I am 31 and my girfriend is 36. We have been dating for a little more than a year now and we just found out that we are pregnant. She would like to get married but I do not. How do I tell her? I would like the best for her and the baby especially during the pregnancy. She has been extremely emotional lately and cries a lot. I know that she loves me and I care about her but I am not in love with her. I know that she will be a great mother to our child and I know that I will be a great dad too, but I just dont think that I can be the kind of husband that this girl deserves. Please give me your advice on how to handle this very complicated situation. Confused31

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u can date and Bleep her but cannot marry her, na wah 4 people oooooo

Why are men so callous !!! you av bin sleepin with a 36yrs old woman n you know fully well u dont wanna spend the rest of your life with her .I wont really blame you bt i blame the lady for nt seein the hand writin on the wall.I will advice u to call her and beg for her forgiveness otherwise,you r cursed.Where do u expect a 36yrs woman to start from,you are simply wicked.

when you were sleeping with her, why didnt you remember you didnt love her?

To the point of unprotected sex?

DeReloaded:

when you were sleeping with her, why didnt you remember you didnt love her?

To the point of unprotected sex?

am with you, no mid the guy

Wow, another sad story, she gets the baby and not her man!!!

Men and their stupid excuses "but I just dont think that I can be the kind of husband that this girl deserves" when you started dating and were f*cking her u never realized that u weren't the man for her or were u stupid to think you could just use her, get her pregnant, dump her for another woman. you better recognized what you have done, and why date a person for more than a year and then admit that u never really love her in the first place, how stupid do u men think we women are, we are not some toy to be bleeped with.

you better man up to ur responsibilities and stop bitching, cuz ur eyes were open when u first met her.

So u were thinking with ur other Head.being a man doesn't entail sexual prowness or capability it's taking responsibilities.we won't advise u.imho i think u r a disgrace to manhood and we Condom users.@ima that's my line "man up and quit bitching"

@poster,thats very very wicked of u,how can u be datin a woman of 36yrs for over a year wit no intention of marryin her,u want God to punish u n u remain confused for d rest of ur life.Some people are just too cynical,thinkin only about themselves without considering other peoples feelings.If that lady was ur sister,how would u have felt?So u better be careful n reason like men do,n not like hen do

Man, what do you think a 36 year old wants in a relationship? Casual fling?please grow up and take responsibility for your actions, its just aint fair for you to get a woman pregnant and bolt. Come to think of it, you said you know she will be a great mother, what else do you want?

Poster i think you just confused for the fear of caring for a woman and a baby but i tell you,when the baby comes good things will follow too.A 36 year old you have been dating for over a year needs nothing more from you now but marriage.Go ahead and propose to her,the love you think you don't have for her now because of fear will come so glaringly after you two settle down.Please make your marriage plans and get back to me.you already said you know she will be a good mother meaning you believe she is responsible to an extent.So go ahead and make your self happy.There is really nothing to be confused about

In as much as i agree that confused31 shud grow up and take responsibility,it beats my imagination
that in this century most women still do things the old ways.

If a guy wants to have fun,he gets a CD,if by mistake the CD burst and d stuff goes inside,he combs
his neighourhood even in the middle of the nite for pills for the woman to take.
Assuming the guy did nt make these precau-moves,its just naturally possible dat the woman
will sit there,relax and enjoy the moment without caring what result beckons 28days after.

If a woman dont really want an unwanted pregnancy,what is wrong is going out with a CD?

Without sounding too judgemental,confused31 admits that he feels his 36yr old woman deserves
a better husband,but in this case,if u ask me,d woman deserves whatever treatment dats gona
be meted out on her.We cant fast forward the clock of marriage with pregnancy.
Ur man does not act with precaution is no excuse for u to do same.

Lame!

and I still think the age doesn't really matter

Kx:



. . . Without sounding too judgemental,confused31 admits that he feels his 36yr old woman deserves
a better husband,but in this case,if u ask me,d woman deserves whatever treatment dats gona
be meted out on her.We cant fast forward the clock of marriage with pregnancy.
Ur man does not act with precaution is no excuse for u to do same.

I would love to subscribe to this level of reasoning too, but it really depends on what lies ^{if any} the OP has been feeding the lady regarding their future together.

Ben20001:

and I still think the age doesn't really matter

spikedcylinder:

A lot of people seem to be putting emphasis on her age. . . .

She is at that age people are perceived to have been left out on the shelf.

What are you. . .  some kind of jerk, Do you take delight in using people? You impregnated a girl when you know fully well that you’re not ready to marry her.

