My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me - Family (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Epiphany(m): 12:18pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
As far as i am concerned, under no circumstance in this world, should a man lay a finger on his wife. That is not acceptable. I dont care whether he is or was going through a tough patch or whether he lost his job - he should never, NEVER slap you, his wife, regardless of what you do. Once a man slaps or lays a finger on his wife and there are no repercussions, HE WILL CONTINUE TO DO IT. Prepare yourself for more beatings - if you dont stand your ground now. I would advice you to STOP apologizing to him (since you have already done so) and do what you can to maintain and take care of yourself an honest way. Start praying about it (if you are a prayerful person) and ignore him. If there is a little food in the house, feed him. Clean the house, make the beds etc etc - continue doing your wifely duties for as long as you can. If money finish for house and there is no food, THEN THERE IS NO FOOD UNTIL HE GIVES YOU MONEY! Haba! To be a woman does not mean that you should be a slave or that you should be foolish. If na oyibo land here, that man for dey cell by now - and will still be forced by law, to take care of you and the baby! I am a man and can never even verbally insult my wife, talkless of beating her. If i have a sister that any man touches, God help me, i fit kill that guy o. I dont care if they are married or not. 1 Like |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by PurestBoy(m): 12:25pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
@poster, I'm deeply sorry for your state but I think you're very STUPID for thinking of killing the innocent baby that has nothing to do with the conflict. Don't you think you're more than stupid for thinking of abortion? |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Nobody: 12:27pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Damn right Epiphany , once he hits you once it aint gonna stop, most women in a abusive relationship let it slide the 1st time and thats why it continues. Just cuz you married dont mean you a slave, yeah respect and be humble to ur man, however he sure does need to do the same too. You guys are a team 1 Like |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by vanitty: 12:27pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Epiphany: seconded . . .totally I can't believe some people are saying she should apologise. The man slapped her twice and she should apologise? I am not one to advocate divorce so i suppose prayers is the best advice i can give you Take care of yourself |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Iranoladun(f): 12:27pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Cutting the head off is not a solution to headache! You're thinking of terminating the pregnancy and quitting the marriage all because of this one-off incident?  Except you have other strong reasons for wanting out. I'd suggest you apologised and start talking to your husband. Good marriage requires work from both husband and wife. If your husband is wrong you may be heading for the rocks if you are also trying to prove that you are right. Sometimes in a marriage you may have to apologize/make the first move even when you are right  |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by kanayo74(m): 12:29pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
the queations i have for are> i) how did u tell him that? ii) what were the kind of words u used on him while u were quarelling him after he slapped u. iii) is he responsible for the pregnancy? iv) do u value your marriage? v)are u matured enough to marry, am not saying age wise but HEART WISE? my response to you are that u should stay in the marriage apologise to him dont terminate the pregnancy cos u are the one that will go through all the apins. love him more, and see what will happen. reduce your verbal uterances cos thats your major problem |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by spikedcylinder: 12:31pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
It usually starts with slaps. . . . . Heck, if you are honest with yourself, he might have started with playful pushing then pinching then biting then kicking. . . . however the order goes.  |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by sholasys: 12:31pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
@ Epiphany. Your calculus of moral faculty of thinking is low. Indeed You lack cultural acumen. Your type cannot make a home. Are you Oyibo. Idiot. U fit count how many divource and collapes marriage in that Oyibo land. Ode |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by hanen(f): 12:38pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Epiphany: Thank you!! I was appalled that people were telling her to apologise. No wonder domestic abuse in this country is so high. Why should a man slap his pregnant wife? For asking a question? What is wrong with you people? Are you all barbarians? There is no justification, whatsoever. A man should never hit his wife. I don't care what she says. She's an adult just like him, and if he doesn't agree with something she said there are better ways to to express his anger. What everyone here is saying is that this woman should spend the rest of her life living in fear that the next thing she says might provoke him to turn her into a punching bag, and none of you are ashamed of yourselves. The man too, is extremmely immature, if his next best reaction is to ignore her for days on end. to the OP, I honestly don't know what advice to give you. But please dont terminate your pregnancy because your husband is an ass. In terms of leaving him, that's really up to you, but I should tell you, if a man can hit you once. He WILL do it again. And each time he does, it will get worse. Ive seen it too many times, the man will apologize like he's changed and then he will do it again. You should ask yourself now if you want to raise your child in an abusive home. Domestic violence is a form of control. And he's doing it already. Already, he's gotten you worrying and scared, even though he's at fault. Please stop apologizing to this man. And keep your baby. 1 Like |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Nobody: 12:40pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
