Shebarh:
Don't know wah to say.. but sometimes total abstinence is not the right option cos this person ya talking bout is going to be ya life partner and you will v to know his/her worth on bed... You can do total abstinence when you know the person ya dating is not the serious type

sex na food?assuming ladies quit sampling and learn to close their legs till their wedding night,this wouldn't be an issue at all,but they are busy jumping from one dick to another in the name of relationship to the extent that they are no longer satisfied with only one dick...why shouldn't you ladies worry about sex in marriage.

Oliviaarims:

For most ppl,religious doctrines is why they abstain...I keep wondering what they get to find out in marriage.

what ever they find out in marriage,they will be contented with it,those are the good ladies,God fearing ones who knows that their body is the temple of God...unlike those hoes who are busy jumping from one bed to another in the name of dating.

Oliviaarims:

Hmmm...nice..But then again,not every body can be as lucky as yhu. Virgin or not.

I must marry a virgin,I don't think any man will be happy with a lady with an over_used pusy.

iAmCharis:
Lol yea but I want you to throw more light.

Sir, I trust you've forgiven me for not responding to this before now. Pls do if you haven't. You know how easy it is to be misunderstood and misquoted here. Trying to avoid that as much as I can. Big bro gave a great input which should suffice for both of us for now. Many thanks for everything.

henribj:
total abstinence is being preached by the bible, and as is the case with the bible, it is never wrong.
look at it this way, if everyone abstained from sex till marriage, do you think anyone would know that different men perform differently in bed? if there was abstinence from sex, no woman would ever expect so much in bed from her partner because whatever she gets sexually from her partner, she would believe it is the same other women are also getting from their partners, so therefore their won't be a need to compare one's sexual life with that of other people.
unfortunately since majority of people do not practice abstinence, women have come to learn and expect certain things sexually from their partner.

Well, your submission would have nailed it if every man/woman also keep their sexual exploits to themselves. But since there exists human interactions and some divulge to one another (mostly very close friends) the indescribable wonders they experience with their partners during the act. In summary, since there exists human interactions, the variations will still be exposed thereby making some people feel short changed and looking to fill the gaps.

BluStreak:


Well, your submission would have nailed it if every man/woman also keep their sexual exploits to themselves. But since there exists human interactions and some divulge to one another (mostly very close friends) the indescribable wonders they experience with their partners during the act. In summary, since there exists human interactions, the variations will still be exposed thereby making some people feel short changed and looking to fill the gaps.

You do have a point.

This topic would be totally needless if the OP were a Christian. I believe you know the right thing deep down. Move on!

BluStreak:


Well, your submission would have nailed it if every man/woman also keep their sexual exploits to themselves. But since there exists human interactions and some divulge to one another (mostly very close friends) the indescribable wonders they experience with their partners during the act. In summary, since there exists human interactions, the variations will still be exposed thereby making some people feel short changed and looking to fill the gaps.

I agree.

Bamz:
This topic would be totally needless if the OP were a Christian. I believe you know the right thing deep down. Move on!

What has that got to do with anything? Of course, I'm a Christian.

religious thinking or logical thinking.

logic: lets get some facts out of the way...knowledge is power. marriage is supposedly life long...sexual relationship in marriage is a maker or breaker of marital bliss...

You NEED to know...not have...NEED...However you achieve this is entirely up to you...If u decide to be abstinent but engage in oral communication on s3x, if it satisfies you, good.

If you decide to bang the hell out of each other to understand sexual compatibility, that's good...but the greatest false assumption is that: sexual compatibility comes with doing it...no wayyyyyyyyyy ...There are tons of couples suffering from sexual frustrating moments...These couple did not abstain b4 marriage...dey were active. ..so no, it's an assumption that s3x in itself breeds compatibility. ..

what instigates compatibility is and only is communication...and before you jump, the first communication is self communication...inherently self awareness. ..how would u communicate to your partner what u want if u never had an idea u wanted it?

Oliviaarims:
I don't know if a thread's been created on this before now..I never came across any,but I've been wondering,is abstinence really ultimate? I'm very conversant with all d benefits that come with abstinence, but there's one very big clause... What if after abstaining so long nd waiting 4 the wedding night to consummate marriage,u discover that ur partner's hopeless in bed? Would the other partner be able to put up with it? Or is sex in marriage not so much of a basic need?...I need opinions,pls..bcoz in my thinking there's no way to guarantee that sex in marriage will be fulfilling having never had d experience with that particular partner prior marriage....
So if I'm right,don't u think total abstinence is a risk?
N.B: Nobody should judge me based on this..I simply want to know other ppl's say on this issue.













#Philosopher Quëën#

..okay,if two people in a relationship mutually decide that they want to test their sexual compatibility and then they find out that there are some things they can't deal with e.g an insatiable partner,is it that based on that knowledge they'll now break up with each other,just because they are not sexually compatible?..its just kinda pointless to me,the whole sexual compatibility thing,cus I don't think u'll leave a guy yhu really love just cause u guys are sexually incompatible..to me,sex is something that can be learned and it takes honest communication with your partner to truly enjoy sex..just tell him/her what you need and if they love you,they'll gladly give it..having an open conversation with your partner before marriage can also help you find out whatever you need to know..if ever m gonna do d sex b4 marriage thingy,it'll be cause that guy is worth it and not just to know if we r sexually compatible..

Ummmm what do u mean by "total"

MrsPhyno:
Ummmm what do u mean by "total"

Madam, don't you sleep.

ellafuchsiaordi:

..okay,if two people in a relationship mutually decide that they want to test their sexual compatibility and then they find out that there are some things they can't deal with e.g an insatiable partner,is it that based on that knowledge they'll now break up with each other,just because they are not sexually compatible?..its just kinda pointless to me,the whole sexual compatibility thing,cus I don't think u'll leave a guy yhu really love just cause u guys are sexually incompatible..to me,sex is something that can be learned and it takes honest communication with your partner to truly enjoy sex..just tell him/her what you need and if they love you,they'll gladly give it..having an open conversation with your partner before marriage can also help you find out whatever you need to know..if ever m gonna do d sex b4 marriage thingy,it'll be cause that guy is worth it and not just to know if we r sexually compatible..

Agreed... U can't just leave a partner because he isn't sexually compatible, as long as it isn't an acute medical condition. It would simply mean there wasn't any love in the first place.

MrsPhyno:
Ummmm what do u mean by "total"

By total, I meant staying away from anything intimate whatsoever.

Phinalphantasy:
If you decide to bang the hell out of each other to understand sexual compatibility, that's good...but the greatest false assumption is that: sexual compatibility comes with doing it...no wayyyyyyyyyy ...There are tons of couples suffering from sexual frustrating moments...These couple did not abstain b4 marriage...dey were active. ..so no, it's an assumption that s3x in itself breeds compatibility. ..

what instigates compatibility is and only is communication...and before you jump, the first communication is self communication...inherently self awareness. ..how would u communicate to your partner what u want if u never had an idea u wanted it?

Perfect..