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Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by jmoore(m): 10:08pm On Oct 06, 2015
That's the 'risk' I am taking. No sex till marriage.


It's your body, use it how you like. You can decide to fu** Obi, Adamu and Segun. Just don't blame anyone for the consequences.
Your life, your choice.

As for me, no sex till marriage.

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Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by safarigirl(f): 10:39pm On Oct 06, 2015
henribj:


pornography only shows you a few of the skills that can be performed sexually, it does not in any way add to a man's stability in bed or staying power in bed.
besides, too much pornography is not good, it creates a lot of tension and expectations which might not be satisfied most times.
then interview his ex-girlfriends, or find them and do some undercover investigation grin. Anyway, most men compensate lack of D action with some tonguing. Many couples have abstained all these years and nothing happened, staying power doesn't guarantee a successful marriage.

3 Likes

Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by LordReed(m): 10:44pm On Oct 06, 2015
iAmCharis:
Hmmmm let me sit back and read from others.
Oliviaarims:
I don't know if a thread's been created on this before now..I never came across any,but I've been wondering,is abstinence really ultimate? I'm very conversant with all d benefits that come with abstinence, but there's one very big clause... What if after abstaining so long nd waiting 4 the wedding night to consummate marriage,u discover that ur partner's hopeless in bed? Would the other partner be able to put up with it? Or is sex in marriage not so much of a basic need?...I need opinions,pls..bcoz in my thinking there's no way to guarantee that sex in marriage will be fulfilling having never had d experience with that particular partner prior marriage....
So if I'm right,don't u think total abstinence is a risk?
N.B: Nobody should judge me based on this..I simply want to know other ppl's say on this issue.













#Philosopher Quëën#

I married my wife a virgin and I can tell you without any doubt that our lovemaking is wonderful. At times I even wish I was a virgin when I got married so we can explore the delights of lovemaking together and discover all the hidden joys of it. For me there is nothing like making love to a person that is unequivocally yours.

I feel the reason why people do not enjoy lovemaking in marriage is either they are still hung up on the bad lessons and experiences they had prior to marriage or/and they are not really open to new experiences. Lovemaking is delightful when you go into it ready to give and receive, if you are full of doubts and fears then you'll hinder the real joy you should receive from it.

My conclusion: abstinence is very good.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by henribj(m): 10:47pm On Oct 06, 2015
safarigirl:
then interview his ex-girlfriends, or find them and do some undercover investigation grin. Anyway, most men compensate lack of D action with some tonguing. Many couples have abstained all these years and nothing happened, staying power doesn't guarantee a successful marriage.

the argument is... should we practice abstinence from sex until the marriage night, yes or no?
I would advise advise abstinence, what of you?
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by safarigirl(f): 12:02am On Oct 07, 2015
henribj:


the argument is... should we practice abstinence from sex until the marriage night, yes or no?
I would advise advise abstinence, what of you?
by all means, yes
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by henribj(m): 12:21am On Oct 07, 2015
safarigirl:
by all means, yes

smiley
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by jaxxy(m): 1:27am On Oct 07, 2015
A real relationship ain't all about sex bt it's important. That said I think abstinence is best if u can bt then u must definitely talk about it (in our day and age) b4 anything like marriage to probably gauge expectations in that area and intrests by both parties to avoid disappointments and unpleasant surprises. Once married u guys can improve sofar ure on same page about d issue. I believe in being as real as possible. Nobody holy pass!

2 Likes

Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by HFOG(f): 3:02am On Oct 07, 2015
iAmCharis:
Hmmmm let me sit back and read from others.

But you already know what I'll say
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 6:09am On Oct 07, 2015
Major risk!

Research has shown that it is one of the root causes of many infidelity cases in different marriages...

Think of the old saying "Tested and Trusted (T&T)"

#myopinion
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 6:53am On Oct 07, 2015
HFOG:

But you already know what I'll say
Lol yea but I want you to throw more light.
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Chizzled06(m): 7:03am On Oct 07, 2015
Total abstinence is a massive risk. Compatibility is vital in any relationship and sexual compatibility is a very vital aspect (at least for the first few years)

However I think communication is key. If you're both commited to making it work, I don't think there's anything that can't be learned or taught in the bedroom.

1 Like

Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by juizzyemmanuel(f): 9:10am On Oct 07, 2015
Oliviaarims:

How does that answer d question?
when u're deeply in luv wit a gal, ur brain won't even have the chance to thnk of any three letter words that start wit an "S" not to talk more of ending wit an "X"..... well frm the luk of things, it seems to me that u're still a boy, so don't worry wen u're old enough you will understand wat saying
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by BreezyRita(f): 12:03pm On Oct 07, 2015
Abstinence is a risk? I don't think so.

I'm not married yet but I know people who abstained and are happily married still. Like one guy said, if we all abstained, then there'd be no great expectations and not much shortcomings. But of course that's not about to happen now.

Let's be real now.

