whitelexi cover ur face in shame if u dont think a wife-beater is a criminal,
one that beats his wife so much that she dislocates her shoulder,
refuses her access to her parents,
refuses her access to her self-earned work-pay,
and above all refuses her the right to travel and be independent by seizing her passport for no reason

if u dont call this slavery, pray tell, mr nice guy what u would call this?

advanced form of love?
the isolation of the loved one from the evils of independence and social interactions ?

ThiefOfHearts:

If her name was Kadajait the akata, 4Play would be helpful

Just skimmed through her posts, she's not ready for marriage and is so proud of her man. I can tell a cock and bull story quite easily. Maybe ''Akata'' women are more more honest with their personal experiences.

lizzy A:

@ london4play,what do u mean by cook and bull story?anyway i know what am going thru dats why i decided 2 seek advise frm people i dont know becos i cant be disclosing my problem to people at work becos i dont want people to start discussing about me.i had no intention of involving d cops becos of his CRB,all i want is 4 things to work out btw us,becos i love him,he has really done alot for me,monetry wise.

Dear, there is nothing that man can do worth you giving your whole life to him.  Not only has he taken all your social outlets by cutting you off from others, you literally run the risk of losing your life to this guy from physical abuse. Dont give your life away to someone like this.

4 Play:

Just skimmed through her posts, she's not ready for marriage and is so proud of her man. I can tell a cock and bull story quite easily. Maybe ''Akata'' women are more more honest with their personal experiences.

Im confused as in why is it so hard to believe. I mean you've never heard of women doing whatever they can to travel and end up in pathetic situation?

this lady here needs intensive psyche evaluation
as well as help

how can u defend a man that hits u everytime?
how can u claim to be married when u all but walk on eggshells not knowing when the next beating is coming ur way?

lizzy A:

I dont know why some people are just crazy about dis marriage stuff,anyway i dont think am crazy to go2 d alter wit any man,becos i dont think i can keep dis for better,for worse marital vow.

Is she married or not?

I dont think she referred to him as husband

lizzy A:

Imagine a guy dat took me away frm poverty,when i couldnt afford to pay my school fees back then in nigeria,i just pray things will work out for good,i have seen what they call poverty dats why am still very grateful 2 him to dis day but i have no choice but 2 move on,atleast i can be justified 4 leaving him

The dude is a monumental ass**** for laying his filthy hands on u, he is not a mature man - thats for sure. He appears to be a control freak, and thats just unacceptable in this day and time.
However, i will advise u not to get the cops involved. . .  I say this because i witnessed something very similar to this like 3yrs back when a grown naija man in his 50s was shedding tears in my office [my boss's friend]. He had lost his house, car, business, everything. . .  He even had a 300 meters perimiter restriction from his house and kids. He came to beg my boss to offer him the security-man's post, he didnt mind starting from scratch - living in a £50 p/week rentage. . .  What was the cause of it all, his wife called the cops and said he raped her, he said it was a lie - they had only made love like husband and wife and he only went in to clean up when she phoned the cops.

She lives with her boyfriend in his house today, and those kids have no respect for anyone as a result.

bluespice:

whitelexi cover ur face in shame if u dont think a wife-beater is a criminal,
one that beats his wife so much that she dislocates her shoulder,
refuses her access to her parents,
refuses her access to her self-earned work-pay,
and above all refuses her the right to travel and be independent by seizing her passport for no reason

if u dont call this slavery, pray tell, mr nice guy what u would call this?

advanced form of love?
the isolation of the loved one from the evils of independence and social interactions ?

All i'm saying is, u never know until u hear the entire story! Read my initial post.

lizzy A:

i came in as his wife,he has been here for a very long time,thanks alot 4 all ur advises,i dont wanna call cop on him becos i love him so much,he has really done alot for me,am just tired of his anger and beatings.

So she's not married then, just came in pretending to immigration she's married.

I had no choice then becos d suffering was too much 4 me when i was in nigeria,am d last born of my family,my mum is an old woman and my elder ones are not really well to do,so travelling out then was d best thing dat happened to me and my family.

@4play,keep on posting ur rubbish,i dont think i have ur time

lizzy A:

@4play,keep on posting ur rubbish,i dont think i have ur time

are you married to him or not

lizzy A:

I had no choice then becos d suffering was too much 4 me when i was in nigeria,am d last born of my family,my mum is an old woman and my elder ones are not really well to do,so travelling out then was d best thing dat happened to me and my family.

@Bluespice, I tell u, there's more to be revealed

if he's yoruba it's to be expected. leave his as$.

once a woman beater, always a woman beater.

@Poster
I still don't believe what I am reading, in this day and age?, in a civilized environment like UK?
You have said several times that you want "your relationship" to work. But the reality is that you have no relationship, by the time you realize this, you will either be 6 feet under or permanently disabled. I understand the need to show your gratitude to him, but allowing him to kill or maim you is not a way to show loyalty. Why not leave this abusive relationship, strike out on your own AND forgive him. Later in life, when levels have changed considerably, you guys can talk things out. But as things stand right now, you have no level, no standpoint from which you can talk to him in a way he will hear.
Let me tell you another secret about we men WE RESPECT ACTION! If you keep talking to him from now till eternity, he will not hear. But call the cops for instance, or leave him and start on your own and he will get the message.
The Bible says what can a man give in exchange of his soul? The answer is nothing, but in your case it seems like he has bought your soul with a UK visa, its time to get your soul back!

ok, no but seriously, go seek help from your nearest citizens advice bureau. they will give you advice. they should help find you a hostel for women in abusive relationships. from there you may get permenant housing, that's if you're legal, you also need to get him locked up but i don't know when the right time is to call the cops. just get some real advice first at the bureau. good luck.

sillyme:

if he's yoruba it's to be expected. leave his as$.

once a woman beater, always a woman beater.

