To those saying the wife lacks home training for slapping back, What do you call someone who give you a slap for refusing to give them what is rightfully yours?

hummmmm.....bro it somhw a complicating issue oooo...but well let me say somtin I tink u ar going to benefit frm......I will 1st blame you bro for failing to perform the adequate function of arrangement in both party.....a man wthout policy is like a building wthout concreate....tell me how it will not collapse....in every circumstances you don't suppose to disrespect ur mum in d presenc0e of ur wife and vise versa....cos even I dat is yet to married know dat will don't suppose 2 down grade our mum in d presence of our girl,its improper wen u share ur mumn topic wth ur wife or family...dis will make ur wife feel important dat notin will happen if she misbehave 2 ur mum....so bro if am d 1...cos I don't have any sky apart frm heaven....i don't have any tin except my mum..and neva on earth will eva disrespect my mum in d presence of my wife...and if it happen dis came 2 existence....hummmm...I will tell d wife to keep praying dat my mum should listen 2 her apology....cos if not.....i can Hv anoda wife bt can't hav anoda MUM...I prefare my mum 2 mislead me dan my wife 2 mislead me cos if my mum mislead me she will neva leave me...bt my wife can leave me if she mislead me....so bro I believe dis girl is not a good girl.....even if she has born me 20 children...I will let her go...my mum is more dan any precious gold....i prefare a girl love my mum dan me..cos is my everytin..all I have is her....i can neva let her dis own me because of any reason.....

I had a similar issue between mum and wifey only that they did theirs over the phone. Funny both are ibadan raised so it seemed the blood boiled at exactly the same time. I blamed my wife for not putting off the phone once she became annoyed by what she was hearing (abi na by force to reply?) and had her send sms to apologise. Anyways mum fired back by sending me and pregnant wife from her house we were living in then telling me she had other opportunities for me in lagos. I no vex only that I did not receive her calls nor called her for about two years.

After she got an inter-mediator to bring her to my new place I stuck to my horns that she need settle things between dad and herself and not that I was angry. If she had believed she has a place with her own hubby there would not have been any reason to poke into another's matrimonial home in the first place. She obeyed and things are between us as they were before as if nothing happened only that there is no interraction between them two yet as well as no wahala.

Thing is loving mums do this possessiveness with their sons when the love they should have for dad has waned and being transferred to that loving and caring son. It is always better to keep two volatile liquids away from one another. Women have this jealousy whenever they believe someone is sharing the love of their man/friend/lover/son.

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.

While you were around mum did not ask you for the pictures neither did she decide to wait till you come around once she was rejected.

Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.

At least they were smiling together before you left why the sudden decision to go slap your wife over saying no to pictures?

No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.

Wifey did not want a degenerative state hence showed respect for you by CALLING YOU BEFORE THINGS GOT OUT OF HAND.

Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.

Does you mum slap people around if she is denied anything. If there was love and she respected you she should have waited for you to come back and ask you for the pictures or was she thinking she might have had to slap you too if you denied her request. It is another's property for God's sake and respect should be shown when asking for something not yours andnot hitting people. Was it not the other day on Nairaland Frontpage that it was reported that a lady got blinded from a slap the school teacher gave her ( a blind swollen eye from just an equallly dangerous slap now a police case). I would attach the picture.

https://www.nairaland.com/2196810/female-student-goes-blind-after

Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

Your happiness from now henceforth till the end of your days lies with whomever is your wife and your kids not your mum's house.

Your wife hitting back your mum deprived you the judgement of asking your mum never to step into your home again.

NOW CONCERNING WIFEY

Tell her to calm down that hot blood else it would lead her to do 'greater things' in the future if not controlled. Fairly it was not your face or mine that the hot slap landed on but she need not to fall into an obvious trap especially seeing that the stage was set. Furthermore, no one for any reason lays a hand on an elderly citizen for any reason not to talk of frailty sef as come what may the points are always against the one who does so even in the face of self defence, just protect yourself and back away slowly. Let her also in your presence tell the kids that she did a grave thing against grandma and would be apologizing to that effect. Teach her also to avoid grudges especially if there is any of those spiritualists leading her on (a very dangerous layup). Two wrongs don't make a right.

