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Stats: 1304399 members, 1858686 topics. Date: Saturday, 31 January 2015 at 12:37 PM
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by NeroPapas(m): 2:02pm On Mar 27, 2009|
I was wondering why a man would slap his wife simply because she ask him to go and have his bath. But thanks for your second post cos that's where lies the issue behind this story. It reads:
"I have just been trying to support him cos i believe marriage is for better, for worse, can u imagine we quarrel even on bed during love making cos he thinks only of his own satisfaction, when i say honey i would like but this style he will tell me ah don't disturb me im tired",
This is sexual problem not marital. You actually must have said something that triggered the man and he ended up slapping you. You must apologise fast and promise not to hurt his feelings anymore cos I see a man's ego at work and he will never come to you and he's already punishing you by not giving you feeding allowance.
As some of us said, there's nothing God cannot do. You have married him and you have to live with him. If you think he doesn't dance to your tune sexually, talk to him politely and i know he'll realise himself. Talk to him, ask him why he stopped calling you those luvly pet names, make him realise those things make you happy.
Don't treat him with disdain anymore, show him love and everything shall be well again.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Sholeyb: 2:07pm On Mar 27, 2009|
I would start by saying that if this is the true version of events you are a victim of domestic violence/ abuse and you are not at fault no matter what anybody says. The person who abuses another is the one at fault, is it ok for me to kill somebody because they abused my mother? No, I will be sent to jail for it, or is it right to defraud someone of their money because they are greedy or have too much money anyhow? Wrong. So please do not let anyone tell you that it is your fault, that is rubbish.
I deal with victims of DV and it always starts with one incident and escalates further. I do not advocate that you divorce your husband, however you must recognise that this is a serous matter.
I am not of the opinion that you apologise and leave it at that, if you are a Christian apologise for the way you spoke to him but insist that he seeks counselling either from a professional or the church.
There must have been traces of this in his character before you got married but you probably ignored it, I am telling you for a fact that unless the Holy Spirit gets a hold of him, this will continue.
Please start to pray and seek help from a TRUSTED CHRISTIAN( no need confiding in someone who will tell the whole world your biz or does not have faith in God that he can heal your marriage)
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Epiphany(m): 2:09pm On Mar 27, 2009|
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by niyilawani: 2:15pm On Mar 27, 2009|
You should find a better and polite way of telling your husband to have his bath. Most men generally do not like having their baths at night. This used to cause friction between my wife and I. It's either she tells me to wash my mouth or have my bath, etc. and I used to get so angry because it brings down my ego, but because of the fear of God and my vow never to raise a hand against my wife I have been able to restrain myself from touching her. The truth is that, not all men would be able to tolerate this(we consider it as an insult) especially if it becomes too frequent (you didn't tell us how frequent you've told him this).
Well, am sure some counselled her, and she did the right thing. I am grateful to her now because I am better of today. I think you should try and do the same.
You must experience sweet and bitterness in marriage, it's unavoidable, but you should learn to reconcile as soon as possible.
The reactions of your husband are just normal of men. Please find a way to get him back. God will help you.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by tpia: 2:16pm On Mar 27, 2009|
dont terminate the pregnancy!! Dont cut off your nose to spite your face.
What the man did was very wrong- a man should try to restrain himself from wife battering- and if it were overseas he could get jailed for that, but terminating your pregnancy solves nothing. Besides, it comes with a risk too.
Next time if the man doesnt want to shower, let him be. He's not a small child who needs to be reminded of things like that. When you have your baby, after a while you'll have to remind the child to bath all you want until you tire sef.
As long as he showers before going out in public with you, let him be. Or as long as he's presentable, shower or no shower.
But regardless, he shouldnt have slapped you- that was very bad and cowardly of him.
Some pregnant women do get very cranky due to hormones- I dont know if your husband is aware of this. If you have a trusted friend,relative or pastor who you know wont turn this into a gossipfest, you might want to get them involved and hopefully have them explain this to him.
and dont forget to pray.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by JustGood(m): 2:17pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Women need to understand that the make up of man is such that he wants to know that he has authority and he doesn't like to be made to feel unimportant or to feel that he has no authority.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by janedoe(f): 2:24pm On Mar 27, 2009|
@ topic, don't know much about marriage but this much I can say,cardinal rule of being in an abusive relationship-Leave on your own 2 feet or you might leave in a body bag.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by zains: 2:30pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Women have negatively creative, scalpel-sharp mouths. Hope you didn't tell him he was smelling like a skunk!
