Well, any attempt to comment on women issues as we men see & experience them is seen as bashing women. Feminazis take it as men saying they are perfect.
But there are pertinent questions. I have female friends I love dearly. They actually cannot find "decent" men as they claim.
However, when we discuss, the decent men almost have to have angelic qualities to qualify. Of course in addition to affluence otherwise understated as " a comfortable guy".

I drill it into their heads that such men don't exist. That yours truly doesn't even meet 50% of those criteria. And yet you girls consider me a good husband material. That I was taken NOT because I'm great, but by someone who saw potential & was ready to grow and progress with me.

They say they don't want to settle for less.

I have this friend in her mid 30s now. Her wish list for a man is out of this world. As pretty and sweet as she is, I have told her the truth. She cannot reciprocate a guy with those qualities in a million years.

She has been impatient, unreasonabe and arrogant towards her last bf. He has now quietly withdrawn. She's missing an opportunity in my opinion. Now she's chasing another guy that doesn't appear interested in her. Another self-induced heartache ahead.

Already, she's getting quite depressed about things easily. Parents now asking when she will marry and have kids. Regrets about abortions and others now surfacing.
Now, with such emotional baggage & wish list, the chances of a serious guy staying with her are not great.

I have even backtracked from introducing a good friend to her. Until she sorts herself out and face reality.

Some ladies also believe that marriage isn't for them. Op u try....

There is a Man out there for you just accept him d way he is.

Omotayor123:
Hmm.. My main man

So on point.. You talk wisdom.

So, are you in your late 30's or 40's?

ronald4lif:
There are potential husbands everywhere and when they're ready to get married they will. They keep waiting for ready-made guys whose heart belong somewhere else, prolly to a loyal lady who stood by them through thick and thin.

Except if they want to tell us those bus drivers, conductors, unemployed graduates and those earning less than 50K a month aren't good enough. Then they can as well mould a Dangote and Tony Elumelu replica for themselves.

They all want Dbanj....

Most ladies looking for husbands are their own problems.

A lady that started sleeping with men around 18yrs and now about 29 to 30yrs, yet she still goes to party and club like her life depends on it. They want a man to rent a hotel for their birthday and they will fill their Facebook page with party and birthday pictures + holidays pix abroad.

At the end, they tell you Nigeria guys are cowards and easily threatened. Why won't they be threatened?? when you maintain a social life they can't afford? Some of them need to slow down.... social hype is just too much.

Shaadey:
hehe Really?

yes now o. Hv u now resumed

AreaFada2:
Well, any attempt to comment on women issues as we men see & experience them is seen as bashing women. Feminazis take it as men saying they are perfect.
But there are pertinent questions. I have female friends I love dearly. They actually cannot find "decent" men as they claim.
However, when we discuss, the decent men almost have to have angelic qualities to qualify. Of course in addition to affluence otherwise undertated as " a comfortable guy".

I drill it into their heads that such men don't exist. That yours truly doesn't even meet 50% of those criteria. And yet you girls consider me a good husband material. That I was taken NOT because I'm great, but by someone who saw potential & was ready to grow and progress with me.

They say they don't want to settle for less.

I have this friend in her mid 30s now. Her wish list for a man is out of this world. As pretty and sweet as she is, I have told her the truth. She cannot reciprocate a guy with those qualities in a million years.

She has been impatient, unreasonabe and arrogant towards her last bf. He has now quietly withdrawn. She's missing an opportunity in my opinion. Now she's chasing another guy that doesn't appear interested in her. Another self-induced heartache ahead.

Already, she's getting quite depressed about things easily. Parents now asking when she will marry and have kids. Regrets about abortions and others now surfacing.
Now, with such emotional baggage & wish list, the chances of a serious guy staying with her are not great.

I have even backtracked from introducing a good friend to her. Until she sorts her self out and face reality.

That's the funny part. They love to chase who is not interested in them. I keep wondering why!

aristosoft:
Now, I know another reason why Nigeria is so backwards, people who are supposed to think about a solution are only busy dealing with ladies who turned them down because they ain't buoyant enough.

People should get a life first. Enough of this marriage talk at FP. Please!