My wife would gladly do that but my mother has threatened fire and brimstone if I ever show up at her place with my wife.

I recommend you get your wife to sms an apology (at least it would be seen and read) and you take the siddon-look approach. If any relatives try anything tell them you have heard them and put it under advicement and do what some civil service staff do of filing it under the carpet and set it with the trash.

Above all it is all your decision and you not another has to live with the results. Also keep them apart so that you don't grow greyish in your young days dear. To each queen her kingdom - the queen without cannot dethrone the one within.

Wishing you well - Teemy

Some men mumu sha,

ur wife beat ur mother over ordinary photo
anand u are here asking wat to do?

Kiss her and thank her for a job well done.
Una plan am.

Rotiix:

When did beating our parents back become the best way of correcting them when they stray? I'm learning this from u for the 1st time!

You don't get. Where I come from, parents do not hit grown up children. So its new to me!

If your wife has any respect for you, she will not engage in verbal abuse with your own mother, let alone physical fight. To make matters worse, your mum was asking legitimately for pictures of her grand child!!!
Your wife who you claim you love has no place in your household until she knows her boundaries. This is more than an abomination.
By the way, do not invoke the western culture here. Even in the western countries a respectful daughter Inlaw will never do this. Additionally she will have no right to deprive a grand mother pictures of her grand children.
We are Nigerians. i support your family decision on this.

MadCow1:



My Father sent his mum packing from the house after she had blatantly refused to allow his new wife then (my mum) have any peace at home. Infact one day my grandma came from the village with a girl and started evicting my mum from the house. Needless to say my mum stood her ground and threw my grandma out of the house with the girl. When my dad returned from work and saw his mum outside, he found out what happened, gave her money to go find a hotel to stay the night and return to the village with an instruction not to return until she was ready to respect and accept his wife.

Needless to say, but after many years (over 6 years) of no communication, they reconciled and became the best of friends and became even closer than my Dad was to her.

I remember when I went through a serious fight with my mum and went to my Dad to mediate, he said something to me that I would never forget; He said I know your mum is wrong and I have told her in my own way, but if you expect me to take sides with you on this matter against my wife then you are stupider than I would have thought. My dad always made it clear that in every situation, his wife comes first even before us his kids.

That is the same mantra I hold till this day. Find a good woman and marry her and hold her close to your heart. Protect her with all you have against everyone and everything including yourself and even your kids. Never make your wife feel like she is an outsider, never take sides with anybody against her. Never reprimand her in the presence of a third party. Treat her like you would treat yourself as she is an extension of you not a third party.

Even my mother knows she can't touch my wife.

So there are some wise men here eh kwa


Still reading

Vision4God:



Pls value ur family. No matter wat. Correct ur wife in love, make ur mum understand dat ur hom is ur home& watever she has 2 do,pick shud b wt permission.
Pls protect ur home.

beautiful comment.my MIL takes permission b4 anyth.respect is reciprocal nt frm one side.
In another life i want to hv same MIL cos shez more than a mother to me.wen a mother hates ur wife she wont even see d good side of ur wife cos shez blinded by hatred.

FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH..SEE HOW THAT WOULD SETTLE THE AIR SO FAST..COME BACK AFTER ONE MONTH

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.
No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.
Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.
Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

Ummuja:
My MIL once cald me a witch for smthg dt was entirely nt my fault I was pained bt i didnt show ha immediately I even tld ha tank u n lft ha presence I kept to my room until ha son came bc he noticed smthg was wrong n didnt ask until in d middle of d nyt I narrated evrythg dt hapnd n he apologized I dnt knw wat he tld hs moda bt since den if she has issues she goes through hm to avoid stories dt touch
Yes d MIL went too far bt wif shldnt v fought ha MIL she has to apologize seriously den wen evrythg is ova d op has to show evrybdy hs boundary n whoever croses dt boundary has herself to blame



My 2 cent

Better pikin.

U wait, all those defending dat disgrace of a wife will also come and defend her wen he puts this man in hospital. The woman has a temper and has no home training. I bet if it was her mum dat wanted those pics she wud gladly give her without a question asked.

treat ur MIL as u wud wish someone to treat ur mum or ursef wen ur sons get married.

aflyingbird:
why are some of y'all blaming the wife ?

