bukatyne:


Babes,

Christians are the worst examples of submission

If you are married to the right person and spent your courtship well, there will be little things he will want that will not sit well with you. It is now left for you both to discuss/negotiate/sacrifice and see what's best for all.

Lol, I will tell your brethren in the lord.

The above is not submission, that's trying to reach a compromise.

bukatyne:




And why do you want to run a man/ be in control?

Not be in control per se but be in sync with your spouse. Not like you turn him into a zombie. The same way we understand our parents so well and know what to do when we are broke in school. You know the right button to press. Doesn't mean you are in control.

Caracta:






I agree. There is a way you can 'run' a man and he wouldn't even know what you are doing to him. Women always underestimate the power they have.

I tell you. That is why you will see a certified player change his ways within some weeks because he started dating a particular girl.

@freecocoa, are you saying each time we say NO, we are not being submissive?

freecocoa:
Lol, I will tell your brethren in the lord.

The above is not submission, that's trying to reach a compromise.

love
lʌv/Submit
noun
1.
a strong feeling of affection.
"babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"
synonyms: deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment; More
2.
a great interest and pleasure in something.
"his love for football"
synonyms: liking, weakness, partiality, bent, leaning, proclivity, inclination, disposition; More

This is the dictionary definition of love yet this is not the Biblical meaning of love

Don't tell

Richiy:


But many ladies don't know this. In their bid to be "equal" and not sidelined, they get it wrong. Respect a man and he will get the whole world for you.

it beats me o.sha they are 'sophisticated women'!

Lolz bukatyne and submission

I'm sorry I don't know what to say.

This is one topic that no one discusses in their homes except on nairaland and maybe in church on wedding days. Trust those pastors.

Well my DH he doesn't like me meek. My fiestiness is a plus. Anything I don't like, I don't like it. We have to find a way to work around it, not make me do it because I must submit. Of course I compromise a lot too. So does he.

Freecocoa said that's not submission as long we still both have our free wills unlike the true definition of submission which I think no one really practices and she disagrees. Werin I wan talk again?

Case dismiss.

bukatyne:


love
lʌv/Submit
noun
1.
a strong feeling of affection.
"babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"
synonyms: deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment; More
2.
a great interest and pleasure in something.
"his love for football"
synonyms: liking, weakness, partiality, bent, leaning, proclivity, inclination, disposition; More

This is the dictionary definition of love yet this is not the Biblical meaning of love

Don't tell

You know what I think about the bible, with obvious reasons ofcourse.

How does the bible define love?

Caracta:
@freecocoa, are you saying each time we say NO, we are not being submissive?

Yes.

bukatyne:




And why do you want to run a man/ be in control?

I'm sorry girls, chidoks and caracta, I've to re-ask this question. Why do you want to be in control?

That doesn't sound right to my ears. No offense.

cococandy:
Lola bukatyne and submission

I'm sorry I don't know what to say.

This is one topic that no one discusses in their homes except on nairaland and maybe in church on wedding days. Trust those pastors.

Well my DH he doesn't like me meek. My fiestiness is a plus. Anything I don't like, I don't like it. We have to find a way to work around it, not make me do it because I must submit. Of course I compromise a lot too. So does he.

Freecocoa said that's not submission as long we still both have our free wills unlike the true definition of submission which I think no one really practices and she disagrees. Werin I wan talk again?

Case dismiss.

The point I'm trying to make is that, to submit to anyone, you have to see that person as a superior or authority figure, just like the bible said.

Master-slave
Husband-wife
Father-children


Boss-subordinate.

Richiy:


But many ladies don't know this. In their bid to be "equal" and not sidelined, they get it wrong. Respect a man and he will get the whole world for you.

What do you understand by being equal?

Caracta:


Not be in control per se but be in sync with your spouse. Not like you turn him into a zombie. The same way we understand our parents so well and know what to do when we are broke in school. You know the right button to press. Doesn't mean you are in control.

Don't you think that in a loving relationship, a man also knows the 'buttons' to press to get his wife to agree with him? Or see his POV?

cococandy:


I'm sorry girls, chidoks and caracta, I've to re-ask this question. Why do you want to be in control?

That doesn't sound right to my ears. No offense.

I don't think they mean it the way you understood it.

I'd like to think every woman wants a man that listens to her and I mean, really listens to her, vice versa.

She'd just like to know her opinion is very important and will be considered.

Chidoks:


it beats me o.sha they are 'sophisticated women'!

Dear,

This thread is actually for the 'sophisticated' women.

No offense

bukatyne:




And why do you want to run a man/ be in control?

The aim is not to control / run the man.the aim of respecting him is to have a crisis free home but the resultant effect us that the man us softened by your humility and resoect.he ib turn feel to give back.he gives back by doing the things you wish/ ask.

freecocoa:
You know what I think about the bible, with obvious reasons ofcourse.

How does the bible define love?

Ewoo, I am mobile

Let me see

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=KJV

Charity is Love

cococandy:
Lola bukatyne and submission

I'm sorry I don't know what to say.

This is one topic that no one discusses in their homes except on nairaland and maybe in church on wedding days. Trust those pastors.

Well my DH he doesn't like me meek. My fiestiness is a plus. Anything I don't like, I don't like it. We have to find a way to work around it, not make me do it because I must submit. Of course I compromise a lot too. So does he.