I'm sure he wants to marry me. In fact, we're both sure we're getting married. So we decide to TEST (abi TASTE) ourselves before we are hitched. And we discover faults (if I can call it that) in each other, what are we to do? Should I leave him and move on to the next? Is he to keep testing till he finds his ideal sexual partner?

I believe the only place for sexual expression is marriage. Just that with the 'sexual revolution' in this age, the overemphasis and near-obsession with sex in our society has made sex become too important. It is known that great sex takes training and practice. Where else to practice it better if not in your marriage? I mean, you both have all the days of your life to perfect it. Where your partner seems not to be incompetent, instead of getting frustrated, you can be comforted by the fact that you're both not going anywhere and patiently teach yourselves. With open lines of communication, in no time you discover it wasn't that bad after all.

Apart from religious reasons, I've weighed the pros and cons and, abstinence is it.

Cc: iAmCharis

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Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 12:27pm On Oct 07, 2015
BreezyRita:
Abstinence is a risk? I don't think so.

I'm not married yet but I know people who abstained and are happily married still. Like one guy said, if we all abstained, then there'd be no great expectations and not much shortcomings. But of course that's not about to happen now.

Let's be real now.

I'm sure he wants to marry me. In fact, we're both sure we're getting married. So we decide to TEST (abi TASTE) ourselves before we are hitched. And we discover faults (if I can call it that) in each other, what are we to do? Should I leave him and move on to the next? Is he to keep testing till he finds his ideal sexual partner?

I believe the only place for sexual expression is marriage. Just that with the 'sexual revolution' in this age, the overemphasis and near-obsession with sex in our society has made sex become too important. It is known that great sex takes training and practice. Where else to practice it better if not in your marriage? I mean, you both have all the days of your life to perfect it. Where your partner seems not to be incompetent, instead of getting frustrated, you can be comforted by the fact that you're both not going anywhere and patiently teach yourselves. With open lines of communication, in no time you discover it wasn't that bad after all.

Apart from religious reasons, I've weighed the pros and cons and, abstinence is it.

Cc: iAmCharis


Wow! I love your input.
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 1:49pm On Oct 07, 2015
LordReed:


I married my wife a virgin and I can tell you without any doubt that our lovemaking is wonderful. At times I even wish I was a virgin when I got married so we can explore the delights of lovemaking together and discover all the hidden joys of it. For me there is nothing like making love to a person that is unequivocally yours.

I feel the reason why people do not enjoy lovemaking in marriage is either they are still hung up on the bad lessons and experiences they had prior to marriage or/and they are not really open to new experiences. Lovemaking is delightful when you go into it ready to give and receive, if you are full of doubts and fears then you'll hinder the real joy you should receive from it.

My conclusion: abstinence is very good.
Hmmm...nice..But then again,not every body can be as lucky as yhu. Virgin or not.

1 Like

Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 1:50pm On Oct 07, 2015
safarigirl:
how can your partner be hopeless in bed when the pornography industry is still thriving? undecided
Lol...I don't fink that can help in all situations.
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 1:54pm On Oct 07, 2015
funlord:
grin

You must also be a dumb slag to think that I give a toss about your inconsequential and useless query!
U sure do give a damn...the more reason u replied...and I'm quite certain yhu did check d meaning. You should be thanking me 4 bringing d misappropriate usage of the word to ur notice. Nit-wit!
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 1:59pm On Oct 07, 2015
PrimeMinisterr:
. . . . lol , so you still remember the previous episode ?
Sure...
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 2:17pm On Oct 07, 2015
Oliviaarims:
Sure...
. . . ..issorite.
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 2:23pm On Oct 07, 2015
MyTime3:
Major risk!

Research has shown that it is one of the root causes of many infidelity cases in different marriages...

Think of the old saying "Tested and Trusted (T&T)"

#myopinion
Lol..U really saying this?..Alright.
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 2:25pm On Oct 07, 2015
juizzyemmanuel:
when u're deeply in luv wit a gal, ur brain won't even have the chance to thnk of any three letter words that start wit an "S" not to talk more of ending wit an "X"..... well frm the luk of things, it seems to me that u're still a boy, so don't worry wen u're old enough you will understand wat saying
.
Are u saying in essence that ppl who have sex before marriage do not truly love themselves? I don't fink that's true..nd btw,I'm a girl...not a boy.
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 2:29pm On Oct 07, 2015
BreezyRita:
Abstinence is a risk? I don't think so.

I'm not married yet but I know people who abstained and are happily married still. Like one guy said, if we all abstained, then there'd be no great expectations and not much shortcomings. But of course that's not about to happen now.

Let's be real now.

I'm sure he wants to marry me. In fact, we're both sure we're getting married. So we decide to TEST (abi TASTE) ourselves before we are hitched. And we discover faults (if I can call it that) in each other, what are we to do? Should I leave him and move on to the next? Is he to keep testing till he finds his ideal sexual partner?

