mom & Dad Must Have Settled Their Differences and You Will Be Seen As An Idiotic FOOL by both of them.. Sorry if am harsh but thatz the HARD TRUTH and whether you can handle the TRUTH is another thing..

He deserves more slaps,na wettin be him own?you don't confront your father no matter the situation,he should have waited for things to calm down and then have a talk witg his father. Honestly he deserves more igbati oloyi. I have checked your profile picture,anywhere I see you I must give you the remaining slaps,at least 5

CONTROLi:
I Think You acted UNWISELY and You LACK Respect For The Oldman.. Why Confront Your Father Just Like That?? You’re Lucky It Was Just A Mere SLAP! By Now Mom & Dad Must Have Settled Their Differences and You Will Be Seen As An Idiotic FOOL by both of them.. Sorry if am harsh but thatz the HARD TRUTH and whether you can handle the TRUTH is another thing..

you hit the nail on the head jare. God bless you

Lumpyy:

You are just a bully sir

Bully? Me? My friend, I am giving him sterling advice here.

Lumpyy:

did u read him say his mum stopped him from moving out before?

People always find an excuse to allow them live with their weakness.

Lumpyy:

so if theres space in his dad's house and hes nt married yet,he should b wasting money for rent?

There is space in my father's house. a large portion of all Nairaland adults have space in their fathers houses too. Is that why he will remain a burden permanently?
I fail to understand your point about saving rent money. Are you seriously saying he doesn't contribute to the rent money even while staying with his dad? And he is a man in his late 20's.
The standard model is, a father trains his kids up until adulthood (which in the Nigerian context usually means until they graduate from University, complete NYSC and get a job). Why would anyone linger on and on until he is chased out?
The father's reaction should tell you how the fellow is now being seen as a parasite.

Lumpyy:

and your kind is usually the one being laughed!

Atrocious grammar aside, you sound very foolish. Do you know me?
I can understand your ire sha. You're probably in a parasitic situation with your parents right now. Your type is the one that still stays in the boys quarters even after marriage. After all, why waste money on rent, eh? Maybe you should even convince the OP to keep running home for breakfast and lunch so he can save money on food. Smh

At least, if i'm being laughed at, it will not be by anyone from my family. I was out of the house and paying house rent right after NYSC at 23.

Freest:
It happened this morning oh, was bathing and prepping for work when i heard my dad at the top of his voice, before i knew it i heard mumsy crying, he had slapped her. Am in the same house( Haven't been able to move out yet) and i couldn't just bear my mum crying so i went to my dad to tell him what he did was not right. He is almost 60 and so is his wife, at that age you slap your wife i was trying to use the voice of reason as i was angry but kept my calm (Who wouldn't be angry seeing his/her mum cry?) before i could finish explaining and appealing to him i received from his left hand of righteousness a resounding slap... it got me confused as i didn't know what i did to deserve such. I didn't say anything harsh nor abusive. Am angry but didn't wanna return that slap nor say words I'll regret. I told him I'm moving out and he just lost a son, he replied that i wont be missed. I wanna do something he'll never forget, before i leave, please i need advice as it dented my personality even amongst my younger siblings and neighbors. I really am confused on what to do before moving out. Am so pissed now
pls sincere advice. thanks

The fact that you didnt respond actually boosted your personality amongst your younger siblings and neighbors... Still according him respect because he is your father... Dont be surprised, he probably respects you even more now...

You can move out, but dont be pressured to do so, and worsen your life... Taking the right decision at the wrong time is the wrong decision...

Bluetooth2:


Yes because his dad is a monster just like you who won't do nothing nether. Now pisssoff ratface

u are bast.ard

sonssyo:


dis is sad dou,some men ar nt just normal. wel i advise u nt to do anyfin funny,just keep calm,work harder,save some money,park out of d huz.live ur life,cos puppy wil be thinkg dat he provides shelter and food etc for u.anyways hw wil u rate mumsy,good or bad woman, if good plz do take good care of her and for pupsy just do d needful,greet him,dnt keep malice wit him,but hv it at d back of ur mind dat u dnt hv a good father,good dad dnt beat dre wife.plz dnt park out of d huz yet,arrange ur slf first

This ur advice na rubbish o! Tho I blame the op sha, bcz everyone here reigning insult on his own daddy as if they have got a better one at home. Well in as much as I don't know exactly what the woman did, the op sounded as if its d first tym such is happening. If that's the case, then the man don try not to have lost his cool for so many years of marriage. Maybe the woman is wrong here but that's not enough to justify the slap anyways but u will always agree with me that taming the excesses of a wife can be so difficult. That's my opinion tho

texazzpete:


Bully? Me? My friend, I am giving him sterling advice here.




People always find an excuse to allow them live with their weakness.




There is space in my father's house. a large portion of all Nairaland adults have space in their fathers houses too. Is that why he will remain a burden permanently?
I fail to understand your point about saving rent money. Are you seriously saying he doesn't contribute to the rent money even while staying with his dad? And he is a man in his late 20's.
The standard model is, a father trains his kids up until adulthood (which in the Nigerian context usually means until they graduate from University, complete NYSC and get a job). Why would anyone linger on and on until he is chased out?
The father's reaction should tell you how the fellow is now being seen as a parasite.




Atrocious grammar aside, you sound very foolish. Do you know me?
I can understand your ire sha. You're probably in a parasitic situation with your parents right now. Your type is the one that still stays in the boys quarters even after marriage. After all, why waste money on rent, eh? Maybe you should even convince the OP to keep running home for breakfast and lunch so he can save money on food. Smh

At least, if i'm being laughed at, it will not be by anyone from my family. I was out of the house and paying house rent right after NYSC at 23.

Congratulations sir o,you have done what nobody else could,at 23 u say?dont get me started on what so many young dudes of that age can/has achieved,you are not special and should not have spoken to the op that way,you are obvioulsy a spoilt kid who thinks life is a joke,il not give you 1 more thought as i am far from where you are in life!

JeffreyJamez:
Na you make mistake na...... if I were you,the moment he slapped my mum,he had lost that respect and na as e dey hot I go yarn am scores.... if e do anyhow e sef go collect anyhow... what non-sense!!....

Anyways..... if he has a car,break windscreen and tear the tire..... and tell him you did it! For every slap your mom collects, damage one personal item of his that is precious to him...e go learn quick.

lol……… action guy

It's obvious that a lot of folks here see what happened between the op's parents as normal.

They most likely grew up with fathers who slapped their moms regularly........

So op, please discard advice from these lot who see domestic violence as normal.