Get back in your cage.

yes,he came home 2 marry me before i left 4 uk.I know i made a big mistake 4 bringing my problem to nl becos only few people can understand d pain am going thru,now i know all dat glitters are not gold.Fine am in uk,i have a good job but still am not fufilled.I know God will help me.

loyeruope:

@Poster
I still don't believe what I am reading, in this day and age?, in a civilized environment like UK?
You have said several times that you want "your relationship" to work. But the reality is that you have no relationship, by the time you realize this, you will either be 6 feet under or permanently disabled. I understand the need to show your gratitude to him, but allowing him to kill or maim you is not a way to show loyalty. Why not leave this abusive relationship, strike out on your own AND forgive him. Later in life, when levels have changed considerably, you guys can talk things out. But as things stand right now, you have no level, no standpoint from which you can talk to him in a way he will hear.
Let me tell you another secret about we men WE RESPECT ACTION! If you keep talking to him from now till eternity, he will not hear. But call the cops for instance, or leave him and start on your own and he will get the message.
The Bible says what can a man give in exchange of his soul? The answer is nothing, but in your case it seems like he has bought your soul with a UK visa, its time to get your soul back!

Gbam!

This Loyeruope na my guy jare!

ThiefOfHearts:

Get back in your cage.

Lmao

@Post: People get beaten everyday in naija, i even have oyinbo neighbours who fight like every night and they dont call the cops. . .  Why is our own different??

okay whitelexi ur story is sad
but then the husband? person has all the traits of an abusive lover
the man in ur story sounds legit but this case just has more to it than meets the eye
my money's on the fact that she isnt married, wants to be married hence doesnt want to leave the relationship
she's entwined herself with guilt the only way she can ever be happy is to marry the good samaritan that brought her out of poverty into the UK

note this is her definition of happiness


gurl u need to take a breather, yes he helped u, yes he's been kind towards u
but uve given him more credit than he desreves
he's acting swollen headed now and the moment u begin to act like the human being u are, the less likely ur chances of dieing of internal bleeding


silly me stop spewing garbage!
there's a lot of room on the jokes board

@ whitelexi,i never said i wanna call cops becos i dont want 2 spoil his career wit bad CRB record.

@whitelexi: (1) The case of a man falsely accused is different from the case of someone who actually assaulted his wife.  (2) Criminals never admit to their crimes.  Unless you were there, you can't say he didn't do it.

lizzy A:

yes,he came home 2 marry me before i left 4 uk.I know i made a big mistake 4 bringing my problem to nl becos only few people can understand d pain am going thru,now i know all dat glitters are not gold.Fine am in uk,i have a good job but still am not fufilled.I know God will help me.

If you are married, why did you say this yesterday

dont know why some people are just crazy about dis marriage stuff,anyway i dont think am crazy to go2 d alter wit any man,becos i dont think i can keep dis for better,for worse marital vow.  

Seun:

@whitelexi: (1) The case of a man falsely accused is different from the case of someone who actually assaulted his wife. (2) Criminals never admit to their crimes. Unless you were there, you can't say he didn't do it.

Acknowledged

lizzy A:

@ whitelexi,i never said i wanna call cops becos i dont want 2 spoil his career wit bad CRB record.

Acknowledged too. . .

i wrote dat becos i see no happiness in my marriage which is not really based on love but just becos i wanna escape d world of poverty,so anybody can quote all my previous post but now am speaking straight frm my heart,jokes apart.

Seun:

@whitelexi: (1) The case of a man falsely accused is different from the case of someone who actually assaulted his wife.  (2) Criminals never admit to their crimes.  Unless you were there, you can't say he didn't do it.

thats true but from the story, the woman seems like a questionable character
why impose a restriction order on the man,
refuse him access to his kids
and live in his house with ur current boyfriend
all because he raped u . . .
naw she has somn fishy about her

pardon my ignorance but what is CRB?

Please some of the sistas in the UK speak up and give her some resourses.

Someone based in the UK please speak to her imagration status and how this effects her if she calls the cops?

The Omniscient SistaWoman. If you don't have advice for her, who has?

@ Poster,

What do you know of a CRB? Are you afraid his name would fall under:
a) Police Records of Convictions, Cautions, Reprimands and Final Warnings?
b) Information from the list held under the Education Act?
c) Protection of Children Act List?
d) Protection of Vulnerable Adults Lists?
e) Others?

What kind of job is your partner into that requires a CRB check? Not all jobs in the UK require a CRB check. Has he used that to manipulate you into sitting your ass down in the UK and be subjected to a continuum of abuses? When did you get into the UK? Your partner seizing your International Passport implies that you are limited even if your stay in the UK is valid. You cannot open a separate bank account of your own, you cannot apply for a driving licence of yours. . . .That is outright wickedness. You should report him to the Police immediately. CRB or no CRB

You are an adult, and in the society you live in, it beholds on you to take responsibility for every of your action. Stop being mentally tied to the crass idiocy that you still owe this man something!

4 Play:

The Omniscient SistaWoman. If you don't have advice for her, who has?

What you cant read?