I believe the only place for sexual expression is marriage. Just that with the 'sexual revolution' in this age, the overemphasis and near-obsession with sex in our society has made sex become too important. It is known that great sex takes training and practice. Where else to practice it better if not in your marriage? I mean, you both have all the days of your life to perfect it. Where your partner seems not to be incompetent, instead of getting frustrated, you can be comforted by the fact that you're both not going anywhere and patiently teach yourselves. With open lines of communication, in no time you discover it wasn't that bad after all.

Apart from religious reasons, I've weighed the pros and cons and, abstinence is it.

Cc: iAmCharis



Perfect answer so far and very logical.....
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Lilimax(f): 2:30pm On Oct 07, 2015
ronald4lif:
Sex is a very vital component of a marriage and can lead to it success or failure of the union in some cases. I understand religious doctrines frowns against this but when sexual frustration sets in it would be inconsolable and regretful. Such problematic situation should be prevented.
It is not religious doctrines that frowns against pre-marital sex rather it is God!
Fornication is a sin against God and should be shelved till after marriage.

Marriage is honourable with be undefiled.... smiley

1 Like

Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by poik(m): 2:40pm On Oct 07, 2015
Oliviaarims:


Satisfaction isn't relative or dependent on what more yhu can get. Once u're satisfied,then u're satisfied!

I beg to disagree. Coming from a biology standpoint, the brain is the engine room of both feelings and hormones. Therefore satisfaction is what the brain interpretes it to be. On a brain and mind muddled up with gross sexual images and ideas, anything less would most likely be undesirable.
Abstinence is important. And who can guarantee that sexual prowess can be maintained over time? Am asking the advocates of sexual philandering?

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Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 3:01pm On Oct 07, 2015
poik:


I beg to disagree. Coming from a biology standpoint, the brain is the engine room of both feelings and hormones. Therefore satisfaction is what the brain interpretes it to be. On a brain and mind muddled up with gross sexual images and ideas, anything less would most likely be undesirable.
Abstinence is important. And who can guarantee that sexual prowess can be maintained over time? Am asking the advocates of sexual philandering?
Valid argument... I concede..
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 3:07pm On Oct 07, 2015
Oliviaarims:

U sure do give a damn...the more reason u replied...and I'm quite certain yhu did check d meaning. You should be thanking me 4 bringing d misappropriate usage of the word to ur notice. Nit-wit!
Lol only if you know who you're quoting. Don't spoil your thread by yourself. wink
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by ronald4lif(m): 3:17pm On Oct 07, 2015
Lilimax:

It is not religious doctrines that frowns against pre-marital sex rather it is God!
Fornication is a sin against God and should be shelved till after marriage.

Marriage is honourable with be undefiled....smiley

What are you saying? Did God communicated to you or anyone he disdain premarital sex? How did you know he frowns against it if not from what is obtainable from the bible and other religious books? Are you attempting to disconnect God from religious doctrines?

Undefile in what context? Before the advent and widespread of religion unmarried/married couple have been mating. Sex is older than the marital institution so the notion that premarital sex is unholy is negligible. It can only be assume so by religious folks not for free thinkers and unreligious fellas.
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by LordReed(m): 4:52pm On Oct 07, 2015
Oliviaarims:

Hmmm...nice..But then again,not every body can be as lucky as yhu. Virgin or not.

Not so much luck as having a good mentality. No doubt I am blessed with a wife who has a good head on her shoulders but then again I won't have married her otherwise. People need to know that they can do things to make their own life better, as they say if life gives you lemons make lemonade. Changing the way you approach an issue can make all the difference. One doesn't have to be a virgin or be experienced but one has to be ready to learn. As experienced as I was at my wedding night I still learnt something from my virgin bride. It's not rocket science but it requires dedication, patience and love.

2 Likes

Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by HIGHESTPOPORI(m): 10:17am On Oct 08, 2015
Oliviaarims:
.
Are u saying in essence that ppl who have sex before marriage do not truly love themselves? I don't fink that's true..nd btw,I'm a girl...not a boy.
Why don't You think its true? From experience?
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Adasun(m): 10:29am On Oct 08, 2015
vizkiz:
so I should abstain totally till all my semen turns to giant frogs abi? shocked

Lol, well I can't "abstain" cuz I will have to know how "capable" my EVERLASTING partner to be is sexually. But if she is a virgin(tested and trusted) and insisting for a ring on it before anything happens. Then why wouldn't I give it a shot? wink. (That is if she's worth the effort oh! angry)
is that your bad side speaking or your good side.:-D
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Nobody: 8:41pm On Oct 08, 2015
iAmCharis:
Lol only if you know who you're quoting. Don't spoil your thread by yourself. wink
Ohhh..wrong recipient... My apologies,pls.
Re: Total Abstinence... Major Risk Or Not? by Gluthatione: 9:37pm On Oct 08, 2015
jmoore:
That's the 'risk' I am taking. No sex till marriage.


It's your body, use it how you like. You can decide to fu** Obi, Adamu and Segun. Just don't blame anyone for the consequences.
Your life, your choice.

As for me, no sex till marriage.
God will bless u brother.Total abstinence is d key to blissful marriage

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