Anyways, check your ways and review your marital strategies. He saw something before he married you, hope you haven't given him a reason to regret.
Talk it through with him first, then apologise---It's not a sign of weakness as some purport it to be but a sign of maturity.
If you leave the marriage now, do you think the next marriage won't turn out the same?
''Marriage is two forgivers living together''-Pastor Bimbo Odukoya.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by busybody20: 2:45pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Whats d point of marriage if u cant communicate freely with one another, I used 2 tell my hubby 2 take a shower when he gets home from work, At first, he didnt like it because he felt i meant he was smelling; i only told him it was a hygiene, but he never slap me though, Now he doesnt wait for me to remind him and he sometimes tells me 2 take a shower as soon as i get home 2,
@ poster, What is of concern is d slap he gave u & whilst pregnant, Y shd u apologise when u have done nothing wrong? If he ignores u, Do not ignore him, just act like it didnt bother u, get on along like nothing happened, b4 u no it, u guys will reconcile.
PLS DO NOT TERMINATE THE PREGNANCY FOR WHATEVER REASON, U shdnt let anything bother you in your state to aviod High B.P etc.
Pray for him and Pay your tithes as well, Nothing is impossible for God 2 handle, I have been thru worst experience than yours and i survived it by Gods Grace, God will see you through, It takes 2 to make Marriage work!
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by spikedcylinder: 2:48pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Thats when battery comes in handy. Bravo!
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by luxoire(f): 2:57pm On Mar 27, 2009|
whether or not you are telling us the whole story is your business as ppl cant give you he best advise without the full truth.
however it is betwen you and your God - search your soul and ask the following questions
1 - did you push your husband too far? were as much at fault as he? because where i do not condone any form of domestic violence, i am also an advocate for marriage
2 - try to apologise and get your husband to talk about what ever issues he has with you or the marriage that he raises his hand on you on something so trivial despite all previous promises - tell him how you feel openly and honestly as that is the only way u can both move forward
3 - don't give up on your marriage yet, or the baby but tell him honestly and stand your ground that the next time he beats pregnant or not, you will leave him (no be him pikin u dey carry? y he want kill am?) end of the day he has as much to lose as you do, though most men don't realise that till later!
Hang in there and keep praying - God is faithful, and can not be rushes and honestly ask yourself - did you marry him for the rig th reasons? do you know deep down that this is the man God chose for you? if your answer is Yes, then go to God in prayer and faith before approaching your husband - and i know My God and yours will bring you happiness - just remained tuned to His will.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Feelitx(m): 3:00pm On Mar 27, 2009|
There is no justification whatsoever for your man to hit you. A man never hits a woman! That said, You need to apologize to your husband and move on with your life. My mother likes to say that marriage is 70% forgiveness and 30% love. I will like to also advise that you watch your tongue.Choose your words carefully when ever you speak to anyone because words once said can never be taken back and some of them hurts like a hot knife through butter.
Most of the people on this forum that wants you to refrain from apologizing to your hubby will not undergo the immediate pains that you are passing through neither will there be there if your marriage deteriorates.
Above all things,get wisdom.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by SamMilla1(m): 3:13pm On Mar 27, 2009|
There are things we dont like humans dont like peopleg to remind them of. Maybe you said one of those. an apology can help a lot. stop trying to be hard because you are pregnant. If u dont apologise, he will belive that u can say that again. terminating the pregnancy sounds very easy for you. its not an option for me.
so apologize apologize u will be at the losing end after everything if u dont.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by luvinhubby(m): 3:18pm On Mar 27, 2009|
You can`t get LOVE without SUBMISSION in marriage. Whatever led to the slap did not start that day, the "go and shower" talk was just the last straw. Your husband changed because you appeared to be submissive in courtship and became insubordinate as a wife thereby repelling the love you are supposed to get from him. Look for an elderly and godly Christian lady that will teach you steps in winning back a man`s heart through submission.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by osisi2(f): 3:19pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Only sholey and a handfull of others have made any sense here.
There are some of the responders that deserve slaps themselves
My Husband Has Not Been Talking To Me For Three Days Now Please Help Me.
@ the poster,you have done absolutely nothing wrong to apologise to this man.
Forget all the people telling you to apologise when all you did was speak after receiving 3 hot slaps for nothing.
a lot of women would have hit him with a blunt object.
