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Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child - Family (40) - Nairaland

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Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Nobody: 3:19am On Jan 18, 2013
Seriously, mini version of you lol
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by chamotex(m): 6:35am On Jan 18, 2013
Ileke-IdI:

No be you? Oloshi

Me? Msrry you?
Lai lai...Dayokanu is there
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 8:23am On Jan 18, 2013
Ileke-IdI:


Tgirl, your baby is cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

She looks like the mini version of you lol.

I be pikin na. Pikin no dey my agenda till I marry rich papa grin


Thanks. People that know the dad and don't know thinks she looks more like the dad.

Lol @ rich papa. grin

@Chamo : grin grin grin
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by jchick(f): 2:05pm On Jan 20, 2013
Please guys, I need your opinion on this one. My 2yr8mth daughter just started this withdrawal attitude. She hides in corners for long period of time and it worries me.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 1:11pm On Jan 22, 2013
Jchick,

Sorry d response is coming late. U may need to explain further. Let us know what happens b4 she withdraws. Is it after scolding her or when she sees a particular person?
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by jchick(f): 9:55pm On Jan 22, 2013
I noticed it first after insisting she did something, scolding her in the process. Didn't think much of it until recently when she just withdraws from everyone to hide and play alone in a corner...not sure if its something to worry about.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 8:14am On Jan 23, 2013
What did u ask her to do and how did u scold her?

Has she started school?

How does she relate with her peers in school?

When does she normally withdraw?

Actually, a child can be on her own to play for a while, but it's usually for a short period b4 she realises she is alone and goes to look for mummy or someone.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by jchick(f): 9:37am On Jan 30, 2013
^^^Sorry about my late response.

She hasn't started school as she is home schooled although she has friends around the house with whom she relates pretty well.

I guess its just one of those idiocyncracies kids her age exhibit.

Thanks a lot T-girl for your response.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 7:58am On Jan 31, 2013
No probs J-chick. I see it's no longer a worry.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by jchick(f): 9:46am On Jan 31, 2013
No its not. Thanks once again.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by menme: 9:01am On Feb 04, 2013
Please does anyone have a similar experience with a child that is s smileylow to write in school due to indecision regarding which hand to use?my child is 2yrs and 9 months.Is this still normal?
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by AjanleKoko: 9:08am On Feb 04, 2013
me' n 'me:
Please does anyone have a similar experience with a child that is s smileylow to write in school due to indecision regarding which hand to use?my child is 2yrs and 9 months.Is this still normal?

2 years 9 months?

Your kid is too young to write anything jare.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by menme: 9:20am On Feb 04, 2013
smileyok,thank you.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 10:58am On Feb 04, 2013
AjanleKoko:

2 years 9 months?

Your kid is too young to write anything jare.

Lol.

Just let her use the hand she is comfy with.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 3:11am On Feb 13, 2013
Interesting article

Do You Have a Favorite Kid? You Should Read This

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/do-you-have-a-favorite-kid--you-should-read-this-185020308.html
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 8:37am On Feb 13, 2013
Hmmmm...
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by zayhal(f): 9:55am On Feb 13, 2013
~Sissy~:
Interesting article

Do You Have a Favorite Kid? You Should Read This

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/do-you-have-a-favorite-kid--you-should-read-this-185020308.html



IMO these kinds of mentality are more common with kids in the west and rarely affect Nigerian kids. I don't think a favourite kid thing poses much problem to Nigerian families. What I'm familiar with is that even the other kids in the family tease the favourite one with 'omo daddy' 'omo mummy' with no hard feelings. It is the favourite kid that stands the risk of becoming a spoilt.

But then, moderation is the key. At times, loving one child more than the others can't be helped but the parents must do it moderately and not make the others feel less important.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 2:49pm On Feb 13, 2013
zayhal:

IMO these kinds of mentality are more common with kids in the west and rarely affect Nigerian kids. I don't think a favourite kid thing poses much problem to Nigerian families. What I'm familiar with is that even the other kids in the family tease the favourite one with 'omo daddy' 'omo mummy' with no hard feelings. It is the favourite kid that stands the risk of becoming a spoilt.

But then, moderation is the key. At times, loving one child more than the others can't be helped but the parents must do it moderately and not make the others feel less important.

