if he loved u, he would av married u and not the other lady. Keep ur fingers crossed, u'll meet ur own man, the one that will love u for who u are not the one that will cheat on u

if he loved u, he would av married u and not the other lady. Keep ur fingers crossed, u'll meet ur own man, the one that will love u for who u are not the one that will cheat on u

Hmmmm

How do u see urself? Is it as d best dumping ground for his sp*nk but not good enough to bear his name?
Pls sista, WISE UP!

Hmmmm

How do u see urself? Is it as d best dumping ground for his sp*nk but not good enough to bear his name?
Pls sista, WISE UP!

@LadyLova

You write:

but I'm Christian and I fear GOD

How can you then reconcile the statement above with what you are doing!! If you are doing your thing just do am, no put God name for thier abeg!!

People, shit happens. Even the strongest believers side-step from time to time. Yes, there are things
even your beloved pastors may have done or are doing right now that he will not want you or is wife
to know. There is no creation on earth who is upright all the time, hers may be sex, yours may be drinking,
or greed or whatever. Obviously, if your vice is not sex, it makes it easier to rain judgment on her.

The truth is in as much as most of us will like to pretend, life is very complicated and affairs of the hearts
are tricky. I doubt if this lady is dumb, she knows the score - she knows that the guy is married and may
never be hers. Maybe the guy was "nice" to her, I mean really nice. I don't know why he married someone
else or what transpired, but like I said earlier, shit happens and feelings are feelings. Maybe she is lonely
and needs company - reciprocal love may not really be part of the picture here.

However, does she plan to spend the rest of her life under this arrangement or will she rather find another
arrangement where she is center stage? Also, there are risks involved involved in continuing on like this.
She could get pregnant, his wife may find out and start raising hell (if wife is crazy enough, there is chance
of physical harm), etc. My advice is its time to use your head instead of your heart, you may still have feelings
for him - its okay, as it will dim with time. It should be time to move on. You can do it. Stop taking the calls,
and most certainly stop bedding him. Good luck.

The moment, people start thinking through about their response to situations, the better the result. See in life, we have a choice on how we respond to stimulus. We have the freedom to step back and reevaluate what our response will be, by looking at the big picture and the consequence of our response.

That said, I can't say I understand what she is going through, because I can never be in that position. Ask me why? I'll tell you. I don't let other people decide my life or how I intend to live it.

Iyke-D:

People, shit happens.

The truth is in as much as most of us will like to pretend, life is very complicated and affairs of the hearts
are tricky.  Maybe the guy was "nice" to her, I mean really nice. I don't know why he married someone
else or what transpired, but like I said earlier, shit happens and feelings are feelings. Maybe she is lonely
and needs company - reciprocal love may not really be part of the picture here.
It should be time to move on. You can do it. Stop taking the calls, and most certainly stop bedding him. Good luck.

One, I don't believe shit happens. We can to some extent control the shits in life. The things we can't control, like gravity, that I understand. Who we fall in love with, by golly we can control that shit. It is a personal choice. To be happy or to be sad. You have to decide what you want to do. If you are happy being a second best, then by hell, be. Only thing is that, every human being can be at the excellent level. You have to believe in yourself and see yourself more valuable than someone that lets emotions control. You have to decide your emotions and how you want to act. You, my dear young woman, you hold the key to your[b] happiness[/b].

Choose today, what you want to do. Sit back, re-evaluate your life. Think deep. Have a personal mission statement. Set goals.

You can do this and I am here and others to see you through, if indeed you want to.

@ Bhola
that's nice to know, First of all, I believe shit happens, and at the same time, things were predestined to take place, doesn't matter where, who or when.
Secondly, I cannot control who I fall in love with since I already believe that things are bound to happen, no matter what. Then again, we are entitled to our own beliefs and opinions about life, it helps a lot to learn other people views on certain issues.