My dear ,i think both u n ur hubby are over reacting!I want to believe that if u put it mildly to ur hubby to have his bath prolly he wld'nt have reacted d way he did or have u 4gotten men are babies n shld b treated as such.Again ,yes eventhough he knew quite well u were preggy n still slapped u does'nt go down well which i know is d aspect that pains u most but that still does not make him a monster. Remember u said he was once a loving guy .I want u to show him more maturity & d true beauty of womanhood by apologising to him first. Secondly,you mentioned dt yr hubby is selfish in bed n is only interested in satisfying his feelings without caring about urs;if this is true then u really need to lovingly talk to him abt it but please in his very good mood i'm sure no man wld desire his unsatisfied wife going outside to look for what is at home.Teach him how to love u and also ask him how u can love him better as u may b falling below his own expectation aswell. In final analysis ,i think u need to work on ur temper ,also remember d grass is not greener on d other side. PEACE! |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Nobody: 12:46pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Am I the only one noticing that the guy’s a jerk? I mean what justification do you have for hitting a woman? And a pregnant one at that? Even if she was wrong, one would have expected the man to act like a man and ignore her. Why slap her? @Poster . . You husband was wrong to slap you; there’s no doubting that fact. But you considering terminating your pregnancy and divorcing is just not right. It’s obvious that your courtship was not properly done. There are some basic things you should discuss as a couple before you get married and there are something you should be able to handle and not handle. I think the harm has already being done . . You’ve married a jerk!! You have to start working on your marriage. Become extra patient. Become close to God!! Pray for him!! You have rough marriage ahead of you and the only help you need is God’s. I believe you can make him the man you want him to be. Goodluck!! |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by spikedcylinder: 12:48pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
sholasys: No, YOUR moral faculty is non existent. So because a woman is so scared for the "collapse" of her marriage, she should bear living in a boxing ring literally everyday of her life?  You are the ode. |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by spikedcylinder: 12:50pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Its funny how you people are quick to tell a married woman to "be patient", "be prayerful" "leave all to God" and all that YADA YADA. Does this apply to the wife beating men as well? I mean, the impossible task of patience and respect? 1 Like |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by hanen(f): 12:54pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
sholasys: Considering how many unnecessary insults and unproven points you used in your post, I will have to say that it is YOU who has a low thinking faculty. 1 Like |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Nobody: 12:57pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
He 100% does, people who come into a thread, insult without no good reason |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Maykelly(f): 1:04pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
slap him back may be he will start talking to you  |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Nobody: 1:18pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
spikedcylinder: It starts applying to all kinds of men the moment you say 'for better for worse . . till death do you part'!! Yes it appers impossible to respect a man who hits you, but thats where the prayers come in. Marriage is never easy, as a matter of fact, nothing is. Running at the first hint of trouble is betraying the oath you took before God and man on your wedding day. |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by honeric01(m): 1:21pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
What are the horrible words you told him? Does he have this attitude of slapping or beating women before you got married? |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Fhemmmy: 1:22pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Inasmuch the man has no reason to have slapped you. You have to watch what you say too when you are angry, words could bring the worse out of a man or even woman, like you said, while you angry cos he wont take his shower, you said some horrible things that you wouldnt have said. Play the smarter one, go to him and apologize for the words u claim you said, and that you shouldn't have said. However, remind him of the promise that "he will never lay his hands on you" tell him that what happened is not enuf for him not to eat and touch his wife, tell him how you chose him out of all the men that were available, and tell him, you both need to act better next time. Next time, when he refuse to take his shower, and you really want him to do so, tell him, you would like to make love in the shower, so you both wins, he shower, and you get laid too, i think that is a win-win situation. But walking out wont be an answer, you both need to find a way to make it work, do your best and be a good wife and he will be as well. Good luck |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by sunshinemi: 1:24pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
dellynash: you sound to me like a woman that has a bad mouth and a caustic tongue are you trying to insinuate that your husband stinks and he has a body odour am very sure that must have been the way you sounded indirectly by asking him why he should sleep without taking his bath which man will accept that for example, rather than saying bluntly that my husband should go shower , you can say it in a funny way that will make him laugh. i suggest you go and apologise to him speak to him politely if you know you cant, then ignore whatever he is doing. if he feels all sticky in bed, then simple, dont cuddle next to him in bed ratheher than asking him why he should sleep without taking hius bath. is he a 10years old boy? when he accets your apology and things are calmer between you two, call him , and cry and tell him that he really hurt you by guiving you those slaps and that will be the perfect opportunity to tell him that you wants to return to the way they are and that you miss him calling you ''honey'' |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by minniepoe(f): 1:27pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
@Poster, Hmm, i know its not a good thing that you were slapped by your husband. I would say he did a very wrong thing by laying his hands on you. Even though you are not pregnant, he shouldnt have slapped you. If you want to have a happy marriage, i would say forgive him and talk to him. You can call him to order by talking to him pleasantly. Two wrongs you know can never make a right. Please dont terminate the pregnancy. I think in a marriage, you cannot change your partner but if you change your own ways by working on your imperfections, your husband can change as well. I am not saying in this situation he was right or you were wrong but i am just generalising. In a relationship, someone has to be the dove, you cant both be tough. I have also learnt one thing when it comes to forgiveness, if you still carry the burden of not forgiving him, you are the one hurting more as you feel it more. Talk to him pleasantly and try to point out his fault to him in love. Men love to be respected. I guess he over reacted by slapping you and the insults you hurled at him worsened the situation. |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by sayso: 1:28pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
