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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship (28226 Views)
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Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by bawz012(m): 11:18am On Aug 31, 2015 |
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Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by refreshrate: 11:18am On Aug 31, 2015 |
freecocoa: i think what the OP means here is generally without the partner im the environment or thought of the person, non of these traits exhibit themselves. Relationship cant cause depression? Try look wedding pictures na, the girls are always smiling happily...look at the husbands face. You think its described as the girls happiest day for fun? Na only the girl dey the marriage ni? |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by freecocoa(f): 11:20am On Aug 31, 2015 |
Truckpusher:I like that you included "where it matters" when making assumptions. I don't remember saying the OP was wrong, I was only saying that no 2 and 5 isn't just a sign of abuse, but you replied like I was wrong with my position. And a partner who is insecure and depressed can come off as being abused when infact that's not the case, that's why the OP should've been more precise in his submission. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by freecocoa(f): 11:22am On Aug 31, 2015 |
refreshrate:How do you mean none of those traits can exhibit themselves?no 2 and 5 that is. Relationships can cause depression ofcourse but is that the only factor that can lead to such? |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Truckpusher(m): 11:35am On Aug 31, 2015 |
freecocoa:Well, I didn't reply that you were totally wrong which is now an assumption on your own part ,but I was only pointing out that if the op's position is to be rearranged in another numerical order, then one can conveniently say that the two numbers you faulted were right after all as it concerns the subject matter. You can argue for Africa sha! |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by chymystique(f): 11:43am On Aug 31, 2015 |
freecocoa: Ana didnt know what she was getting into cause she was naive on what relationships were about. Anyways when she understood what she got into she quickly adapted and so wouldnt call is abuse anymore cause it was consentual... My point is in some abusive relationship, the abused dont usually mind being abused and most times tends to like it... though to the eyes of the world its a psychological disorder |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Ifyjuli25(f): 11:48am On Aug 31, 2015 |
He does one of these to me... Controlling me drives me crazy... I need to fly.. To make friends ND chill out. GOSH!!! |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Nobody: 11:52am On Aug 31, 2015 |
ayocool:Narcissistic abuse can be horrible. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Visocrate(m): 11:54am On Aug 31, 2015 |
ok I have heard you let me leave the comment for the man below me when he comes he will comment on what I have in mind |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by refreshrate: 11:59am On Aug 31, 2015 |
freecocoa: you didnt get my response i meant its only when the partner is present that these traits are experienced. Ability to handle things vary from person to person. Something called a stressor is needed to experience any emotion imaginable. Might not necessarily be the only cause but its the major or predominant cause. and yes relationships if handled wrongly can be a stressor to cause depression. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Visocrate(m): 12:07pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
unfortunately he did not speak my mind so I have to say something narcissistic lover will always run into the trouble of distrust and that will definitely lead to break up |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by freecocoa(f): 12:23pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
refreshrate:And I'm telling you that even without a partner, depression can occur and as for insecurity, one needs a partner to exhibit such behaviour but how then is it the partner's fault that the other is insecure, that it should be qualified as abuse? An insecure person will be insecure with whatever type of partner he/she has, no? 1 Like |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by freecocoa(f): 12:26pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
Truckpusher:Yea well, that isn't the case to show that the fault lies in the OP, you should be quoting the OP, not me. You never see argument. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by freecocoa(f): 12:35pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
chymystique:Being naive is not an excuse, therefore she is to be blamed not gray, she could've just stayed away if she didn't know what it entails. A person who doesn't mind being abused is as crazy as the abuser and has given consent, which brings me to my point being that, if consent is given, you can't call it abuse. Both parties suffer from a psychological disorder and they are both victims of the disease, not that the consent giver is the victim of the abuser in the real sense of the word. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Truckpusher(m): 12:37pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
freecocoa:Of course I'm in tandem with the op's submission but you faulting those two submissions from another direction was totally unnecessary as it doesn't relate to the above mentioned subject issue and of course everyone is aware that an abusive relationship isn't the sole cause of insecurity and depression. I know you must reply . |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Nobody: 12:38pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