,

Am I glad you found the courage to move on, Hell yeah. Way to go, girl!

the problem with this world is people not being able to say things the way it should be said. i cannot call myself ur friend if i cannot look u dead in the eye and give u a piece of my solid mind. if i dont i am not being truthful to u and to the one who gave me the head to think different from others. i dont know how else to say this but i'll make it as sugarcoated as possible,

a lot of us cannot handle the truth, yet we want people to tell us the truth. have u ever asked urself, when u suspect ur man or woman is cheating and u ask with fire in ur eyes,"TELL ME THE TRUTH?, " CAN I HANDLE THE TRUTH? truth hurts yet its essential to the growth of our being. i posted somn earlier and it no more here cos some people see it as being harsh, so i guess next time anyone reads a post by me he person shouldnt believe its content cos its all not true

I agree with ur quote that no one is perfect but u are using the phrase as an excuse to do what u r doing. God knows that the flesh is weak but we shld not be making the same mistake all over again. u r not trying to get out of it. u still want to see the dude despite him being married. u were dating his mate as well. what do u think? when he gets tired of ur sex he will ignore u. u will be the one loosing altogether becos he has a wife and child. what do u have prbly a job bla bla but no husband yet.
you need to get ur priorities right. You need to decide if u r for God or not. if u say yes to God i believe this relationship is not right for you. and if you think it will be difficult for u to get over it ask God to help u and he will surely do. i know it is not going to be easy but have faith in yourself and keep trusting God.

A man that cheat once will always cheat. if he cheated on his wife with u dont u think he is going to cheat on u when u ever get together.

@ Iyke
I know stuffs happen yeah but it seems that she is not learning from her mistake. She had the choice from running away from the relationship when they broke up the first time.

trust me i no dis might be hard hes just usin u hes flippin married only if he says hes gonna leave his wife n da kid u dont wanna destroy their happy home do u since u no da gal just tell him 2 sort his marriage out

I don't know what you're looking for(is it the sex?) but if you don't get out,you'll be hurt,real bad.

Don't know what you're looking for(is it the sex?),you should get out of it or you'll be hurt real bad.

This is lust not love.
You said you loved two friends and when you're not in good terms with one you quickly go to another?
This is bad!
Playlady stop it!
You can't claim to have the fear of God and do all these.
Repent!

The urge to 'shine congo' is an irresistible force.

Unfortunately there are no absolute rights and wrongs in the matters of the heart, so my advice to participants in any extra marital/curricular activities is to 'carry go'

But, be adviced that there will be repercussions and consequences for all parties involved. Some will end up been happier than when they started, some will end up eternally more miserable. But 'nothing spoil' sha, enjoy it while it last.


Me <== Does not judge anyone on issues on how, what, if, when, why and who people roll in the hay with.

men dis is real sad whether u like it or not, u gotta forget him or wot advice are u expecting?that we ask u to use voodoo on him or dat u kill his wife? u know its a lost battle im not blamin u cos i know its hard but u ain't got no choice.u might someday harm urself if u dont take steps towards forgettin him im sure ur not gettin any younger u need a man to call urs alone.Pray that d guy u eventually find won't find "GREAT GREAT GREATER SEX" outside.Ask God to help u.Don't break a home if u don't want urs to be broken.

sweetheart if he loved u more he would've married u instead.stop letting him eat his cake and having it.walk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Some girls can be really dumb

Dumb has nothing to do with it; let's hope you don't someday experience it. LOL!

i am not trying to sound sanctimonious here but one has to always look before leaping.Tell me,wat on earth can she benefit from that kind of association if not sorrows,heartbreak and even disgrace.The man will still go ahead and scratch his kini somewhere else.Some people need to wake up!!!