The devil is really using people here,Sis forgive ur hubby not that man.don't listen to them,some have failed in theirs simply want you to join them.say no to them with the blood of JESUS. |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Nobody: 1:30pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
sayso: ROTFLMAO  |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by djlimse: 1:35pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
@topic, first of , apologize to him, if refuses stop sharing bed with him, if then refused after all dis, ask4 a divorce  |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by sunshinemi: 1:37pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
every man or woman has some element of madness/wildness in him or her just that this trait become exposed in different situations a man can be as gentle as a dove with his wife, family and colleagues at work but when the side mirror of his brand new range rover sport gets smashed by a danfo driver, he gets down and gives the driver some heavy punches that will make samuel peters green with heavy apologise to your husband you do not insinuate to your husband, someone that paid your bridepride and chose you over so many other girls that he stinks and has a body odour and you expect him to kiss and hug you back. some men will do much worse than your husband did. so count yourself lucky that all you got was two slaps. my boyfriend with all the love he showers on me will not take it. infact, if i dare such, am a goner just go and beg him and stop talking to him with your bad mouth. reserve that for people outside your home your husband should be treated witth respect., respect and respect |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by touchmeder: 1:39pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
m so sorry bout this mess i dont even know what to advise. is this not the same girl who came complaining once over sth else in her marriage? he should not have hit you for any reason especially as you are pregnant. i think for a young marriage that man has alot of things on his mind. my guess is that you told him to have his bath in a harsh manner or perhaps rude (although that is no excuse for hitting u). i am afraid if you apologize to him today he might feel he has a license to hit you tomorrow. if it were something apart from hitting though he was wrong i would have said play d matured role and apologize to him. when the whole apology thing is over, please make una sit down. let him speak his mind, cos i think he has alot to say about you and mayb the way things have changed, you go talk your own too and take note of the complaints and try to work around it. this is the early stage of marriage things can be tough but you will go through it. you said he was nice before people dont change over night. most importantly are you a christian? you berra start praying oh. this ur marriage most work in jesus name. |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by touchmeder: 1:40pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
ooh and about aborting the baby that is pure nonsense and you know it. take a chill pill dear. you're worked up too |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by hassymo5(m): 1:42pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
How did you talk to him(manner of approach) if you you were talking to him like you baby then any thing can happen. |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by emiemi(f): 1:43pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Dear Dellynash, It was wrong of him to have slapped you as much as it wrong for you to have said those nasty words. But like so many people have already mentioned, two wrongs can never make a right. So, as a wise woman apologize to him. Not because his actions were right but becos you know better and want to make your marriage work. I know how it feels especially with pregnancy, all you will be craving for is TLC but when u don't get it, you become irritated and grumpy. This could explain some of the reasons why u reacted to him the way you did. Please girl forgive him! He will soon realize his actions were uncalled for and try to make things up to you (except he's a jerk and doesn't care). And pls don't terminate the preg. Show him some more love too and win him back again. Some Questions for you. a) Is this your first pregnancy? b) How long have you been married for? I wish you a settled/peaceful and loving home. |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by abhosts(m): 1:45pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
I am not usually in a hurry to judge men that hit their women because most of the time, women can really push men to the wall when they begin to spew their spleen. I know a man that hit his wife for the first time affter about 14 years of marriage. This man was a perfect gentleman and was one of those who believed that it was barbaric for a man to hit a woman. But you should see the way his wife would repay him. She treated her husband with so much disrespect and condescension. One day, while they were arguing, the man snapped and gave her a dirty slap. What could have made a perfect gentleman hit his wife after 14 years of marriage? |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Epiphany(m): 1:49pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
@sholasys @ Epiphany. Your calculus of moral faculty of thinking is low. Indeed You lack cultural acumen. Your type cannot make a home. Are you Oyibo. Idiot. U fit count how many divource and collapes marriage in that Oyibo land. Ode O boy, i am an Avrican man to the core, REAL AFRICAN, BORN AND BROUGHT UP IN NIGERIA. i grew up in a house where my dad NEVER EVEN RAISED HIS VOICE AT MY MOM, because he is a very educated man who knows that the woman is meant to be a partner in the home and not a servant or student. I am a happily married man and have been for the past 4 years. We lived together in Nigeria for the first 3 years. I have never, and will never raise my voice at my wife, no matter what she does. She has upset me so many times - just like i assume i have upset her countless number of times. That has never made both of us resort to insults or worse still, physical assault. We both understand that it takes two to make a marriage work. The same way you are resorting to hurl insults at me because you probably do not understand my arguement in favour of the poster, is the same way her husband resorted to slapping her. Probably, if i was near you at the time you read my reply, you would have SLAPPED ME TOO!  1 Like |
| Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by JustGood(m): 2:00pm On Mar 27, 2009 |
Very interesting. No man has a right to hit a woman. . . in fact, nobody has a right to assault any other person. However, I am absolutely certain that this story is incomplete. The guy doesn't seem to have a history of violence so, for him to react violently, something more serious than is being revealed here must have pushed him. |
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