Do not apologise unless he apologises first
Most of the idiots asking you to apologise are either unmarried or have been beating people or have gladly accepted beatings.
Do not encourage bad behaviour.
If you apologise,you have accepted that you brought on the slaps to yourself and provoked him also thereby deserving of the beating.
You do not deserve it.
Do you have parents?
If he refuses to give you money for food,move in with your parents until the baby is born
You desrve to be in a safe environment with your baby.
If you are Igbo and your parents are like mine that won't tolerate abuse from inlaws,they'll demand that he comes back with his people and wine after the baby is born to ask and beg you to return promising never to lay a finger on you.
My dear did you hear me?
You can only apologise for your utterances after he realises he was wrong.
email me on email@example.com if you want to talk more
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by osisi2(f): 3:25pm On Mar 27, 2009|
no woman under what guise sould accept any sort of pushing or shoving around let alone hot slaps on her face
Only a father has a right to spank a kid and that's to a certain age
The kind of thing I'm reading here scares me.
looks like our men are beasts
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Fhemmmy: 3:25pm On Mar 27, 2009|
I read some of the advices that has been poured out here and i am worried to know this are future leaders of Nigeria, future law makers and practitioners, oh boy, Nigeria is in trouble, no wonder Fela wept for her.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Fhemmmy: 3:27pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Na wa for you oh, the woman never said, the slap was hot oh, she said she was slap, now you are adding "hot" to qualify am.
Jokes apart, no woman deserves such treatment, however, the woman needs to learn how to talk to the man as well, and not even only to talk to the man, but how to even talk to the kids, respect is a 2 way street, let's all walk it.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by luvinhubby(m): 3:28pm On Mar 27, 2009|
HOWEVER, IT IS MORALY UNCLEAN AND IRRESPONSIBLE FOR MAN TO SLAP HIS WIFE FOR "ANY REASON WHATSOEVER" it`s embarassing for manhood
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by sholasys: 3:28pm On Mar 27, 2009|
"@ Epiphany. Your calculus of moral faculty of thinking is low. Indeed You lack cultural acumen. Your type cannot make a home. Are you Oyibo. . U fit count how many divource and collapes marriage in that Oyibo land. Ode
Considering how many unnecessary insults and unproven points you used in your post, I will have to say that it is YOU who has a low thinking faculty. "
@ Hanen, Can u mention the unproven points? Open your eyes and read my post very well. The poster seek for advice but what did u offer? confusion, in-descision. I was objective with good suggestion that can bring lasting peace. Some of you are morally banckrupt and have been carried away by western education. Is it not morally right to appologies in order to make peace. some pple upbringing na hell. I did nt say what the husband did was good. I only suggest what a christian home should do. Epiphany and u left are hanging, mentally tottured and critically discorage abt the husband which is not good. Use your head Dam
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by osisi2(f): 3:29pm On Mar 27, 2009|
As far as i am concerned, under no circumstance in this world, should a man lay a finger on his wife. That is not acceptable. I dont care whether he is or was going through a tough patch or whether he lost his job - he should never, NEVER slap you, his wife, regardless of what you do. Once a man slaps or lays a finger on his wife and there are no repercussions, HE WILL CONTINUE TO DO IT. Prepare yourself for more beatings - if you dont stand your ground now.
Epiphany, may you blessed beyond measure and may your daughters end up with men like you who understand that physical abuse is unacceptable
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by osisi2(f): 3:35pm On Mar 27, 2009|
can't believe folk are telling Delly to apologise.
Sienna my dear,I am flabberghasted
I didn't even read your post before making mine.
She deserves the apology.
I feel so sorry for this woman because she has no job.
[b]This is why no woman should be a housewife, never, ever ,ever
Imagine a man slapping his wife and fellow females are telling her to apologise to him
apologise for what?
receiving a slap?
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Hauwa1: 3:36pm On Mar 27, 2009|
lol at Fhemmy we will assume the slap is hot in this case so osisi is correct.
why should a guy come to bed smelling? unbath? on my bed, no way. you all complain women smell, woman Kitty-Cat smell, a woman works so hard to keep clean, so she has every right to request her husband to go have his bath. like busibody20 said, you should have the freedom to communicate freely with you man. ah men sef!
Justgood, authority umm eh, then he should bath himself and not wait to be reminded. simple thing ![quote][/quote]
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by osisi2(f): 3:40pm On Mar 27, 2009|
every slap is a hot one
was he petting her face?
she has done no wrong if all she did was ask him to go take a bath.
even if she said,Femi you're smelling,go baff abeg he would have gone jejely to clean up his stinking self or just ignored her
That's what a normal male would do.