All these useless marriage talks.

jnrbayano:
You were making sense until no 2.

"Igbos" are not expensive. The bride price paid to the bride's family is returned to the man in a 9 out of 10 situation (the bride price paid in the head of each of my 3 sisters were returned)

But first you have to get the money and find wife from the family that returns the bride price to prove the Op wrong.

keep dancing na so you go continue,one step infront five steps behind mtcewwwwwww
make I no slap you

aspirebig:


Pity fire, that is bitter truth....maybe you are one of them, see your name ....married virgin ...how naa?

Women don SUFFER

MARRIAGE is now an OLYMPIC Game.
The TRUTH is that MOST MEN are tired of MARRIAGE.
Because some believed that Things will get better immediately they get married, unfortunately it is not so.

Most MEN are JOBLESS now, so I ask with what will they come with to MARRY these ladies...?

NOW most MEN are been relieved of their duty.

LADIES are now more FAVOURED in the labour market because of ? CUSTOMER SERVICE which most of them indulge in. With this how do you expect the guys to earn a living and marry.

I have 2 elder BROTHERS who are yet to stand firm.
One was relieved by a BANK, which is what they are known for(not reaching the target). He is devasted. This is someone that just got married few days before sack, whereby the BANK MANAGER was invited.

Now how the u expect him to see marriage.?

So LIFE is getting more difficult... NOT that we Don't have MARRIAGEABLE LADIES.
Most LADIES have Jobs, some Lucrative yet they still find it difficult getting a HUSBAND... Because 97% of AFRICAN men can't stand having a lady as BREAD WINNER while alive. So they remain single till GOD knows when.

By 2020, I foresee DISASTER, if this issue of YOUTHS unemployment is not addressed.
Most LADIES will resort to getting only Pregnant.

IF a lady really wants to know how SWEET it is to be married , Just ask a WIDOW.

Here we go again! Another cliché post about single ladies. Surely, people must know that there are single men out there.

Gurgle:

Corrected* You look beautiful in your profile picture
cc: tunnamania11

why dont you have a profile picture? #JustAsking

jnrbayano:
You were making sense until no 2.

"Igbos" are not expensive. The bride price paid to the bride's family is returned to the man in a 9 out of 10 situation (the bride price paid in the head of each of my 3 sisters were returned)

big lie, my friend and brother got married to igbo ladies and no bride price returned..

EVILFOREST:
Women don SUFFER

MARRIAGE is now an OLYMPIC Game

Smiles! Women have always been the victim of any topic relating to marriage

Taiwo20:



why dont you have a profile picture?
#JustAsking

I would never ever upload a pic onto NL

Apart from people with registered usernames there are thousands of guests viewing every thread and profile at any one time

I don't know how people do it, that's too much exposure for me

jamex93:
kai


God bless this ryter


to crown it all old single ladies r the source of their own problems.

THEY end up with the title "aunt" /ianti:/ from kids and peeps in the neighbourhood......cos they cant be called madam or mummy or mrs. they would be offended.

@Toks2008

Why are you lamenting for them, are you by any chance unable to fit into their definition of ideal man?

Gurgle:


I would never ever upload a pic onto NL

Apart from people with registered usernames there are thousands of guests viewing every thread and profile at any one time

I don't know how people do it, that's too much exposure for me

Except you don't have pictures on any of the social media platforms then your reason for not uploading one on NL is questionable

Not that it matters though!

jaybee3:


Except you don't have pictures on any of the social media platforms then your reason for not uploading one on NL is questionable

Not that it matters though!

NL and other social media platforms operate on entirely different bases, so you cant compare them. Except if youre talking about twitter, which I also avoid

wrongnumber:


I smell a rat. Woman admiring woman.

Bro. I think say na only me see am o.

Been dey think say if na man say dat thing she go ignore with the mind that d guy get motive. Even if d guy get.

Talk about what women do dat affect their marriage chances. Se na woman she go marry ni.

May God help us.........

Gurgle:


NL and other social media platforms operate on entirely different bases, so you cant compare them. Except if youre talking about twitter, which I also avoid

You can't be completely anonymous if you have footprints on other social media....That's my point

Anyhoo, back to the topic...