You asked for peoples' opinions and seem to be getting greatly offended when they advise accordingly. First of I personally believe you are suffering from a case of low self esteem. Why would you put yourself through so much to be with someone who doesn't deserve to even wash your feet?
Sweetheart, you are worth much more, don't let anyone, I say ANYONE mistreat you like that. I don't care how great you claimed the sex to be.
You need to do a seriously thorough self evaluation. Prioritize everything and everyone in your life. Let this guy go, I know it would be difficult. Sounds familiar? I had a similar experience, the guy wasn't married but he seems to have similar traits to your abuser( yes that's exactly what he is)
Start living for YOU. There are so many things you can accomplish without this obvious burden. Wrap him up and throw him in the ocean, where he belongs.
Someone once said "Love should never make you hurt or sad, for if someone Loves you he/she wouldn't make you do those things( paraphrasining)
Things you should do to rid yourself of evil guys:
1. adopt new hobbies, start doing things he dared you couldn't do before, like scuba diving.
2. change your physical appearance, maybe a new hairdo, wardrobe etc
3. get a new number( private) and make sure he is not aware of it
4. rekindle the friendships he destroyed when you both were wasting time.
5. if you are in school/college finish up that degree and get a great job
and last but certainly not least( well I did this) buy yourself a brand new "ride" and make sure when you are driving down the block to honk your horn at him in his beat up Toyota.

neelsel:

You asked for peoples' opinions and seem to be getting greatly offended when they advise accordingly. First of I personally believe you are suffering from a case of low self esteem. Why would you put yourself through so much to be with someone who doesn't deserve to even wash your feet?
Sweetheart, you are worth much more, don't let anyone, I say ANYONE mistreat you like that. I don't care how great you claimed the sex to be.
You need to do a seriously thorough self evaluation. Prioritize everything and everyone in your life. Let this guy go, I know it would be difficult. Sounds familiar? I had a similar experience, the guy wasn't married but he seems to have similar traits to your abuser( yes that's exactly what he is)
Start living for YOU. There are so many things you can accomplish without this obvious burden. Wrap him up and throw him in the ocean, where he belongs.
Someone once said "Love should never make you hurt or sad, for if someone Loves you he/she wouldn't make you do those things( paraphrasining)
Things you should do to rid yourself of evil guys:
1. adopt new hobbies, start doing things he dared you couldn't do before, like scuba diving.
2. change your physical appearance, maybe a new hairdo, wardrobe etc
3. get a new number( private) and make sure he is not aware of it
4. rekindle the friendships he destroyed when you both were wasting time.
5. if you are in school/college finish up that degree and get a great job
and last but certainly not least( well I did this) buy yourself a brand new "ride" and make sure when you are driving down the block to honk your horn at him in his beat up Toyota.

What of if the guy owns a cadillac or limo.Everybody cannot be your broke ass ex who owns a beat up toyota

Neelsel,

Don't mean to offend you but some of the stuff you said below seems to be straight from the
"Church of Oprah Winfrey Show".

Abuser? Who is abusing who? When has "consensual" sex between adults become an abuse?
I know we are in an age of political correctness, and I may be decades behind, but I don't see
how the guy can be singled out here for being the abuser (assuming that this qualifies as abuse).

I will think addiction is more the case than not. If you are addicted to cocaine or alcohol, do you
blame the coke or booze for your woes? I don't see mr. Coke or Mrs. Alchohol being arrested.

If anything at all while she realizes that what she is doing is wrong and needs to be stopped
somehow, she seems to cherish the sex and just being with the guy. This again is often the case
with most addicts - how to kick the habits.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Neelsel Over!

may God deliver us all from all the pretenders in Nairaland
my dear the best option is just allow the guy to go jeje
GOD WILL HEAL YOUR WOUND AND GIVE YOU A PERFECT MAN
AMEN!!!!!!

The truth is I don't even look at Orpah(not a fan, don't like her fanbase) It came straight from the heart.
I don't need to be influenced by some so-called celebrity to formulate my own opinon, it's that simple. You don't need a phd to do that.

Abuse can be physical,. mental or psychological,

Cant u see that u r just a plain old f, k is it hard for U 2 deduce wats inbetween d lines