OP , ur mother wanted to take the photos, but u didn't mention her wanting to print them and bring back the original. 1) ur wife had every right to prevent her from taking the photos ( they are her photos after all ), especially if there was no mention of printing. they r child dedication photos dat mean a lot to ur wife , of course she won't let anyone take them just like that . 2) ur mother had no right to slap ur wife just 'cus ur wife said she couldn't take the pictures. why hit her? she isn't ur child neither is she a little kid to be slapped anyhow. u don't put ur hands on anyone. let's be fair here : your mother initiated this fight. ur mother had her sister n friend there so of course they will take her side, ur wife is the lone ranger dat they ganged up on , but if u ask me she is the victim . they were probably looking for a fight from the start

Sorry to say this but you are talking like a single woman....who told you that the photos belong to the wife alone?the wife should first love the mother inlaw and learn how to treat older people bc sometimes they can be sturborn...me,you,the wife...we all have mothers and cant fight our mother bc they slapped us

cococandy:
What is the cause of the animosity between them?
Get to the root to solve the problem.

You know most of us Nigerians are superstitious.
I've heard people believe that one can use pictures to do juju for someone else.

What is your wife afraid of that she's not telling you?


Uncle you can't leave your wife for that reason.
Let her apologize to your mother for hitting her back and getting into a fight with her.
Na old woman she be o. What if she'd injured her seriously in the fight? Old people are fragile.
She could have tired to endure the slap and wait to tell you when you get back (easy to say I know).

As for your mom, when everything is settled you need to talk to her.
I know old people are revered, as such almost worshipped and can do no wrong in the eyes of traditional laws. Still she needs to be more peaceful. The pictures don't belong to her. Since she asked your wife and your wife said no, she should have waited until you got back to ask you instead of slapping your wife. Is your wife a riffraff that can be slapped anyhow? So annoying

She could have even asked you before you left since she knows she doesn't get along too well with your wife.

Those two ladies she brought to visit with her, why didn't they stop the fracas before you got there?
I'm suspecting them.

For her to slap her DIL in the presence of visitors means it has been decided that she has and deserves no respect in your house. Sad.

Pls set the boundaries in your home o.

I don't know why women won't let their sons have peace in their marriages.

Great insight. Are u married?

MadCow1:



My Father sent his mum packing from the house after she had blatantly refused to allow his new wife then (my mum) have any peace at home. Infact one day my grandma came from the village with a girl and started evicting my mum from the house. Needless to say my mum stood her ground and threw my grandma out of the house with the girl. When my dad returned from work and saw his mum outside, he found out what happened, gave her money to go find a hotel to stay the night and return to the village with an instruction not to return until she was ready to respect and accept his wife.

Needless to say, but after many years (over 6 years) of no communication, they reconciled and became the best of friends and became even closer than my Dad was to her.

I remember when I went through a serious fight with my mum and went to my Dad to mediate, he said something to me that I would never forget; He said I know your mum is wrong and I have told her in my own way, but if you expect me to take sides with you on this matter against my wife then you are stupider than I would have thought. My dad always made it clear that in every situation, his wife comes first even before us his kids.

That is the same mantra I hold till this day. Find a good woman and marry her and hold her close to your heart. Protect her with all you have against everyone and everything including yourself and even your kids. Never make your wife feel like she is an outsider, never take sides with anybody against her. Never reprimand her in the presence of a third party. Treat her like you would treat yourself as she is an extension of you not a third party.

Even my mother knows she can't touch my wife.

ur father deserves one gbosa.
That is how husband nid to be.my hubby d try small sha,my cousin's husband wen der had a quarel,smth der would ve settle btwn them,d husband wen n call d children nd the broda,gave dem right to insult nd beat his wife if she mis behave.sm men re d real devils

cococandy:

Why would she think such of your mom?
Does she have specific reasons or just hunches.

Haba even if she fears such (which BTW is kind of insulting to you if she has no reason to suspect your mom) she can always pray about her fears and not let them govern her.