Do you agree with the OP?

Hmmmmm

oleigh:
big lie, my friend and brother got married to igbo ladies and no bride price returned..

.

jaybee3:


You can't be completely anonymous if you have footprints on other social media....That's my point

Anyhoo, back to the topic...

Do you agree with the OP?

Toks2008:
Desperate for a husband


For many years i never knew how ladies in their very late 20s,early 30s and late 30s feel when it comes to the issue of settling down with a man until recently when i had the cause to really get close to many of them.

Please when next you see such ladies,help me inform them that deliverance won't solve their problems and even when we know that there are spiritual hindrance to getting a spouse,most times what we need is a re orientation of our minds,ways of life and culture.

The bottom line is that many ladies we see in churches today who tend to be looking for a husband are their own problems. So stop been desperate and work on your mindset and you will be surprised that in no time,a good man will walk into your life and marry you.

I never said you could be completely anonymous, just that I wouldn't cement my non-anonymity by uploading a picture

I am ok with most of the OPs points but some of them are too general and I have already had long arguments about some of them but anyway:

1. Yes people should cut cloth according to their size, so women shouldn't be too demanding or if they want all those wedding ceremonies they should be willing to contribute. Personally I am only interested in traditional marriage, and I would try to help fund it since I know the whole thing mostly concerns me

2. Not all Igbo ladies are naturally at risk. I hate it when people use this bride price thing against Igbos; everybody knows how decentralised Igbo people are so if you have a custom in one Igbo clan it doesn't necessarily apply to another clan. I agree that some clans are very extortionate but not all are, for example my place is not. And if you know your area is like that, or the area the lady is from will ask for a lot of things then why not prepare in advance instead of coming on here to complain

Plus, when the bride price is being negotiated, a lot of it is done by village elders who a lot of the time have never even bothered to find out how the girl was progressing all along, then when they hear she is marrying they descend on it like vultures. And the woman often has no say in a lot of the negotiations, except maybe the part of the bride-price that is paid to her father or whoever is replacing her father if he is late. So its not the woman's fault in this case

3. How many struggling men will continue with the same girl after they have made it, and not try to upgrade?

4. Whatever religion or faith you are you should try and think for yourself, especially when it comes to something as important as marriage. I don't know what kind of church OP is referring to but I guess its one of those "my pastor says this, my pastor says that" ones which I tend to think is nonsense but I may visit one of them one of these days and see if any of them has anything useful to say.

The lady he is complaining about had a belief she was trying to uphold but she could have called OP when he was still sick and explained why she didn't want to visit. Anyway OP was wrong to cut off the friendship because although she explained it late, its still a genuine reason and I think he was too proud and he overreacted. Everybody knows the temptation of seeing a guy at home, she was just trying to protect herself. If somebody scolded me for not visiting him at home I would literally never ever speak to him again. How dare he?!

5. Rough past is what it is, unfortunately. After conversing with many guys on NL I can see how important it is to keep as clean as possible, though we may slip from time to time. If there is too much in your past it becomes difficult for the man to cope with, although most of these men are the same ones going around destroying other men's future wives, so I don't know.

This is one of the things that makes me to think that the world is just as it is, not as it should be. After eating all a girl's food and probably forcing her to go through several abortions they still demand a virgin later on

6. Yeah we should all be working on being good wife material, definitely. Well we should just work on being good people, which makes us wife material by default

What do these pastors usually say and do in these deliverance sessions self. I'm thinking of visiting a pastor to see what they usually say to people. I am from a different church background and I dont think I have ever even met a pastor before. Maybe he can shed some light on me, not that im rushing to marry at the moment

What do you think about OPs points, do you agree?

oleigh:
big lie, my friend and brother got married to igbo ladies and no bride price returned..

We shouldn't act like kids here.
This ISSUE of not getting MARRIED has gone beyond BRIDE PRICE.

MOST PARENTS now are even ready to chase their daughters until they run into unmarried men houses.

I have witnessed so many traditional marriages.
Most are now LOW KEY, yet people still run out of cash.