I would advice you to take full responsibility of your actions and stop acting like an irresponsible person.

amosexy:

Why are men so callous !!! you av bin sleepin with a 36yrs old woman n you know fully well u dont wanna spend the rest of your life with her .I wont really blame you bt i blame the lady for nt seein the hand writin on the wall.I will advice u to call her and beg for her forgiveness otherwise,you r cursed.Where do u expect a 36yrs woman to start from,you are simply wicked.

i tire oooo, stupid talk

guy just tell her you aint interested simple. tell her she has lanor and you still have a bright future ahead of yoy. simple she will understand and walk out of your life.

....

ask yourself if your ready for a babymama , if not then make it official, i believe if u open your hart to love anyone you can,

if at 36 a woman has no stable man in her life , i hope she will ever have becos she don turn old cargo ooo. MY guy if i be the woman wey u get pregnant ,mo ma ti owo bodi se epe fu e ni.

@poster
no comment

y are guys just like this??y would you date a girl FOR MORE THAN 1 WHOLE YEAR if you know u dont plan to marry her.Whick kain brain u get?Now she's pregnant and u want to run, What kind of father do you want to be?You want to have a child raised by a single mother?_{cos i obviously wont advise her going for an abortion}

Please wake up to your responsibility and do what is right.Marry the babe.You'll see its notas bad a situation as it is.Cos if you leave her at this time when she really needs you, like yiu said, the girl doesnt deserve a man like u, neither will any girl deserve u.

Hey Dude,

What advise do you precisely need here? You have done a foolish thing by getting her pregnant in the first place.

You were enjoying the unprotected sex cos you did not want to use a CD, but you do not want to take the

responsibility of what comes with it. Karma is a bitch yea and you have to be very careful how you treat people, else

you will reap the consequence of your action in full.

Why are people crucifying the poster

This woman is 36 not some impressionable 18 year old who doesn't know her right from her left.

He can be blamed if he has led her to believe he wants to marry her and that is not the case. Unless it was declaration of love that led to sex, I don't see why he should be crucified for having sex with someone he doesn't love. As far as I know, love is not a pre-requisite for sex for many people.

To those telling him to 'man up', it takes a man to admit he doesn't love this woman, when it would be convenient to marry her and just let things roll. He has said he is ready to support her and give her the best care during the pregnancy and do his duty regarding the child. The only problem is that he doesn't love her.

@ OP

Did you tell her you didn't want to get married? Does she know you don't love her? Did you have heart to heart discussions about these matters?

I personally will blame the woman for not protecting herself. At 36, you should know the score and not just get pregnant by accident with a 'boyfriend'. That is past though and the deed is done.

Sit her down and have a heart to heart talk. Chances are that she will hate you for doing so, but I would rather have that done now and settled before the child comes than entering into a loveless marriage doomed to fail.

@ poster, First of all, that was simply irresponsibility on ur part, not to mention callousness, and arrogance. You must know that this lady, whom u have been seeing for over a year would definately be in it for more than "boyfriend,girlfriend", and now you are trying to push everything off yourself by saying "she deserves better than you" and in so doing, you seem to be trying to make yourself out to be the one looking out for her feelings, when in actual fact it seems like you're just looking for an easy way out. That being said, I would not advise you to marry a woman you don't love, which may result in you resenting her later on. You need to come clean, at the same time, if you are a real man, you must take care of your child, as well as expect this lady to be angry at you, and yoou owe her your patience, and care. You have done a very wicked thing in wasting her time, but you can both move on. We can all give advice, but the choice is yours on what to do. Pray about it, come clean, apologise, and be there through the process. And remember that you cannot afford any longer to live irresponsibly.

U dated,f**ked and pregnanted a 36 year old lady, you want to dump her and the best excuse you can come up with is "I just dont think that I can be the kind of husband that this girl deserves"!!
I mean,just listen to ur excuse for being wicked. If you culd even come up with a better excuse we might term it something else but this?
I've seen wickedness but damn,this is WICKEDNESS with a little touch of stupidity.And to imagine this is ur first post gets me thinking!

Now u see why some women behave like lunatics. how do u expect her to react? Seriously!!!! Maybe u should try putting one of your sisters in her potion and think of the outcome you'd EXPECT!

Your not confused, u think u can keep searching, it's sad! Do whats fair to her, and suffer yourself, it's a small price to pay for all she's given and is about to give. After all, there is vasectomy, u cud have chosen that option!

@poster
u r very wicked SOUL. . . .ah ahn