Your wife needs to understand that fighting a senior citizen is not just disrespectful but very risky. They have brittle bones. What if mama fell and broke her hip (very common) or worse cracked her skull?
Wifey so would have had to live with that in her conscience for a long time.

I know I'm the one holding the phone, not getting slapped so it is easy for me to say but momentary gratification of hitting back can't compensate for the consequences that may follow.

Not worth it.

You alwys mk sense.I applaud that

ireneidiva:

You don't get. Where I come from, parents do not hit grown up children. So its new to me!

Now I get, suffice to say where u come from, they advocate giving an elder a hot slap back, peradventure they misbehave or slap u.

aflyingbird:
why are some of y'all blaming the wife ?

OP , ur mother wanted to take the photos, but u didn't mention her wanting to print them and bring back the original. 1) ur wife had every right to prevent her from taking the photos ( they are her photos after all ), especially if there was no mention of printing. they r child dedication photos dat mean a lot to ur wife , of course she won't let anyone take them just like that . 2) ur mother had no right to slap ur wife just 'cus ur wife said she couldn't take the pictures. why hit her? she isn't ur child neither is she a little kid to be slapped anyhow. u don't put ur hands on anyone. let's be fair here : your mother initiated this fight. ur mother had her sister n friend there so of course they will take her side, ur wife is the lone ranger dat they ganged up on , but if u ask me she is the victim . they were probably looking for a fight from the start

Wud yu allow yur brother's wife slap ur mum or injure her in a fight even when yur mum s wrong? Wud yu slap back ur mum simply cos its glaring that she's wrong and yu still got slapped? I knw yu talking cos yu r a woman bt marriage in Nigeria brings yu to d position of a daughter to ur MIL so if ur MIL hits yu she old enuf or eVen older than yur own mum so all u can do is cry and walk away then report later. I don't knw abt yu guys bt nobody dares to hit my mum cos I gat a lot of respect for mothers so mine shld be respected no matter d case. Frm wat d op said, u cannot hate my mum for no reason simply because d younger generation feels all MIL ar old fashioned or hv outdated mentality or dey liv in d village so dey r witches. Yu accuse d woman dat gave birth to ur hubby, nurtured him to d man u met and admired enuf to fall in love wit. This poor woman has every fucking right to ask for pics of her grandchildren cos she loves them. Hw cn u do a child dedicatn and u dnt wnt ur MIL to hv memory of it as if u wunt giv ur own mom.
Op, dis isn't an advice fr u to tke sides wit ur mom. Ensure ur wife knws dat she cannot disrespect ur mum no matter wat bt let ur mum knw yu she must respect yu nw as a man and by extension, she must respect yur wife. Be firm in ur and probably involve ur dad so he can handle things with ur mum

Is high time mothers-in-law start respecting their daughters-in-law

Respect is reciprocal, is give and take
That fight has already been planned by ur mother, her sister and her friend, thats why they came knowing fully well that your wife will refuse her the picture, she still went ahead to take it

Something must start a fight

But if you ask me, everything depends on you the "man" draw the boundary btw them, be the man and act like one. Your wife should know ur mother is ur mother and your mother should know ur wife is your wife. State that fact now

MadCow1:



My Father sent his mum packing from the house after she had blatantly refused to allow his new wife then (my mum) have any peace at home. Infact one day my grandma came from the village with a girl and started evicting my mum from the house. Needless to say my mum stood her ground and threw my grandma out of the house with the girl. When my dad returned from work and saw his mum outside, he found out what happened, gave her money to go find a hotel to stay the night and return to the village with an instruction not to return until she was ready to respect and accept his wife.

Needless to say, but after many years (over 6 years) of no communication, they reconciled and became the best of friends and became even closer than my Dad was to her.

I remember when I went through a serious fight with my mum and went to my Dad to mediate, he said something to me that I would never forget; He said I know your mum is wrong and I have told her in my own way, but if you expect me to take sides with you on this matter against my wife then you are stupider than I would have thought. My dad always made it clear that in every situation, his wife comes first even before us his kids.

That is the same mantra I hold till this day. Find a good woman and marry her and hold her close to your heart. Protect her with all you have against everyone and everything including yourself and even your kids. Never make your wife feel like she is an outsider, never take sides with anybody against her. Never reprimand her in the presence of a third party. Treat her like you would treat yourself as she is an extension of you not a third party.