RIGHT before me, my father in-law was offered 70k as bride price, He took the cash, prayed and returned 69,800k. During the white wedding He gave us ANYTHING u can think of except CAR.
Most came in their doubles.
Marriage was in the EAST.
So what is APPLICABLE to one man may not be APPLICABLE to u.

So. PLEASE FORGET that issue.
LADIES are now becoming left overs, which we must fight against by our Government to fix unemployment.

Toks2008:
Desperate for a husband


For many years i never knew how ladies in their very late 20s,early 30s and late 30s feel when it comes to the issue of settling down with a man until recently when i had the cause to really get close to many of them.

Yes many of them will always insist that marriage is the least of their worries but deep inside,most of them are hoping desperately to have a man to settle down with and my acquaintanceship with some of them made me decide to write this short piece hoping that when they see and read it,they will come to understand that their desperation is self inflicted and until they learn to put themselves at a vantage point,they will only hope and wish for a long time that a man comes their way.

I have witnessed many deliverance session for ladies all in the name of looking for a husband but after a close look i come to realize that they are their own problems and this is as a result of the society that have brainwashed them and rather than dealing with the problems,they end up running from from one prophet to another and from one deliverance service to another and some have become a shadow of themselves as they turn to emergency sister dressing like masquerades,going without earrings,make up and even on low cut all in the name of looking for a man.

Please when next you see such ladies,help me inform them that deliverance won't solve their problems and even when we know that there are spiritual hindrance to getting a spouse,most times what we need is a re orientation of our minds,ways of life and culture.

1.Many ladies will not say yes to a man if you are not ready to do traditional wedding,legal wedding,white wedding,blue wedding... Please tell me how easy you expect to find a man in this harsh economy.

2.As an Igbo lady,you are naturally at risk unless you drive it into your man's ear that in your own family they don't ask a man for crazy bride price otherwise you will only see men come into your life without discussing marriage and you will think its a curse from the village but its only as a result of the funny belief that Igbo ladies are expensive to marry.

3.How many ladies can start a life with a struggling man? I guess part of the prayer point during deliverance is that GOD should bring a ready made man to propose to you.Mumu

4.Funny doctrinal belief is another hindrance and many ladies who run to conservative churches in the bid to have a man end up in more bondage.I had a lady friend in her 30s who i admire so much but she goes to one of this conservative churches and there was a time i was so sick and i was expecting her to visit but she never did and when i told her i was angry,she was so quick to say she can not visit me at home and i was like FOR REAL? Even a sick guy? i even told her that she would have at least come in company of a friend and i lost interest in the friendship instantly and i wonder how she will get a good man with that mindset.

5.Rough past is another hindrance and many ladies just believe that if a man loves them the past does not matter.

6.Lack of wife qualities is another issue and i wonder how a lady who does not have the required quality to be a mrs to a man will be desperate fore a man because even if any man comes,he will eventually leave you until you work on yourself.

The bottom line is that many ladies we see in churches today who tend to be looking for a husband are their own problems. So stop been desperate and work on your mindset and you will be surprised that in no time,a good man will walk into your life and marry you.

That's when u have the mindset that marriage is the ultimate. Everyone must not marry.

jaybee3:
@Toks2008

Why are you lamenting for them, are you by any chance unable to fit into their definition of ideal man?

Abi oh! Typical case of crying more than the bereaved.

jnrbayano:
You were making sense until no 2.

"Igbos" are not expensive. The bride price paid to the bride's family is returned to the man in a 9 out of 10 situation (the bride price paid in the head of each of my 3 sisters were returned)

We have this general belief that they are expensive. I think it's either your inlaws are rich or they stay somewhere in the Southwest.

oleigh:
big lie, my friend and brother got married to igbo ladies and no bride price returned..

What happened in my family cant be lie like I reported it and I am Igbo.

You don't stand a chance if we are to count instances where my position holds sway.

The Op tried to paint every igbo brides family as money-grabbers (that's what I can make of No 2 point) of which the onus is on me to correct that false notion (stereotype)

Those gluttons are of infinitesimal size and I say this authoritatively.

My Igbo ladies deserve some respect.