doublewisdom: confess your sins |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by mya1: 12:40pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
chymystique: True! In fact, change "some" to "most". The truth is that many times, the abused don't even see it as an abuse until someone points it out to them. They see it as a way of life. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Nobody: 12:45pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
doublewisdom:I very much hope your intimacy doesn't mean sexual intercourse cos if it does,you know nothing. As for them guys liking his comment,you all are bunch of disappointing dudes. What on earth is with guys and their hormones, they are talking of sanity ridden abuse and you talking sex. Lord have mercy!!! |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by freecocoa(f): 12:48pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
Truckpusher:I can bet you not everyone knows this and insecure people reading this, can project their insecurities on their partner, claiming abuse. Depressed people who we all know can channel their frustrations anyhow, can claim abuse when their partners aren't responsible for it. It is very necessary that I tackled it from that perspective as we all know that many people have claimed abuse, where there was none. If you say something worth replying, I will reply. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by XavierBlue(m): 12:56pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
XavierBlue |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by XavierBlue(m): 12:57pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
mentorandfriend: XavierBlue |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by refreshrate: 1:04pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
freecocoa: Calm down babe. Like i said stressors are anything that causes the situation. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it still make a sound? Thats very much like what youre emphasizing now. Insecure means not being sure of the position youre giving in so much to. A person being alone can be insecure about never getting a partner. Someone in a relationship can feel insecure about the partners faithfulness Everyone in a relationship owes it to their partners to make them feel secure. Going ahead to actually not allowing them feel secure like having other members of the opposite sex do things that ideally shouldnt be can be a form of creating insecurity for your partner...this is abuse. OP isnt saying these are the only possible causes for depression, however they are probable causes. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by anelen(m): 1:09pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
olafum1:good one |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by holysina(m): 1:11pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
doublewisdom:hahahahahahha chai bros fear God na |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by refreshrate: 1:12pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
NanaSparks: Erm *clears throat, adjusts tie so can breathe better* Actually... you see...Konji is a real bastard When you hear of 80 year old men doing strange things to children, no be clear eye o. And even though we are wired differently the sex thing is way up on the list of things that can actually run a man insane. Way...way up the list. If not define a man living his home after several years to go and live with another woman Or why oga begins to see the maid as...you know? So you see, you cant actually blame those chaps. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by Truckpusher(m): 1:19pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
freecocoa:Yeah! You're right . |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by freecocoa(f): 1:20pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
refreshrate:I am calm. I do understand that, some people can do things leading to their partners being insecure, which is even a choice, you can choose to stay with someone who makes you feel insecure or leave them, you shouldn't let your partner determine who you turn out to be, is what am saying. Babe, in some instances, partners don't do anything to make the other feel insecure, an already insecure person will have issues with his/her partner having friends of the opposite sex, even if it's innocent, or with their partner being more intelligent, more successful etc. The point am trying to make is, is that, insecurity isn't only a sign of abuse. You can only be abused without your consent or under duress. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by freecocoa(f): 1:30pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
Truckpusher:You know I am. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by olumalcolm(m): 1:33pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
I disagree wit num 2 and 5 cos depression culd b caused by anytin nt necessarily d partner. Some relationships are nt meant to b bt either d lady or d guy is forcing it to b thereby it results in some of dis points u listed above. |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by FredHandsome(m): 1:38pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
olafum1 post =37508430: |
Re: 5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship by timdking1982: 1:40pm On Aug 31, 2015 |
Tanx jare..in relationship we deal wit different pple, d way ur spouse behave 2 u is entirely different 4rm others..some pple need force b4 dey could change their way dat seems rite 2 dem. dat is nt abusive bt u really love dem & ready 2 change dem 4 gud..op ur points are correct bt doesnt apply 2 all relationship |
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