Even my mother knows she can't touch my wife.

see this woman wrapper lol. i am sure you tie iro and carry your kids on your back too. like father like son. some of you niggaz gotta start putting the fear of God in deez women

cococandy:
What is the cause of the animosity between them?
Get to the root to solve the problem.

You know most of us Nigerians are superstitious.
I've heard people believe that one can use pictures to do juju for someone else.

What is your wife afraid of that she's not telling you?


Uncle you can't leave your wife for that reason.
Let her apologize to your mother for hitting her back and getting into a fight with her.
Na old woman she be o. What if she'd injured her seriously in the fight? Old people are fragile.
She could have tired to endure the slap and wait to tell you when you get back (easy to say I know).

As for your mom, when everything is settled you need to talk to her.
I know old people are revered, as such almost worshipped and can do no wrong in the eyes of traditional laws. Still she needs to be more peaceful. The pictures don't belong to her. Since she asked your wife and your wife said no, she should have waited until you got back to ask you instead of slapping your wife. Is your wife a riffraff that can be slapped anyhow? So annoying

She could have even asked you before you left since she knows she doesn't get along too well with your wife.

Those two ladies she brought to visit with her, why didn't they stop the fracas before you got there?
I'm suspecting them.

For her to slap her DIL in the presence of visitors means it has been decided that she has and deserves no respect in your house. Sad.

Pls set the boundaries in your home o.

I don't know why women won't let their sons have peace in their marriages.

Well Said Ma. The Op needs to settle his home. Set boundaries between your wife and mother vice versa.

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.
No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.
Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.
Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

Therefore shall a man leave his father
and his mother, and shall cleave unto
his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

Do you believe God? Then take heed to his Word. They may fight but be diplomatic. When your mother shall pass away at old age, you will be with ur wife alone. She is all you got and the children. You're now another family. Your mum is now a third party in the face of the Almighty!! Caution ur wife and appeal to your mother and everything is done with patience and long-suffering. May the Lord be with you.

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.

No love lost between them
Meaning your mother has been to your home at other times to start trouble .
Your mother comes with her own sister and a friend
Your wife received them,she was kind to them,conversation was jovial,in other words she conducted herself well in front of her guests so much so that you were comfortable and left them to continue their good time.
This tells me you knew your wife will act right and has acted right from the moment her visitors stepped in.

No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.

As soon as you left,trouble started
Your wife did the reasonable thing by calling you and you did the right thing by coming home immediately

Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight.

You came home separate a fight going on between wife and mother

I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.

The two " independent witnesses" came with your mom and their own words confirm that your wife prevented mom from taking pictures off a family album,not refused to give mom a picture but prevented her from taking a picture.
That is your mother's number one offense
You don't take people's property without asking
Your mom was dead wrong here
The pictures are in an album to be viewed by guests not to be taken away.if you wife refused her a picture,she should have told you. not try to take it by force and worse still to beat up the woman of the house for her own property inside her own house kwa,perhaps in the presence of her children?
That is insane.
In civilized countries your mother would have been arrested and charged for assault and battery and rightfully so
By the account of her own friend and sister,she acted very badly and I'm sure you know your mom well.
I can assure you this account was the mildest the onlookers could put it yet the blame so far is entirely on your mother.
The gash on her face means nothing to me didn't your wife have scratches on hers?she brought it on herself.if your wife had a gun in her purse and shot her after the assault, in civilized countries she will go scot free.Your mom was the aggressor.
If someone slaps me in my home I don't know what I might do.What your wife did was self defense
She has every right yo defend herself in her own house.Your mom attacked her,I am sure first with words then physically.Who wouldnt be incensed by that?

Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.

She should leave her house for defending herself against your unruly mother?
Your mother not only lacks decorum ,she is also very manipulative.She acts badly and is now intimidating you with severance of her motherliness when all she has caused her daughter in law is grief and portrayed the behavior of an evil witch to her grandchildren?
If you fall for this crap,you had no business taking that young girl out of her parent's house,don't tell me there's no single reasonable person in your whole entire family besides you.