Freecocoa said that's not submission as long we still both have our free wills unlike the true definition of submission which I think no one really practices and she disagrees. Werin I wan talk again?

Case dismiss.

Na real me and submission

I just noticed the theme and wanted a thread to address it joor.

Fiesty mama

Chidoks:


The aim is not to control / run the man.the aim of respecting him is to have a crisis free home but the resultant effect us that the man us softened by your humility and resoect.he ib turn feel to give back.he gives back by doing the things you wish/ ask.

Hmmmmm

bukatyne:


What do you understand by being equal?

I put the equal in parenthesis to indicate that it should not be taken literally.

freecocoa:
I don't think they mean it the way you understood it.

I'd like to think every woman wants a man that listens to her and I mean, really listens to her, vice versa.

She'd just like to know her opinion is very important and will be considered.

Well I'd have loved to hear them kind of explain that part themselves.

Chidoks I don't know but caracta I've known a while and her opinions on issues are usually on point. So let me not start misunderstanding her now.

Richiy:


I put the equal in parenthesis to indicate that it should not be taken literally.

Sorry missed that.

I am translating that to rude and rancorous...

I agree with you

Got ya

freecocoa:
The point I'm trying to make is that, to submit to anyone, you have to see that person as a superior or authority figure, just like the bible said.

Master-slave
Husband-wife
Father-children


Boss-subordinate.

bukatyne:


Na real me and submission

I just noticed the theme and wanted a thread to address it joor.

Fiesty mama

Ok carry on.

That's racism thing on the girls thread is proving quite an interesting read.

I'll be back

bukatyne:


Ewoo, I am mobile

Let me see

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=KJV

Charity is Love

Don't you just love the bible.

For you to be charitable, you have to have love in you, no?

Biko charity is an act of love ni.

bukatyne:


Don't you think that in a loving relationship, a man also knows the 'buttons' to press to get his wife to agree with him? Or see his POV?

Exactly. And it turns out well for the two.

cococandy:


Well I'd have loved to hear them kind of explain that part themselves.

Chidoks I don't know but caracta I've known a while and her opinions on issues are usually on point. So let me not start misunderstanding her now.

Ok, I just chipped in because I can relate and know that many women say that a lot, and of a truth, a man in love with a woman, often paints the picture of the woman being in control because he is willing to do things for her.

P.S I'm referring to normal and reasonable people in love o.

cococandy:


Well I'd have loved to hear them kind of explain that part themselves.

Chidoks I don't know but caracta I've known a while and her opinions on issues are usually on point. So let me not start misunderstanding her now.

Freecocoa got me right. Not like you turn him into a zombie but understanding his buttons well.

cocacandy, the thing is this.when you go all out to sincerely respect a man, he grows soft towards you.he tends to listen to you because you respect him.
Every man that is worth it sees himself as the boss, the captain of the ship called marriage.he had his ego.all you berd do is to massage his ego by respecting him.not necessarily being a fool but meekness that would reach out to his soul and soften the hardest part of him.once you get to that point, that man would have the urge to give back.
Now the only way he can give back is not to respect you.no.it's by seeking to please you.he shows it by doing things that will make you happy.he will do things he wouldn't have naturally done just to please you; things you may or not have asked for.
at this point if you stop he stops but if you continue you lead him on and this man will provide, protect, abd defend you with all he's got.
On the other hand if you show him that you are equal, competition starts.he will be compelled to maintain his top position which manufests in wickedness, rejecttion, and beating

freecocoa:
Don't you just love the bible.

For you to be charitable, you have to have love in you, no?

Biko charity is an act of love ni.

I meant Charity means love. That's the KJV version

How Chaste means virgin, know means sex, conceive means get pregnant, maid means young girl etc.

freecocoa:
Ok, I just chipped in because I can relate and know that many women say that a lot, and of a truth, a man in love with a woman, often paints the picture of the woman being in control because he is willing to do things for her.

P.S I'm referring to normal and reasonable people in love o.

True. I can personally relate to the picture of the woman being in control as seen by the outsiders who don't know what's going on in the house themselves. Just because the man is truly in love with her. Some will even say you're using juju on the man. Rotfl

I only question the use of such words as 'control' by the woman herself. But I've read their explanations to what they mean. It all makes sense.

Tut tut

I agree and disagree with some of your points. I do think I get what you're saying and agree with the implied meaning so no need trying to argue with every point just because of the way you put it.

You know stuff like not every man will see himself as the boss and expect you to continually massage his ego. Some will like you to show that you know your worth not just a doormat. While some will exploit that. You forget we are talking about human beings here. All can't be the same. Things like that.

But otherwise I think I got ya.

Chidoks:
cocacandy, the thing is this.when you go all out to sincerely respect a man, he grows soft towards you.he tends to listen to you because you respect him.
Every man that is worth it sees himself as the boss, the captain of the ship called marriage.he had his ego.all you berd do is to massage his ego by respecting him.not necessarily being a fool but meekness that would reach out to his soul and soften the hardest part of him.once you get to that point, that man would have the urge to give back.
Now the only way he can give back is not to respect you.no.it's by seeking to please you.he shows it by doing things that will make you happy.he will do things he wouldn't have naturally done just to please you; things you may or not have asked for.
at this point if you stop he stops but if you continue you lead him on and this man will provide, protect, abd defend you with all he's got.
On the other hand if you show him that you are equal, competition starts.he will be compelled to maintain his top position which manufests in wickedness, rejecttion, and beating