I agree.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 2:06am On Feb 22, 2013
~Sissy~:
Interesting article

Do You Have a Favorite Kid? You Should Read This

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/do-you-have-a-favorite-kid--you-should-read-this-185020308.html


Humanly speaking, i dont think there is anything wrong in having a favorite child, im sure if all parents could admit it, they have at least one of their child they like more/most with differing reasons. however, some parents over do it to the detrimental of the other child/children. and thats where the problem is
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by chamotex(m): 2:24am On Feb 22, 2013
smiley smiley
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 9:08am On Feb 22, 2013
Are u seeking attention now? Are u? After u absconded on val's day. angry
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 12:37pm On Feb 22, 2013
My sweet Ileke-idi, sorry I missed ur birthday. I was tied up in a training yesterday.

I wish a happy belated birthday. I wish you good health, abundance and a sound mind.

Love you dear. #hugs# kiss kiss

Please send ma cake. wink
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 9:01pm On Feb 22, 2013
happy belated birthday babe kiss

[b]Champie [/b]how far kiss kiss
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 5:11pm On Feb 23, 2013
Sissy, I know say na u Chamo find come. tongue
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 5:40am On Feb 24, 2013
hehehe. I came for all o.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by kay9(m): 7:02am On Mar 09, 2013
~Sissy~:


Humanly speaking, i dont think there is anything wrong in having a favorite child...

Dunno if this topic's been done and dusted, but it struck a chord with me...
-
Trust me, there's everything wrong with having a favorite child. I dunno how i knew it, but i know my mum always prefered my immediate younger brother to me; Bossman on the other hand never hid the fact that he loved me more than he did my brother.

To be fair to mum, she really couldn't help it - i was always withdrawn and carried my hurt with me, while my brother was outspoken and always wanted her help/support in almost everything. To make matters worse, my brother was really stiff-headed and always getting on dad's bad side - daddy was really strict. Unfortunately i was the first son and effortlessly took up the role of ''exemplary first son'', and often made my brother look really bad. We had an aunt that stayed with us for quite long, and my brother made it his God-given directive to straighten her something good whenever she so much as blinked at mum... And mum soaked it up.

So, the result: i was daddy's boy, and rarely needed mum's protection. Bros was the counter point, and thus symbol of mummy's love. To this day, my brother still believes our dad hates him; and it was only recently - after i got a job and started helping out with my younger ones' school fees and all - only recently did i start being close to my mum. I once asked my brother why he was always making dad angry; his reply shocked me: he said i should forget it, that nothing he does will ever please Bossman.

Ok, enough family history. smiley

My point is, know your kids - the one(s) who seem to prefer being left alone still want to be noticed once in a while. and no matter how angry your kid makes u, always make out time to have ''heart-to-heart'' talks with them. Parent-child talks may be your best way of showing your kid that your scolds/spanking aren't cos u hate him/her.
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by AjanleKoko: 8:24am On Mar 09, 2013
^^
Fav child syndrome is borne out of having too freaking many kids in the first place angry embarassed

Just have one or two max, and they can all be your favourite cool
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 11:22am On Mar 09, 2013
Lol

I have always been d favourite of both my mum n dad, so, was never on the receiving end up until recently. I was a loving child, bright and very compassionate. I remember how I will save up any money I get from aunts n uncles for coming out well in best and give all to mum whenever she says she is broke. Lol. She loved me for that. cheesy

Now, mum n I don't see eye ball to eye ball. We fight a lot cos I don't share her opinion on so many things. To her, I'm too laid back n carefree. She wants me to worry all d time. So, I would say she prefers my younger sister over me, which hurt me at d early stage of realisation but not anymore.

Dad on the otherhand gets along well with me and infact he doesn't hesitate to say I'm his favourite. Mum thinks I support dad all d time. Whereas, I am always objective in their matter.

I don taya jare. Family n favourites. cool
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Sissy3(f): 8:24pm On Mar 09, 2013
kay9,

your case was definitely detrimental.

@post
I know many will argue that parents should love all their children equally etc, but that's ideally in most cases. The reality is, where is there's 3 or more children, favoritism is more than likely bound to happen secretly or overtly. It is just human tendency. If you have a child who listens to you more, obeys you, who does well in school and makes you proud, who reminds of yourself in so many positive ways etc of course, the normal tendency is to gravitate more towards them etc. Many parents feel ashamed to admit it and some just outrightly deny it because your love is suppose to shared but it is there.

The main question is how far do you go with it? or should you even express it outwardly?


AjanleKoko: ^^
Fav child syndrome is borne out of having too freaking many kids in the first place angry embarassed

[b]Just have one or two max, and they can all be your favourite [/b]cool

LOL
Re: Parental Guide: Bringing Up A Child by Tgirl4real(f): 10:18pm On Mar 09, 2013
It shouldn't be expressed Sissy. It is when it's expressed that it becomes detrimental. It can even lead to sibling rivalry.

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