I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

In all your write up,this last part gives me the entire picture of your wife and her character and your marriage ( without your meddling mother)
I haven't seen one iota of anger towards your wife from you because you know in your heart of hearts,she is a good wife and mother and your only wish she could get along with your mom
I will give my candid advice in my next post.

women and their wahala. To be frank here, ur mom is the trouble maker. firstly why didnt she ask for reprints? she must av had issues with ur wife prior to d fight, so she should av asked u for a copy instead. she now slapped ur wife(gross indiscipline)in d presence of guest and those ones watched them fight. she didnt end it there o, she told other family members trying to gang them up against ur wife yet she has refused to forgive. nawa o. ur wife sef no try for fighting back but i cant fully blame her. Guy try b d man. put ur mum in her place, she has her own home, dont let her destroy yours. u av to b very firm here. stil go n apologise with ur wife, let her push u out so that it will b on record that u made ammends. pls dont let emotions determine ur actions n remember its ur home n life not hers.

@perfectionist

While I can understnd your wifyz position. She's a mother too she feels the need to protect her kids too from whatever danger she feelsmitght come to them.however hitting an eldrly woman, your mother for that matter was just sooooooo WRONG. Infact, abomination.



She shld have just stood her ground take all the slaps in the world and wait for you.
That wld show she's got some respect for you and your mother. I tink your wify is troublesome my dear. You really need to talk to her and let her knw you won't tolerate such an attitude again.


And for your mum. Truth be told, she shldnt have slapt your wife. I understand her anonyance now but another truth be told, she has no right to tell your wife with whom you have two kids with to leave your home. Its not her marriage and on your wedding day, you took a vow before God to remain with your wife. Hence your mum shld respect that decision. I think your mom is also troublesome my dear.


First thing first, pacify your mum. Like it or not your mumz forgivenes is significant to your hapines. So try try n try n try to get her to forgive your wify and you. Try to the point you know GOD HIMSELF knows you,ve tried your best.


Cheers

allcomage:

Am sorry you sounded you were from a violent or broken home. Easily picking fight with your mil cos pics is despicable. Wisdom is profitable. She should have waited and inform the husband that mil took the best picture which cannot be reprinted? Can the husband fight with his mil over such? To me the lady didn't act maturely. What if the mil fainted,injured seriously or even died in the process,would you say the pictures would worth the wahala she will find herself? Respect for elders and inlaws is traditional in Africa and no modernity will just wish it away. Though I don't support the action of mil but the dil took the greater blame. Op give this reasonable time,talk to your mum as mom and son,apologize to her for your wife's action and let she be ready if she is still your mum and still loves you and your kids to accept her dil apology. Tell her dil deeply regretted her action . Then your wife should genuinely apologise to her. Tell your wife not to do such without having you in the picture. You need your wife and mother in your life to have a fulfilled married life.

I'm sorry we do not share the same opinion on this but that doesn't give you the right to decide what kind of home I come from. We live in a country where MILs just enjoy mistreating their DILs without any concrete reasons and over the years ladies have learnt to develop a thick skin and be ready for things like that. I am not a pretender! If my inlaws don't love and respect me, they shouldn't expect the same from me. All I'd worry about is my husband and children. I'm not saying being violent or fighting your MIL solves the problem here but not every DIL has the patience to endure maltreatment for as long as it lasts. You have to be bold enough to stand up to a not-so-loving MIL if not they'd end up running and ruining your home.

No sane woman enters a family and automatically becomes rude or rebellious to her MIL. As a matter of fact most women try hard to impress and win over their love even before the wedding, but if that doesn't work, you can't except her to keep ass-licking her MIL. If you didn't meet me as a pauper and you're not feeding my family, don't expect me to let you treat me like one.

Now the pictures in question are that of her grandchildren born by the woman she is not in good terms with. The wife has every right to say No, I don't know how she said it but she has the right. And if MIL wasn't satisfied with the answer she would have called or waited for her son and ask him to make copies for her, not slapping the poor lady. I do not know how it got to the point of fighting, but I remember the op said the wife called him, probably asking him to come warn his mother. And the two other people who came to the house with her are not good people if they couldn't do anything to stop the fight. Showed they all had a motive

For any one asking if she would refuse her mom a picture,we don't know the answer
There is a possibility her mom won't come and try to yank off pictures off an album and certainly won't slap her for refusing.