Every other thing she said or did after the slap,he deserved it and more
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Hauwa1: 3:42pm On Mar 27, 2009|
i think a pregnant women should be given first class treatment from her husband. her husband yes not her boyfriend. every women should and must have that first class treatment during pregnancy. i will deserve no less. so for you poster to say she should not use her pregnancy as an excuse is a ill encouraged.
pls go and take better care of yourself if you have your family. what! refuses to give you his wife money for food when you should be eating classy food made by him during this time? Lord, bless me with a great and real principle man o.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Tinkinguy(m): 3:43pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Thats not a very good way of resolving issues, While I dont condole a Man raising his hands agaist the wife, I also doesn't condole a woman ranting or raising her mouth as the case maybe.
if the parents of the lady call her back to their house, and possibly request for their in-law to come and collect their bride prize, then what next??, she will hook up with another man and wait for similar case to happen so she can run back to her parents?
Character with maturity is what builds a home, , if you are not ready to use wise words when conversing, then consider not getting involve into any relationship whatsover.
running away from your marriage over any issue will not grantee that the next man or woman will not bring similar issue to board.
Everyone married or wishing to married should learn the act of ttoleranceand apply wisdom when needed to make their home a lasting and eexemplaryone.
She should work out her home with Gods grace, no matter how bad it seems.
@ Poster, unless you re not really seeking for advice to bbetteryour home, a gentle aanswerquitens a rough and angry mind.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by sholasys: 3:43pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Action brings Reaction. It is very bad that your Husband slaped you. I totally detest it. I am happly married and i hv never and will never hit my wife no mater what the situation. There are some cases that your huby most first apologies to you but in this case i think you realy need to applogies to him for tongue lashing him and then let him apologies tooo to you. A good woman will follow this advice and other gd once. Sm pple are jst bad advicer with primitive point of view
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by Fhemmmy: 3:45pm On Mar 27, 2009|
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by osisi2(f): 3:48pm On Mar 27, 2009|
I'm almost certain you beat your wife with the head of your belt on a daily basis and she comes crawling back to your baboony self with the nonsense coming out of your mouth.
he slapped her
why should she apologise?
the things she said were said after the slap,didn't you read that part?
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by nwajohn(m): 3:49pm On Mar 27, 2009|
Please i beg you. in the name of God not to terminate the pregnancy because if you do believe me you will regret it later. And also abortion is really dangerous because only 12% of those who went for abortion survives.
What you should do is to call him and talk to him tell him you are sorry and haba! you people are married you are not dating you know those things he likes talk to him to serve your marriage.
Remember you vowed FOR BETTER FOR WORSE TILL DEATH PATH ANY OF YOU.
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by adeyemik: 3:51pm On Mar 27, 2009|
There is no where in the world that two wrongs ever make a right, also there are some spoken words that are worst than being slapped or beaten. Slapping a woman in her present state was equally an irresponsible act and condemnable to the high heavens.
Contemplating abortion because of a small misunderstanding would be worse than all that your husband has done to you, it is tantamount to killing and you have God to answer to. Have you thought of what would happen to you if the aborting process develop complications?
If your husband is not ready to make the move to apologize to you, you take the bull by the horn, go apologize to him and in the process let him know that he was wrong in slapping you (after apology). Let peace return to you marriage.
Peradventure, you have anyone (friends, family etc) suggesting that you should leave him, look they are deceiving you and can be best classified as "UNFRIENDLY FRIEND" not interested and envious of your happiness. You will be surprise if you leave, one of those friend of your (if any) will end up being his wife.
YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO STOOP AND WIN
|Re: My Husband Slapped Me Twice And Now He's Not Talking To Me by osisi2(f): 3:53pm On Mar 27, 2009|
We are talking about a pregnant woman who was slapped for making a simple request and is not feeding properly while pregnant.
why are her rants after the slap more important than the action the abusive,barabaric action that preceeded it?
Is this how Nigerian men think?
I've been a strong defender of the Nigerian males on this site but I'm almost ashamed to read the things coming out of your mouths.
I am married and has been married for more than a decade so I speak as a married woman who has seen friends punched and battered by husbands.
If this man doesn't realise that he was wrong,that girl should have absolutely nothing to do with him
It only gets worse
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