Na wa o
it luks to me like d stage was already set by ur mother for d fight.
abd bringing dose two women as witnesses

Wifey went too far tho

aflyingbird:
why are some of y'all blaming the wife ?

OP , ur mother wanted to take the photos, but u didn't mention her wanting to print them and bring back the original. 1) ur wife had every right to prevent her from taking the photos ( they are her photos after all ), especially if there was no mention of printing. they r child dedication photos dat mean a lot to ur wife , of course she won't let anyone take them just like that . 2) ur mother had no right to slap ur wife just 'cus ur wife said she couldn't take the pictures. why hit her? she isn't ur child neither is she a little kid to be slapped anyhow. u don't put ur hands on anyone. let's be fair here : your mother initiated this fight. ur mother had her sister n friend there so of course they will take her side, ur wife is the lone ranger dat they ganged up on , but if u ask me she is the victim . they were probably looking for a fight from the start

What is wrng is wrng. Dnt sugar-coat nd paint it as tz dda right thing to do. In all perspective the wife is at fault here, besides can she treat her mum the same even if she slaps her?
Well sha there is no need blaming her(the wife) coz Karma is a badt guy nd will definitely visit her too, itz has simple as that.

aflyingbird:
why are some of y'all blaming the wife ?

OP , ur mother wanted to take the photos, but u didn't mention her wanting to print them and bring back the original. 1) ur wife had every right to prevent her from taking the photos ( they are her photos after all ), especially if there was no mention of printing. they r child dedication photos dat mean a lot to ur wife , of course she won't let anyone take them just like that . 2) ur mother had no right to slap ur wife just 'cus ur wife said she couldn't take the pictures. why hit her? she isn't ur child neither is she a little kid to be slapped anyhow. u don't put ur hands on anyone. let's be fair here : your mother initiated this fight. ur mother had her sister n friend there so of course they will take her side, ur wife is the lone ranger dat they ganged up on , but if u ask me she is the victim . they were probably looking for a fight from the start

sis dis is 9geria.. Just incase u 4got.. ur post above would have been quite reasonable only if we were somewhere outside 9ja (obodo oyibo ) but here in 9ja, the wife is suppose to portray humility and courteousness in all manners, to her MIL... Yea d MIL is to be blamed, but not as much as the DIL. Cos dat is one of her priorities as a DIL..

Your wife is too forward and unnecessarily bold.if she allow her pick the pictures, you can always go back to retrieve them u see the pretext of reprinting a copy.

Then it seems you never let her know that she can not win a war with your mum, cos that enormity shld by exist in d first place

Rotiix:

Now I get, suffice to say where u come from, they advocate giving an elder a hot slap back, peradventure they misbehave or slap u.

Self defence. Anything to protect their lives. Bye!

MadCow1:



My take..

First and foremost Sir, you are a married man and your loyalty is to your wife and kids not your mother. This is the harsh and hard truth.

Secondly your mother has the least right when it comes to making demands in your matrimonial home. The mother of the baby refused to give her pictures of the baby and she has every right to do so because she is the mother. Remember that your mother's beef with your wife stems primarily from the fact that she is your mother so technically she is being served with her own medicine. The photographs are of your child and if your mother wanted any of them, she should have asked your wife or your permission first, not to proceed to take it without her consent.

And the fact that your mother threw the first slap is even most shocking to me. Some wives would have laid her out with one blow. Your wife has every right to protect herself in her house from anybody including you. Let me make it clear; The intruder here is your mum, the person who instigated the fight is your mum, the person who threw the first blow is your mum, the person who had the right to give out photos of the baby is your wife and if your mum got scratched in the process it was as a result of your mother's failure to act with maturity. She could have waited for your return to ask for the photos but rather she took it upon herself to assault your wife and got what she had coming.

Finally, if all efforts to genuinely broker peace fails, then in the interest of your immediate family, keep your mother in her home and keep your wife in hers. Nothing says they must be friends. But in all, your primary interest should be towards your wife not your mother.

I love this....I even love u cos if it.....sound advice